Insane [H.S]

Chapter Ten

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Lecture. That's all I've been hearing for the past few minutes, of course Harry had to tell Zayn and here I am being lectured about how it was such a stupid move to go there alone. they confuse me so much, it was their idea in the first place and now that I am so curious about it they find it dangerous, I snickered internally not showing any sign of being uninterested in whatever Zayn was saying cause that will lead to another lecture.

I know Zayn cares about me but sometimes it just gets too much that I feel like I can't handle it, he can't just blame me when he was the one who dragged us in this, all I did was visit the asylum, talking about me making things a bigger deal yet here I am hearing the same blabbering over again for no apparent reason.

"-God, are you even listening?" Zayn's loud voice pulled me out of my thoughts, my gaze stayed fixated on him but then diverting to Harry who was standing at the corner of the room with his hands resting behind his back on the table, all of this was because of him.

"You're not my father, Zayn. You can't blame me for doing this when it was you who suggested it, nothing even happened there I went in and out in one piece, just get over it" I yelled feeling anger rushing through my veins at the way he keeps trying to control me, he stared at me with wide eyes in disbelief before his expression turned to a furious one in a matter of seconds.

"This is about you being careless and doing whatever the fuck you want without considering it, this is not a game and this asylum ain't a fucking playhouse" he spat angrily.

"Stop treating me like I am some sort of a prisoner or a child, you can't control my every move, you can't keep telling me what to do" I shouted back feeling exhausted, he was not getting my point, he didn't care that Harry was standing a few feet away watching with nothing but a neutral expression on his face, he didn't even bother calming any of us.

"You know why, you're only adding a fuel to a dangerous game of flames" I rolled my eyes at his dramatic response.

On one hand I wanted to let this go so we can already end this conversation that led to nowhere, but on the other hand I didn't like how Zayn was being lately, ever since Harry came around he became someone completely different, there is always this tension between us, lack of connection that I don't know when all of it started, distance wasn't helping me especially this time, it was making the reality hit me even harder and everything seemed too much to take.

I didn't reply, I just took the door that leads to the rooftop not wanting to hear his bickering anymore, this place seems like a good escape, the wind was harshly blowing making my eyes tear up a little bit, I let out a long sigh watching my legs dangling in the air, this place was twelve stories tall, for someone who fears heights I don't know how I found this place comforting,, the sky was dark with a slight purple color that made the stars shine brighter than they usually do, my eyes scanned the huge buildings while drawing irregular shapes on my pants making me feel slightly relaxed, no matter how hard I tried finding a good reason to persuade me that what I did would have endangered my safety in the asylum, I couldn't find one, none of the things they said made me feel regret for going there alone.

"You have a death wish" I could recognise that voice anywhere, I didn't need to turn back to know who it was, Harry.

"Maybe" I said feeling confused as to why he was even here, he sparked my curiosity due to his lack of emotions, the only ever emotion he knew was anger, I could never read him or figure him out even if I wanted to, everything in me was telling me to get closer, but my mind always tells me otherwise and I couldn't bring myself to listen to it, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes while taking one out and putting it between his pink plump lips.

"Smoking is bad for your lungs" I said quietly

He shrugged his shoulders taking a drag out of it then blowing the smoke out "it helps"

"Yeah but it can hurt and harm you in many ways" I said diverting my eyes to the city lights once more feeling the winter's cold breeze against my skin making goosebumps rise.

"Maybe I don't mind it hurting me" he said in his raspy voice while fiddling with the cigarette.

"You don't mind?" I repeated what he just said furrowing my eyebrows.

"Yeah, you just get used to the pain, doesn't feel like it's even hurting anymore" he chuckles at what he said as if it meant nothing, I bit my lip not knowing what to say "you bite your lip, I smoke. We all have our bad habits princess"

"What do you mean by get used to the pain?" I asked quoting what he said.

"Sometimes things happens that you ca-" I was waiting for him to continue with my emotions running wild at the fact that he was going to tell me something about him, but it turned into disappointment when I saw the look on his face "what are you trying to do?"

"Wha-" I felt bewildered at his sudden question, I was trying to get to know him, I felt excited for even the slightest bit of information.

"Is that why you're being so fucking nice? So you can sneak your way into my fucking personal life,huh?" He muttered angrily holding my gaze in such an intense stare that made me want to disappear.

"Harry, this is a preposterous assumption that's not what I me-" I get cut off once again by him grabbing my throat in his firm hands and pulling me forward, his hold wasn't enough to make me choke but it was very abrupt, my hands were shaking badly fearing that if I moved again I would fall down off the rooftop and I know someone like Harry wouldn't mind doing that with his change of persona that happens so quickly.

"Don't lie to me I know what you're doing, stop trying to get inside my fucking head and fuck it up" his green eyes burning into mine with such fury, I closed my eyes for a second feeling defeated at how the conversation turned out, I felt defeated for thinking that I somehow could get something out of him but failing miserably, I wanted to get answers, I desperately needed them but I wasn't trying to get into his head, I was just trying to figure him out as much as I can.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when he released his grip on my neck replacing it with his hands on my hips, grasping me closer to his body "fucking answer me, is that what you're trying to do? Do you think that I am stupid? that I don't understand your little games?" He asked his voice menacingly low.

"But that's where you're wrong, I am not playing any games, I don't understand why everything I ask makes you feel like I am interrogating you, I am not, Harry" I said trying to convince him that my intentions are not as bad as he think they are, his eyes are filled with darkness and his features were prominent while he's clinching his jaw and grinding his teeth together.

"If you think you're gonna make me feel bad for this then you're utterly mistaken, baby" he fired back with an ounce of hesitation, at that moment I felt all my attempts failing.

"I just don't understand what's so dangerous about you that you don't wanna tell me anything about yourself?" I asked in desperation.

"Everything" he exhaled and I could feel his body heat.

His face was inches away from mine and I let out a shaky breath feeling dumb for thinking that it could work "you're so complicated" just when I thought something different was going to come out of his lips he shook his head letting out a huff.

"You don't know the half of it"
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