"So... That woman, is she really your mom?" Maverick asked as she sat next to me on the couch as I again watch tv.
It was after the dinner who Maverick cocked and it was actually good, I never pegged her as a someone who is in the kitchen, but it's win-win to me. I'm not going to starve to death.
I tore my gaze from tv and looked at the blue-eyed devil who was eyeing me curiously with her black hair falling on her forehead. The sunshine through windows straight at her face making it glow with light and her blue eyes reflecting that light took my breath away. I'm screwed. I'm really screwed. This girl is either going to be a death for me or the greatest decision in my life.
"Yup," I nodded looking at the tv screen again.
"How are you feeling about this?" She asked making me furrow eyebrows as I look up at her side again.
"Since when do we start talking about feelings?"
"Oh, C'mon, princess." She rolled her eyes with a small smile playing appearing in her lips. "I want to know you better... not This faced you put out and fool most of the people... but the real you." She mumbled slowly and I can feel my heart fastening its space.
My cheeks painted with light red color from her words. I never thought I would hear these words coming from her mouth. I didn't take my eyes not even for a second from hers not because I don't wanna, but because I can't.
Her eyes were so pulling and I fared she can what's it's running inside my mind.
I let out a yelp when I felt hands on my waist being placed and my body was lifted making me straddle Maverick legs. Her face was just inches away from mine and I needed to stop myself by not pulling her into the kiss, but I know I can't right now. If I do, I wouldn't stop and I know that the need to have this talk with each other... this suspense of not knowing where I stand is killing me.
"So?" She lifted her perfectly sculptured eyebrow.
"I don't really know... it's just, I never had mom, I mean, of course, I felt that hole inside of me and all, but as time passed I learned how to live with it... and, she's being here... I don't know, I think I still need to get that idea of her being alive." I rambled taking my eyes from her as I feared to look at them.
The fear of her seeing me talking about my feelings I kept even from my best friend scares me, but at the same time comforts me... she had something who makes me open up and that terrifies me.
The maverick grip tightened around my waist giving me strange comfort to my body. I sighed closing my eyes while enjoying feeling her being near me in a different way than sleeping. I actually don't remember since last time I had this near to being intimate... not by sleeping, but talking. Last was Josh, but he was a year and something ago, but again, he never really was here for me in a way I might want.
"Hey... look at me," she whispered softly putting a finger under my chin making me look at her blue eyes who were gazing at me softly. "I think all you need is time..."
"I guess." I nodded with a soft smile appearing on my face the one I couldn't hold back.
"You told, Sophie about us... what made you do that?"
"I don't like keeping things from my best friend." I simply shrugged placing hands on her shoulder and start playing with her hair.
I watch as her eyes hidden behind her eyelashes and she breathes out in anticipation before it opened making my breaths hitch in my throat. They were the lightest shade of blue and I can't remember if I even saw this shade even... it had something in them, but I still can't put a finger on it.
"What happening behind fewer people knows, the better?" She lifted eyebrow making me froze, but I instantly relaxed when her hand slipped under my skin and start doing soothing motions.
I can't tell her the real reason why I didn't want to tell Sophie about Maverick. She can't know she's not a first bodyguard I end up sleeping if she knows she would leave and I... I would go back to the old self, trying to numb feelings inside of me. She can't know.
"I don't care anymore," I answered and felt her hands tightening and her jaw clenching.
"You're lying... I know you're lying, princess."
"No, I am not." I shook head turning my head to the side as I tried to escape her grip, but she only tightened inching her face away from me.
With one of her hand holding me she lifted her other hand, softly brushing against my cheek making me flinch at the sudden burning feeling on my skin. If I open eyes and would give in and she would know about him and... and I don't want her to leave me, but at the same time, I don't wanna keep things from her.
"Look at my eyes and tell me that you're not lying," Maverick mumbled slowly making my heart beat faster.
I kept silent.
"Okay, let's do the other way." She whispered to herself making me look up at her and find her hardened face looking me with her tight grip around my waist holding me from running away. "Who the fuck is Elliot?"
"What?" I gasped with my throats tightening at her thought voice as his name slipped through her gritted teeth.
She can't know about him... can't she? Of course, she can't. Unless Sophie told her, but that's out of the question, Sophie wouldn't do that... she couldn't. So how the hell she knows his name... and she sounds mad... like really, really mad... I hate that.
"When you, ran out Saturday. You had a dream and you keep mumbling his name... do you sleep with him?"
"What? No!" I said loudly with my heart pounding against my chest.
How could she think like that? I mean, we don't have any other kind of relationship just sleeping around and even how much I don't that idea of her seeing others... she still can as I can too. But that doesn't mean I like... I like Maverick... and even i wouldn't cheat at her, It would still feel like cheating.
"So who is he?"
"My previous bodyguard, okay?!" I spit out loudly as the pain in my heart increased and I had a hard time to breathe.
My vision becomes blurry and I thank god when I get Maverick grip loosen up letting me go which I did by almost running to the next side of the film near the black piano who I never had time to use. Breathe. Breathe... I repeated to myself slowly take a deep breath after breath.
"He... he was around a year when I was seventeen," I added not even knowing why I telling her that if I decided not. "You're not a first bodyguard I had some kind relationship." I shut eyes tightly before open and start walking out of the room feeling the same knot in my stomach I felt on Saturday when I run away from her and my feelings.
I can't be here.
I need to breathe.
"What did we talk about not running, huh?" Maverick stopped me by putting hands around my waist from behind and pushing me against her chest.
"Let go of me." I tried to peel her hands away from me, but she was way stronger than me.
"No," she breathes out into my neck sending chills down my spine. Her voice was soft, like that anger I saw in her eyes when first asked about Elliot didn't even exist. "You're not going to run away, again. We're going to talk like two normal people."
"So talk." I snapped pushing myself away and facing her.
Maverick eyes were looking everywhere, but me with her hands on her hips and her ragged breathing. She looked scary, but her face told me a different story. Like she herself was scared of something. What she might be scared of?
"Did you loved him?" She asked with a small voice after a couple of minutes of tense silence.
"I wish I didn't." My gulped trying to hold back the tears who was burning my eyes.
We both continued to talk in the middle of the hallway. I told her whole story between me and Elliott. How we met and how I fell in love with him only realizing he might have a feeling for me too, but I guess, my intuition was wrong as that bastard slept with almost whole staff behind my back.
She told me about her... and her ex-wife. How they both had divorced because work always got in a way and they both wanted for Leo, her kid to have the environment to live so he now lives with Natalie.
It was nice to talk to. Got to know her, but we still need to talk where we both stand with each other. I know I like her and there's not any denying for that. I like her a lot, but I don't wanna be the only one who has feelings again... that shit burst a lot more than everything thinks.
"Wait... so you're saying you came here being just 16... without anyone knowing just your aunts?" I gasped as Maverick was telling her story of how she moved across the state so she could be far away from her parents.
"Yeah," She breathes out pushing herself from the wall and giving me hand to follow her back to the living room which I did. "Don't get me wrong here. I love my family... I love my brother and sisters, but we... me and my mom... never got eye to an eye."
I hummed into understanding and I sat next to her onto the couch only being pushed into the Lying position. I eyes Maverick surprised by our sudden change of position, but all she doesn't is send that smile who always makes my heart flutter and my body fill with warmth.
But what surprised me more is her hovering over me only later laying on my shoulder with her arms draping on my waist.
"What?" She asked lifting her brows. "I want to cuddle."
"I guess we learn new things about each other every day," I muttered slowly in a teasing manner, but if you listen closely you can detect shakiness in my voice.
"What did you learned?" She asked slowly slipping a hand under my shirt making goosebumps appear in my skin. I inhale sharply when she inched toward my sides and I hope she wouldn't notice because I that's the most ticklish spot ever.
"That you're a big Softie," I smirked at only earning a punch on my side. "And abusing."
We once again felt it o the comfortable silence letting us both enjoy Tuesday evening without anyone interrupting.
My fingers were gazing through her soft hair as she breathes softly against my neck with her head in between my shoulder. It was calm. We never had this. For a past month, I know Maverick we always bicker with each other or later sleeping... nothing more. Well, if we don't count random kissed here and here, but they always led to the sex.
This is different.
Good kind of different.
I felt Maverick soothing motions on my skin slow down until it stopped completely only making me realized she feel sleepy. Her breathing was deep and event making my heart do a flip of how cute she was... she looked peaceful, like the anger and sadness in her eyes today wasn't even here.
I shut my eyes took bringing Maverick even closer to myself and I felt myself as the deep stumbled started consuming me.