QOTD: what's a song from the HSMTMTS album you end up skipping??
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Adeline's POV
𝐉𝐎𝐒𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐃 over to Blaire's house once we parked in front of it. I smiled to myself before picking up my phone and calling her number. Josh then turned to me and furrowed his brows as he noticed I put the phone between us. I put the call on speakerphone.
Josh used his inside voice, "Addie what are you - "
"Yo are you here?" Blaire answered.
"Yep we're outside Boba, don't wanna be late this time" I replied.
"We? S-so like...is Ricky Bowen with you?" she asked nervously and I silently laughed, meanwhile Josh's eyes went wide with amusement.
"Yeah he is, he's taking a phone call outside" I answered and Josh mouthed to me "you're evil," I simply shrugged my shoulders.
"Fucking hell dude, like let's just take a minute can you believe that Joshua Bassett is like there right now, I just fucking watched him in an interview and now he's probably wearing one of his 5 infamous shirts with you in YOUR CAR" she ranted and I had to cover my mouth from laughing.
Josh almost let out a giggle before he stared down at his shirt - he actually wore a collared shirt for once, I guess he wanted to make a good first impression. So instead he yelled like a mime at the phone in protest, making me smile wider.
"Yeah man - "
"Like what the fuck you've been hanging out with a guy you painted. Like you have a fat canvas of his chiseled face somewhere," she continued and I then stopped laughing and brought the phone away.
"WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT, ARE YOU SERIOUS" Josh then mimed as loud as he could and I shook my head nervously.
Okay I painted his album cover on canvas to celebrate its release. But I never posted about it. It was just something I did for fun, for me. But of course Blaire had to inadvertently expose me - I deserved it for putting her on speakerphone.
"Yeah that - we don't - okay can you come out please while we're gonna get Geli" I stuttered and she agreed before we hung up. I looked back to Josh with anxious eyes and he was just smiling.
"You're showing me that art," he urged and I rolled my eyes.
"Why, it's your face how narcissistic are you?" I defended and he scoffed at my retort but I then let out a laugh.
"Very. But really I'm very flattered that I inspired you to - I dunno do what you do best" he replied and I immediately felt at ease.
I was still on edge at times, wondering if he was suspicious that I was like a crazy fangirl, or wanted clout - I don't know! But it bothered me when that side came out if he found me weird, but he never seemed to mind. He embraced it, he understood it, and he didn't care about it in that way. Maybe I shouldn't either.
"That's really sweet thank you, maybe one day I'll show it to you. I'm actually quite proud of it," I answered and he gave me an affectionate smile.
I lingered my own smile back as I let myself get lost in that beaming grin. But I then cleared my throat looked back to the wheel. Josh also let out the weakest laugh and readjusted his posture. Cool cool cool cool.
"Wait so - Angelo's here?" Josh chimed and then I got nervous for a whole other reason. I knew I had to tell him at some point, this was the time.
"Yeah uh, you know how he wanted to get those skateboarding lessons? The guy next door is now doing them for free" I answered and he grinned.
"Hey that's great! Wh-why isn't that great?" he questioned as he registered my expression.
"Okay I'm just gonna rush through this one," I began. Josh turned his body so he was facing me; he was listening intently - as always.
"The guy is - Jordan. He's always been Blaire's neighbor and basically he kinda totally uh, broke my heart...he only showed interest in me on a dare that his friends set for him to get me to sleep with him, as they all noticed me as the girl who went over to Blaire's house and gushed over him all the time so he agreed to it 'cause it was easy - very fucking fanfiction of him. I thought he like, loved me or...something until I saw him trying to make a move on Blaire as he had done his dare and I've never really been the same since. And in conclusion that's why I resonated with Common Sense so
much - I still loved him but he fucking...y'know did that..."
Josh had no words; his eyes were just filled with sorrow. That this actually happened to someone, it was why I had trust issues with any guy since - and even myself. What if what I thought was real was just all in my head? I've fallen for that once, and that was enough.
"Adeline I'm so - he's such a dick...wow I'm sorry I had no idea," was all he was able to ramble and I smiled weakly.
"Of course you had no idea silly," I replied and he let out his own feeble smile, "it's just the worst that he's still around but I trust you with knowing that - 'cause - I don't know. Just do" I continued. My words then made him smile with gratitude.
"Well I'm glad you trust me with that, it's just so awful that you had to go through that, he'll be sorry one day trust me." he assured and it was my turn to laugh weakly. I doubted it but I appreciated his words.
"That's the thing though, he's for some reason back in my life - trying to give Geli lessons who has no idea about any of this. So he always comes over to pick him up and shit. He's preying on me 'cause he knows I'm still alone and...vulnerable maybe. And Mom doesn't know about it either 'cause it's just too embarrassing so I talk to him when she's there like it's normal. It's...it's torture" I confessed and I had almost forgotten at this point we had to get my brother from there. Blaire was still running late to come out anyway.
"Do you still...feel something for him m-maybe?" Josh then asked nervously and we maintained in-depth eye contact for what seemed like forever.
Did I? Or was it just the idea of him? Having someone actually reciprocate my feelings for once? I looked back to Josh and his large eyes made me nervous again.
"I don't think so, just hurts y'know. It's all just an ego boost for him" I replied weakly and he nodded with understanding, the look of relief following his words. I guess he was glad that I wasn't truly stuck in something bad for my mental health.
"By the way, he also knows about you, but thinks it's real - I mean he didn't believe it for obvious reasons - "
"Obvious?" he interrupted and I shrugged as if it was - well - obvious.
"I mean yeah - you're...you, and I'm me...like he was unsurprisingly surprised that someone famous could be into me." I clarified, Josh showed no emotion but I just continued, "but he saw the pictures of us at the grocery store and he's backed off a bit since then, since he thinks I'm not alone - just annoying that I have to voluntarily say hi right now."
He then looked outside and turned back to me with raised brows, "Well there's a way we can make it better, did you wanna make him feel shitty for two minutes, maybe?" he asked and I giggled wearily.
"Well yeah to get him back - always, but every time I try and be tough I turn all Addie-like and turn mute" I replied. He then opened the car door and I was about to follow him but he asked me to stay. I grew cautious. But he simply went around and opened my door for me.
"Shuie what are you doing, I could've done that" I asked with a laugh but he simply reached out for my hand. But behind this confident veneer, I saw his nervous energy from doing this. What was happening?
I subconsciously held my breath as I took his hand; I had never done this before. With any guy since Jordan - let alone this guy. I locked the car and checked to see that Blaire still hadn't come out yet, so it was just me and him going to get Angelo.
Josh seamlessly made our fingers interlace, he walked slightly ahead of me and didn't even look back. Thank God he didn't - because my face was just a mixture of shock, anxiety and excitement. How does he do this?!
Interesting part was, he did this way before we even reached Jordan's door. I guess it was good to prepare?
"Do you really think this is going to do anything Josh? I'm not even sure I'll be able to talk anymore" I whispered after I rang the bell.
"He's a guy, and after hearing what he's been doing to you lately...I can assume so" he replied again with quiet confidence. My heart was racing at this point.
Josh and Jordan were about to meet for the first time.
The door opened and an expected smirk came from Jordan's face, until he looked at the unexpected plus one, "Hey...see you've brought company" he said to me - but he was only looking at Josh.
Okay my nerves were through the roof at this point. But I think Josh could tell, because he squeezed my hand to assure me that I can relax.
"What's up man, I'm Josh," he went for a friendly handshake to pair his smile. Jordan seemed hesitant but he shook it back. My eyes just tossing between the boys.
"Yeah no I've heard some stuff about you, Joshua Bassett. Just didn't think I'd actually...so how are you?" he corrected himself and the tension was incredibly palpable. But Joshua held his own like he was actually - the new boyfriend?
"I'm doing great, just came with her to get the little guy before we head to dinner" he replied casually and I almost wanted to smile at Jordan's reaction. He didn't seem happy that Josh was invited for dinner.
"About that - is Angelo ready yet or?" I interrupted. The quicker Geli came out, the quicker this could all be over.
"Yeah he's just packing up his gaming stuff, but that's great man - meeting the family already? So you guys really are...dating?" Jordan asked. He wasn't even interested in me standing there - his focus was on the new guy.
"Looks like it" Josh countered and I couldn't help but look away and smirk. A clever use of words on his part.
Jordan was a lot of things, but stupid wasn't one of them - well depending on the situation. Because after Josh said that, his eyes squinted and he looked between the two of us. It only lasted a second but it seemed like an interrogation. Because he wasn't just mad about a new boyfriend, he was suspicious. He knew something didn't add up.
"Well that's...great...take care of her Joshua, I have no idea how you pulled that off Philly" he teased back to me and I had so many thoughts in my brain. So many retorts - but I was just so messed up from our situation that talking to him seemed impossible.
But was he onto us? No way, that's impossible.
"Guess I see a lot more in her than others did, she didn't have to 'pull off' anything. I assure you." Josh's words were so blunt and grilling. But it was said in such a casual way - which is what threw Jordan off even more.
"H-hey Geli! We really gotta go now!" I yelled into the house as the tension was becoming too much for me.
"I'm coming down now hold up!" my brother replied in an annoyed tone. He was so perfectly clueless.
"Whatever dude, hit me up when you've got a new song about losing this girl, we can bond" he then jeered at Josh and I immediately felt another rush of anger. He did not.
But before Josh could retort, Angelo came down the stairs with his backpack and skating gear. His face lit up when he saw Josh -I didn't tell him he was joining us tonight.
"Heyy Allstar!" Angelo exclaimed. Him and me were both now using that name for him. Josh's face of anguish immediately turned joyful as he bent down to hug my brother. Jordan just stood back watching it - hating it. So I was loving it.
"Hey little guy it's so good to see you again, how was your lesson today?" Josh asked with full attention on him and it made me smile from cheek to cheek.
"It was decent, Jordan's teaching me the basic stuff for now but in a few weeks - Ricky Bowen wished he could be like me" he replied confidently and we all laughed. Well, sans Jordan. He continued to glare at Josh - as if his suspicions would be answered if he just stared.
"Well I bet you're already better than me." Josh replied jokingly. I then looked up to see Jordan staring at me now. None of this made sense to him. The staring would hurt if Josh were just a normal guy, because that meant Jordan questioned how I could find someone else. But I grew nervous, as even I was confused as to how Joshua Bassett was here right now.
"We should uh - head off now Geli, Boba is probably out waiting" I said and he nodded before poking Josh again.
"I can teach you later" my brother teased to Josh. The curly-haired boy laughed at his sass before Angelo went off to the car. Josh then stood back up and looked back at Jordan.
Even though Jordan was taller, Josh looked at him with such relaxed superiority. It was a whole other side of him I'd never seen. A feisty, protective side. The first thing that came to my head was - that's my guy. But he wasn't. Jordan and I were getting just as confused at this point I swear.
"I'll see you around dude, nice to meet you" Josh spoke up, before reaching for my hand again. Jordan watched our hands easily connect and he laughed to himself.
"I guess we'll all see about that...I'm watching you guys," Jordan suddenly warned and I felt my palm grow sweaty. Sorry Josh.
"Please, I dare you to, we all know you love those" Josh responded and I instinctually let out a snicker. I covered my mouth but it only made me smile more to see Jordan's confidence go sour again.
Jordan walked backwards and closed the door. I couldn't shake the feeling of how hot Josh's sassiness was to me right now. He talked to Jordan in a way I've seen no one do. Blaire always talked shit to him, but it was always through obvious anger. Josh's tone was so reserved and calm that it made Jordan uneasy - he intimidated Jordan.
"T-that was, the best thing ever, Jesus" I said after we turned around. Josh simply giggled and shrugged his shoulders.
"Yeah I don't know where that...came from, you know I'm not usually like that to new people, but I hate guys who just think they've got girls wrapped around their finger," he said with gritted teeth.
It was touching my heart how a guy was looking out for me that much. He knew I just wasn't the outspoken type and that I needed help, and he knew how to do it.
"Well hopefully now he can just back off for a bit, he seemed a bit sus but let's just not worry about him anymore" I suggested and Josh couldn't agree more.
Blaire was finally outside by the car, eager to meet her own celebrity crush. She told me she already rehearsed how to not be annoying and ask questions about the show, which made me laugh a lot.
She stood up straight and walked towards us. But as she was walking, the first place her eyes went was our hands. We were still holding hands.
I quickly let go of his hand and went forward to hug my best friend. I didn't even look back to see Josh's reaction.
I was feeling extremely nauseous but in the best way. I guess that's what butterflies in my stomach felt like. I hadn't felt that in a long time. I was on some sort of high after seeing Josh talk to Jordan. But I didn't like how that was making my heart race. So, I deflected, again.
As I watched Blaire and Josh meet for the first time, it made me feel at home to see two people I cared about interact so nicely. Josh mentioned how he had heard a lot about her and she replied with the same about him. I told both these people so much about the other.
Angelo then came up and grabbed Josh's sleeve to get him to sit next to him in the car. The way Josh fit in so nicely made my heart sing, before a reality check made it fall flat. Were we getting too attached?
There were boundaries, rules. This was a fake relationship. That was going to end soon. I couldn't afford to feel these things...
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
--- notes ---
yalll this was a THICC chapter but i hope you enjoyed it
i've now gone square eyed because i've been binging money heist but it's so fkn good i can't stop
i'm gonna go watch a new 40 min interview w jolivia by y'all
votes and comments make my day! 🖤