As soon as we had returned to camp at day's dawning, we reported the events of the night to Aragorn. He said little in response to our adventures, only speaking at any length to check on me, and insisted we all go to bed for the morning. Legolas pulled Aragorn aside to speak as I opened the door to the cabin. Doubtlessly he was telling him of my panicked reaction to the news that the men who had murdered my family were actively searching for me. I turned to the wall, pretending to be fast asleep when he joined me in our tiny room.
In reality it felt like I had not slept at all. My thoughts raced each other around the branches of my mind, keeping me in the strange world between wakefulness and the peace of elvish dreams. However, I must have slipped into the realm of sleep somehow.
I was in my old nightdress, which was torn, and the slash wound on my leg stung. A pack of wargs surrounded me, speaking with the harsh voices of the men who had come to my home on that terrible night, tearing chunks out of my nightdress until there was not a scrap left. The largest warg knocked me to the ground with its paws on my shoulders. It opened its mouth. Inch long teeth sunk towards my exposed neck.
"Lá!" My voice broke and I bolted up, gasping, from my blankets. I could barely draw breath. However, there was no danger in the hut. It looked the same as it always did: our weapons leaning against the wall, my cloak strewn messily on the floor. I leaned back against the wall, closing my eyes with a shaky sigh. (Q: no!)
"Ness?" I heard Legolas call in concern from outside. Opening my eyes again, I stood and wrapped my cloak around me. My hands were unsteady, but he would not judge. I walked out into the bright, cold sunlight of early afternoon to see him sat straight, gazing at the cabin door with a frown crossing his face. His shoulders relaxed as I sat beside him.
"What happened? I thought I heard you shout."
"Nightmare." I muttered, my eyes on my knees. Legolas' frown deepened and he laid a hand on my shoulder.
"That is unlike you. You're shaking." He wrapped an arm cautiously around me. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head and he squeezed me closer reassuringly. "I will not force you."
"I know." I said, mastering myself and looking into his eyes. "It helps that you never pressure me."
"It reassures me to know I can help you, dear Ness." We shared a lingering gaze, sitting in silence, side by side, for a few moments, then broke eye contact. I thought I knew what he would say when he next spoke. We had barely begun our conversation about the orc's words, never reconciled ourselves with what it meant. Imrathiel, oblivious, turned to wave. We waved back, but I knew that we could not put this off. We had to discuss this.
"We should go inside." Legolas nodded and stood, holding open the door for me and pushing back the canvas, letting me pass before he stepped into the room and let it fall. We sat, side by side, beneath the window on his straw mattress.
I turned to study his ageless face, lingering on the sharp cheekbones, the long eyelashes that glowed like sunbeams in the bright light of early afternoon, the angular jaw. His eyebrows were dark and furrowed in worry. His straight nose complimented the elegant curve of his lips, shaped just like his war-bow, which rested on the wall by his bed.
None of this helped in the moment.
He did not look back at me but stared at the canvas covering the doorframe on his left. "I think we need to talk." I swallowed, fearing what he was about to say, but wondering, at the same time, quite what I wanted his next sentence to contain.
Legolas stretched out his fingers towards mine. They were not as steady as usual. I brushed the ends of my fingers with his. The touch was as uplifting as athelas on my soft skin. Finally, he looked into my eyes. On his face there was that now familiar mix of hope and fear. It was intoxicating. I moved my fingers closer and nestled my hand into his warm palm. He bit his pale bottom lip, allowing the delicate skin to free itself from his white tooth.
"How do we talk about this?" I asked softly. Legolas shifted a little closer. He swallowed, gathering himself, and smiled tremulously.
"I have never had to speak on matters of the heart either. This seems strange to me, to finally speak of this, but I should have told you a long time ago-"
There was a quiet knock on the door.
Legolas rolled his eyes and slumped his head back against the wall, swearing under his breath in the Silvan tongue of his people. I clenched the hand that was not holding his. Could the knock not have waited ten more minutes? "Foiled again". He mustered a half-smile, standing, calling "come in!" and turning to roll his eyes at me once more.
Aragorn's footsteps crossed the twins' room and he pushed past the canvas that separated it from ours. "Man?" Legolas asked tersely, and rather grumpily. Aragorn paused a second before he answered. I was sitting with my legs curled underneath me on Legolas' bed, and his tunic was askew where I had been pressed against him a few minutes before. I dreaded to think what this may look like. (S: What?)
"I thought you would be asleep." He muttered, glancing at me apologetically.
"You did not disturb me." In fact, he had greatly disturbed us, but he wasn't to know it.
Aragorn turned from me to Legolas. "I need a messenger to find the nearest ranger, to send for reinforcements from Rivendell. The orcs grow. We need more help than I alone can give my people, if they are to survive."
"I told Mithrandir last night he would be needed. Do you think I should find him?" Legolas asked, a sigh in his voice. Aragorn thought for a moment before answering.
"I think your idea is wise, friend. He knows more than we on what faces us, and he travels fast. Gondor will have to wait, for our need is greater. It might be best that Elrond hears it from someone who knows more of our plight than some quick-footed young Dúnadan." Aragorn looked Legolas in the eyes. "Will you go?"
We can go", I assured him, stretching at last and standing. Legolas and Aragorn exchanged glances. Legolas turned back to me and laid a hand on my shoulder.
"Rest today. You had a hard time last night, and this is unlikely to be a dangerous task. I can take care of it."
"Who will take care of you?"
"I am sending Mallor with him", Aragorn contributed.
"He is a child" I muttered back. Some danger grew unstoppably in my heart at the thought of Legolas leaving. For one strange moment, I thought I could smell blood. I pulled myself back into the present, clenching my jaw.
When I looked unconvinced, Aragorn continued. "He's a good lad, and as Legolas says this is unlikely to be a dangerous task. I was hoping he might learn from you, friend."
Legolas nodded. "I would prefer a light-footed youngster. The older rangers make too much noise to my ears."
"This land is perilous. I fear some ill will come of this." I said quietly. The two turned to look at me. Legolas stepped forwards and brushed his fingers across my cheek. A shiver of warmth passed through me, and I tried not to show it on my face.
"I will be back before you know it. I promise."
Aragorn stepped forwards then, and carefully draped an arm around my shoulder. "I need you here to patrol the borders. We need sharp elf eyes and ears and light feet spread everywhere in this time of danger. Elladan and Elrohir must patrol the perimeters of the orc camp, or I would send one of them."
Legolas spoke then, looking earnestly into my eyes. "This is a simple task." He sighed. "I know you are not feeling yourself, but I would not leave you unless I knew you were safe. Stay with Aragorn for now."
"I'm sorry. It was- I am being a bother to you", I swallowed.
"You're not". Legolas said quietly. "You never will be." Aragorn attempted to sink into the shadows of the room as Legolas stepped towards me, gripping my upper arms with his hands. "How many times do we have to tell you? You are valuable to us beyond measure, both as a comrade and a dear friend. Try not to worry. I will be back with you as soon as I can."
"Forgive my fear. But please, Legolas, be careful. Something about this sets my teeth on edge."
He knew exactly what I meant. He, alone, had seen both of my experiences of foresight. "I know you fear something I cannot perceive. I will be especially careful."
"I'm sorry." I said shamefully. "I could be wrong."
Legolas shook his head slightly. "There is nothing to forgive." He pulled me into a lingering hug, putting his lips closer to my ear to murmur something. At the feel of his warm breath an unnameable thrill exploded into my chest. "Perhaps we should sneak away somewhere no rangers can interrupt us when I return?" There was some quality to the slow, slightly nervous melody of his voice, the increase in pitch at the end of the sentence, which set my heart beating like the pounding of hooves on grass. I met his eyes a little shyly but nodded, smirking irresistibly. Legolas grinned, relieved that I had taken his whispered question well, then clapped Aragorn on the shoulder. "I will set out at once. Is the lad ready?"
"When you are", Aragorn nodded. "Be careful, Legolas."
Legolas trained his eyes first on Aragorn and then on me. "I will. Try not to start anything exciting without me."
He swung his quiver onto his back and picked up his bow. "Dinner on Wednesday? I'll cook." He called back to me.
"Don't be late!" I smiled. He bowed his head once, winking cheekily, and left the cabin, swinging the door shut behind him.
I stooped to pick up his blanket and sighed, running out to catch up with him as he left the camp with Mallor. "Legolas?" He turned and laughed as I held out his blanket, one hand on my hip.
"Good point. Try and take care of yourself, Ness, for once."
"You too." I replied softly. He squeezed my shoulder and jogged away to catch up with Mallor. I watched them walk out of sight, the long strides of the lanky boy and the light steps of the elf.
"Tea?"
Unnoticed, Aragorn had come to stand a few paces behind me. I accepted his offer and we walked into his cabin. Though he was the chieftain, it was the smallest building in the camp; his few possessions were arranged neatly, and the tiny room was clean. There was just room for a straw mattress and blankets, and a homemade stove under the glassless window where a kettle was bubbling. He dug out some tin mugs from a corner and poured us each a steaming nettle tea, handing mine over and offering me the comfortable seat on his mattress. I thought I knew exactly what this conversation would be about.
"What did I walk into?"
I sighed and closed my eyes. "Nothing."
"You looked upset."
I opened my eyes. "Legolas did not upset me. I had a nightmare and he was comforting me."
Aragorn's frown deepened. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. He calmed me down."
He raised an eyebrow expectantly. "So what did I walk into then?"
"Nothing." I repeated sullenly. "Perhaps if you'd walked in five minutes later..."
Aragorn put his head in his hands and growled in frustration. "Sorry!"
"You weren't to know." I said grudgingly. "The truth is perhaps you were right. That orc we captured said something which made us both realise we need to talk about-" I paused to take a sip of tea and a moment to think "- well, you know."
"Can you say that again? The bit where you admitted I am right?"
"You should write it down. I will never say it again."
Aragorn shook his head in an affectionate sort of way. He reached into his pack and drew out some dried fruit and waybread. "I fear you shall have no rest today as Legolas wishes. I really do need you on the borders. Will you come?"
"Of course." I sighed slightly. "Was it this confusing when you first met Arwen?"
"We were far more frightened, I think, than you are now. More is at stake for an elf and a man. But yes, I had no idea how to cope. I was so young, just twenty. I barely had an understanding of what kind of man I wanted to be, let alone how to be the man she deserves."
"You got there." I smiled, wolfing down the food he gave me and draining the tea. I held out a hand to him and pulled him to his feet. "She must see something in you, to wait so long."
"Goodness knows what."
"Your kind heart, your honour, your courage, your respect, your skill. And she loves your beard, never shave it."
"Thank you. That is generally what she says to me, come to think of it." Aragorn clapped me on the shoulder, with a chuckle. "The beard?"
"Absolutely."
Aragorn laughed again. "I thought it was scruffy."
"Maybe scruffy, smelly rangers are her type."
"Just like your 'type' is blond Sindar princes who smell like pine trees?"
We moved up the river, picking our way past Tar's children who were fishing close to the camp.
"You are so like my brother. He delighted in irritating me just as much as you do."
Aragorn ruffled my hair. I pushed him away easily and leapt onto a stone in the middle of the river, leaping again to reach the far bank. "There are prints here you have not noticed. None of your people ever come this side."
"Help me cross then, gwathel. I have not your light feet." (S: sworn sister).
I watched Aragorn for a second, absorbing what he had called me. I saw on his face that he feared he had gone too far. Slowly, a grin spread on my face. I jumped back to the rock and helped Aragorn to lay a fallen branch, as thick as we could find, over to the rock, then we jumped together onto the opposite bank.
"You will scare off every orc in Eriador with your stomping feet, little brother." Dodging a punch to the arm from Aragorn, I launched off into the distance, tracking the rough path for him while he examined the footsteps more closely.
***
When we returned hours later, the sun was beginning to set. There was a pleasant smell of cooking fish wafting through the air. Aragorn sped up hopefully next to me. We had set a course along the banks of the river for some time, luckily finding no more orc packs to fight.
Legolas and Mallor had not yet returned. I hardly expected them to be back so fast, but even so my heart sunk. Some foreboding settled on my heart. Why I knew not. I hoped it was my mind playing tricks on me as usual, not a glimmer of foresight for some ill that would befall them.
Though the fish smelled delicious, it was scarce. Aragorn gave me the larger plate at first, but when he went to get us water, I swapped them, already demolishing half of the much smaller portion before he had returned. He frowned at his larger plate. "Elves have less need of food", I dismissed when he tried to offer me more.
We finished, and at length Aragorn spoke again. "Legolas will be fine. He is one of the most talented elves I know, and that's saying a lot."
"I fear something is amiss." I said quietly, holding up a hand as Aragorn went to speak. "I know you think I am nervous because he isn't here, but that is not what bothers me. There is something wrong"
"You are worried for him." Aragorn said quietly. "I understand, but even if they end up in a fight, Legolas will keep them both perfectly safe. I have never had cause to doubt his skill."
"It is not his abilities I doubt, but how he will be forced to test them."
I sighed, wishing I could make him understand the looming danger I knew was coming. I half wished we had not spoken earlier; perhaps he thought I worried for Legolas the way Arwen must fret over him. I knew Legolas' skill was great, but I had never felt the need to ensure his safety as much as I did then.
Elladan and Elrohir walked over at that moment, their own dinners as small as mine. We sat in silence for a few minutes while the pair finished their food.
"We killed five wargs and eight orcs. They were attempting to sneak towards the valley".
Aragorn clenched his fist. "Any others in the area?"
"None close to where we set our guard", Elladan said grimly, "but we have not the men to cover every inch of the north."
"Let us hope our messengers return soon with good news." I muttered, still feeling some sense of dread at the thought of Legolas and Mallor out alone in the wild.
"The road to Imladris grows more dangerous even since you arrived, little cousin." Elrohir remarked grimly. "Mithrandir will have a difficult road ahead. He must travel in upmost secrecy."
"It took us weeks, but it could take him months, even with his considerable skills." Aragorn muttered. I sighed slightly.
"Then we will have to hold for months longer, and that is only if the message does not miscarry."
"It could be longer than that." Aragorn sighed. He took a draught from his water flask. "The elves will have to win through to these lands with the upmost secrecy."
"Take heart, brother." Elladan clapped Aragorn on his broad shoulder. "The Enemy still fears your people. We will keep them away from the women and children in this valley. And you know the elf lords who raised you would risk anything to give you aid, Estel."
"And the elves you have met since. I know the hope in Legolas' heart steadies yours when you can find none, and we both know he will never give in to the Enemy. As for me, I think our fates are entwined, dear friend. I am burdened with aiding men in the coming years, of helping them to heal the hurts Sauron has wrought. I will complete this task, one way or another, and that means sticking with you."
Aragorn smiled grudgingly and slung an arm around my shoulders. "I am glad to have you with me, all of you. But I do not wish to bring war on those who love me."
"Do you think this is all for you, Dúnadan?" I raised an eyebrow and gathered the plates into a pile so I could wash them.
"She is right." I heard Elladan say quietly as I walked away. "This is for all free people. If the Dúnedain die out, the Enemy would gain an even larger foothold, and the men you work so hard to protect would fall. We will hold out here. We must."
The situation grows ever more desperate for the Dúnedain and their allies, but might there be some light in the dark?
A.M.