"You... you need to do your best. You need to make sure to never let your team down." Jewel said while standing in front of a full-length mirror on the corner of the room, talking to her reflection again. At this point, no one even tries to ask what she is doing as the are already used to her weird habit. "I will not forgive you, even if you make the smallest mistake. Please, just do your best. Please. For you, for me, for your team. For us."
ep. 14
우리 중 14 명이 있습니다. (There are 14 of us.)
[LOS ANGELES]
"Oh wow." She said after seeing how many carats came to watch their concert today. "Can I do it?" She muttered, then entered the dressing room to change her clothes and at the same time to check on the other members.
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"How should I put it... but for me whose training period is shorter than them, I sometimes feel burdened." Her eyes looked here and there like she was looking for something. "Like, ah, Can I do this, can I do that, without having to ask for help from them." Then her eyes returned to the camera with a slight uncertainty in her voice. "I don't want.... to bother them because... I'm a little late in this industry?"
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She sat in the chair that had been provided for her, watching and listening to their conversation sometimes laughing at the jokes. However, not long before the concert began, she suddenly felt uneasy as if something was preventing him from going with her members like she didn't practice enough yet to perform with them. "Are you ok?" Joshua asked, worried about the condition of the youngest member.
"Huh?" She responded didn't catch well what he asked her, busy with her problems. He repeated the same question this time in English. "Oh yeah, I'm fine." A little smile. "Just a tad bit worried." Her head hanging low while playing the hem of her clothes. "I ... I don't know, Josh, half of me who wants to perform and half not. Like there's something... Oops sorry." She then smiled after cutting herself off. "Come on, it's time for us to shine." She said entering the stage leaving Joshua, who was worried about her condition.
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"Actually I'm about worried about Jewel, as she tends to set high standards for herself. Every comeback, the standard she sets for herself is getting higher and higher. she always says, 'Yes I can' 'you don't need to worry' or something like that, even though her body needs rest." Joshua said.
"Every time we reminded Jewel to rest, she instead insisted that she was fine and could continue practicing again. I often told her to rest, but not long after that, she would just return to practice again. I don't know, sometimes I think that her whole life is about practice, practice, and practice."
"I don't know what's happening with me at that time." Again her eyes lost focus and start to wander again. "SEVENTEEN... is a blessing to me. For me they are angels, they help the people they care for and protect them." Jewel smiles, but her smile doesn't look happy but rather bitter and forced. "Sometimes, I feel sorry for them. I often feel like burdening them, but they always say that it's okay. Even so, I still don't want to be a bother."
-
When they were given time to talk to fans, Jewel asked for permission to return to the waiting room, because the feelings of fear worsened and she wanted to calm down a little before any of the members felt worried.
"You... you need to do your best. You need to make sure to never let your team down." Jewel said while standing in front of a full-length mirror on the corner of the room, talking to her reflection again hoping to relive the feeling of excessive worry and fear.
At this point, no one even tries to ask what she is doing as the are already used to her weird habit. "I will not forgive you, even if you make the smallest mistake. Please, just do your best. Please. For you, for me, for your team. For us." Unfortunately, instead of getting better, her condition got worse and was taken to the hospital to check on her mental health.
"Umm ... So everyone," Scoups paused, making sure the whole stadium listen what he is about to say, "first of all, there is a member named Jewel, he was forced to go to the hospital because of health problems. So we apologize to the fans who have been waiting." Then the concert continued.
-
"Negative thinking... is my weakness. Without realizing it, I always think negatively first and it sometimes makes me stressed." She crossed her legs leaning back against the couch. "Thanks to my members, I start to think positively and don't always try to think negatively, even though sometimes there are times where I can't help it and start to think negatively again, my members keep helping me to overcome it and I'm very grateful for that."
"When I'm with them, I feel like everything will always be okay. I don't know, it just always feel like that." She smiled. "I... secretly practiced and only get 2 to 3 hours sleep... sometimes I don't, because I feel like it's not enough, whatever I'm doing on that day. I also often spend my time in my studio, creating beats and writing songs. Yes, I feel exhausted and wanted nothing but to sleep. But, like when my member praised me for my improvement, it just makes me feels better like my exhaustion was gone..... like I was never exhausted before."
"If.. one of the members is sick or happen to have a different schedule from us, I always tried to cover up their... umm... absence?" She raised her eyebrow, unable to fully express her thought into words due to her somewhat lack of vocabulary. "I always say things 'It's alright, It's alright, I got this. I will do it' and it makes me feel burdened somehow? I always say things like that, but, I myself don't know, I could do it or not."
Jewel straightened her sitting position. "Of course, my member will not let me do all of that alone. As they say, that's what a team does, we help each other. Because as a team, we can pull together an incredible work." She lightly smiled at the camera. "I trust them and they trust me, we work together and we create history."
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[ You can't always control everything, just let it be.
Once in a while, you need to take a deep breath and relax.
Everything is going to turn out better than you expected. ]