"they will beat you, harm you, and break you if they ever found out that you had things you weren't supposed to."
"don't act off, meaning don't show any interests or feelings of doubt- don't show that you're questioning things."
"don't let them know that you hate it there." the words and rules kept flooding in, and jisung was taken aback, a little overwhelmed.
"um.. what happens if they find out?" jisung felt himself growing more scared the longer they were talking to him.
"they can't." minho made eye contact with him. "if they do, we're done."
jisung felt a lump form in his throat. "okay."
"we're trying to figure out how to change everything," chan started to speak again. "how to persuade the majority. but we can't figure out how."
jisung fiddled with his fingers as he sat in thought.
that was until he remembered something they had mentioned before.
"do you have music?"
out of everything that was banned, jisung was mostly drawn to music. he wanted to know what the different genres were, how they sounded- the voices.
"we do, wanna hear?" felix smiled and took out his phone.
"you have it on there? can't the government track what you do on there?" jisung questioned as he scooted closer to felix to see. "i thought they were government controlled."
felix grinned a little. "not this one~ seungmin figured out how to hack them. now listen!" felix shoved two ear buds in jisung's ears and went through the options.
minho and the rest looked at jisung's expression, waiting to see his reaction and whether it would've been good or bad.
there was a rush of sound, coming from the phone through the wires and flooding into jisung's ears.
the initial sound was shocking and loud- making jisung flinch and quickly grip the wires- but then came sounds that he had never heard before.
he felt the melody and beat of whatever song was playing in his fingertips down to his toes.
his eyes were wide as he stared at the ground, trying to make out each individual instrument and tempo.
it was like his brain was going to explode.
after the initial shock, came a few fast blinks of comprehension- then a smile.
a smile which caused a line of smiles- one from felix, one from minho, one from seungmin.
jisung didn't know why, but a sinking feeling came behind his eyes as they watered.
it was so pretty.
"there are no words yet," minho sat next to jisung. "songs with meaningful lyrics are beautiful too."
jisung sniffled a bit before blinking and taking the buds out of his ears.
"it's really nice." he said, smiling a sec before giving back the buds. "i wasn't expecting it." he said honestly.
jisung had only heard music once when he was a child- near a baby.
and it was his fathers voice singing him a lullaby while he was being held, in pajamas and falling asleep.
but he was too young to appreciate the sound of his fathers voice.
"thank you, we wrote it." chan was next to smile, his opinions constantly changing about jisung. he felt that this was the right thing now.
"you guys did that?" jisung was in awe, smiling.
for the first time they saw how jisung's smile could form into a heart.
"that's so cool!" jisung felt almost comforted by being with people who actually had minds.
"you have to be quiet about this-" changbin was cut short by a loud scream coming outside.
"fuck." felix swore and immediately ran up to shut off the lights.
chan quickly locked the doors, and minho shut the blinds.
one of these happen very often, at least one every night.
"don't take it away!" a girl pleaded, until there was a loud sound that silenced her.
everyone was quiet in the house.
every body.
it was scary.
they waited a few moments in silence until it felt right to talk again, minho cautiously still looking at the door while he took his spot next to jisung again.
"i don't like when that happens.." jisung whispered to minho, who looked away from the door and made eye contact.
"i know," he whispered back. "we don't like it either."
~~~
jisung had come to realize that the pills don't drain everything out of you.
they don't drain your personality completely- they just brainwashed you to agree with the government.
which was why students went against other students. that's why the students would snitch on each other.
the next day jisung had felt better, less alone.
he knew he couldn't express how he felt openly, so he contained himself through the day.
he sat at his desk, once again avoiding the pills and shoving them in his desk.
he sighed and rubbed his temples. although it was better- pretending was more stressful than he thought.
he just felt like letting all his energy out, talking, laughing- anything. but acting dull and dead killed him.
felix seemed to understand the struggle, because for a second when jisung looked up and saw felix, the blonde gave a thumbs up.
jisung smiled at him.
the day continued in slow waves, going painfully slow.
lunch came around the corner and jisung went to his locker to get his lunch- but something caught his attention.
he heard kids yelling from the other hall.
it was very easy to hear because the halls were empty and everyone was gone.
jisung couldn't fight the urge to see what was happening- so he followed the yelling and peeked his head in the hall.
he saw a boy being pushed and thrown- and three other boys doing it.
jisung looked and saw that the boy didn't have anything bad on him, he didn't have books, music or any art.
which meant that the three were just messing with him for fun.
the boy had slick lips, and dark black hair. he looked mad.
he looked like he wanted to fight back, but he knew he couldn't win against three.
his eyes look like they held poison in them, as he wiped under his nose to catch blood on his sleeve.
"what? pretty boy is getting angry?" one of the students laughed.
the boy with the black hair only shot daggers at them with his eyes.
but he didn't say anything.
jisung wanted to turn away, he told himself to just leave it and go back.
but the second one of the students threw a punch and aggressively threw the boy onto the floor- jisung couldn't watch.
instead of confronting the students head on, jisung just ran and rushed in.
he grabbed the boys hand without saying a word and completely booked it down the hall.
"hey! where do you think you're going?!" they shouted after them.
"who is that??" one of the students yelled as they chased them.
jisung looked around in panic, trying to think fast. for any ideas.
he was about to completely panic- until he saw the bathroom.
without any warning he quickly swerved into the bathroom with the boy and slammed the door locked.
there was a long moment of the two holding their breaths, trying not to speak and covering their mouths.
"where did they go?" they heard shouting just outside the door.
"check there!" there were footsteps- and then silence.
jisung sighed as he felt the adrenaline die down and he processed what he did.
"who are you?" jisung almost forgot about the boy with him.