"Thorin?" I questioned, finally making him react and pull himself from his thoughts as he blinked and looked at me before looking over the cliff. Without letting him notice, I admired and am jealous of his hair. While covered in ash and dirt, his braids were hardly even frayed. The silver clasps in his hair shined brightly in the light in comparison to his dark hair. A few had come loose, leaving his longer than shoulder length hair falling in waves, nearly darker than his clothing with the few touches of grey running through.
Which lead me to wondering how old he is. I have no clue on how long dwarves can live, but I know it is somewhere over 300 years. While his hair holds some grey hairs, his face doesn't look that old. So I am unsure.
Suddenly Thorin spoke while looking out over the low mountains, pulling me from my thoughts, "I wonder when you will trust me enough to let me know your secrets." Thorin said quietly, his gruff, deep voice making the words hard to pick out.
I sighed, crossing my arms across my chest as I hunched over, watching the mountains as well, thinking over everything I am hiding from the dwarves and everything I myself do not know, but search for the answers to. White and red flashed through my mind. While I wished to tell Thorin that it is none of his business... I remembered thinking of all the dwarves had done for me and the many times these past two days that Thorin has saved my life.
He deserves to at least have some questions answered, but I am not ready to expose all my secrets.
I closed my eyes tight, frowning as I spoke in a slow, reluctant voice, "That is the bad thing about my secrets, Thorin. I hide many secrets for good reasons, but... there are even some that I do not know the answers to." I said, my voice dropping low for my moment before I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, looking straight forward, "I have searched for many years, but all I have found is a patchy trail of blood and destruction. I am torn on whether I should follow it, or leave it be. But I still want to know, so I still search." I said, my voice hardly controlled on hiding my emotion.
I turned my head away from Thorin, feeling more emotional than I liked and I wasn't eager to show it. Silence fell for a moment.
Thorin shocked me with his next words.
"All these years, searching every rumor, every sign, anything I could in a hope that my father still lived. But I also dreaded finding the end of the trail, finding the truth about my father. I knew it may not be pretty, as he never came to Ered Luin, but I still searched. While the answer was finally given to me, and it was a painful one to hear, I still see it as better than never knowing what happened to him." Thorin said in a low voice, a touch of pain and regret in his tone, so low I almost wasn't sure I was hearing Thorin correctly.
I looked back at Thorin in shock and awe that this stubborn, guarded dwarf just told me a part of his past, a part of what he feels. Thorin was glaring sadly out over the mountains, not looking at me like he was giving me time to process what he just said.
I dropped my arms, interlocking my fingers as I studied my slender small hands and the dirty wrappings around them before I sighed, shoulders drooping. I looked up at Thorin to find him still staring out.
"Thorin, you have been very kind when I have been nothing but rude and unkind. And I thank you for being kind, even admitting something you did not have to tell me. In return for how kind you have been, I will let you know a part of my past." I said, Thorin looking at me with unreadable eyes, patient and waiting as I thought for a moment, looking back down at my hands.
"I... don't know what I am." I said, looking up at Thorin, who looked at me in confusion, his eyebrows furrowed, before I looked back at my hands. "I know that I am not a human, nor a dwarf, nor an elf, or a hobbit. I don't have the large feet of hobbits or the unnatural beauty of elves or the lifespan of humans." I said, looking out of the edge of my eye to see Thorin's eyes widening, curiosity and shock appearing in his gaze.
"I lead you all to believe that I am a short human female, I am not. I have walked on Middle Earth for over a hundred years, searching every inch of the west, every tiny tale, for answers. Only to find... that there is nothing, that no one knows anything at all about what I am. Not a single person in the west has any clue of where I originated from, or why where is no sign of what happened for me end up where I did. I am... an unknown mystery, with only a few tiny pieces to tie me to where I was born." I said, reaching up and clutching my necklace through my shirt, the old metal digging into my hands.
I pulled my necklace out from under my shirt, looking down at it as I ran my fingers along the small key hanging below the ruby in the center of the necklace, the gold and silver, while old and a bit rusted, caught the light of the sun. I ran my thumb over the ruby in the center of the gold and silver, wondering if the necklace truly belonged to my mother. This necklace has not left my neck since I was a child and I had to plans any time soon to take it off.
And if some thief tried to steal it, they would meet their end at the end of my sword. It's also another reason I never took it off, I could not risk losing the necklace.
I looked up to see Thorin studying me, his expression thoughtful, his eyes on my necklace, studying with the eye of a dwarf. I wondered if even royal dwarves knew metals and how they are shaped. I didn't know dwarf culture, so I don't know if Thorin could identify the priceless metals this necklace is made of.
I know Lord Elrond studied my necklace when I was a child, even told me that it is made of the finest, pure gold and silver and that the ruby is clear and very obviously picked from the finest of jewels. But that the key hanging at the end is made of an even rarer metal he couldn't identify.
Which just added more mystery to my origins.
"I would guess that the necklace in your hands is one of those few pieces?" Thorin asked, gesturing to the necklace.
"Yes. It is all I have left to guide me to the answers I seek. I don't know for sure, but I think it belonged to my mother, I have had it with me all my life. But even this necklace cannot be placed in where it comes from." I said, dropping the necklace so it fell against my shirt. That felt funny, since I hardly left my necklace visible to be caught by the eyes of thieves or those who would think I am rich and they can rob me.
"If that necklace did belong to you mother, then I suspect your family was very, very rich. Or royalty. If that gold and silver has lasted this many years with only light rust, then that necklace was clearly painstakingly made. Those jewels are precisely cut with few imperfections, which takes the best jewelers to do and very precise tools to accomplish." Thorin said, shocking me that he knew so much about metals and jewels. I guess that answers my questions on whether royal dwarves know anything about metals. Yet Thorin's examination seemed like that of someone very experienced in work with metals.
Then I remembered the few times I touched his hands, thinking the rough feel of his hands was due to him lifting and fighting with a sword. Now I suspect that his rough hands may be from more than just lifting a sword.
Now I am curious about Thorin's past more, but I did not pry or change the conversation.
"I had a jeweler examine it once, he too thought the same thing. Then he tried to buy it off me and then steal it, which told me much more than his words did on how rare such a necklace is. He and those that tried to steal my necklace found themselves locked in the village's jail for trying to steal it. Ever since then, I have kept the necklace well hidden." I said, which is true. I hoped I might find more answers than just those that Lord Elrond told me. Sadly, I didn't find any more than I already knew.
Silence fell for a while as i tucked the necklace from sight, interlocking my hands together once more as I swung my legs a little over the cliff edge, my ankle already feeling a whole lot better than it did. I don't know what Oin applied to it, but I could actually feel my ankle again and the burning part of the pain is faint. Sadly, the sharp stabbing pain and the aching feeling from my ankle swelling were not disappearing.
"You are choosing to help us in reclaiming our home, when you know little of your own. You have risked your life to protect my own, and I am honored that you chose to do so. In return for all you have done, I will make you a promise." Thorin said in his almost kingly voice, making me look at him with wide eyes, speechless. This wasn't what I intended in protecting him.
"I promise that, once this journey is over, once Erebor is once more in the hands of the dwarves, that I will help you find any answers I can. I cannot promise we will ever find anything, but with my resources as a king, I am sure I can uncover more answers than you would on the road." Thorin said.
I was stunned, shocked speechless as I stared at Thorin with wide eyes, probably more open and emotional than usual but this dwarf king just shocked me to my core with his words. He truly is an honorable dwarf. I kind of felt intimidated by the very persona he gave off, one I ignored or didn't notice till now.
You could be a person who never met or knew of Thorin before and, with one look at him, you could tell he is an honorable, good king.
For a long moment, I couldn't speak, only stare at Thorin in awe before I finally recovered my voice. I cleared my throat, looking away for a second before looking back into his blue eyes.
"You would... do that for me?" I whispered, trying to hide how emotional I am right now, but you could tell by my voice that I am stunned.
Thorin stared back with eyes that spoke of a dwarf who is against breaking promises he makes, making me feel smaller beside him. Normally such a feeling would piss me off, but in this case I was just awed by the new side to Thorin I am only just beginning to discover.
Grumpy, angry, and often stoic. But, under that, calm yet caring for those who follow him, even risking his life for those who follow him. Now, I see another side, the dwarf who does not back down or out of his promises and would not lie or deceit. Yet again, the warm feeling rose in my chest, stronger this time, but most of my walls are down right now so I couldn't fight it away as I stared back in Thorin's eyes.
I felt even more drawn to this dwarf than I was before, but was too shocked to realise it.
"Of course I would. You have been helping us all in every way you can and have proved yourself a valuable member to this company through your skills. Though you could leave this company right now, you stay and you risked your own life while heavily injured yourself to protect my own. It would be a dishonor to all you have done for us not to offer help with your search as you are helping us with ours. But I am also offering to do so because you are a good person, Philomena, so I thank you." Thorin said, still in his kingly voice.
Ya, I can definitely see how he could be a king, he way he speaks, the tipping of his chin and the way he is looking at me all screams 'Royalty!'
Exactly the opposite of me, in some way I am even worse on manners than these dwarves. I decided to tell Thorin my full name, since I already told I don't know what I am.
I smiled at Thorin, "My full name is Philomena Vauthlariel, another piece of my unknown past." I said honestly.
Thorin tilted his head, blinking as he seemed to be thinking, "Sounds vaguely elvish, yet also foreign and quite the mouthful." Thorin pointed out.
"Trust me, it isn't elvish, I have asked." I said honestly as I pulled my bad ankle up, checking the swelling around it as I carefully twisted it before pushing away from the ledge, carefully testing my weight on it and grinning as it hardly hurt at all and supported my weight.
"My ankle's better, we should probably check and see if Gandalf has found us a way down this spire." I said as I noticed all the dwarves relaxing and milling around, some talking and laughing. I guessed an hour had passed but I has no way of knowing, distracted as I was during our conversation. Thorin nodded to me.
I walked off to find Gandalf, Thorin getting up and following me.
Edit: Okay, this chapter originally did not have an end here where I talked. So I'll just add my edit. I feel like this chapter is much more complex than the original now, showing the change in Philomena and the rising fight between the fiery, stubborn side of her and the sweet caring side of her. I think this really builds some character change here that the original chapter never had. It's also showing the developing relationship between Thorin and Philomena and display Thorin's fight against Philomena being his One that he is losing. I definitely like the dynamic in this chapter much more. Yet again, here the word count change, original chapter held 2618 words. New chapter holds 12,487 words. Yet again, another huge jump. Writing is definitely coming a lot easier to me.