Leah
When I got up, I hugged Lander goodbye. After that, I went inside to get myself a snack before heading upstairs. My stomach was rumbling, and I wasn't about to deny myself food.
.
.
.
The door to the kitchen was wide open when I got there. Not a soul was there, not even a mouse or insect. The house was almost empty. The inside was much like a scene from the Twilight Zone.
Looking outside, I could only see the retreating form of Lander's back as he rolled the mat back up and put away all the equipment left out by the other groups. I wanted to help him, but I was unsure of when I'd get another opportunity to roam the house without getting spotted.
I also needed to collect supplies for my trip.
Sighing, I grabbed a woven basket from a shelf near the door. Along with it, I also took a small cloth to hide the contents, a knife, and matches that I found in the drawer beneath one of the sinks.
I twirled happily, smiling because I finally felt some semblance of freedom. After taking the food upstairs, I would take a nice steaming bath, prepare a backpack with clothes, and find a hiding place for it. I was still debating on whether or not I should take the spellbook. I was leaning more so on the not side, but I had to weigh in all my options.
"Oof!"
I crashed into a large mass in the middle of the kitchen. I was hoping it was a support pole but realized quickly that it wasn't. It was fleshy and solid, wide with a curved front. It also smelt distinctly like misty rain within deep pine forests.
He grunted with the impact, gripping my shoulders to keep me from falling on my face. Startled, I slammed the back of my thighs against the long dining table that stretched from one side of the room to the other. Vases wobbled but, luckily, didn't topple over.
"I knew I smelled you," Kane grumbled.
I gaped, feeling my heart thud in my chest. "What? Do I smell bad?" I asked. A bright shiny apple on the other side of the room caught my eye. Its red skin looked like stained glass from afar.
"Not really?" he said as more of a question. He sighed, his hands twitching at his sides with the urge to touch me- I could feel it, just as I had the same urge. "You smell like a freshly baked cinnamon roll, but with an aftertaste of sewage."
I pushed past him, careful not to touch. "That's great. Glad to know I smell like sewage."
I made my way over to the apple and placed it in my basket. Then took another down and took a bite out of it. The juices filled my mouth wonderfully, replenishing the water I had lost while fighting with Lander.
His eyes bore into the back of my head, next going down the length of my neck to my healed mark on my right shoulder. He paused, breathing slowly as a rush of heat entered his body.
"Leah, in the eyes of Alla, you're still a rogue. I've done everything I could."
I stayed rooted by the apples, trying to ignore the hurt in his voice. I needed to stay strong; I needed to get away before I was pulled to him.
"So, I still smell like a rogue? Is claiming me not enough?" I was more so talking to the sky, secretly thanking the Goddess for allowing me the freedom of still being a rogue. If I were a part of Kane's pack now, I'd then be counted as a traitor for two packs if I ran again, except this time I knew Kane could track me down.
He sniffed the air again but hesitated to tell me what he found. He rushed to the exit, leaned his head outside, and breathed in as long as he could. When Kane turned around, his eyes blazed liquid gold.
"You've been with young Lander?" he asked menacingly. I backed up but realized that I was trapped between a shelf, an angered alpha, and a table, none of which I could get around easily.
"We were just training," I said truthfully, but my voice squeaked with fear. He stalked after me, his footsteps bouncing off the floor and straight into my ears.
"Did he touch you?" he asked rhetorically while touching my arm with his fingertips. He was close now...too close. I couldn't find the strength within me to push him away. I wanted him pressed against me, skin to skin, with no space in between.
I wanted him to kiss me.
His fingers grazed up to my mark, caressing it with gentle strokes, then moved to my collarbone. There, he pressed harder, more urgently. His thumb traced the base of my throat, slowly creeping upward to my chin.
"Answer me, little rogue," he said gruffly- I could hear the reverberation in his vocal cords. I nodded, unable to form words.
Kane's other hand moved down my side, following the curve of my hip to my thigh. With a pinch, he had me jumping into his arms, slowly being placed on the table next to us.
I scooted back, but he tugged at my knees, drawing me as close as possible to his front. I rested my head against his chest, the dizziness of self-control getting the better of me.
Kane suddenly gripped my jaw, raising my eyes to look at him. His thumb, as rough as it was, ran over my bottom lip forcefully.
"Did he kiss you?" He growled, eyes furrowed with anger.
I scowled, swatting his hand away from my face. "Of course not!" I said, glaring daggers. "I'm not dumb enough to risk his life like that."
He stepped into my open legs, hands now plastered to my knees, steadily spreading them wider. He huffed in my face, the hot air like smoke from an extinguished flame.
"Good," he stated. His lips descended on my cheek, touching my skin as though it were ultra-thin paper. "You're lips are mine, Leah. Everything that you are- every breath, every caress, every heartbeat- is mine."
A pulsating wave of heat scorched my brain from where his lips tenderly kissed my jaw. Each little peck left an everlasting pressure underneath the skin, buried deep in the muscle and bone.
Panicking, I pushed hard against his chest. Get yourself together, I scolded myself.
"I know it's hard," he whispered cautiously like he could read the struggle going on inside my head. "It's hard loving someone, but then having your instincts pull you away from them."
I understood now the sadness that radiated from him. He was talking about Katherine, and it made sense why he would think I felt the same way. He thought I was in love with Lander.
Kane's eyes changed back to their beautiful bronze state as he watched me closely, all anger now gone and leaving behind only regret and dejection.
"Kane, I'm not-"
His lips pressed against mine in a whirlwind of emotions; his hands coming up to cup my face. In spite of my newest conclusions, I kissed him back with just as much force. Who knew the next time- if there was going to be a next time- I would get to kiss him again.
For me, this was our goodbye.
My head was spinning from the lack of oxygen when he finally pulled away. I felt the need to cry, to let my heart reach out to him, and to tell him the truth about my feelings. If this was our goodbye, shouldn't he know the truth?
"I understand," he said while smoothing down my frizzy hair. "And that's why I'll respect your wishes from now on. I-I..." He gulped, casting his eyes off to the side. When he eventually looked at me, he was frowning again and his eyes held specks of gold in them. "I love you, and that is why I'm letting you go."
I gripped his arms, willing him to stop talking.
"If you truly love him and want to be with him, then I'll reject you to make it easier for both of us. You'll want to have children someday, yeah?" I was not amused by his efforts to try and joke.
My nails dug deeper into the muscles of his biceps. I was shaking now, not with anger or fear, not with any emotion, just shaking. Anticipation maybe?
Wasn't this what I wanted? Haven't I been praying since the day I arrive for Kane to reject me? Then why did it hurt so much? Why did the Moon Goddess have to be so cruel to us, to let us hurt each other to the point where we were on the verge of rejection- something I'd been wanting- and then place doubt within our hearts like this?
A tear slid down my cheek, and he quickly wiped it away.
"I, Alpha of the Bronze pack," he started, closing his eyes tightly.
I mumbled under my breath words I couldn't understand. Something close to a warning.
He didn't hear me, or gaging by the slight tick in his jaw, seemingly ignored it. "Defying every law the Goddess has made..."
I growled louder, shaking fiercely against his chest. I couldn't take it much longer. I was breaking apart at the seams.
Why! Why was he doing this?
He opened his mouth to speak, but my hand shot out and slapped him across the cheek before he could utter another word of rejection. It stung alarmingly against the pads of my fingers.
"Stop it!" I cried, concealing my face in the folds of his shirt. "I can't let you do it." My hands trembled as I released him. Letting them rest at my sides, I tried calming the perturbed muscles in my fingers and joints.
The sensation was scary. My soul was being torn from my body, the weight of it lifting for only a millisecond. If I hadn't stopped him, he would have taken my soul and everything I had along with it.
I slammed my right fist against his heart. "Can't you feel it?" I asked in between sobs. "The breaking? Why don't you care!" I kept hitting him until he stopped me.
"You think I want this!" He yelled. He readjusted my hands so my palm laid flat against his heart- I could feel the thumping in his chest- and held it still. "Tell me what you want, Leah. I'll do anything, just tell me," he said, lowering his voice to a whisper.
...Tell him...
Tell him what exactly? That I want him? That I don't have feelings for Lander? Tell him that I would be leaving tomorrow because I couldn't risk the lives of my family or his?
Tell him that you love him, my wolf purred.
"I-I..." Looking away, I jerked myself out of his hold and jumped from the table. "I have to go," I said, rushed and breathless.
Then I was gone, out the kitchen doors with tears stinging my eyes, racing for my bedroom, the basket of food completely forgotten along with the part of my soul that stayed behind.