"Do you have a hard on?" Alex was saying and I wished very badly that this was all part of my dream. I could feel my eyes were still glazed over, and my body was hot and sticky with sweat, my shirt clinging to my back. I didn't answer him. I couldn't answer him. All I could do was stare, stare at those pink pink lips, those bright eyes and that soft hair. Before I regained full control of my body, I leaned up and pressed my lips to his, lingering for a few seconds before dropping my head back onto the pillow and closing my eyes, wanting nothing more than to forget the sweet sensation of those soft lips, so plush and ready for me. I was going to torture myself like this, thinking about it. How could one little kiss have so much control over me?
"Cal...?" Alex whispered. I didn't answer. I didn't move. I hardly dared to breathe. I kept my body frozen under the covers, and listened intently. "Are you asleep?" He asked. I didn't acknowledge him. I tilt my head slightly to the side and shuffled it into the pillow a little, still pretending to be asleep. He continued to stare at me for a few minutes. I was very tempted to open my eyes, to see what he was looking at, to question him. But then he moved, and I kept frozen. He rested his head on my chest, wrapping an arm around my torso. Instinctively my arm wrapped around him and my head tilted the opposite direction to face him.
Alex was going to be the death of me.
___
Alex's POV
I wanted to bring it up the next morning, the kiss. That was most definitely not what I was expecting to happen last night when I woke up to my best friend moaning and with a hard on. Suddenly a thought doused me with freezing cold water. What if he was dreaming about Daisy? What if he was, you know, getting it on with her in a dream, and he just got too excited. What if they kissed when they were at the movie last night? What if he mistook me for her. I was going to drive myself crazy with these thoughts.
I felt him stirring next to me, and I rose quickly from his chest, heading over to his drawers. We do have our own separate rooms, but honestly, I hardly sleep in my bed. I usually wore his clothes too. Which surprised other Alphas when they first meet me. Because I have my smell, but I also smell faintly of my Beta. I wonder what they think of it? Do they think we're together? That thought sends a thrill of excitement down my spine, and I quickly stomp the idea into a little ball of nothing. There can be no hope for that, not when I know he doesn't have a true mate, I know for sure that we will never be together. It killed me inside, but it was the way it was. I had gotten used to the continuous dull ache, with the occasional sharp pang whenever I saw him with Daisy.
The morning passed uneventfully, with Cal acting quieter than normal. I frowned at his odd behaviour, but didn't comment on it, not wanting to bring up what happened last night. That was pure torture. Thankfully it was the weekend, but I honestly didn't feel to great, so after a shower and some breakfast I carried my school bag to my bed and grabbed my laptop, planning on doing a bit of homework. And that's how I spent the day, sitting in the quiet of my room, alone, with just my thoughts.
___
Cal's POV
Today was weird. I definitely remembered last night, and honestly, I don't know how I feel about it. I was just so confused, and that's when it clicked. Alex is my mate. Alex is my mate?? Holy shit ALEX IS MY MATE! I started to panic, not knowing how to deal with this. All our years of friendship suddenly vanished from my mind, and it was like he was a complete stranger. I didn't know how to have a relationship, how to be mates? I didn't know any of that stuff. Let alone with Alex! SO I kept my guard up, not letting my full scent drift off of me. If my friends noticed, they didn't say anything. I kept along with the hand holding, and the soft touches and the inside jokes. On the outside, it was like nothing had changed.
But everything had changed, and something was changing with Alex too. He was getting thinner and thinner, and by the time the next pack came around, the West Mountain Pack, he looked like a twig, nothing like the muscular figure he used to be. I shook hands with the Alpha, and he looked concerned about Alex but I reassured him, saying he had just come down with a fever.
I hope it was just a fever. Our pack doctor had no idea what was wrong with him, just kept giving Alex antibiotics and making him sleep every chance he got. I was worried about him, so worried, I forgot what I had discovered.
___
Alex's POV
I hacked out a cough, my lungs felt like they were burning and my insides felt like they had all dried up, no matter how much water I drank. I returned to my paperwork, setting up the school files for all the new students we had with the West Mountain pack now staying with us. It was the worst time to get sick. I looked small and weak compared to Cal, and Alpha Joe kept shooting me worried glances. I didn't like it.
Over the next few days, the last few before spring break, I steadily got worse and worse. I looked like a skeleton now, and I barely had any energy. I had small bursts, mostly after I had eaten, but I didn't get out as much, and as such, had gotten very pale. Cal was practically running the pack, which I was grateful for. I wouldn't be able to do this without him, but he had gotten so busy that he hardly ever sees me anymore.
It was one brisk morning that I had felt more energy, so I decided to take a short walk around the pack grounds, and I stumbled upon a training session being led by Cal and Alpha Joe. I came over to stand by them, watching intently. They had mixed the partners up, so our pack was working with someone from Alpha Joe's pack. It was a strategic move, having the two different training styles clash to see the defensive moves that could be made from this. I see a strong alliance in the future.
I listened in on Cal and Joe talking, and they were joking around. I laughed a little too hard at one joke, and it turned into a coughing fit. Both men turned to me with worried expressions etched into their faces, but I waved them off. Until I noticed the blood. I was coughing up blood, real actual blood. What the hell kind of fever was this?
I started to sway, and Joe caught me. All Cal could do was stare at me in horror. I felt something drip down my nose and onto my lip. More blood, I suspected. "Alex, Alex can you hear me?" I nodded numbly. "This isn't a fever," he said, "Someone very close to you is hiding something. Hiding something that is detrimental to you."
I looked up in a haze, finally noticing the large crowd surrounding me. They were all staring at me, and I felt so weak. I didn't want them seeing me like this, this weak mess of skin and bones and nothingness. How had I let myself become so weak?
"Alex, hey Alex," I slowly focus in on Cal. My beautiful Cal. My strong Cal. My rock. "I'm going to take you back to our room, okay?" Sounds good to me. I nodded deliriously. I'd go anywhere for him. Anywhere. Suddenly I was being scooped up into a pair of strong arms, and we were moving. Wheeeeee! I drifted in and out of consciousness, recognizing faces we passed and not being able to say hi. I looked up at Cal's face, he is so beautiful. All I could do was stare at his pink pink lips. I wanted to kiss them again.
The way he had been looking at me recently, like he had figured something out and didn't want to tell me yet. Then it dawned on me. I'm his Alpha, and he's hiding something. It must be what Joe was talking about. Then another thought rose up inside of me, a jealous, ugly thought. What if he was hiding the fact that he and Daisy were secretly together, and he didn't want to be intimate with me anymore. Or maybe that he had decided he'd rather go back to Daisy's pack. I couldn't let that happen.
We finally got to my room, and he set me down on the bed, urging me to lay down, but instead I shook him off and stood, suddenly filled with restless energy. I paced and paced, probably worrying Cal to no end. But I couldn't focus on that now. All I could think about was Cal leaving me, leaving me for some girl he just met a few weeks ago.
"When did you figure this out?" I asked quietly.
"What?" He replied, looking very confused. I knew it was just a front though.
"When did you figure out your feelings for her?" I all but snarled. I was losing patience, and I couldn't wait any longer.
"Alex I don't know what you're talking about," he pleaded with me. He held his arms out placatingly, but it did nothing to help soothe my nerves.
"When. Did you." I bit out, advancing on him, pinning him with my glare, and then pinning him against the wall. "Figure out. Your. Feelings. For her?" He looked so good under me, and I wanted to keep him like that forever. This scared expression of his was turning me on a little, I was almost drunk with power. Suddenly his expression hardened.
"I don't like Daisy like that," he said coldly.
My heart soared, and before I could stop myself I swooped in and kissed him, hard.