(Jesse's POV)
Waking up to Adrian in my arms is something I never want to give up. It feels right and we are meant to be together. Staring down at his beautiful sleeping face, I feel my heart swell with happiness. The only thing I don't like is the large hickey Hector left on Adrian's neck. I don't like it because I feel like he was trying to mark Adrian as if he is a possession to him when he isn't. I hate that Hector hurt him, but what I hate the most is that Adrian doesn't want me to go after him.
He is worried that I will get hurt and he believes he isn't worth getting hurt over. But he is wrong; he is worth it. I know I might get my ass beat by Hector, but I don't care. He is worth the ass beating I'm bound to get when he finds out Adrian is with me. I push back his hair as I plant a kiss on his lips. He moans softly as he smiles in his sleep. I think I could spend all day watching him sleep. I slowly move away from him. He stirs some before hugging one of my pillows. I smile one more time before I walk out of my room. I walk into the kitchen and start making breakfast. I am halfway done when my dad walks into the kitchen.
"Morning son," he says as he pours himself a cup of coffee. "So I can't help, but notice that Adrian's car in still in the driveway." He casually says as he sips his coffee.
I smile at my dad and go back to making breakfast.
"So is there something you want to tell me?"
"Um, nope. I don't think so dad." I say.
"So there is no reason why Adrian spent the night?"
I shake my head.
"You're really not going to tell me then?"
I chuckle as I turn off the stove.
"Okay, dad if you must know, as of last night Adrian and I are dating." I turn around and smile at him, he starts to laugh.
"So wait when did he break up with his boyfriend?"
"Yesterday, they got into a huge argument and Adrian told him he had enough."
"Wow, and then, how did you end up getting together?"
"Well, when he came over yesterday he told me about the argument he had with Hector. Apparently it was about me, Hector accused Adrian of liking me more than a friend. When I asked him if he did, he said yes and kissed me." I smile thinking about what happened last night.
"Well son I'm happy for you. You deserve to be happy after everything you have been through, so you told him about everything you have been through?"
I shake my head.
"Why haven't you?"
"It is just so bad, you and Emmy cried while I told you. I just know Adrian is going to be the same way. I just don't want to see him cry for something that has already happened. I don't want him to feel pity for me or see me as someone who is weak." My eyes start to water as my dad gets up and hugs me.
"Jesse what you went through doesn't make you weak, if anything it has made you a stronger person. Your mother is the weak one; she thought she could take all her frustration out on you. Just so she would feel better about herself." My dad says while he hugs me tight. "Do you like Adrian?"
I nod my head.
"Then, you have to tell him, I'm not saying you have to tell him today, but soon."
I know he is right, if I want this to work with Adrian. I am going to have to let him in even into my past that I wish I could just try and forget about.
"I know dad, I just need more time on how to explain it to him."
"I know son, but just don't wait too long. You don't want him to feel like you don't trust him. If you ever need help we are here for you."
"Thanks dad." I say as we release each other from hugging each other.
I load up plates with the breakfast I made and pass one to my dad. I then grab a tray and load the other two along with two glasses of orange juice.
"Well dad if you will excuse me, but I have a boyfriend I need to wake up and feed."
I pick up the tray and start to walk out before my dad stops me.
"Whoa, why can't you two just eat breakfast in here?" He asks.
I don't really want to go into details about what Hector did to Adrian. I am not even sure if he even wants my dad and Emmy to know.
"Because I want to be romantic and having breakfast in bed is very romantic." I am hoping that he will believe this and just let me go.
"Well, son didn't know you are the romantic type. You keep that up, you're never going to be able to get rid of him." He chuckles as he ruffles my hair.
"Well, I do plan on keeping him around for as long as I can. So please excuse me, so that I may bring my boyfriend his breakfast."
My dad laughs as he steps aside and lets me walk by. I walk up to my room and balance the tray on one hand while I open the door. I smile as I see my cute boyfriend sitting up and stretching his arms. My clothes hang loosely on his body and he has a serious case of bedhead; to me he is still the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. I can really get use to seeing him like this. If it wasn't for the tray of food in my hand, I would have pounced him.
"Good morning. I hope you're hungry." I sit down next to him and place the tray in front of us.
He turns to face me and smiles as he tries to fix his hair. "Good morning. Yes, I'm starving." He leans over and kisses me on the cheek. "Thank you, and you didn't have to go through all this trouble." He says as he looks down at the plate I handed him.
"I know, but I wanted to, that is what a good boyfriend does."
I give him a peck on the lips before I start to eat. I look over at Adrian as he cuts up his pancakes and sausage. He then grabs the syrup and pours it all over them. One thing I have learned about Adrian is he hates using a fork. This makes it bad for me, because he constantly has his fingers in his mouth, which means all I can think about is what it will be like if his mouth was around something other than his fingers. He is making it hard to eat and if I don't look away right now, little Jesse is about to pop out.
"You know you keep feeding me like this I might never leave." He says as he starts to suck off the syrup on his fingers.
Shit too late, little Jesse just popped up. Ugh, I need to run to the bathroom and take care of this.
"Well that's kind of the point, so anyway I'm just going to jump into the shower. You can finish eating while I do that."
I try to think about a way of getting up without him noticing the bulge in my sweatpants. He just nods his head as he continues to eat. I quickly get up and use the moment to grab some clothes and run into the bathroom. Once I get inside the bathroom I let out a sigh of relief. Adrian is going to be the death of me. I turn on the shower and jump in. Once I am dressed I walk out the bathroom and I find Adrian in my closet. I sneak behind him and wrap my arms around his waist as he lets out a girly shriek.
"Oh my god don't do that." He says as he turns around to face me.
I lean in and kiss him, "so you plan on stealing some of my clothes?"
"Well would you prefer I walk around naked?" He asks.
"I wouldn't mind. Just as long as you stayed here in my room, where only I can see you."
He rolls his eyes and pushes me away. "Yeah I know you wouldn't, but I have already spent my fair share of hiding in a bedroom." He walks up closer to me. "Besides, I like wearing your clothes. Hector never let me wear any of his not even a t-shirt." He kisses me and walks to the bathroom closing the door behind him.
All I know is I am going to make sure whatever Hector never did for Adrian, I am going to do it. I walk into the kitchen with our dirty dishes and start to clean up the kitchen. Just as I am finishing up my dad and Emmy walk in and sit down at the counter.
"So I hear Adrian spent the night." She says.
"Um, yeah I hope you don't mind. I know I should have asked."
"Don't worry about it. I told you Adrian is always welcomed here." They laugh at me and I roll my eyes. "So I also hear you two are now dating, how does it feel to finally have him as your boyfriend?"
"Like I'm on cloud nine right now."
"Well that's great, you two really deserve to be happy and it seems like you two will be happy together." Emmy says as she hugs me.
"Now if you will please excuse me, I'm going to go see if Adrian is ready."
I walk back to my room just as Adrian is walking out of the bathroom. Leave it up to him to find the only pair of skinny jeans I own and my "I'm a smart cookie" t-shirt. I have to admit he looks good, but I think he would look good to me in anything.
"So what do you feel like doing today?" I ask as I walk over to him and put my arm around his shoulder.
"Um, I'm not sure. I would still like to take your dad up on that offer of just hanging out. Remember, I still want to know about all your embarrassing moments." Adrian says as he kisses me.
"I still don't like this idea, but if that's what you want, then so be it." I say as I bow to him.
He giggles. "You're such a goofball, but you're my goofball in tinfoil."
"Goofball in tinfoil, why can't I be your knight in shining armor?"
"Knights are serious and you sir are not. Besides, I prefer a goofball in tinfoil over a knight in shining armor any day." He kisses me on the cheek and smiles at me.
Yes, I am certain I will never get tired of seeing his smiling face.
"Alright then, I shall be your goofball in tinfoil." I bow again and stick out my hand for him to grab. Then, I kiss his hand and pull him closer to me.
"So are you ready to get to know my crazy dad?"
He nods his head and we head downstairs.
We are walking down the aisles of the supermarket getting everything on the list. My dad thought it a nice enough day to grill steaks outside. I love my dad and all, but he just isn't the best when it comes to cooking.
"What else do we need from the list besides the steaks?" I ask Adrian as we pass down the aisle of bread. I stop and grab a package of hot dog buns and throw them in the cart.
"That's not on the list and we only need the steaks." Adrian replies.
"I know, but I told you my dad isn't a good cook and you will thank me later." We walk by the deli case and I grab a package of franks before heading to the fresh meat. I look at the steaks and grab what we need. "So do you want to get anything else before we check out?"
"Ice cream. I want Ben & Jerry chunky monkey." Adrian says.
"Ice cream it is."
We walk over to the frozen food section and grab the ice cream we want and head off to the checkout line. We are getting the baked potatoes and salad ready while my dad and Emmy get the grill going. I watch as they mess with it and smile. I really did wish they would get together. They seem so perfect for each other.
"What are you smiling about?" Adrian asks as he looks at me.
"My dad and Emmy, I just wish that they would get together. You can see there is something between them. Then, he could move here and we can be a happy family."
"Jesse, why did your parents get a divorce? You don't have tell me if you don't want too."
I place the potatoes in the oven and grab his hand. "Come with me and I will tell you everything."
Adrian sits on my bed as I pace in front of him; I have been doing that for the past ten minutes. I don't know where to start. I don't know if it will be too much for him to take in.
"Jesse can you stop with the pacing? You're making me dizzy just watching you."
"Sorry," I sit down next to him.
He places his hand on my thigh and turns my head to face him. "You don't have to tell me anything if you're not ready."
"I know, but I want too. If we are going to be together you need to know everything I have been through. I just don't want to scare you away with what I'm about to tell you."
"Whatever it is, I can handle it." He smiles to reassure me; I just hope he is right.
"The first thing you should know is I'm not an only child. I have or had a younger sister named Holly. I lied about being an only child because about a year ago she went missing. To this day, we don't know what ever happened to her. Everyone just assumes she is dead, but I don't, which makes me feel even worse about it." I swallow the lump that is forming in my throat; I am not about to break down in front of Adrian.
"Why would it make you feel worse about it?"
"It's my fault she is gone. I was supposed to pick her up from school that day and I didn't because I was stupid. I let a dumb girl come before my sister and now Holly is gone. And there isn't anything I can do to change that."
"Is this dumb girl your cheating ex-girlfriend?"
I nod my head.
"What happened that you forget to pick her up?"
I take a deep breath and tell him about how Alyson told me she was pregnant and how she tried to pin it on me when we only had sex one time. How I was with her while she got the abortion. The tears start to fall, no matter how hard I try to hold them back I can't. Adrian wraps his arms around me and holds me as I cry, whispering in my ear, everything is alright.
"Jesse it's not your fault. How could you have known that was going to happen? You can't keep blaming yourself." He pulls back and cups my face as his thumbs wipes away my tears. "You didn't know you were going to be late, things just happen sometimes."
"But it is my fault and my mom made sure to remind me every day."
I tell him about the first time she hit me and every time after that. How she made sure to drill it into my head that I'm the reason Holly is gone and how it is my fault my dad left her.
"Now you see why it is hard for me to believe it isn't my fault, especially when you have someone telling you it is and you're just a waste of space."
I look up at Adrian and see he has started to cry as well. His eyes are filled with sadness as he listens to me.
"The worst part about all this is, I got so depressed about it and I had no one I could turn to. My mom hates me. I had no friends and my dad was never around because his girlfriend doesn't like me. I avoided going to his place as much as I could." I start to roll up my sleeves and show Adrian my arms.
"The reason I always wear long sleeves and I don't like for anyone to see me without a shirt; I used to cut because it was better to feel that pain than the guilt I felt because I'm the reason Holly is gone. Then, when I found out my ex was nothing, but a cheating whore I made these cuts." I point to the large scars across both my wrist.
Adrian runs his fingers over the scars and the tears start to fall.
"I tried to kill myself because I couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of my mom, people from school, and just plain out tired of knowing I'm still alive when I don't know what has become of Holly. I would have succeeded hadn't my dad showed up that day and found me in time. After that happened, he started to see me more often. Then, he found out about what had really been going on at home. That is the reason I was sent here; to get away from my mom and to get help."
I leave out the part about my mom cutting me before I came here; he already thinks she is a monster. There is no need to say more about what she has done.
"Jesse, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that alone." Adrian straddles my lap as he wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my neck. "God, you are a strong person, to go through all that and still put on a smile like nothing is wrong. The first time I met you I would have never guessed you had been through all this, you hid it so well."
"When you have no one to tell your problems, you become pretty good at pretending nothing is wrong." He looks at me and I cup his face in my hands, I wipe away the tears. "I'm sorry I made you cry, that was one of the reasons I didn't want to tell you. I hate to see you cry for something that is in my past. For something that is done and over with, I just want to move on past all the horrible things I have been through."
"Never be afraid to tell me about anything. I won't ever judge you. Your past is what makes you the person you are today. You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, and when you smile, I smile. We are together now and whatever you are going through I'm going to be by your side because I know you will do the same thing for me." He reaches out and caresses my cheek, "I know I'm crazy for saying this so soon, but I love you Jesse. Since I first saw you I couldn't get you out of my head and I'm glad I couldn't."
He leans down and kisses me, slipping his tongue into my mouth as we fight for control. He breaks the kiss and stares into my eyes.
"I love you too Adrian." I say as he smiles at me.
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