•OPENING UP•
"but is something truly better than nothing, when that something is really nothing at all"
The cafeteria descended into a quiet hush, as each of the students gave us a once over. Wondering what Master Lin had us do exactly. Some of these Lucky bastards won't even have the opportunity to do the tests Lin forces us to do. I huffed from behind Chico, switching my glare to the only person who wasn't phased by our bloody messes. Shabnam. An overly enthusiastic chubby kid, who is running for class president. A role that no one else gave a crap about due to them being given to subservient dweebs, that got bullied into doing what other people wanted them to do. Therefore never actually improving anything at the school.
And with the way Shabnam is going about it, he's going to get another stick up his arse from Viktor.
"Vote Shabnam for class president. I'll win with or without your help, but I'd much rather have your support" Shabnam spoke enthusiastically, my eyes almost rolled to the back of my head as I peered over Chico's shoulder at the board with a large portrait of Shabnam and the words 'VOTE FOR SHABZ' in all capitals underneath.
"We need more nurses in the infirmary. We need stalls separating the group showers,
if you put me in charge, there'll be—"
I grimaced as Viktor picked up the half-full trash can and proceeded to dump it over the short boys head, cutting him off on his rant.
I guess that's one way to shut him up, he should be glad there's nothing going up his rear end. Killian let out a small chuckle, giving my shoulder a quick squeeze before following the rest of the group to the food line up.
I stayed back my eyes landing on Marcus as he helped the poor boy up. I smirked walking past him, my fingertips grazing along the tops of his shoulders seeing him visibly shudder from my touch. I felt his eyes follow my frame so I added an extra sway to my hips as I made my way towards the table that my gang usually sat at. For some reason, they weren't there today.
Where are Klaus and Hazel?
I scanned the different cliques knowing I'd be able to sit with Saya but the wet-bag Yakuza's would start questioning not only her loyalty but my own. With the multiple arguments, I've had with my gang the safest bet is to sit alone. I huffed doing exactly that. Placing my feet on the table, I crossed my legs and leaned back onto one of the pillars. I did a quick once over of the cafeteria and pulled out my dagger, flipping it over my fingers as I studied each of the students.
My gaze was hard, making each of them cower away from it, from me.
"What's got you so pissed off?" Killian grinned placing a tray in front of me and another across the table before he sat down.
I slowly glanced over to him, gesturing to my whole attire before placing my dagger back in its holster and took a fork full of food.
"You didn't seem to mind the test, you were pretty close to the newbie" I stopped chewing, my eyes narrowing on the dark-haired boy.
Here we go again.
"I don't appreciate the leash I'm on, fancy loosening it a little?" I huffed, raising my brows at Killian.
"Sorry, I don't fancy it" he leant forward, his eyes darkening as he took in my whole body, challenging me. I clenched my legs together, ignoring the warmth that flooded me.
"You're going to have to, I'm his pledge" I spoke, kicking my legs off from the table so I could face him.
Killian clenched his jaw, his eyes darting around my face. "Try and stay as far away from him as possible. Maria to-"
"Not gonna happen" I cut him off, laughing at how ridiculous he was being. "Maria's a friend, it's better for us if we keep it that way-" I rose my brows, "You wanna know why? Because Maria calms Chico down and therefore the Sato Vatos won't come after us" I spoke slowly, trying to reason with Kil. But there was never any reasoning with him when he's like this.
"Until you decide to piss him off" he rolled his eyes, and I smirked.
"Well that's not going to change" I shrugged my shoulders before cocking my head to the side "-but what I want to know is why you are bringing this up now—not months ago" I bit my lip, already knowing it's because of Marcus. If Killian's going to continue with this then I'm going to get under his skin.
"People are starting to talk, thinking your loyalties lie elsewhere. I've said this" he spoke quietly, pulling back his tray. Taking a mouthful of food.
"Because I'm fucking Marcus, right?" I rose my brows, watching him choke and stare at me with wide eyes. "I know what's been said Killian, I'm not worried-" I said as I got up to walk around the table so I was stood behind him. "-and if I'm not worried, then neither should you" I placed my hands on his shoulders feeling him tense under my touch. I ran my hands teasingly down his chest and back up to his shoulders squeezing his muscles until he winced. "I know the real reason why you're bringing this up now-" I growled. "-You're jealous"
Laughing lowly I patted his chest, ignoring his annoyance and went towards the rat's table, giving Killian the middle finger as I did.
I'll let him simmer in his rage for a while.
I sat down next to Marcus shocking not only everyone at the table but everyone in the room. It wasn't normal for a legacy to openly associate with the rats.
"Are you lost?" Lex looked at me with wide eyes making me grumble and rub my head.
"No, just pissed off—so don't annoy me further" I warned, stealing a fry from Marcus's tray. He gave me a long look, leaning his arm on the back of my chair and pushed his tray towards me. I did a double-take as my eyes landed on Shabnam. "The fuck is he doing here?"
It was unusual for me to sit here but I came to this table because I couldn't deal with the incessant yapping of shit that I didn't need to hear right now.
"We were about to ask the same question" Lex raised his brows and Shabnam gulped from our focus on him.
"Uhhh anyway, Marcus, my parental units are gonna be out of town, so me and the crew were thinking of firing up the Commodore 64, a little 'Castle Wolfenstein,' a charcuterie plate" I rolled my eyes, a headache forming.
What is he talking about?
When Marcus didn't show any interest and continued to pay attention to me picking at his food, Shabnam added "My dad probably left some amaretto too, if we wanna get a little crazy"
"We're in" Marcus didn't blink an eye causing Billy to splutter on his apple juice. "Come again?" He spoke in a high and surprised voice.
"Schools dry" Marcus leant forward. "You know, something's better than nothing"
I rolled my eyes, "But is something truly better than nothing, when that something is really nothing at all" I muttered to myself earning a look of confusion from them all, making me shrug.
"My dad was clear-" Marcus nudged Billy's back, his arm grazing the backs of my shoulders as he did. "Just a few friends," Shab said, his eyes wary. Marcus's arm lingered over but he reluctantly removed it, placing it on the table.
Billy grinned and moved to stand behind Shabnam putting his hands on his biceps.
"You can't win an election with just a few friends" I stifled a small chuckle as I watched Marcus smile smugly.
"You need to connect with a proletariat" Lex gestured to himself. "You are all horrible people" I muttered, shaking my head at them. Marcus's eyes gleamed with mischief.
"It'll be a small gathering—We promise"
Time passes by faster in the graveyard, no one around, just me led on the dirty roof, a bottle of whatever alcohol I can get my hands on and a cigarette dangling between my lips.
For the past two days since the test, I've been hiding out here most nights. Ignoring everyone but Marcus. I can tolerate him at my worst times and he can surprisingly make me forget.
I pulled the cigarette out from my lips, shaking my head at the ridiculous thoughts. I laughed silently sitting up with the now empty bottle in my hands.
"Happy birthday Alice" I slurred, raising my bottle up to the sky.
"Used to be my favourite day and now it's one of the worst days of the year"
What's worst is I'm very drunk and there is no alcohol left in this bottle. Huffing I tossed it to the side, jumping once I heard a startled scream come out of thin air. I whipped around drawing the knife out from my belt and flung it in that direction.
"Killian?" I squinted, seeing his body curled up in a cowering position.
"Yep," he peeked out from behind his hands before moving to examine the knife that was now lodged between a crack in the brick wall.
"And that is why I ducked" he pulled the knife out and pocketed it.
"You can fuck off now" I slurred, not bothering to retrieve my knife from him. I heard Killian shuffle before his face came into view in front of me. I rolled my eyes as he cupped my chin taking a closer at my face.
"You're drunk" Killian observed, as I slapped his hand away.
"Fuck off" I repeated.
"I can't do that Kaiya" he sighed, "every year, for five years I've seen you come up to this roof, and drink yourself to sleep-" "I can't—" he cut himself off as I bowed my head unable to look into his eyes.
"Please leave me"
"Not this time, why do you come up here every year?"
"That's none of your business" I drunkenly stood up, pushing his chest to just have him catch both of my hands.
"Every year—" I cut him off by placing my hand over his mouth, his hand still clasped around my wrist.
"It's my sisters birthday" I let out a sigh, my eyes staring into his dark orbs. "If you tell anyone I had a sister, I will break all twenty-seven bones in your hand" I reluctantly let him move my hand from his mouth, watching his eyes soften.
"No, stop looking at me like that. With pity"
"You said had" he scanned my face as I winced.
"Yeah she's dead"
"Is that the only reason you drink yourself to insanity?" He questioned taking a step closer, as his hands moved up to rest on my biceps.
"Stop asking questions, you only know I'm only answering them because I'm drunk"
"Why do you drink?"
"Well that's a stupid bloody question" I sighed leaning so my forehead was against his chest.
"I mean, why drink on this night every year? Why drink until you can't function?" He corrected himself as I brought my head back up to stare into his eyes.
"I told you" I slurred, preying he would stop asking questions.
"I know you too well, I know you're holding something back"
"You don't know me, you don't know my fucking past" I let out a tear, my eyes begging him to stop. He sighed once he studied my face and nodded pulling me into him. His arms came around me, and he placed his head on top of mine.
It became silent. But that was the one thing I didn't want. The silence was too loud, to overbearing.
So I finally spoke...
"He made me kill her —I couldn't let her suffer"
I broke down. Letting myself grieve for the first time in a long time.
It's okay to look weak, it was okay to let someone in.
🖤⚔️
Well, it's been so long since I updated, I might have slightly forgotten where I was going with the story. Thank you for reading darlings! And I hope you're excited to hear about the rest of Kaiya's past in the next chapter whenever I do post it. Sorry, it has been so long :(