thank you guys, so so very much.
5 years after the epilogue
McDonalds chicken nuggets and some kranch. That's what I need.
Matt went to bed an hour ago, but i've been nested in the couch for the past 3 watching reruns of Bones. And boy had they been some sad ones, I'd cried at least once an episode. There was this one where this dog's owner got murdered, and that poor dog, you should have seen his face, he was just devast- I feel a sneaky tear slide down my cheek. What the heck is wrong with me? Crying over a dog who ended up going to this super wealthy owner who loved him, 2 hours after I had watched it on a fictional tv show? Ok Cam, get it together.
Now back to kranch, the sweet perfect love child of ketchup and ranch, yes it's a thing, don't come for me. Paired with the crispy golden goodness of those chicken nuggets that probably weren't made of chicken but who cares. I started to tear up again, they just sounded so good.
That's it, I lugged myself off the couch, my knees stiffer than normal, and grabbed my keys off the hook by the garage door as I made my way out. The car started and I was backing out before I even thought about texting Matt to let him know where I was going.
Kranch was calling, be back soon. Love you
He knows what I mean, bless that boy. We've been married for four years now and it's been an absolute dream. Not perfect, we've had a fight or two, but love is a choice. You choose to work through your issues and you choose every single day to love and work to be with your person. I'm just one of the lucky ones who got someone who makes all of that easier to do.
We both had jobs now, wow such adults. Matt is an architectural consultant for the big firms in the city, a passion he found while in college. And I am a freelance artist and part-time museum curator. We moved to Washington the year after we got married, and we now live on our own little slice of land in a small town right outside Seattle. It's the perfect mixture of rural privacy and big city possibilities. We miss our families of course, they still live next to each other back in Colorado, but we try to visit as much as we can. Which is fairly often considering we both get to work from home.
The warm yellow glow of the Mc'Donalds appears in the windshield and I nearly sigh in contentment. Oh sweet Micky D's.
But then everything goes terribly wrong.
As i'm pulling into the lot my heart plummets, my eyes tear up, my breathing stops, I've never been so upset in my life. The sobs start in earnest.
The Mc'Donalds is closed for repairs. Closed for repairs!! How dare they be closed, my kranch! My precious chicken nuggets!
I'm crying so hard I can barely see my phone as I unlock it with shaking hands and hit call.
"Cam??" Matt's voice is a groggy croak, and I start crying even harder because I woke him up.
"Ma-Matt." My voice sounds horrible, like i've been smoking for 20 years, and I sniffle into the phone as I curl against the door and cry some more.
"Cam what's wrong!?" His voice is alert now, I can even picture him shooting up in bed at my voice, pulling on clothes and shoes, "Where are you?! I'm coming!"
There are some heavy thuds as I guess he fumbles his way through the house to get to his car.
"No", a long sniffle, "I'm fine, don't come." But even I can tell through the rushing in my ears that I don't sound convincing. I clear my throat and try again, "I just wanted some Kranch."
"Mc'Donalds got it, i'm on my way." I don't try to argue anymore. I hear the engine of his car start and he's mumbling soft words to me as he makes his way into town.
It's about a 10 minute drive to Mc'Donalds from our house, but Matt pulls in in just under 7. He's out of the car and opening my door before I even realize he hung up when he pulled in.
"Cam what's wrong? Are you hurt? Is anyone here? What's going on?" He's checking me over with every question, looking for injuries. And that's when the laughing starts. At first it's a small giggle, but soon it's a full out cackle. I shove my hand over my mouth but the laughs still escape, even as soft tears still fall down my cheeks.
Matt looks so confused I can practically see the question marks.
"I just wanted-" A laugh, "-I just wanted some chicken nuggets and kranch." A snort, "Like really really bad, and then it-" the tears get a little harder, "but it was CLOSED!"
I don't even know if I'm laughing or crying at this point. My emotions are so all over the place I can't even think straight.
"Cam..." He's looking slightly less confused and slightly more concerned. "What's going on?"
I slap my legs hard with my hands, the laughter and the tears stop. Just like that.
"I don't know!" And I freeze in shock. I'm not a yeller, i'm not a crier. And I just did more of both than I've done in the past year.
"I feel like your crazy cousin Mary when she was-" Shock. Wait one gosh darn minute.
Matt's eyes meet mine and I can see the moment my words make sense to him.
"Wait are you-"
"I don't know!"
"Well let's find out!"
"Oook!"
Matt and I had talked about kids since before we got married. But the conversations had gotten a little more frequent the past year. We'd decided this would probably be a good time to start trying. We had solid, financially stable, providing jobs. A great house and community, a good school system. We'd had four solid years of wedded bliss, and we both wanted kids. But even though we had decided now would be a good time, we hadn't exactly been upping our game in the baby making department.
But I knew something had been missing these past couple months, bloody hell... literally.
We left my car at the Mc'Donalds and Matt drove like a mad man to the nearest Wal-Mart, luckily not closed for repairs. Stupid Mc'Donalds.
Neither of us had ever bought pregnancy tests before so that was an adventure in itself. We decided to get one of each, even the $30 one and the 50 cent, even though I couldn't believe that could be in any way reliable. Self checkout was a blur and before I knew it we were buzzing in anticipation and pulling into the house. My car forgotten in the excitement.
12 pregnancy test boxes littered our bathroom floor as I pushed Matt outside the door.
"I've got to pee on like 12 sticks you can wait outside." He huffed, but sank to the floor and leaned against the wall right beside the door and I closed myself in.
It's really a good think I'd been binge drinking milk while watching my Bones reruns, or else those 12 sticks would have been a real challenge. As it is, I'm thinking we could have bought two of each.
I laid all the sticks side by side on the counter, gross, remind me to wash that later, and shut the door behind me as I sank down next to Matt.
"The longest wait time on the boxes was 10 minutes, so I say we just check all of them then." I lean my head against his shoulder as I speak, and I can practically feel him humming with excitement.
I've wanted kids for so long, it's been a dream of mine forever, and I know Matt has too. This could be it, and even though a negative just means we try again, I just can't imagine it being anything but positive. Our little family could be growing.
"Cam." He pauses for a moment and wraps his arm around my shoulder. "I love you so much."
And just those words remind me that even if it's negative, it will be ok. Matt and I are a family already, a baby would just be a new blessing. A wonderful addition to our little world.
"I love you too." I sit there with my head against his shoulder, his arm wrapped warmly around me, his hand running softly up and down my arm and I wish those words could convey just how much I mean them.
This man next to me... well he made my life amazing. I didn't need him to complete me, or to save me, but I was blessed with having him with me to go through life. He makes everyday brighter, makes our home warmer, makes me excited to live and have a future, one where we are together. Love just seems too simple a word for all of that.
Beep Beep.
I thought time was supposed to be molasses slow when you're waiting for something, that was the quickest 10 minutes of my lif-
"Geez, that took forever" Matt practically shoots off the floor the second the first beep is heard. He pulls me up so fast I swear I get whiplash and we stumble into the bathroom.
"Wait we need the boxes" I don't think Matt hears me, but I rush back into the bedroom to scoop up the boxes so we know what each test says. Why they can't make all the tests have the same signs, I don't know.
Matt is literally bouncing on his toes and shaking his fisted hands in front of him as I make my way down the line, matching up each box to it's test. I stop short when I get to the one that has clear written words.
Positive
Ok Cam stay calm, you have to check the others first.
I make my way down the row, saying the result out loud as I go. Each time I speak I swear Matt squeals. Geez who's the man in this relationship? Kidding, stereotypical relationship gender roles are for losers.
12 tests, 12 results.
12 positives. Even the crappy little 50 cent test that looks like it was made by a kindergartener at craft time shines with a bright resounding positive.
My eyes get hot, my face scrunches up, and my hands fly to my mouth. The tears fill my eyes and I have to blink hard so I can see Matt when I turn to face him.
He's crying too, his face so radiant with joy that a happy sob escapes past my hands. I tackle him in a hug, and I can feel his shoulders shaking even as his laughs are filled with warmth and amazement.
This is it. I can't even begin to explain the joy that bubbles up inside of me. The utter pride and love and overall awe that floods through me, a hot molten warmth that travels through my body and curls itself around my bones. I step back from Matt and my hands come up to rest on my belly. Matt's hands come to rest on mine and his shining, teary eyes meet mine. So joyous my smile gets even wider.
"We're having a baby."
All I can do is nod... and smile a little wider.
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Thank you guys, I can't express how thankful I am.
1 Million reads, that is actually undeniably insane.