"Your memory feels like home to me.
So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it's way back to you."
-
Mew already had a bad feeling, he knew his father would try something but his mind was too messed up, everything was so new and their current plan needed change with the news Non gave them.He was trying to find a way out, something to make his father listen to him and go with his way, just like before.He managed to do that before so he could do it again if he would be able to find a way, he was distracted, panicked.
Cause he knew his father more than anyone else, he would do everything to end this disease.This thought make him walk inside the room faster, he knew his father wouldn't hesitate to hurt Gulf because of his purpose, he was still not sure about the baby, maybe, but he wasn't sure about him not hurting his grandkid either.
Basically, his father was the last person he could trust.
He did good with not telling him the truth and try to fix the things between them.Cause if he knew the baby wasn't from his bloodline, he wouldn't care about her too.
"I'm going to lose my fucking mind!" He kicked few chairs in front of him, tugging on his hair as he stopped screaming in front of the door and walked towards the window.
He realized that he still got his phone with him and tried to call his dad for few times but of course he didn't answer.He got surprised with the name hi saw on his screen, but quickly answered the call he received.
"Why did you do that?! I told you to wait!" He roared at the phone, he was beyond angry at the moment cause being trapped in there was sending him to edge. "I thought I could trust you---I thought we were fucking friends!"
"I'm sorry----we are friends, Mew."
Mew groaned angrily, rubbing his face and starting to draw circles in the room again, he couldn't stop walking or kicking things cause he was feeling like he was about to explode.
"They would learn it eventually and---I know that you are angry right now but I did the right thing for all of us."
"What do you mean?! You caused them to come to my house with an army, took Gulf away and lock me in a goddamn room! Is this how you fucking help us?!"
"If they would learn that I was lying, they wouldn't let me keep being his doctor."
"Wait---" Mew stopped walking. "--Do you mean--you are still his doctor?"
"Not the only one from now on, but still one of them."
"I'm going to lose my mind---I'm going to lose it." Mew mumbled, rubbing his forehead harshly since he knew his dad would grab the best doctors, best ones were the worst ones in his eyes and he could see the scene they were all towering over Gulf.
He didn't like it.
"You need to calm down, Mew."
"Don't tell me to fucking calm down!" Mew yelled again, Non wasn't familiar with this side of him, nobody was actually familiar with it since Mew tend to solve things without getting this much angry.He was a guy who would like to talk instead of going with the hard way.
But right now, he was really furious.
"He is all alone and he is scared! Do you know what that means?! He never shows his fear and he said that he was scared---that means he is terrified!" Mew kept screaming, not caring about anything else since he saw the way Gulf looked at him in the car, he was scared, for the first time he wasn't even hiding it and Mew knew what it meant.
"I will try to help as much as I can, I'm sorry Mew."
"Yes---be sorry!" Mew yelled before hanging up and throwing the phone over the glass desk without giving any fucks. "Be fucking sorry like it's gonna change something!" He groaned, having an urge to beat the shit out of something to calm down but he only got walls around of him.
After Gulf walked into his life, everything happened so fast.It started with blood, lies, strangeness and distance.But in the blink of an eye it kept going with late night talks, laughs, puzzles and food cans.Mew didn't think anybody could understand the thing between him and Gulf now.He loved Mild too, he was his best friend and everything; but he never felt like this with him.Gulf wasn't just a friend to him, he knew it too, he was something really precious he had to protect cause he had this thought in his head for years.This system was pushing him to hate the way he was, and Gulf was the boy he took from that place.He couldn't do anything to change this all, not now, but he had Gulf and at least he could protect him.He could do that much and it actually made Mew feel better, seeing the way Gulf started to smile with him and actually got comfortable was a sacred feeling.He knew Gulf was feeling the same cause the boy didn't like the way he was either, both of them were supposed to hate each other.Mew admired Gulf for being so brave and strong.He couldn't take a step for the things he found right, but Gulf did, he did it in a place like Area C.Gulf admired him for being normal, looking at Mew like that made Gulf think about the life he could have if he wouldn't turn out to be a fertile.They were both supposed to hate each other but somehow they both found comfort with each other.Day by day, being together got really fun.For Mew, eating dinner with someone was a nice feeling.For Gulf, having someone who looked at him like he was just a boy, was a nice feeling.Both of them were treating each other in a way they actually wanted it all this time, it just happened.
Mew didn't know it but it had a huge effect on Gulf.He was still disgusted by himself when he met with his mom and he got confused when he actually felt a little bit normal when he was with her.Like him having a 'thing' inside his belly was that abnormal, like he wasn't supposed to hate himself that much because of that.And after some time, it happened with Mew too.Older didn't notice it at all, but Gulf did.It was the reason why his aching got so worse and his doctor made that talk about Gulf needing to accept this situation.Cause he wanted to embrace it every time Mew was acting like it was such a holy thing, like it wasn't disgusting as Gulf thought, like it was something to be proud of.These thoughts pushed him to force himself to hate the 'thing' again, and caused that breakdown.It was difficult, but it led something better.
Gulf knew he liked Mew a lot, having him by his side became something so usual, like it was his mom standing by his side.Mew wasn't some guy who had a good heart and wanted to help him, he was like that at first, but now, he was someone Gulf cared about.
It was strange as hell, cause Gulf knew himself.He needed to be furious right now, he was supposed be so angry while that guys were taking him to that room and not even informing him about the things but ordering him to lay on the stretcher.Gulf should've been so angry, he should've create a mess, make a fuss, yell and punch few guys until he was trapped on that stretcher.But he didn't feel like that, he just layed on it like they said and took a deep breathe.
He wasn't feeling angry.
He was scared.
He realized being scared was so much worse than being angry.
The side he created in Area C wouldn't let him feel scared like this, but spending so much time with Mew caused him to let that side go.It wasn't needed anyway, Area X was safe and if something would go wrong, Mew would somehow fix it.That was why his mind was quick to tell that he was Mew's mate when that man didn't stop hitting him.He never thought about this, but deep down he started to rely on Mew more than he thought.
And he knew it wouldn't hurt this much if Mew was there, it was weird, maybe absurd but the thing they pushed under his skin wouldn't hurt that much if Mew was in that room.
He just knew it.
-
Mew's father sighed after unlocking the door and walking in.Everything in the room was messed up, shattered and ruined.Mew tried to take his anger out of those things but it didn't even work.
He looked at his son who was sitting on the floor, his hair messed up because of tugging on it too much and few buttons of his shirt were opened up.He really looked like a mess.
"We should talk." He said and watched Mew getting up, seeming really drained as he walked up to his father and looked at him.
"Are you going to tell me where he is?" He asked with a hoarse voice and his father just stared at him.
"Then we have nothing to talk about." He said before turning his back at his father and walking out.
-
"How do you feel?" Non asked when the boy was finally back into his room.It was probably his room since a week already passed and he kept waking up in there after losing his consciousness in the other rooms.
Gulf didn't say a word, he just turned his back at the doctor and faced the wall while laying on his bed.He never talked to him when others were around, now it was the first time they were alone but Gulf still didn't talk to him.
"Look--" Non said in a lower tone after closing the door. "--I'm sorry, it was the best option for us and--" he sighed, looking at Gulf's back and realizing the boy wasn't really interested in listening his excuses.
"Even if I would hide it for another month, they would learn it and this would happen.I thought--having me between them would be better." He said but the boy still didn't utter a word.Actually even for Non, he was acting strange.Gulf used to get aggressive easily, a lot of their meetings ended up with Non watching Mew trying to stop him from attacking someone.But he was unusually quiet, he did everything he was told and didn't even protest.He didn't react at all.
"I'm sorry, I know it's painful but really--" A nurse walked in and Non had to stop talking.
"Here, painkillers." She said, handing him a small plate and Non watched Gulf taking two pills, drinking the water she offered.He did it really fast like the pain was really bad, but his face didn't show anything or he didn't answer it when Non asked about it.He thought Gulf would also scream at his face like Mew, he was ready to face hem since he didn't mean any harm but he was also trying to help.
"It's not supposed to ache that bad." Non furrowed his eyebrows.He also knew Gulf now since Mew kept grumbling about the way younger never showed how hurt he was and Mew had to realize it by his own.Seeing his grimacing and taking the pills in a heartbeat was enough to make him understand he was hurt, badly.
But Gulf wasn't replying, he turned his back at him again and layed on the bed without giving him any answers.He thought it would get better after a while but even after another week, Gulf still ignored his existence.He wasn't talking to anyone unless the other doctors asked him something, but still Non knew younger would talk to him if the conditions were not like this.
"You shouldn't lay down for a while." Other doctor said after injecting something in his stomach and Gulf just nodded. "We will back after 30 minutes." He informed before leaving but Non didn't leave.
"Here." He took a pill from his pocket. "They are not giving you too many painkillers since it's affecting the tests, but it's okay, it will make you feel better." He said and handed it to him, the boy looked up at him for the first time and just when Non thought they could finally have a conversation, Gulf slapped his hand, causing pill to fall on the other side of his small room.
"Gulf..." The older guy looked at him with sad eyes, he really didn't want things to be like this but he had no choice.He could see how hard it was for Gulf, they were always injecting something, making him sleep, doing tests for hours and adding the stress to this physical pain, Non knew Gulf was in much more pain than he thought.
But he wasn't accepting Non's help even if it was little, he was losing weight again and right now nobody cared about it.They were focused on keeping him alive since they needed to learn what was the deal with the baby, all the kilos Mew fought so hard to make him gain were fading really fast since Gulf's state wasn't good.He didn't talk to anyone, he didn't even have time to think since he was always so exhausted cause the amount of medicine he got in him was crazy, plus their methods were not so thoughtful.Every needle and 'things' Gulf tend to not stare carefully since they terrified him, was hurting him so bad.Not just during the tests but it kept hurting for days, and when they were about to get healed, the doctors were doing them all over again.He was treated like a sample, not a person.He had dark circles under his eyes and he looked so pale, he was looking like when he was in Area C, the exact same look in his eyes.
But this time he wasn't aggressive, he was tired and hurt.
Non sighed deeply as he watched Gulf leaning his head on the wall and closing his eyes since the other doctor told him to not lay down.But he seemed really exhausted.
Non hesitated for a second, checked his watch and realized they wouldn't bother Gulf for a while since they needed to wait for medicine to work before taking few other samples from him.
He walked towards the door and locked it, causing Gulf to open his eyes.But he didn't ask him the reason, he just closed them again, like he wasn't interesting in anything Non offered.
The older guy took out his phone and called the one who was calling him nonstop till the first day they took Gulf in.
"Hello---yes, I'm with him Mew."
Gulf quickly opened his eyes and Non saw the way they changed with the mention of Mew's name, he didn't seem dead like seconds ago.
"Here." He mumbled before handing him the phone and Gulf took it without hesitating.
"Phi?"
"Gulf? Are you okay? I'm so sorry---I said nobody will take you away and they---I'm so sorry but I will fix this, okay?--I just need you to be alright----Are you okay?" Mew started to talk in his panicked tone Gulf was familiar with and it caused the boy to nod without noticing.Non felt bad at the sight, he seemed really happy while talking to him and knowing that he was like a ghost for two weeks was enough to be able to see the difference.
"It wasn't your fault." Gulf said in a low tone.
"I will get you back, we are a duo, remember?" Mew said and hearing his smile through the phone caused Gulf to snort.
"We can't be a duo, I'm technically two at the moment."
"But technically, she is still in you so we can't be a trio before she comes out."
Their usual bickering got them both chuckling.
"Are you okay?" Mew asked again. "Are they hurting you?" He asked in a tiny voice like he was afraid of the answer, already knowing it must be hurtful since his father didn't allow him to stay with Gulf cause he would definitely stop them.Gulf knew it too, he knew Mew really cared and he would be sadder if he said that he was hurt.He never said it loud anyway, it didn't change the fact that Mew knew it.Somehow he always knew it when Gulf was hurt.
"Yes, Phi." He answered with closed eyes and Non was really surprised to see a little tear drop rolling on his cheek. "It hurts--- so bad." He confessed for the first time even though he knew Mew would get sad, he just wanted to act like Mew's nong again cause he wasn't treated like that here.
Mew was quiet on the other side when Gulf sniffled, rubbing his sleeve against to his nose before taking a breath.
"Can't you just--come here?" He asked with a soft voice and Non was surprised at that, he thought younger already knew the facts and he accepted it since he never made a fuss.Gulf wasn't stupid or childish, he must've know his father wouldn't let him come.
"I didn't cause any trouble---I did everything they said." Non turned his back at the boy with that, rubbing his face and closing his eyes as he realized younger was being docile since he thought it would make Mew's father change his mind.
"But Phi---" The doctor didn't hear what Mew said on the phone but he also felt bad when he heard the way Gulf sucked a breathe in, crying softly. "--I can't take it anymore..--" his voice disappeared against to the phone, so low yet so painful.
"Okay---Yes---Yes Phi." He mumbled few words and Non had no idea what they were talking about but when he heard some footsteps, he quickly unlocked the door and took the phone from him, dropping it back to his pocket.
A nurse was back to check on his status and Non watched Gulf brushing his hair back, wiping his eyes and seeming better than minutes ago.
Actually he was a little bit confused when he left the room.He knew Mew and Gulf were close friends, he realized it from the way Mew cared about him since nobody actually cared about their mates that much, even the good ones were just good, they were not like Mew.But seeing the way Gulf only allowed Mew to see that vulnerable side of him, was really dumbfounding for him.He decided to think it was because of all the pressure, stress, pain and the medicines they give to him.Of course he would seek some comfort, not from someone who gave him away but actually from Mew, so it wasn't that weird.
But when he heard some loud voices coming from the entrance later that night, he realized it wasn't just friendship.Maybe they didn't notice it yet but Non was sure, nobody would throw everything to a side and come to face with their father just because a boy cried on the phone.Especially when their father was someone like Mr. Suppasit.
Actually Mew found where they were keeping Gulf, it took him a week.But Mild insisted about him not just rushing there since they wouldn't let him in anyway, his friend said calming down and thinking about it, trying to find a way to save Gulf from this bullshit would help more.
But Mew was done with that way after hearing the boy's voice.
Actually he didn't question it, not even a bit, he just heard the way younger sounded and he decided.Gulf wasn't going to spend another night in there, he wasn't going to let that happen.He didn't think he was acting a little bit extra just for a friend, he was already too furious, going back to his home felt so awful since he was used to have Gulf in there, looking at the half puzzle made it even worse, he wasn't even talking about the untouched cans.
He didn't calculate, didn't question or didn't think about it.
But Non was sure, they had something more than just friendship.
"Do you really want to make it like this? You already know that you won't be able to take a step in if I don't allow you." His father said, appearing behind the guys who were holding Mew back.They literally had to hold him since he tried to storm inside, punched few guys on his way until he was captured by the others.
"Let's make a deal." Mew said, causing Non to get surprised, also his dad.
"What?" Old man furrowed his eyebrows. "A deal for what?"
"A deal for you to let Gulf come back to my place." He was still struggling between the guys when his father made a hand gesture, the 4 guys quickly pulling away from the young man.
"Why do you care so much? He is just a kid and--"
"If you agree on letting him come back and stop this, I will get another mate."
Mew's father got surprised, he looked at Mew with his surprised eyes and Non was even more than surprised.He wasn't expecting something like this.
"What do you mean with stopping this?" The old man asked and Non knew he was interested.
"He will get the normal check-ups, normal medicine and everything will be normal.I will decide what's going to happen to my daughter after she is born." Mew took a step closer to his father, seeming really determined. "You are not gonna pull any other games, he is going to stay with me till the birth and we will discuss the things after birth." He said, causing his father to raise an eyebrow.
"Deal." The old guy said and Non closed his eyes, shaking his head as he watched the scene from the corridor.He knew Mew's father wouldn't let this opportunity to go, someone like him would like to have a lot of grandsons since it was the only thing that mattered in their world at the moment and he had no other legacy than Mew.But Mew being Mew, wouldn't get more than one mate and the fact that his mate was already having a girl was stressing the old man, so this was a deal he couldn't dream of.Either way he was winning.
"But I'm going to choose your mate this time." His father added and Mew just nodded, he wanted to walk further but the guys stood in front of him again.He turned at his father, raising his eyebrows and seeming really impatient.
"Let him." Mr. Suppasit said and Mew didn't waste any seconds as he walked through the corridor.
"Where is he?" He asked to Non after spotting him and Non sighed, making a gesture for Mew to follow him.
This was really getting out of control, in a strange way.