David Dobrik uploaded a video
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5:13am
"If I knew Dom's parties ended this late—"
"Don't kid yourself, Clara, we all know you'd still go." Natalie tells her, tiredly.
We barely made it to Natalie's room without collapsing and straight-up sleeping on the floor. I ditched my shoes way before we even got to David's house because those heels were literally killing me.
We all fall onto Natalie's large king-sized bed, and I don't think my feet have ever ached this much in my entire life. And right at that moment, my phone dings from under Natalie's leg.
unknown
The people love us
My eyebrows scrunch together in confusion as I squint to analyze the text displayed on my bright screen. Who'd be texting me at this hour? And what people? Why do they love us?
me
wish i could celebrate w you but idk who u are or what ur talking about?
I watch as the little grey typing bubble pops up, vanishes, then pops up again. I look over at Natalie and Clara who are practically dead, before turning back only to see that my mystery pen pal has already replied.
unknown
Aw c'mon don't tell me you already forget about me! Should I cancel our dinner reservations then?
Then it all clicks.
me
if it isn't mr. wittek 🤔 i wonder how you managed to get my number?
I smile at his mention of our date, happy to know that it wasn't just a joke when he said it at Dom's only a few hours ago.
jeff
Let's just say, David and I are even now ;)
I bite my lip in order to stifle my laugh, shaking my head at his charming attitude — even via text — and lean back against Natalie's mountain of throw pillows, the fatigue suddenly leaving my body.
me
hmmm don't know how i feel about my best friend giving out my personal information to strangers!! :0
jeff
You and me? Strangers? Don't offend me, gorgeous
My heart skips several beats as I read his text over (mainly the last word), and my smile can't help but grow brighter.
jeff
As I mentioned before, the fans love us too much! Let's not fight?
Fans? What fans? When have David's fans ever seen Jeff and I together?
me
i would love to know what you mean by that
jeff
Link: REUNITING WITH MY HOMETOWN BEST FRIENDS!!
I look closer at the link to one of David's vlogs he's sent me, only to see Clara and me as the thumbnail. Curiously, I press it, which launches me straight into the YouTube app.
I look at the date it's been published; 20 minutes ago. Meaning, it was posted at approximately 4:50am.
"When the fuck did he edit—never mind." I say to myself, waving it off before pressing play.
The video starts off with David's signature music along with the date and vlog number. Jonah then appears and I recognize the video right away because it's identical to the unfinished one that I watched in David's room this morning.
"Say hello to the worst bitches you'll ever meet," David announces from behind the camera as he points it at Clara and I. "My besties...or in this case, bestie, because Clara—"
"David, do you ever shut the fuck up?" Clara interrupts in fury, folding her arms across her chest in a challenging motion.
"Never for you, Clary, you should know this by now." He tells her with amusement laced in his voice. She only rolls her eyes.
He pans the camera over to me. "Lils, you love it when I talk, right?"
"Always, David." I answer sarcastically, a smile forming on my face. "I play your podcast every night before I go to bed and every morning when I wake up." He laughs at that and gives me a high five.
"This is why you're the fave." He lets me know, causing Clara to groan.
"Sorry, David, want me to suck your dick?" David bursts out laughing before the vlog cuts to the next clip, the one I've been dreading.
"Hey, guys, so I'm here with Lily, and she's gonna shoot Jeff with a paintball gun." He explains, excitedly, barely being able to hold himself together. The camera is pointed at me the whole time he speaks, my lips tugging down in a frown as I guiltily and unwillingly hold the paintball gun. "He won't expect a thing because he hasn't met Lily yet."
"No backing out now!" I say to the camera and he offers me an assuring smile.
"That's the spirit!"
I watch the entire prank unfold, from Jeff innocently introducing himself, to me assaulting him with paint and continuously apologizing.
"You motherfucka!" Jeff shouts at a laughing David as he holds his wounded area in pain.
"I'm so sorry!" I shout over the music, rushing over to him after abandoning the paintball gun somewhere.
"It's fine, you're fine." He tells me and winks down at me before David and the guys take him away to tease.
The rest of the video is David's beloved 'Ilya prank' on Clara, and it finally concludes with drunk Zane getting hurt (of course). A grand total of four minutes and twenty-one seconds of pure chaos.
After all of David's promos finish playing, I scroll down to the comment section and read away, trying to find proof to justify Jeff's hype. Other than the comments shipping Clara with Ilya and David, a majority read:
OKAY BUT JEFF AND LILY HAVE MY WIG
Anyone else peep that wink? 😏
i'm starting to think that lily and jeff are gonna save 2019
I feel like Lily and Jeff are gonna end up dating tbh
Jeff and Lily would be a powerful couple
i wish i was the paint that had the privilege of hitting jeff's leg
I feel my cheeks heat up a bit after going through everyone's very forward opinions — of course, not all of them being positive.
me
wow
that's definitely somethin'
jeff
You say that like it's a bad thing, sweetheart
Again with the pet names. Maybe the alcohol's still in his system.
me
never said it was ;)
it's almost 6am we should really stop being nocturnal and get some sleep mr. wittek
jeff
I don't mind being nocturnal if it means talking to you
me
how sweet <333
goodnight already jeffrey!!! >:((
jeff
Goodnight 🙃
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9:32am
"David, thank you so so much for making the world think I'm dating Ilya the plumber." Is the first thing I hear when I open my tired eyes. Clara's irritated voice piercing through the room. "My friends watch your dumb videos, you know."
"Oh please, Clary, what friends?" David's amused voice asks in return, you can almost hear the laughter in it.
"Can you two shut the fuck up for once?" Natalie sleepily mumbles from my left. I mentally thank her.
"I would gladly do so, but David just has to be a piece of shit like always." Clara explains, her bedhead making it hard to take her seriously.
"What are you guys going on about this time?" I demand while sitting up in bed, noticing that I never changed out of my clothes from last night.
"David's video!" Clara shouts out as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"Good morning!" A voice suddenly calls from the doorway of Natalie's bedroom and I turn to see Ilya waltzing in.
"Oh, Jesus Christ." Clara mumbles to herself in defeat.
"Nope, just me." Ilya says before examining her physical state. "Lookin' cute there, Clary." He tells her with a wink, causing her to roll her eyes and rush into the nearest bathroom.
"Can everyone please exit my room?" Natalie asks from underneath her pillow, probably in an effort to mask the noise but clearly, it didn't work.
"I think the video was a hit," Jonah says while walking in.
"Holy—since when is this an 'everyone raid Natalie's room' party?" Natalie groans while getting up, knowing that now she'll never fall back asleep.
"Since I bought this house." David replies arrogantly. "And Jonah's right," He adds, causing me to furrow my eyebrows questioningly.
"What do you mean? Aren't all of your videos 'hits'?" I ask while putting air quotes around the word.
"Well, obviously," Again with the egotistical attitude. "But this one got almost five million views in only a couple of hours. All thanks to you two."
I squint my exhausted eyes questioningly. "Who?"
"You and Clara." He says in a 'duh' tone. "Welcome to the Vlog Squad."