"Come on, Theo! Get up! We're getting late already." Tinapik ko ang balikat niya ng ilang beses. I kissed his cheek the moment he opened his eyes and it diverted on me.
Kinusot niya ang mga mata saka umupo at niyakap ako. Ah. one of the best feeling every morning.
Mas lalo akong nanggigil sa kanya kaya sinuklian ko iyong yakap niya. He's my favorite person to look at everytime I'm waking up.
It's my mother's birthday today and we're already late. Paano ba naman kasi, late na kami natulog dahil may pinuntahan kagabi kasama si Mavy.
That man is spoiling us with dinners. Hindi naman ako makatanggi kasi itong anak ko ay gustong-gusto palagi.
And I couldn't take off their closeness together. Talagang masaya ito kay Mavy kaya minsan ay hindi na ako napapansin. I'm getting jealous with my son's relationship to Mavy.
"Get up. I'll bath you." Pinatayo ko ito saka kami dumiretso sa bathroom. Kahit dalawa lang kami na narito sa bahay ay ayos na sa akin.
Si Mama naman saka si Papa ang nakakasama niya dito kapag nasa trabaho ako.
"Ma, I'm a big boy now. I can bath myself."
"Yes, you are. I just want to bath you baby so stop whining. Mama missed you so much."
And I've got a chance to be with him now. Ilang buwan rin kasi akong nanatili sa barko at hanggang video chat lang kami.
I'll be spending most of my time with my son now. Kaya heto, birthday ni Mama kaya natagalan kami. It will be held on a hotel. Ako na mismo ang nagsabi sa kanya na doon na lang ganapin dahil ako naman ang gagastos.
It's not a problem to me anyway. Kahit sa ganoon man lang ay makabawi ako.
I've been working for 5 years now. Sa una mahirap kasi nga malayo ako sa kanila, pero unti-unting nasanay na rin.
I can still remember myself crying in the middle of the work because I am missing my son and parents so much.
Buti na lang talaga madali akong nasanay sa trabaho. Wala namang istorbo.
I have my own house. We're now staying here. Pinatayuan ko rin sina Mama ng bahay kahit noong una ay ayaw nila.
I forced them to have a new house since I can pay for it. Kaya ko naman talaga kasi nga nag-ipon naman ako para doon.
Mayroon akong savings para sa bahay ko at bahay nila. And now, I already fulfilled it.
My dreams are now in reality. Bawat pangarap na inaasam ko ay may nakalaan talaga na pera. I've worked hard for it.
Pambawi man lang sa nagawa ko noon.
After all what happened before, I was pregnant. Noong una ay hindi ako makapaniwala kasi kasabay na nangyari iyon ay ang pag-iwan naman sa akin ni Joaquin.
Chesca helped me but I guess it was too late already. Joaquin left me... for good.
He went abroad without telling me, without letting me know of everything. Doon ko lang din natanto na wala na nga pala kami.
My parents became disappointed on me, especially my father.
Sila ang nag-alaga kay Theo noong nagsimula na akong magtrabaho. At first it was really depressing not seeing my son for about a couple of months. Ilang beses akong umiyak kakaisip sa kanya.
I was miserable that time, scared to face the reality and the unending anger of my father to me. Nang malaman niya ay pati ako nanghina.
I saw him cried in front of me for the first time. Hindi nakakilos at hindi makapaniwala sa naging kahinatnan ko.
I had to stop studying for a year for the sake of my baby. Siguro noong una ay napakasama ko kasi pinlano kong ipa-abort iyon.
But then it was my fate. Kahit anong gawin kong pagkitil sa buhay ng bata ay hindi ko magawa. Maybe because I was just thinking too much about everything.
The moment I gave birth, I felt the happiness again. The pain and struggles that I've encountered faded away. Doon ko naramdaman na kahit naging pasaway at hindi ko sinunod ang tatay ko, they still felt happy for me too.
I was the one who cut the lines between us. The communication that we had was lost. Nawala na at mukhang hindi na mababalik pa.
Nakuntento na ako bilang mag-isang bumubuhay sa anak ko. I had a great job. Malaki ang sweldo saka nakakaya ko naman kaya wala akong dahilan na magpapansin sa kanya.
I built my future alone. Mag-isang nagtrabaho at nagsumikap para sa anak. I was desperate to give him everything he needs. I was the one who gave the love that he wanted.
Ngayong isa-isa ko nang natupad ang pangarap ay napakasarap sa pakiramdam. It was like I am sleeping on a cloud nine already.
My life is complete now, but without him, without the father of my child. Matagal ko nang tanggap na hindi na kami magkikita pa, na hindi na kami babalik sa kung ano man ang nasimulan namin dati.
Nang makarating sa hotel ay kaagad kaming sinalubong ni Mama. She's wearing a dress, an expensive dress which I bought her. Sinadya ko rin talagang damihan iyong magiging handa niya dahil alam kong magugustuhan niya iyon.
"Happy Birthday, Ma." I kissed her and then she smiled to my son. "Come on, Theo. What will you say to your lola?" I lowered my head until I reached his level.
Isa sa pinakaayaw kong tignan sa anak ko dati ay iyong mata niya. He got Joaquin's dark eyes and it reminded me of everything about him. Mas lalo na iyong buhok niya dahil unti-unti nang humahaba.
He really looks like his father. Theo wants it to be like that, to have a long hair which I think a not good idea. Siguro ay papagupitan ko na lang siya.
"Pa," I kissed my father's cheek until he carried my son. Kahit galit naman ito sa akin noon, tinanggap niya pa rin ako.
"Kamusta trabaho? Na-miss ka nitong apo ko." I smiled when he tried talking to me. Sinagot ko iyong tanong niya.
I love how he cared to my son. Noong mga panahong wala akong magawa, siya parati ang nandyan kahit na ramdam ko pa rin ang hinanakit niya.
He wished me to study well but it turned out this way. I got pregnant at an early age, still no work and studying. Nagsisi rin naman ako noon kaso huli na ang lahat.
I screwed up. But then I guess, this is the only mistake that I treasured. An angel was sent to me after the devil was gone. My son is my angel, totally the opposite of his father which is the devil.
"Mama. I want some chocolates!" he pointed where the sweets are. Ibinaba siya ni Papa saka yumakap sa mga tuhod ko.
"No. You just ate a lot of chocolates last night, Theo. Your teeth will be damaged."
He made an about to cry look while looking up at me. Sinuklay ko iyong buhok niya saka lumuhod sa kanyang harapan.
Lagi akong natatalo ng mga mata niya.
"Okay, you'll have some chocolates but for one condition." I fixed his shirt and then pinched his cheek. "We'll cut your hair after this. Is that okay?"
He frowned upon hearing it. And now I can see the mini version of Joaquin in front of me. Ang tanging namana niya lang naman sa akin ay iyong matangos kong ilong saka ang pisngi. The rest are his father's.
"But Mama! I want my hair like this! You said I look like my Papa when my hair's long." He pouted and then about to cry again.
God. My son's too cute. I want to hug and just pinched his cheek more.
"Yes, you look like your Papa but please Theo, I want your hair to be short. We'll just cut few inches, okay? Your hair's too long already."
Sa huli ay tumango na lang ito saka masayang hinila ako kung saan naroon ang mga chocolates. I excused myself to my parents.
Hinayaan ko itong kumain pero kaunti lang. We sat on the table near us and I got him the real food. May iilang bumati sa akin na kinausap ko muna bago ako ulit nakabalik sa table namin.
Usually kasi kapag may mga ganitong okasyon noon ay hindi ako nakakapunta dahil nasa trabaho ako.
A simple call and greetings will do. Ngayon lang talaga ako nakapunta kaya ako na mismo nag-suggest na dito ganapin.
Aside from that, I missed my son's birthdays, too. Isa nga rin sa mga dahilan kung bakit ako umuwi ay para makadalo ako. I can't stand not attending some of his birthdays, lalo nang magsi-six year old na ang anak ko.
He's growing too fast and I can clearly see the resemblance of his father on him. Dati ko na ngang naikukwento sa kanya si Joaquin pero wala akong maipakitang picture naming dalawa.
So I searched his name on any social media accounts. Tanging naging choice ko lang noon ay ang Instagram account niya which has a fewer posts only.
Pinakita ko sa kanya ang picture at pagkatapos noon ay lagi na niyang tinitignan. As if he's memorizing his face just like what Joaquin's doing to me back then.
Kahit naman iniwan niya ako ay hindi ko rin naman gawain na ipagkait sa anak ko ang kanyang tatay. He deserves the world, the family that he wants.
Gustuhin ko mang makumpleto o 'di kaya ay bigyan ng isang masayang pamilya si Theo, tingin ko ay malabo na dahil nang minsang mapadaan sa account niya ay mayroon siyang kasamang babae.
I got curious at first not until I saw the caption.
Love.
That was the caption that I've read. The girl was smiling and then carrying a child which I think it is Joaquin's. Sa buong pinost niya ay doon lang ako naintriga .And I guess, I'll be with my son alone forever.
Simula noon ay hindi na ako umasa pa na ang sinabi niya sa akin noon ay sa akin matutupad. That he won't let his child not experience the incomplete family which he already felt. Ayoko namang mang-agaw ng asawa o ama.
But if he's willing to sustain my child, then I'll accept it. Kapag dumating ang panahon na malaman niya ang tungkol sa anak ko, doon ko sasabihin lahat.
I am always ready to face him now, to tell everything without getting hurt. When the time comes...
"Tito Dad!" Theo exclaimed and then stood up to welcome Mavy who's now walking towards us.
He's wearing a black fitted longsleeve and a faded jeans while holding a paper bag, of course, with his specs. Iyon lang naman ang hindi nagbago sa kanya.
Kinarga niya ang anak ko saka hinalikan sa pisngi.
"How are you big boy? You're eating chocolates again, huh?"
"Mama allowed me to. But my hair's gonna be short later because Mama decided to cut my hair, po."
He glanced at me. Tumayo ako saka hinalikan rin ang pisngi niya bago naupo sa tabi ko habang nakakandong sa kanya si Theo.
"I just want to have a different look on him. Masyado nang mahaba."
He chuckled and then ate the food that's in front of him. Sinubuan niya rin si Theo na ngayon ay pilit na binubuksan iyong paper bag.
"You really want to get rid of my friend's look on him? Masyadong malakas ang dugong dumadaloy kaya naging kamukha na ng anak mo."
Inikot ko ang mata saka kumain.
We had a good relationship to each other before until I gave birth. Nalaman niya raw dahil kay Chesca noon kaya he took care of me. He acted as the father of my child though I didn't agree on it.
Kaya siya na rin ang nakasanayan ni Theo kahit na minsan ay nagmumukhang sila ang mag-ama. But I can't deny the fact that he still wants to have his own family, kaya sa anak ko na rin niya naibuhos ang kagustuhan niyang maging ama.
Buti na lang dahil naging mabait naman sa akin si Papa. He knew that Mavy is the son of my boss way back when I was working. Kaya siguro hindi na rin naman niya pinagbawalan dahil syempre, nagtrabaho ako sa Mama niya.
"Hindi naman. Masyado lang mahaba saka ayokong masanay na laging mahaba ang buhok. He might like it until he grow up."
"Oh? Ayaw mo no'n? For sure, if Joaquin got a chance to see him, unang papasok sa isip no'n na anak nga niya si Theo .He nailed the hairstyle. Tignan mo, oh."
He brushed Theo's long hair. Iniisip ko tuloy kung paano na lang iyong pamilya ni Joaquin kapag nalaman niyang may anak siya sa akin.
I can't ruin a family. Gustuhin ko mang mapunta sa sitwasyon ng babaeng mahal niya, hindi ko kayang manira ng pamilya para lang doon.
That will never happen.
"Hmm. Galing kang work?"
"Yup. Just here to spend some time with you two and to give this to Tita."
Natawa ako saka kinuha iyong paper bag. Kinausap na muna niya si Theo na ngayon ay sinusubuan niya pa rin kahit malaki na.
"Spend some time? Kasama mo nga lang kami kagabi. Hindi ka yata nauumay."
"No, I'm not. Especially with this kiddo."
"You should learn how to manage your time with us. Baka naman sa amin lang napupunta kaya napapabayaan mo ang work mo. That won't do to me, Mr. Maverieck Arellano."
"Uh-huh? Why would I skip work to be with you, future Mrs. Arellano?"
I punched his muscles and then he laughed. Binigyan ko siya ng masamang tingin bago kinuha ang anak ko sa kanya.
This man really knows how to silent me. Ewan ko ba kung bakit lagi kaming sinasama sa dinners saka sa mall para lang aliwin si Theo. Kaya pumasok agad sa isip ko na baka mas prioritize niya kami kaysa trabaho.
Minsan na ngang lagi kaming nag-uusap habang nasa barko ako tapos siya habang nagtatrabaho. Lakas maka multi tasker din, eh.
Binigay niya kay Mama iyong regalo saka nag-usap ng kaunti kasama si Papa. Theo and I continued eating while waiting for him to come back on our table.
Pagkatapos nito ay didiretso kami para pagupitan na ang buhok niya. I can't wait to see him having his short hair.
"We're going on a Disney Cruise on Theo's birthday. Iyon ang gusto niya kaya doon kami pupunta," sabi ko nang makabalik na ito. Tinupi niya hanggang siko ang suot saka tumitig sa akin.
"Really? Then we'll go. This kid wants me to be there for sure."
"You're not going. May trabaho ka saka hindi naman pwedeng umalis na doon. We'll be having a trip abroad after that!"
Umiling ito saka ngumiti bago kinuha ang phone saka may ginawang kung ano bago pinakita sa akin. I almost wanted to slap him for doing that!
"Got no choice. I already booked a ticket to Florida. And I'm going."