(A/N: hi. i really didn't think anyone on wp would see this story, it was just for me to rant about jurdan in a non-ranty way and maybe get some of my friends to read it, so...thank you! also: this fan fic will proobbbabbllyyyy be finishing up in...5-7 chapters? Don't trust me on that, though. It could be shorter or longer, depending on how many details i have and how "complete" i want my ending to be.
but yk, now that i've started writing, i can't stop. (god that sounded stupid and cringey.) so i'm prbly going to be writing an elriel (?? elainxazriel?? elzriel? ahh idgaf) fanfic and a solangelo fanfic. maybe some six of crows ships too?
mayybbeeee a rowaelin fanfic. but pls don't get your hopes up. i might get traumatized by some future hate and never be seen again or something.
but i do love writing and the comments the few of you give me put a stupidly huge smile on my face, so thank you! i am writing a book (realllyyy long, been doing it since 4th grade) outside of wp, if i haven't mentioned yet.
well...that got longer than i wanted it to. one last thing. guys, please stay home. do some yoga in your living room or read or repaint your kitchen (my parents) or really anything. and I KNOW YOU'VE HEARD IT A THOUSAND TIMES. I HAVE TOO. but it's important.
by now, i'm just stalling, so please comment and vote and be happy people or whatever. thank you! also, i apologize for the cliffhanger. but i updated real soon, so...heh.)
Madoc. Really here. In front of me. I am virtually unguarded. Bryern. Probably here to do his dirty work. I wrench my wrist away from his nimble-fingered hands.
"What do you want." My voice is hard and flat, a guise I've gotten better at.
Madoc smiles again, more like a baring of his teeth. "Oh, Jude. Is that how you're going to talk to your father?"
Before I could retort that he was also my parents' murderer, he says, "Well. Adoptive father, anyway."
Then his voice turns serious. "Oriana wants Taryn back." How he knows that is beyond me. Messengers, spies, Bryern, etc. So many influences he still has.
"She isn't here."
"Find her, then. I'm sure you know where she is."
"Oriana can get to Taryn herself."
"You know Taryn, and you know Oriana."
I hesitate. This could be a ruse, something to make me believe he cares about this Oriana-wants-Taryn situation when really, he's shooting for something else. If Oriana wanting Taryn wasn't important to him, then...he must know that I would never give Taryn up to Oriana, and whatever he's going to ask in price for Taryn is going to be...
Long story short, I'm going to be caught between a rock and a hard place.
But I did know where Taryn was. Back at either the palace or Madoc's estate. She doesn't have an estate yet. Or maybe she bought herself one, considering the wealth she got from me and Locke. Not to mention her already full bank account. But...yes. I do know.
And more importantly, I can get into Elfhame.
"Why don't you just get him over there to fetch her for you?" A taunt, but also a question.
He looks at Bryern, and hesitates. A look fleets over his face, and then it's gone. "Because it's so much better for me to make you feel worse than you would when you discover what I'm going to be asking in price of you not giving Taryn over to me, and what you will be able to keep if you hand over the sniveling, wretched girl."
Something else is going on here. Madoc has something on the line. He's standing perfectly still, not moving an inch. Tell. I rack my brain. I know I'm going in to a trap.
"Do tell."
"If you don't give me Taryn..." A malicious smile. "I will take Oak."
"No you won't."
Before he can speak, I push on. "So if I don't give Taryn, you'll take Oak. If I do give Taryn, you'll...take Taryn. It's lose lose."
"Yes it is, girl. But you don't have a choice."
The world spun. Once again, I was trapped by a lying, cruel faerie who gave bargains that could not be flipped to my advantage. But more importantly, once again, I am a novice, a little wretch who doesn't know the way of bargain and burden. Not a Faerie Queen. Not an aspiring soldier. But who I always become in front of Madoc. A little girl, parents killed, with a sulky older sister and a twin sister. A girl who has known nothing.
I look Madoc in the eye. "Yes, I do have a choice."
"And what is that?"
I take a deep breath. I don't think I can do this. "If you take Oak, I'll kill Oriana."
Madoc's eyes flit once again to Bryern, then shows a flash of fear at what he just heard. Eyes. Your tell.
"So you're telling me...you're not going to give me Taryn. And on top of that, if I take Oak, you'll kill my innocent wife."
Nod.
He sneers. "Then. What is something you want?"
"Peace." The answer blurts out of my mouth and I curse myself, saying the truth to someone who wants to take my sister and will take my step-brother in punishment for refusal.
Madoc's voice drops deadly quiet. "You were always too...mortal for the Faerie world, Jude. Do not dare think yourself as someone outgrown of it. In your reign, Elfhame will not change in the slightest. They will not listen to you, will go on with their debauchery and bloodlust and gluttony. You live too short."
I keep my voice level. "Peace has no meaning to me. Peace...can be anything. But it is usually when things are harmonious. The Faerie can go on with their debaucheries and shit. If it means peace to them, I don't care."
A short nod from him keeps me going further.
"I did not know who I was when I came to Faerie. I could only define myself as mortal. That shell is gone. Not because I am not mortal, but because I am more than that, in ways not of power.
And peace...I do not mind what my subjects do to find harmony within themselves. I will reign over them with a loose leash, as long as there is limited suffering. Because I, again, am not my subjects. Neither am I Cardan's pet, nor wife, nor queen, nor equal."
He shows surprise at that.
"Neither am I Vivi's younger sister, or a girl aspiring for power and a soldier-existence, or the girl duped by her very own twin.
I am not my goods nor evils. I am just me, and only I get to decide what that means.
So by all means, if you want to reinforce the definition of "peace" with me, go ahead. I am my own person. Not my subjects, not my love, not my past."
A corner of Madoc's mouth lifts in a half-crazy glint. "Then I suppose you can be my prisoner until you let me decide who you are."
He signals at Bryern, and in the time it takes for him to do that, I unsheathe a dagger and hold it up against his throat, holding him like a lover.
"Deja vu, my friend. But you might decide you don't want to kill me just yet."
He turns my head, and I see Cardan being held by his wrists in an iron-hold grip. A shudder almost escapes past my lips, but I don't let them. What I would never tell Madoc is the fact that I might be my own person. But there are certain people who helped me get there. Madoc wasn't signaling Bryern to attack me, but to pull Cardan out into my view. How he did it is beyond me.
"Let's sit down and have a chat." I am a bug caught in a spiderweb, a mouse caught in a trap. But a bug has wings, and a mouse has teeth.
(A/N: YOU GUYZZZ i did two updates in...3 hours?-because i got a hang on how this was going. so clearly, this isn't much of a fanfic anymore, because it extends the plot of the trilogy, but...i couldn't let Jude and her friends have a happy day at the amusement park, could i? nooooo. sorry for all the a/n's. i have finished all the books i want to read, so i might be here more often? i read all my text-notification-thingies. just a fyi. i feel so cringeyyy)