Nine exams. Nine victims. Preparations were underway.
I sat at my desk and observed everybody as they moved around conversing- possibly sharing stories of their last stress-free weekend for the next month. These were my classmates of four years, so you can imagine how weird it was having to choose who goes and who stays (or rather, lives). They were equally vain and annoying, yet somehow this was slowly becoming the hardest decision of my life.
The trick was to kill people who were not too close to Brenda, which automatically ruled out AJ (unfortunately), but at the same time, children whose parents were not rich enough to hire a private investigator to muck things up. It would have also been pretty good to get a neglected child, maybe someone from an improper foster home. The question was: did any of these idiots milling around me match the requirements.
AJ came to my desk unexpectedly, snatching the Victim Journal out of my hands.
"Nominees?" he mocked, "What's this for? Some award show you and your little dolls are going to have at your princess tea party?"
"Piss off, Aubrey," I dared to respond, my mind somehow aware of Brenda's absence from the room. This weekend had somewhat changed me. Ordinary Leon would never have spoken back.
"Everybody," he announced, "I just found Leo's diary! How about we have a look then? Are you with me?"
People cheered eagerly from all corners of the room (I told you they were vain!) and he got up on a desk to 'read'. I added the quotation marks to make it very clear to you that there was really nothing in that book! The sole word in that book was NOMINEES, at the top of the first page. Yet by some unknown force, AJ "found" an entire paragraph to read.
"Dear Diary," he said, adding a dramatic slur for effect.
"Give it back!" I fumed, but obviously from up on the table it was way too high for me to snatch it from him. Apart from that, I knew I generally stood no physical chance against him so I was going to avoid an actual fight at all costs.
"Come on, Aubrey. Don't be such a jerk!"
People laughed, because they had heard that high-pitched squeak come out of me. I know little girls who sound manlier that I did in that moment. Aubrey- Jay went on as if he hadn't heard me.
"Tea-party tonight with Flo and Gertrude. I'm honestly mortified! What if I spill tea on my gown? I can't write more though, I would totally die if Brenda's Ziezey found out about this diary-"
The trigger was pulled. I don't know where the acceleration came from, but I leapt approximately an inch off the ground and snatched my journal angrily. I marched out of the room while a buzz of laughter awoke behind me. There was the slightest trace of moisture in the rims of my eyes that I didn't want even Charlie to see. My trudge maintained velocity until I was safe in a toilet cubicle. It reeked of urine in there, but it was better than sitting in class, allowing myself to be mocked by imbeciles.
Someone else came into the bathroom and I heard the spray of their irrigation against the enamel surface of the urinal. I hated those things with a violent passion: peeing in the open like savages? Seriously? The trickle stopped and something slid towards me from under the door. It was a copy of Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.
"Got you a gift, Barbie," Asa's voice said from the other side of the door.
"Go to hell, Jericho!"
I kicked the book out.
Just to be clear, I was though the Princess Diaries to be a riveting read, but I would kill myself if Asa ever knew that.
"How about you come out here and face me, sissy. Or would you rather hang out in there and cry all day?"
I was prepared to hang out where I was and melt into the tiles. But my uncle had always told me I would have to stand up to bullies one way or another, so I risked opening the door. Asa grabbed me the moment he saw me, his rough hands gripping the collar of my shirt as if his intention was to rip it off my back completely. He dragged me out and flung me across the room effortlessly. I hit my head on the rim of the urinal furthest from the door- a dangerous corner. My brain seemed to crack open as pain washed through me. I didn't even have a chance to stand up before he picked me up again.
This time, his fingers dug into my tiny kinks and forced my head backwards to look up at him.
"Leon Zuberi," he spat, "Aren't you going to answer?"
I was too frightened to respond.
"Not so manly now are we? You should have stayed hidden in that little stall, where scum like you belong. It was much safer there."
He pulled my head further back, so that the aching in my neck muscles worsened.
"Understand?"
I nodded twitchily, his lips curly into a sick smile. He let go of my hair and punched me square in the face. Blood dripped from the corner of my mouth but there was no time to wipe it away. He grabbed me under the armpit, lifting me roughly so that I would face the urinal.
"Lick it," he ordered.
I thought of all the bacteria on that surface.
"No," came my reply, exhausting the diminutive amount of bravery that lingered in my core.
"What did you say to me?"
He spoke right into my ear, his attempt to scare me further successful.
"I said no, Asa."
He kicked the backs of my knees, so that they buckled and he shoved my face directly onto the enamel. My cheeked was squashed against the cool surface.
"You wanna leave right? Lick it and I'll let you go."
He towered above me, his face twisted in annoyance. That was it. I wielded. My mouth opened and the tip of my tongue made its way tentatively. The whole thing tasted like salt.
Oh, zombies in graves, why me?!
Asa laughed and let go. The bell rang right on cue and disappeared to classing, leaving me along in the lavatory. I stood there in shock, my heart still racing while I massaged my neck. Taking my time, I put my tongue under the Fawcett and ran the water, trying to wash away the taste of adolescent urine. It wasn't working. Rage filled me from the crown to the soles of my shoes. I spat in the sink and it was washed away quickly.
The scream that projected from my lips held anger and whatever this confused mess that was crammed inside of my lanky body was. I was late for class and although I was alone, the Princess Diaries novel still mocked me from its place on the floor.
But then again... Why did Asa move around a girly teen romance book around?
Who was the dork now?
╸╸╸
I only got a real moment to myself in the library during my free period before lunch. How was it that I still had nobody to kill?
My pen hovered the page. The word 'Nominees' had been crossed out for embarrassing me and replaced with 'VICTIMS'. I had a bit of juice, still going on with my futile efforts to rid my taste buds of the saline sensation. Damn that boy, I cursed to myself. I'll finish what he started, the bastard. I wrote under the title:
1. Asa Griffith Jericho
Somebody came up behind me and I hastened to shut the book.
"Hi," Kusano's voice said, pulling up a chair next to me. I reciprocated the casual salutation but without an ounce of enthusiasm.
"Well," she went on, "I just wanted to say. I think it's cool that you keep a diary."
"Really," I whispered, waiting for her to break into crazy laughter and mocking. But she didn't.
"Yeah," she reassured me, grazing my hand with hers.
This was the first time my heart had ever fluttered for someone who wasn't Brenda in four years. Maybe Kusano was not so bad after-all? My stomach was doing summersaults.
She pulled her chair closer to and put a hand on my cheek, stroking the wound next to my mouth. Her skin was cooler than I expected, sending a ripple through me.
"Are you okay, Leon?"
"Been better, to be honest."
"What happened?"
"Asa."
Her eyes raked over me before she said her next words:
"This wasn't about Brenda was it?"
"Well-" I started, but the subject herself happened to walk into the room, stopping me short.
It was HER!
And it turned out she wanted to speak to me too.
"Leon," she said, in a way that made it seem like us talking was the most normal thing in the world.
I took a second too long to glance away from Kusano, however, and I caught sight of Brenda's face with her eyebrows raised sceptically. She was already jumping to conclusions about out. This could compromise everything, but I was not about to let things get ruined when I finally found a way of fulfilling my life's goal. I held Kusano's hand and lowered it from my face. She smiled at me nervously, before glaring at Brenda. Their eyes met in fierce contest.
Now I'm not a genius when it comes to lady facts, but this was really simple to comprehend. They were giving each other The Look- a way of looking at each other that only the most developed adolescents could ever master. It was the mark of a serious fight for dominance in a social situation like this one.
"Am I disturbing something?" she regarded me, "We can always talk later if you're busy."
"Yeah," Kusano said.
"Actually, no," I countered, standing up.
Kusano may have given me chills for five minutes but Brenda was the Love of My Life. Chances like this were rare.
Kusano looked at me desperately, trying to guilt me into staying:
"But we were talking."
"Past tense," I replied, picking up my book and advancing towards Brenda.
She smiled at Kusano victoriously, before turning to speak to me. She indicated for us to walk and began her statement uncomfortably.
"So, Leon. I was wondering if you could help me with something. I know this is going to be super weird for you, but I really need this one favour from you. I mean, I totally get it if you don't want to. I'm not sure I would do it if it were me..." she rambled, her hands fidgeting.
"Brenda," I said, stopping her midway, "Whatever it is, just say it. I'm prepared to do pretty much whatever."
She stared up at me for a second, caught up in her own thoughts, and before she managed to speak again, the lunch bell resonated through the school. Oh, zombies-in-graves, why now? The sonorous peels ricocheted off the library walls and into our ears.
"Damn. I have to go. But later, yeah?" she confirmed, already backing away.
"Yeah. Yeah, sure," I agreed, and then she waved and left the library in a rush probably off to find her friends.
╸╸╸
My stomach was still practicing acrobatics inside of me by the time I found Charles. A couple times along the way, I had nearly regurgitated all over the floor but I had made it nonetheless. I told him everything about what had happened, with, of course, extra exciting trimmings of false information.
"Wow!" he exclaimed, when I had gone through it all. "Congratulations, pal. You've managed to start a war between the Spawn of Satan and the Ice Queen herself! Looks to me like you're turning to a real baller, Leon."
I rolled my eyes at his sardonic tone- clearly he did not believe a word of what I was saying. It was strange, though, because his voice had strained when he said 'Ice Queen', almost of as if he hadn't wanted to say it. Maybe this had something to do with the time he had spent having dinner with her and her family. Was Charlie going to turn on me?
"Do you think they would actually, you know, fight?"
"Well," he said, "Kusano definitely would, but Brenda seems a little too cool for that."
There. He had used her real name.
But then again, this whole serial killer thing had me on edge. I was becoming far too alert and analytical for my own good. Right now, all I had to do was wait until Brenda Ziezey came to ask for her favour and become her knight in shining armour.
I got out a marker and wrote on my wrist: PROGRESS- because that is exactly what I was making, or at least I thought so.
Lunch was meant to be had in the dining hall, but Charlie and I sometimes spent our hour on the lawn behind out classroom. There was nobody to judge us out here and the air only slightly reeked of adolescents. It was one of our favourite spots- something like a best friend assembly point- although it turned a little gross at the beginning of the year when snails dominated.
Charlie lay back on the itchy plants, his head under the shade of one of the window sills. He stared up at the sky dreamily, his lips slightly parted in a dazed expression. He definitely was not expecting yoghurt to spill on him from the window above- which, just to be clear, it did.
"What the-!" he exclaimed, jolting upright as the yellow substance landed on his face. Some of it must have even gone up his nose, judging from the way he was reacting. "What the hell is wrong with you? Who is that?"
He got to his feet and looked through the window. It was a very bitter girl, who I usually like to describe as a spiteful woman, by the name Zulaikah Bigvai. She was doubled over with a severe case of the giggles. I laughed a little too at first, but then Charlie finished wiping his face and looked at me in a way that suggested that he might just kill me. Even an idiot like me knew it was smarter to shut up.
Charlie circled around the block to get to class, leaving me behind. I followed, interested in what was about to transpire. He entered class furiously, and I had to catch the door before it slammed in my face. He was not usually short tempered, but lately the pressure of exams was weighing down on him. I could hear him breathing angrily ahead of me, his hands balled into large fists.
"Can you grow up for once, Zulaikah, "he growled, regarding the girl who seemed totally unbothered by him or what she had just done.
"Your head was just at the wrong place at the wrong time, Charlie."
He shoved her backwards, so that her back slammed against the wall between two windows, but she kept laughing. When she realised she was the only who found it amusing, Zulaikah turned her head and spat out the window like a cowboy, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She steadied herself, made about a second of eye-contact with each of us and said:
"This is pathetic."
"You're the one still pulling kindergarten pranks," Charles countered.
"I am, Chuck. But that's not what I was talking about. I was referring to you little duo in general."
"What about us?" I asked, troubled by a surge of insecurity.
"Well, word has it that Chuck here's been gloating about the dinner he had with the Ziezeys this weekend. But in case it escaped his notice, that's nothing to brag about. Brenda's just another harlot who tries to get every guy's hopes up before she moves on to the next."
"Brenda's not a harlot," I objected feebly.
"Oh, shut up. You're defending her because you've got the hearts for her and you're just too sissy to admit it to her straight up. You know it, I know it and so does she. Am I wrong to say she's been asking for favours? Yeah? Because she uses people like you, Leon. And you probably think Kusano is interested in you too by now, don't you? She held your hand, maybe caressed you face a little and made you feel special? Come on, man! Be real with yourself! That's a dare she got from Asa and AJ this morning."
"You're lying."
She spat out the window, pushing past us like she owned the place.
"She's not lying," Charlie said, once she had left the room. "She just doesn't know how to mind her own business.
Had he just implied she was telling the truth? And then he added:
"Honestly, she needs to go die."
"Yeah, " I agreed with my best friend, but my mind was now elsewhere.
I thought of Kusano; how my stomach had swarmed with butterflies at first; the shy blush I had identified on her face. All a lie? So it seemed. AJ and Asa probably hoped that by giving her this dare they could shift my focus from Brenda to Kusano. They were trying to take me away from the Love of My Life.
I would have nothing to do with Kusano from then onwards.
And Zulaikah?
To me, the bringer of bad news is just as guilty.
_ _ _ _ _
Hey! Comment DIARY if you think it's totally acceptable for boys to keep a diary. If not, feel free to share why. Remember to like and share!
xoxo
~Courtney