Assalamualaykum!
I hope you are all in the best of health and that all of you are striving towards your goals and personal development!
This chapter is very dear to me, and hopefully, to you guys at well xD. Leave me a bunch of in-line comments please! I love reading what you guys think <3
Rukhsaar's wedding dress is in the media, and I've hidden the girl's face for her privacy. But I love this dress so much.
Enjoy!
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Chapter Twenty-Four
Ayaan's POV
The next day, Aapi had all of us up and running at 7 o'clock. By the time the five ladies left in the morning, Khala had assigned all of us work to prepare the house for tomorrow's mehendi.
We stared blankly at the piles of rose and marigold garlands Fauzia and Sabrina had bought the day before.
"Iss se hum kya karenge?"
"Ghar sajayenge, aur kya? Rizwan, get the big ladder out of the storage, the garlands will have to be hung from the roof lining. Shaadi wala ghar nazar bhi toh aana chahiye." Khalu instructed, bending down to pick up one of the garlands.
"These marigold garlands need to be hung from the roof, and since you're tallest, you can get on up there." Khalu shooed me out of the door, shoving a bunch of the garlands in my arms.
I spit a petal out of my mouth, huffing.
"Huff puff nahi karna, pehle khud ki aag lagi thi, aur humse overtime karwa raha hai." Rizwan scowled playfully.
"Tameez se mere saath baahir chalo. I won't be able to hang these up alone." I made him come with me, leaving Khalu looking at the remaining decorations with a calculated look. Rizwan followed me, grumbling all the way.
Carefully, I climbed up the ladder, calling down to Rizwan. "Theek se pakro, abhi toh meri shaadi bhi nahi hui." I laughed at my own joke. Rizwan looked at me disbelieving before letting out an exaggerated laugh.
"Haha, very funny." He rolled his eyes, passing me a garland.
Slowly but surely, we hung up all the flowers, decorating the roof's lining and the windows. Even the mailbox was decorated with a few garlands of flowers.
Rizwan and I stood back under the blazing heat, admiring the work we'd done It had taken us two hours to get all of the house decorated, and it was genuinely looking like a "shaadi-wala-ghar," as Khalu had put it. Sweat dripped from my brow as I observed the handiwork.
"Wow, Maa Shaa Allah, it looks great." The man in question walked outside to inspect our work. Khalu had always had a scrutinizing gaze, but today, it seemed even more critical.
"Are you done analysing the outdoor of the house? Can we start on the indoor?" I asked dryly, a color of sarcasm tinging my voice. The girls had already decorated it partially, but there were a few things left.
Khalu glanced at his watch. "Humaira aur baaki ladkiyon ke aane mein abhi ek ghanta hai. We'll decorate as much as we can by then."
Rizwan and I picked up all the supplies we dragged out and followed Khalu back into the house. "Didn't you already get started on it?"
"Yeah but I'm an old man and there's only so much I can do." Khalu snorted, backing away from us to pick up a cup of tea. The steam coming out of it proved that he'd spent more time making tea than working on anything else.
"Accha, I'll be sure to tell Khala." I laughed, too elated to be annoyed. There was a tight bundle of nerves and excitement buried deep in my chest. Picking up a box of decorations, I started towards my room.
"Ayaan bhai, Sabrina, Sakinah and Fauzia said they want to decorate your room themselves." Rizwan stopped me. "It's a surprise for you."
I blinked at him. It was that moment that I realized how much my family was really doing to make this day as special as I or Rukhsaar had ever dreamed of. Despite the extremely short timeline, they were doing as much as they could to make this work. The realization sent a chill down my back, but warmth gathered in my chest as I looked at my brother.
He seemed to have realized where my thoughts had taken me, but before he could get a word out, we heard laughter in the main entrance.
"Didn't you say they were going to take another hour?" I glanced at Khalu who was calmly sipping from his tea.
"That's what I was told."
"Assalamualaykum!" Aapi greeted, coming into the living room, laden with a bunch of shopping bags.
I couldn't help but think of the dent Aapi had put in our account balance, even though she was normally very careful about where she personally spent money. She'd never asked us to restrain ourselves from anything we wanted, and that's probably the reason she'd splurged on my wedding.
My roaming eyes caught onto the woman who'd be my wife in the matter of days. Her face was flushed with happiness and she looked lighter than ever. She was talking about something with Khala but I couldn't tear my gaze away from how her earring moved along the smooth curve of her neck as she threw her head back to laugh or how her fingers came up to touch the new necklace, almost compulsively.
I looked away before anyone caught me staring shamelessly at her.
"The outdoor décor looks amazing." Fauzia commented with a nod of approval. She took in the unchanged walls on the inside. "Weren't you guys supposed to finish decorating this?"
"Weren't you supposed to be back in an hour?" Rizwan countered.
"Yeah, but we said that an hour ago." Sabrina rolled her eyes at her twin, setting another bag down.
"Kya le kar aaye ho tum log?" Khalu settled himself down on a chair, gesturing Khala to sit next to him.
"Shaadi ka joda, walima ka joda aur inn teenon ke kapde." Khala's voice sounded exhausted. I fetched a glass of water from the kitchen and set it down next to her.
"Apne liye kuch nahi laayi?" Khalu asked. Khala shook her head in the negative.
"Nahi, mere paas already kuch matching hai."
"Humne bohot kaha, par woh nahi maani." Aapi looked cross over it.
"Koi nahi," Khalu winked at her. I knew he'd grab something for his wife when we were out.
"Humein dikhao bhi." I rubbed my hands eagerly and sought to peer into those bags, but Sabrina stepped in between, crossing her arms over her torso.
"Bilkul nahi. Shaadi se pehle aap ne kuch nahi dekhna."
"Tum logon ke kapde toh dekh sakta hoon!" I protested. "Aur tum hi ne toh kaha tha ke Rukhsaar ka joda main pasand karoonga!"
"Nope! I changed my mind." She adamantly stood, not budging. A smug smile flitted on her face. I hated being kept in the dark, but I sent her an appeasing eye roll anyway.
"Now you guys get ready, and get your shopping done. I think we're pretty much finished here, we'll decorate the inside. Tomorrow we can make all the arrangements for the mehendi in the evening." Aapi rattled off the top of her head. We complied with her request. Rizwan and I started up the stairs, but I sent Rukhsaar a loaded look. Hoping she got the message, I started up the stairs.
Stepping into the room, I turned to the closet and picked out a shirt, eyeing the empty side that Rukhsaar hadn't filled. I stripped off the one I was wearing and put the dress shirt on.
I'd just started to button the shirt up when a knock sounded at the door. "Come in!" I called out, swiftly buttoning the shirt, leaving the top two open.
Rukhsaar stepped into the room, leaving the door cracked open. I let her take in the space, knowing that in the matter of days, this would be her new room. I wanted her to be comfortable, because between the two of us, her world was changing drastically. In fact, it already had.
Her stuff was still packed in the boxes and she hadn't had the time to come up here yesterday.
"Tumne bulaya?" I grinned as she finished her examination.
"I just wanted to ask if you if you're okay. I don't want you to be overwhelmed." I admitted. Her eyes softened as she stepped towards me, reaching out to fix my collar.
"I'm more than okay. Main bohot khush hoon Ayaan." She fiddled with my collar, smoothing it down at the edges before pulling away. A bubble of contentedness burst in my chest. "You keep asking me, but what about you?"
"What about me?"
She took a while to carefully formulate her answer. "We're only twenty, Ayaan. Don't get me wrong, I want this more than anything. This was our goal from the very start. But I don't want you to grow to regret this whirlwind marriage." She confessed, staring hard at the floor. "Hum baad mein bhi toh kar sakte hai."
I laughed, tipping Rukhsaar's chin up to meet my eyes. "Mujhe kyun afsos hone lagega? Pichle ek saal se yehi mera khwaab hai. Aankhein band karta tha, toh tumhein inn chaar deewaron mein mehsoos karta tha. Toh kya hua agar jaldi mein ho raha hai?"
She remained silent, searching my face for a hint of lie as I continued. "Yes, I will admit that Zafar and your parents were the catalyst here, but they aren't the reason. There were a million ways that I could've kept you away and safe from them, some of which are probably more effective than this. Par main yeh chahta hoon, tumhein chahta hoon main. Zindagi mein mujhe kisi aur ka haath nahi pakadna. Aur tumhein kisi aur ka haath pakadte nahi dekh sakta. If I'm very honest with you, then I feel selfish for taking this step without asking you. Aisa lagta hai..." She set her hand over my mouth before I could finish.
"Main zabardasti lafz sun'na nahi chahti tumhaare munh se." Rukhsaar warned. Her hand remained where it was, the other hand braced on my shoulder and burning its imprint through the thin material. "Tumne mujhse pooch ke kiya hai, har faisle mere saath liya hai. Agar mujhe kuch bhi theek na lage, toh main khud tumse kahoongi."
I smiled under her hand, knowing she could feel my lips curve up. She quickly retracted her hand, her face turning a fiery red.
I couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Did you get the dress you wanted?" I couldn't resist asking, weasling for a little more information.
"Yup." A mischevious grin appeared on her face and she cocked an eyebrow at me. "You know better than to try trapping me into showing you."
I let my shoulders drop dramatically, cherishing the giggle that escaped her. "Banda koshish toh kar hi sakta hai." Changing gears, I gestured towards the piles of boxes filled with her stuff. "Tum ek kaam kyun nahi karti, inn sab cheezon ko jahaan jee chahta hai laga lo. Closet mein tumhaare liye jagah bana diya hai maine."
Rukhsaar looked dubiously between the closet and her stuff. "Aa jaayega closet mein?"
"Kapde lagane hai, baaki sab idhar udhar jama do." I spread my arms out, letting a cocky grin tip my lips up. "It's your world baby, I'm just living in it."
Rukhsaar laughed at that, shaking her head at me as she moved towards the boxes. I watched her open them up, peering inside. Smiling to myself, I left the room feeling like I had just entered an alternate universe.
Rukhsaar's POV
I opened Ayaan's closet, mildly surprised at how neat and organized everything was.
A voice in my head corrected me. Ab yeh tumhaara bhi closet hai.
I smiled at the thought and began hanging up my salwar suits.
"Rukhsaar?" Aapi called out.
"Yahaan hoon!" I called back, setting down the pile of clothes. Aapi came in, surveying the mess I'd created by opening the boxes. I smiled sheepishly at her.
"I'm sorry, I'm still working on putting things away." She waved her hand dismissively.
"Koi nahi, main bas aise hi dekh rahi thi ke tum kahan chali gayi thi. Fauzia and Sabrina are looking to decorate this room."
"Par agar aaj decorate karoge toh Ayaan kahan soyega?"
Aapi laughed. "It's a little revenge Fauzia and the twins are exacting on him for making them work so hard at such little notice. He's going to take the couch."
I couldn't help but laugh, immediately feeling bad about it. Aapi must've figured out what I was thinking.
"Don't feel bad. The four of them are always finding ways to annoy each other. Aur vaise, do raaton ki toh baat hai."
I shook my head. "Ayaan was right, you have a very uncanny ability to figure out what others are thinking." Aapi grinned at that, her eye catching on something.
I turned to see what she was looking at. It was the frame of Ayaan and I that had been in my room. I had set it down next to the collective photo of all of us from Ayaan's birthday. "Ayaan had told me that this photo could go on your wall out there, but I wasn't too sure, so I'd kept it here."
"Our wall." Aapi mindlessly corrected, picking the frame up. "Aadat daal lo, ab tumhaara bhi hai yeh ghar. Tumhaara barabar ka haq banta hai har cheez par. Aur deewar par tum dono ki shaadi ki tasveerein lagegi, lekin agar tum isse lagana chahti ho, toh laga do."
"Mujhe toh apne hi ghar mein huqooq nahi diye jaate the." I smiled sadly. "Waqt lagega mujhe. Par Aapi, I'd wanted to say something to you." Suddenly, I felt nervous. "I just...main jaanti hoon ke yeh shaadi bohot hi unconventional tareeqe se ho rahi hai, par main tumhaara shukriya ada karna chahti hoon. None of you have known me for a long time, yet you've accepted me into your tight circle as if I was always part of it, and that's a feeling that I will always remain indebted to you for. I've never ever felt as warm and comforted anywhere else but here, and I am so grateful that I'm marrying into a family that has all the warmth my house was lacking."
Aapi gave me an understanding look. "We're nothing if not unconventional, and you know that. The four of us come from a home that was just as, if not less, cold than yours. I can't imagine how it must've been for you because the four of us at least had each other. You were alone. It's an honor to welcome you into our fold, and more than anything, you've returned my Ayaan's happiness to him. I have never seen him so content and relaxed, ever. In a way, I'm thankful to you for that, because I know you were the missing piece he was looking for." I looked down at my fingers, hesitant to ask her something.
"Aapi, ek baat poochoon?"
"Haan poocho." She looked expectantly at me.
"What about your missing piece?"
The smile faded off her face and her expression turned grim. Not wanting to hurt her, I quickly went to retract my words. "Agar tum jawab nahi dena chahti toh koi baat nahi."
"Nahi, you should know these things." Aapi took a seat on Ayaan's bed. My mind chided me once again.
Our bed.
"Some pieces fall into place at the right time. Shehry and I weren't at a good place to take the step he wanted us to take. I understand why he asked, and I understand the emotions behind what he wanted to do, but it's a huge decision." Aapi paused to think over her next thought. "To be honest with you, I don't think I'll marry before all three are settled, on their feet. You and Ayaan are well on your way to settling, your degrees are almost finished. Ek saal mein degree mil jaayegi aur tum dono naukri bhi karte ho. Par do hi mahinon mein, Rizwan aur Sabrina university shuru karenge. Unn dono ke liye bhi mujhe sochna hai."
"All four of us grew up well before our time. You did too, for that matter. But to me, they're still little. They're facing the repercussions of a decision I made, no matter how much I try to cushion that blow."
"In the midst of all this, there's just no room for my own marriage. Now that you're here, some of my workload will be lessened, just like it was when Ayaan started working. But that doesn't change that I'm the primary caretaker of this house. Tum chaaron abhi padh rahe ho, main tum logon ko tumhaari padhai se chheena nahi chahti."
"I've always looked up to you Aapi. Ayaan mujhe batata tha tumhaare baare mein, aur main hamesha kehti thi ke kaash mujh mein itni himmat hoti."
"Nahi Rukhsaar. Agar mere paas Ayaan, Sabrina aur Rizwan na hote, toh main bhi himmat naa juta paati. Tumne bhi meri tarah apna sab kuch qurbaan kar diya hai. Main bas ek baat ka shukar manati hoon, ke Ammi yeh sab dekhne se pehle iss duniya se chali gayi. Woh nahi seh paati."
"Aapi." I hesitated on whether to say this to her or not. "I will never be able to fully understand the strength it took you to take on the responsibility of these three kids. And I will never be able to understand the rationale behind your decisions. Lekin tumhein Shehry ka haath thaam lena chahiye." Aapi listened patiently to me, her eyes betraying how much she still loves Shehry, and how much it hurts her to be away from him. Her mouth tightened at the corners. "Main tumhein iss khushi ke mauqe pe dukhi nahi karna chahti lekin main apne aap ko rok nahi paa rahi."
"Marriage is another ballpark, one that you don't necessarily need to encounter right now. Mujhe aisa lagta hai ke Shehry tumhaari zindagi mein rehmat ban kar aaye the. It seems like fate is trying to tell you that you've worked alone long enough, now it's time for you to take the help of another."
Aapi seemed taken aback by my words, as if she hadn't thought of it that way. She sighed. "I wish it was that simple, but it's not." I knelt in front of her, taking her hands in mine.
"It is that simple, Aapi. Tum Shehry ki taraf haath badhao. Woh ab bhi tumse behadd mohabbat karte hai, Aapi. Woh aaj bhi tumhaare liye tadap rahe hai, jis tarah tum unke liye tadap rahi ho. Ab bas kar do, Aapi. Khud par zulm na karo aur Shehry ko apne qareeb bula lo. Shehry is your piece of paradise."
"Kahan se seekhi hai tumne aisi baatein?" She bumped my chin gently in a sisterly gesture that tightened my ribs around my heart.
"Tumhaare bhai se." Pride filled Aapi's gaze. I stood up. "Tum meri baat par ghor zaroor karna."
"Tum dono ki shaadi ho jaane do. Phir dekhte hai kya hota hai." Aapi confirmed nothing but I took what I could get, hoping that I'd said the right thing. "Chalo, tum jaldi se yeh sab sameto, Fauzia aur Sabrina iss kamre ko sajane ke liye bechain ho rahe hai." I laughed and mock-saluted her.
"Jo hukum aapka." I turned to picking up the clothes I'd abandoned, but before I could, Aapi enveloped me in a hug.
"Thank you." She whispered in my ear before leaving the room. I stood there with my arms still frozen at my sides.
Quickly snapping out of it, I hung the rest of the clothes up, folded some of my clothes into emptied drawers and rearranged the existing mess.
As I was fixing the final drawer, Sabrina and Fauzia bustled in with armfuls of decorations. Rizwan trailed behind them with a box I couldn't see inside. "Bhabhi, we'll take it from here."
I found no point in arguing and collected the empty boxes, moving them out of the room. Rizwan winked at me as soon as I was out of the room and shut the door. The tell-tale click of a lock came almost immediately, along with a bunch of hushed giggles.
I chuckled under my breath, thanking Allah with every breath for giving me such a loving family and praying that everything went smoothly tomorrow.
I sat on the swing Ayaan and Rizwan had set up in the backyard, decked out in the mehendi outfit Khala had bought me. It was a pale yellow anarkali dress, much simpler than what was normally worn by a bride. The lack of embellishment on that dress was clearly made up by the white flowers braided through my hair and the flower bracelets around my wrists and ankles. The dupatta was pinned to the shoulder of the dress and there were anklets bound around my ankles.
Around the swing, Fauzia had arranged many cots, topped with thin mattresses. Many people were seated upon those, including a few ladies from the desi community Aapi was well-known in. They flocked around a drum, playing traditional sangeet music while sitting cross-legged on the mattress. Shaista Aunty was amongst them while Asif Uncle was in deep conversation with Khalu near the refreshments.
Sabrina was taking pictures of everything, having roped in a friend of hers to help cover more ground. Aapi was hovering around making sure everyone had drinks and snacks with them. Fauzia was running around, making sure that the children didn't pull the decorations off. They looked gorgeous in their bright clothing.
There was happiness all around, and I couldn't have imagined myself any happier.
Lekin kaash, Amma Abba yahaan hote.
Just as quickly as that thought had come, I dismissed it. No point in depressing myself during the wedding festivities.
The ladies stopped with their song and dance very suddenly. I turned my attention towards them confusedly before I heard a louder dhol ring out suddenly. I looked up to find Ayaan smirking at me, beating the drum forcefully as he walked towards me, Rizwan and a bunch of college friends walking up behind him clapping. The boys included Shehry and Hussain who were hooting and clapping to the beat of the drum. I blushed at him staring so intently at me. He kept beating the drum until he was standing in front of me, at which point he removed the heavy instrument from around his neck, wincing slightly.
I giggled at the childish exaggeration demurely as he took his seat next to me. He leaned over me to whisper a quick compliment that had my face heating up. "You look absolutely gorgeous."
I smiled but didn't say anything back. Truth be told, Ayaan looked amazing in the yellow kurta of his.
"Rasm shuru karein?" Aapi asked, eyes twinkling merrily.
"Naik kaam mein deri kaisi." Hussain cheered. Khalu and Khala stepped up first, setting broad leaves across our palms. Scooping a dollop of mehendi from the tray set in front of us, they applied a bit of the paste to each leaf, settling their hands on our heads.
Khala picked up a sweet, first feeding it to me, then Ayaan. Khalu did the same thing, then it was Chacha's turn.
Chacha had been well unaware of the situation my parents had put me through, but as soon as he heard of it, he had gritted his teeth and apologized to me. I had stopped him from doing so but that would never absolve him of his guilt. He had readily accepted to be my wali for this marriage and had been over the moon when I'd told him about Ayaan.
"Meri bachi ko bohot khush rakhna." Chacha said to Ayaan as he fed him a piece of sweet. Ayaan smiled at him and mouthed 'Inn Shaa Allah.' Chacha turned to me, guilt and regret still present in the depths of his eyes. I tried to convey that it wasn't his fault but he simply kissed me on the forehead and stepped back.
One by one, Aapi, Rizwan, Sabrina, Shehry, Hussain and Fauzia applied the mehendi on the leaves. Each of them left a cheeky comment that had my cheeks heating up faster than an oven. Even Ayaan looked a bit red in the face himself. After everyone was done, Rizwan took the mehendi-laden leaves off our hands.
"Chalo, ab naachne ka time." Shehry yelled out. "Time for the mehendi dances! Atif, hit it!"
Atif spun a track that I presumed they'd remixed. Shehry, Hussain and Waqas began dancing, all dressed in their matching turquoise kurtas. Each of them looked dashing.
Banno, ki mehendi kya kehna
Banno, ka joda kya kehna
Banno, lage hai phoolon ka gehna
Banno, ki aankhein kajrari
Banno, lage sabse pyaari
Banno, pe jaon main vaari vaari
The track dissolved into another. I sat transfixed at how fluidly they moved, in sync with each other and with perfect expressions.
I shot a quick look at Aapi, whose eyes, despite her best interest, were glued to the guy dancing in the center.
Todh de saare bandhan tu
Todh de saare bandhan tu
Machne de paayal ka shor
Dil ke sab darwaaze khol
Dil ke sab darwaaze khol
Dekho aaye, aaye chor
The track changed again. The boys had choreographed the dance to look exactly it had in each movie.
Mehendi laga ke rakhna
Doli saja ke rakhna
Mehendi laga ke rakhna
Doli saja ke rakhna
Lene tujhe oh gori
Aayenge tere sajna
There were more hilarious dances mixed within. We laughed as I watched the three boys roll their hips comically in a feminine fashion. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Aunty mockingly smack her forehead in despair.
Tu ghanti big ben di
Poora London thumakda
Oh jaddo nachche pehn di
Poora London thumakda
The three boys pointed at me as they sang the words with the next track.
Tere maathe jhumar damke
Tere kaanon baali chamke hai re (Maahi Ve)
Tere haathon kangna khanke
Tere pairon paayal chhanke hai re (Maahi Ve)
Nainon se bole rabba rabba
Mann mein dole rabba rabba
Amrit ghole rabba rabba
Haan tu soniye
The three boys dragged in our other friends from university to join in the chorus.
Jind maahi ve, soni soni, aaja maahi ve
Everybody sing, soni soni, aaja maahi ve
Jind maahi ve, soni soni, aaja maahi ve
Everybody sing, soni soni, aaja maahi ve
Jind maahi ve, soni soni, aaja maahi ve
Everybody sing, soni soni, aaja maahi ve
That's the way, maahi ve
The extra people left the makeshift dance floor and Shehry, Hussain and Waqas concluded the dance with one of my favourite songs ever.
Aql-o-hosh na mi daanam
Hum hai dil hai aur jaanam
Bas deewangi deewangi deewangi hai
Na koi rehsang, na rehbar
Yeh ilzaam lage kis par
Bas deewangi deewangi deewangi hai
The boys ended their performance to a loud applause. Ayaan and I clapped the loudest. The track had absolutely no form to it, no order to the way the songs were arranged but it was still the most special performance I've ever seen, because I knew they'd put it together in less than a day. Shehry, still out of breath, gestured towards everyone now.
"Ab sab ko naachna padega. Saare khade ho, chalo chalo."
"Leh, yeh kya baat hui?" Rizwan protested. Mahreen dug her elbow into his side, silencing him. Shehry smirked at the gesture and motioned for Atif to play the track. Everyone started dancing in some form, enjoying themselves to the fullest.
Roop hai tera sona (sona)
Soni teri paayal
Roop hai tera sona sona
Soni teri paayal
Chhanchhana chhan aise chhanke
Kar de sab ko ghaayal
Keh raha aankhon ka kaajal
Ishq mein jeena marna...yeah!
I could feel Ayaan move slightly with the beat, almost unconsciously. I couldn't blame him. The songs were addictive. Shehry and Hussain put him out of his misery and pulled him onto the dance floor right before the chorus.
Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava...yeah!
My heart stopped in my chest right then and there as I watched my husband-to-be dance his heart out. My inner Bollywood fangirl screamed and shouted in Ayaan's favour. He tipped his chin challengingly at me.
I smirked inwardly, because what he didn't know was that I had taken dance for six years before stopping. It had been my escape for a while.
I caught Aapi's eye, who gestured me to go out onto the floor. I hesitated, shy in the presence of all the elders. Sabrina and Fauzia clasped my hands, making the decision for me and dragging me to the floor.
Throwing all my inhibitions out of the window, I danced the next sect of lyrics. The surprised look on Ayaan's face was priceless, and I hoped Sabrina's friend had captured it.
Roop hai mera sona (sona)
Soni meri paayal
Roop hai mera sona sona
Soni meri paayal
Chhanchhana chhan aise chhanke
Karde sab ko ghayal
Shehry and Hussain popped up besides me, dancing to the next lyric. The embellishments on my anklets seemed to clink together in tune with the music.
Hey, keh raha hai aankhon ka kaajal
Ishq mein jeena marna
Everybody!
Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava...yeah!
Somewhere along the line, a circle had formed, and now, only youngsters were dancing to the track while the elder guests were clapping along with the beat, swaying slightly. Aapi and Fauzia, looking quite like twins, jumped into the middle, dancing the next lyrics well in sync with each other. Shehry's eyes remained fixated on Aapi as his dancing faltered for a split second.
Maahiya ve aaja maahi, maahiya ve aaja
Maahiya ve aaja maahi, maahiya ve aaja
Maahiya ve aaja maahi, maahiya ve aaja
Maahiya ve aaja maahi, maahiya ve aaja
Most of the elders started dancing in between them surprisingly. I clapped and laughed out loud at it. Somehow, my mind registered that this must be the weirdest wedding party anyone had ever seen, and I was the weirdest bride ever.
Aaja gori nachle, aye shava
Nachle ve nachle, aye shava
Arre aaja gori nachle, aye shava
Aye nachle ve nachle, aye shava
Ayaan took it upon himself to circle me with the next lyric, having sworn to turn me into a tomato.
Dekha tenu pehli pehli baar ve
Hone laga dil beqaraar ve
Rabba mainu ki ho gaya
Dil jaaniye, haye mainu ki gaya
I returned his unspoken challenge and spun around until he was in the center and I was dancing around him, the rest of the guests looking on amusingly. My cheeks were still aflame but the second our eyes locked, the world around us disappeared and suddenly, it was just the two of us. I cherished the smitten, content look on his face as I danced.
Sunke teri baatein soni yaar ve
Maahi mainu, tere naal vi pyaar ve
Haaye main marr jawaan
Dil jaaniye, haye main marr jaawan
Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava
Bhangda ve Shava Shava...yeah!
We kept dancing to the Punjabi beats until Rizwan, Sabrina and Ayaan spun Aapi into the center of circle. Ayaan grasped my wrist and pulled me beside him. I immediately understood what they were going to do. The four of us danced in a circle around Aapi, the gesture bringing tears to nearly everyone's eyes.
Inn qadmon mein saansein vaar de,
Sab se bhi zyaada, tujhe pyaar de
Rab mainu maaf kare,
Rabba khairya, haye mainu maaf kare.
Aapi's eyes glistened as a wide smile stretched on her face. Her face had turned red with the attention. We came towards her as she sang the next lyric in her melodious voice.
Tum toh meri jind meri jaan ve
Meri tu zameen hai, aasmaan ve
Tujh bin main ki karaan
Rabba khairya, haye ve main ki karaan
I stepped back as the four siblings clung to each other. I had caught a glimpse of Shehry's soft expression as he looked at them. It was as if his heart had never broken.
Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava...yeah!
Shehry and Hussain took their places next to me during the final encore of the song.
Roop hai tera sona (sona)
Soni teri paayal
Roop hai tera sona sona
Soni teri paayal
Chhanchhana chhan aise chhanke
Kar de sab ko ghaayal
Keh raha aankhon ka kaajal
Ishq mein jeena marna...yeah!
Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava
Bhangda ve Shava Shava...bhangda!
Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava
Mahiya Say Shava Shava
Bhangda ve Shava Shava...bhangda!
The song ended, leaving everyone breathless. I looked around, surveying everyone's faces as I returned to my seat, well out of breath. There was no judgement or misery on anyone's faces. Everyone looked so alive and happy that it felt surreal.
I myself felt so liberated. I hadn't danced in years, and definitely not to cheesy Bollywood. This was one song I'd always imagined myself dancing to. Ayaan had fulfilled one of my filmy wishes without even trying.
Imagine how much he could fulfill by trying.
I smiled to myself at the thought.
Ayaan took his seat next to me, clasping my hand where it was resting on the bench. His face was just as flushed with happiness and exertion as mine was.
"I don't think I've ever seen everyone so happy." Ayaan looked around, tracing his thumb in idle circles on the back of my hand.
"You know what makes our relationships work?" I said randomly, my voice a tad louder than a whisper. Ayaan looked taken aback by the sudden topic but nodded for me to continue.
"Because we know what it means to have them broken. Because we're willing to make things work. Look around, at the décor, food, guests. No one could guess that this entire function came together in less than 48 hours. People invest months and months into a single, small function, to make every detail so perfect. Our mehendi is perfect because it's real. It's not orchestrated. Everyone here has a relationship with us that can never be orchestrated."
"Sahi baat hai." Ayaan paused. "Yeh achanak se yaad kaise aaya tumhein?"
"Yaad nahi aaya, bas yunhi soch rahi thi." Ayaan laughed low in his throat.
"Sochna band karo, aur enjoy karo. Mehendi dobara thodi na lagni hai tumhaare haathon mein." I gasped.
"Kyun nahi lagegi? Main toh lagwaongi. Mehendi ka itna shoq jo hai!"
Ayaan facepalmed. "Arre pagli, mere naam ki mehendi dobara nahi lagegi na." There was a whine in his tone. Feeling mischevious, I leaned towards him and modulated my voice into something subtly low and smooth.
"Aaj ke baad, jab bhi mere haathon mein mehendi lagegi, tumhaare naam ki toh lagegi." Ayaan turned his face towards me, a wide grin spread across his face.
"Aaj ke baad kyun? Aaj se kyun nahi?" He whispered.
Distantly, I heard the click of a shutter, snapping me out of the moment. Sabrina was standing right in front of us, smirking down at her camera. She winked at us before flouncing off to capture something else.
I laughed lightly before moving away from Ayaan to look around. Aapi was coming towards me, Sabrina and Fauzia side-by-side.
"Chalo Rukhsaar, haathon mein mehendi laga dete hai. Ayaan, jaa kar mardon ke saath ghul milo." Aapi ordered him.
"Par Aapi, mujhe yaheen rehna hai." Aapi looked at him exasperatedly.
"Abhi yahaan auratein bethengi. Hum Rukhsaar aur baaki ladkiyon ke haathon mein mehendi laga rahe hai, tumhaara koi kaam nahi hai yahaan pe. Jao, dafa karo khud ko." He made a face but with one of Aapi's infamous stern looks, he shot a reluctant look at me and joined Khalu and Asif Uncle.
"Baapre, Ayaan bhai toh aise reaction de raha hai jaise hum hamesha ke liye Bhabhi chheen-ne wale hai uss se." Sabrina looked at him go with awe, shaking her head at her brother. I blushed, grinning at my hands. Aapi raised my chin, her eyes twinkling.
"Maa Shaa Allah, Allah tumhaare chehre pe hamesha aisi hi khushi banaye rakhe." I smiled at her, feeling the heat spread to my ears.
In a quick flurry of activity, women flocked around the swings, settling themselves on the cots arranged around me. Aapi and Sabrina settled me on one of the bigger cots, arranging my dress around me carefully and covering it with a white sheet. I held my arms around on both sides, where two mehendi artists were waiting with their cones in hand.
They instantly moved to set my arms on top of pillows. My body gave a slight jerk as the cold mehendi fell on top of my overheated skin. The late June sun was beating down upon us, but it wasn't sweat-your-makeup-off hot, thankfully.
The artists began decorating my hands with the brownish-green paste, scribing intricate bridal designs. I'd only seen such pretty designs in magazines and on the internet.
"Mera naam likha hai?" I startled at the deep voice behind me. The mehendi artist quickly removed the cone to avoid ruining the design at my sudden movement.
"Ayaan!" I hissed, twisting slightly to glare at him. His mouth was curled into a smirk as he tried to peer over my shoulder. The women sitting with us were looking at us fondly, but I could feel the embarrassment creeping up my neck. "Abhi toh unhone ek inch mehendi bhi nahi lagayi, dafa ho jao."
"Excuse me, yeh kya ho raha hai?" Rizwan cleared his throat exaggeratingly, snapping our attention to him. He and Mahreen stood in front of us, arms crossed.
"Khade khade apni mehbooba ke haathon mein apna naam dhoondha jaa raha hai." Mahreen hummed, her tone syrupy. Suddenly, her demeanor took a complete 180 turn and she jabbed her finger in the direction where Shehry, Hussain and a few university friends were talking. "Yahaan se jao. Rasm ke mutabiq filhaal tum apna naam nahi dhoondh sakte." Rizwan looked at her admiringly before shifting his gaze to look at Ayaan smugly.
"Main bada hoon tumse!" Ayaan protested as Mahreen literally hauled him by the arm to the rest of the boys. Giggles and laughs sounded as the rest of the party watched on.
"Harkatein toh bachon wali hai." She scoffed and walked back towards me. Ayaan pouted from behind her, ignoring the playful jabs the rest of the men were giving him.
Rizwan was floored by this performance of hers and opened his mouth to compliment her, but before he could get a syllable out, she hushed him with the same finger-jabbing. "Aap bhi jaayein. Chalein, hawa aane dein." That set off more laughter.
Poor Rizwan's mouth dropped completely open and smile dropped as fast as it had come with Mahreen's blatant refusal to give him an inch. Mahreen's mouth twitched at the corners, but before she let the full-blown smile ruin the drama, she flipped her hair and turned away with a haughty air, strutting back to us. She tossed a wink at me.
I laughed and shook my head at her.
"Bechaara."
"Nuh-uh Bhabhi." Sabrina immediately disagreed. "Aap befikre rahiye, iss ghar mein koi bhi bechaargi ki haalat mein nahi hai."
"Waise aap badi kismat wali hai." The lady decorating my right arm said. I shot a quick look at Ayaan and nodded at her. Briefly, the past year flashed in front of me.
"Alhamdulillah, woh toh main hoon."
After everyone had fallen asleep, I found myself still awake. The mehendi had been removed my hands long ago, and despite it being chemical-free, the initial color itself had been very dark.
"Arre wah Bhabhi! Ayaan bhai toh tumse bohot pyaar karte honge."
I smiled, hearing Sabrina's voice in my head.
Tumhaara Ayaan bhai mujhse itna pyaar karte hai ke mujhe hairaaniyat hoti hai.
I sat on the ground, knees drawn up to my chest and my back against the side of the bed. My hair was pleated and thrown over one shoulder, strands slipping out of the braid and I was clad in a simple salwar kameez.
I sat with my hands straight out in front of me, forearms balanced on my thighs. the only light coming from the full moon. The design was a heavy bridal one, and the color stood out against my paler skin.
I found my gaze wandering back to where Ayaan's name was written on my right hand. It was written twice, once in Urdu, and his first initial in English. That had been Mahreen's idea, and we'd run with it.
I could hardly believe that this was happening.
For the strangest reason, I felt like crying. Emotion had stuck itself fast in my ribcage and now I felt like everything around me was suffocating. The juxtaposition to my actual state of mind was unsettling. I was so happy, yet so sad at the same time.
I got up and walked out to the living room, stopping short when I saw Ayaan fast asleep on the couch.
I leaned against the doorway with my arms folded, looking blankly at his figure bundled up in blankets, lightly snoring away.
His face was completely relaxed, a small smile shadowing his mouth, even in sleep. Stubble dotted his jaw and his hair was completely ruffled from tossing and turning.
Uncurling my right hand, I looked at his name.
That was my undoing. The dam of tears I'd been holding back broke through, falling silently down my cheeks. I clapped a hand over my mouth, not wanting to wake him, and rushed past him to the back door.
Stumbling outside, I gasped, drawing cold air into my lungs and finally freely crying.
I cried so hard for what felt like forever. The worst part was that I didn't even know why I was crying.
Straightening up, I wiped my face and looked up at the sky.
"Ya Allah, mujhe nahi pata ke hum jo bhi kar rahe hai, woh hamare liye sahi hai ya nahi. Kal main Ayaan ke naam se judh jaaongi, aur Amma Abba ko pata bhi nahi hai. Main jaanti hoon ke waalidein ka darja bohot ooncha hai Teri adaalat mein, par main kya karoon?"
Maybe this was why I was feeling so emotional. Yesterday, Ayaan had come to me with one of the cards and asked me if I wanted him to send it to my parents. I had told him not to, but now, I wasn't so sure.
I was deathly terrified that not getting my parents' blessing was going to curse our marriage in some way.
Suddenly, an idea came to me. I looked back up at the sky before rushing back in.
The jaa-namaaz was still spread out on the ground. I wrapped my dupatta over my head and prayed two raka'at Istikharah namaz.
Lifting my hands to offer dua, I closed my eyes, a lone tear escaping my eye.
"Ya Allah, Tu hi Rahman hai, Tu hi Rahim hai. Tera jitna ehsaan hai Tere bande pe, utna zyaada hai. Main nahi jaanti ke hum jo bhi kar rahe hai woh sahi hai ya ghalat par Tu Al-Alim hai. Tujhe apne bandon ki dil ki har baat pata hai. Kya main sahi kar rahi hoon? Mere maa-baap ko khabar na karte hue? Koi ishaara de do mere Rabb. Tu hi Maalik hai mere Rabb, Tu hi Azeem hai."
I ran my hands over my face, instantly feeling lighter. Whatever had been troubling me before wasn't troubling me now and there could be no greater sign than that.
I opened my hand a last time to look at his name and smiled.
Ayaan's POV
I stood in front of the mirror, blankly staring at the ring box in my hand. The diamonds twinkled under the overhead lights.
Today, I was going to marry the love of my life. It hadn't sunk in completely yet.
Aaj mera uss se nikaah ho jaayega.
I was decked out in my groom's suit. All that was left was the shawl I was supposed to set on my shoulder.
A knock rattled the door. I called for the person to come in, shutting the box and slipping it into my pocket.
It was Aapi, carrying her other clothes. Sabrina, Rizwan and Fauzia hadn't let me go back to my room, so I was getting ready in Aapi's room.
"Taiyaar ho gaye?" Aapi caught sight of me and a wide smile broke out on her face. She looked gorgeous in her dress, which I assumed was matching Rukhsaar's. "Maa Shaa Allah." She swiped a finger under her eye for black kajal before placing a dot underneath my ear. I shook my head at the dramatic superstition and held the shawl out to her.
"Bas yeh shawl reh gaya." She studied my face for a split second before picking up a safety pin from her dresser.
"Kya soch rahe ho?" Aapi asked, taking the shawl from me and pleating it. All the while, she watched me struggle to find words.
"Aapi, main aaj itna khush hoon ke...samajh nahi aata. Aaj Ammi bohot yaad aa rahi hai, na jaane kyun."
"Yaad iss liye aa rahi hai kyun ki aaj tumhaari zindagi ka bohot ahemtareen din hai." Aapi set the pleated the shawl on my shoulder and pinned it in place. "Toh kya hua agar woh jismaani taur pe maujood nahi hai? Hamari rooh mein toh basti hai woh. Ammi ne tum dono ko bohot duayein di hongi."
I smiled, feeling my anxiety dissipate.
"Rukhsaar taiyaar ho gayi?"
"Haan, Sabrina finishing touches laga rahi hai." Aapi mocked Sabrina's air, laughing as she did so. I chuckled, looking more carefully at her.
Aapi's hair was straightened and left open. Her dupatta was set and pinned carefully on her head and she was wearing long earrings matching the dress. Short strands of her hair slipped past the dupatta and she was wearing more makeup than she normally did. The dress looked gorgeous on her but all together, Aapi looked ethereal.
"Lagta hai tum par bhi Sabrina ne jaadu ki chhari chalayi hai. Bohot khubsoorat lag rahi ho, Maa Shaa Allah."
She chuckled at that, pinching my cheek. "Ab tum meri baat suno. Aaj ke baad, Rukhsaar ka naam tumse judh jaayega. Yeh sun'ne mein bohot accha lagta hai, par waqai bohot badi zimmedaari hoti hai. Ladkiyan sab kuch chod kar kisi aur ke ghar mein daakhil hoti hai, aur Rukhsaar toh pehle se hi apna sab kuch chod aayi hai."
She fixed the folds on the dupatta, not meeting my eyes as she spoke. "Vaise, mujhe pata hai ke mujhe zaroorat nahi hai yeh sab kehne ki, par agar aaj Ammi hoti, toh tumhein yehi kehti."
"Shaadi se manind yeh hai ke tum aur Rukhsaar ek doosre ke barabar ho. Tum dono ek doosre ke dost ho, humsaaye ho, humsafar ho. Yeh kabhi bhi mat sochna ke tum mard ho toh tumhaari ehmiyat iss rishte mein zyaada hai. Bohot aise mard dekhe hai Ayaan, tumne bhi aur Rukhsaar ne bhi."
"And the most important thing you need to remember is that the work two people put in a marriage will never be 50-50. Some days, you might need to put in 80% for her 20% and other days, she might need to put in 75% for your 25%. Collectively, though, you're equals. It can't only be one person putting in effort. That's how relationships work, you have to be able to work things out with your significant other, because not everyone has the same mental capacity every day. Samjhe?"
Aapi now looked up at me. I was alarmed to see a sheen covering her eyes.
"Tum ro kyun rahi ho?" I cupped her face, swiping my thumbs under her eyes. She gave me a watery smile.
"Bas, main aaj bohot khush hoon." She reached up to place her hand on my head. I smiled back at her.
"Tum befikre raho, Aapi. Rukhsaar ko bohot khush rakhoonga aur Inn Shaa Allah, hum dono tumhein bhi khush rakhenge." I paused, remembering what I'd initially wanted to ask. "Aapi, tum Rukhsaar se mili?"'
"Haan abhi ussi ke paas se ho kar aa rahi hoon."
"Woh khush hai?" My voice was not more than a whisper, but suddenly, all I could think about was pulling her away from her house and asking her to marry me. The insecurity gripped at my lungs, stealing the air out of them and effectively wrapping slimy fingers around my throat.
Aapi observed me for a long moment before pushing my shoulders to sit me down on the bed. She knelt before me, balancing herself with her palms flat on my knees. I tried to focus on Aapi's nimble touch rather than the consuming thoughts that threatened to pull me under.
"Aurat jab khush hoti hai na, toh chahe woh zubaan se zaahir kare na kare, uski aankhein sab kuch keh deti hai. Aur aaj, uski aankhein sukoon, khushi aur mohabbat ke ilaawa aur kuch nahi keh rahi. Gham, ranj, dukh, kuch bhi nahi hai unn aankhon mein." Breathing came a little easier to me after that. Aapi stayed with me until the fingers unwrapped themselves from my throat.
I took a deep breath before looking at Aapi.
"Main sahi kar raha hoon na Aapi?" Aapi looked mildly alarmed at the questions.
"Tumhein kya lagta hai?" She asked softly. That was Aapi's way. She'd always let us make our own decisions, only speaking up when she found something that wouldn't benefit us. In that way, she helped us learn how to make decisions on our own.
I think she'd done it so we wouldn't have to learn the hard way. Aapi had learned how to make the right decisions the hard way, and I knew that she wanted us to learn from our own mistakes.
"Iss se zyaada sahi mujhe aur kuch nahi lagta."
Aapi smiled. "Toh phir, bas. Ghalat hone ka sawal hi paida nahi hota." She stood up and smoothened her dress out.
"Chalo, masjid jaane ka time ho gaya hai." I stood to walk outside, but she stopped me in my tracks. "Arre, aap kahan jaa rahe hai janaab? Pehle Rukhsaar ko gaadi mein bethaayenge phir aapko bulaayenge."
"Come on yaar, abhi bhi nahi dekh sakta main usse?" I whined.
"Nahi." She teased cheekily. "Tum dono alag jaa rahe ho. Main aur Rizwan tumhaare saath jaa rahe hai. Sabrina aur Fauzia Rukhsaar ke saath jaa rahe hai, Fauzia ki gaadi mein. Sabrina and her friend need to set up for photography as well, so they're preparing to leave early."
"Tauba hai." I plopped back down on the bed grumpily. She giggled slightly at me before leaving, shutting the door behind her with an ominous click.
Aapi drove us to the masjid. The sun had begun to set, casting a yellow glow over everything.
We'd decided to keep the nikaah after Maghrib, before the jamaat prayer. The maulvi was a special friend of Khalu's and had helped us set everything up for the big day. As we neared the entrance, a resolved calm settled over me, and the earlier bundle of nerves completely dissipated. I could see Sabrina and her friend standing at the entrance, tinkering with their cameras and tripods, ready to take pictures.
Aapi stopped the car in front of them. "Tum aur Rizwan jao, main park kar ke Rukhsaar ke paas chali jaaongi, toh tab hi mulaaqat hogi."
I nodded at her, looking up at the looming mosque before opening the car door.
"Bismillah." I whispered, as I got out of the car. Immediately, Sabrina started taking pictures as Rizwan came to stand at my side.
"Zaroorat hai itni saari tasveeron ki?" I whispered to Rizwan from the side of my mouth. He nudged me not-so-gently on the shoulder before rolling his eyes.
"Usse apna shoq poora karne do. Chalo andar." He said in a mildly scolding tone, leading me inside.
Shehry, Hussain, Waqas and Atif were already there when I entered, talking amongst themselves. The minute they caught sight of me, Shehry whistled lowly and Hussain bounded over to me, trying to respect that we were in a masjid.
"Assalamualaykum!" Hussain greeted cheerfully. "Maa Shaa Allah, Maa Shaa Allah." He teased, pretending to touch the corner of his eye for kajal and moving to add the "tikka" under my ear. I laughed quietly and indulged him.
"Aapi ne pehle hi nazar utaar di hai, par tum bhi apna shoq poora kar lo."
Shehry and Waqas took me by arm and led me over to one side of a platform covered with a mattress and white sheet. Down the center of the wide mattress was a sheer red sheet, separating the men from the women. I drank in the rest of the decorations around the interior of the mosque.
There were vases of flowers placed around the mattress and the walls of the hall were draped in sheer red fabric. The dimming light outside meant that the only sources of light were the chandeliers that hung from the ceiling of the hall, casting a dim yellow glow over all the decorations.
The hall had been decorated in shades of red, white and beige, and it looked gorgeous.
"Betho yahaan." We sat on the mattress, the rest of the men flocking around me. I sat with my back straight, not an ounce of fear or apprehension making me second-guess my intentions. Khalu approached me with the maulvi. Rukhsaar's Chacha was by his side too. I shook his hand and greeted him respectfully. Chacha clapped a hand on my shoulder, turning my attention towards him.
"Main Rukhsaar ke liye kuch bhi nahi kar paaya. Lekin, mujhe fakhr hai ke usne tumhein chuna." He smiled gratefully at me. I smiled back and gripped his hand.
"Aap aaj yahaan aaye hai, yehi Rukhsaar ke liye bohot badi baat hai." Chacha swiped a tear from the corner of his eye. Khala and Khalu looked at me with pride in their eyes.
"Dulhan ko bulaaye." The maulvi was a kind, weathered old man, holding a well-used copy of the Qur'an in his right hand.
A few minutes after he'd said that, the doors in front of me opened.
Aapi and Fauzia were holding a red dupatta above Rukhsaar's head from the front two corners while Mahreen and Sabrina had hold of the back. The red dupatta obscured my view of her, but it might as well have not been there.
The second I laid eyes on Rukhsaar, I knew the image would be printed in my mind forever. Whatever breath I had left in my lungs whooshed out in one single motion.
She was dressed in the prettiest white, gray and red dress I had ever seen in my life. I couldn't see her face yet, due to the long dupatta shielding her face. The mehendi designs on her hands had darkened considerably and stood out starkly against her lightly tanned skin. A few bangles decorated her arms, clinking together with each slow step she took towards me.
The only sign of her nervousness was how tightly she'd fisted the sides of her dress to hold the ends up.
I couldn't help the rush of tears that came to my eyes when I saw her walking towards me. An eon of a journey had passed between us, and there was still so far to go, but right here, I could see my future in her form.
"Moo toh band karo uncle." Shehry whispered. I quickly shut my mouth, a flush crawling up my neck.
Aapi and Fauzia settled Rukhsaar on the mattress, directly in front of me. Khala and Mahreen spread his dress around her. Sabrina ran off to get her camera, while Khala replaced her spot on the mattress.
"Au'dhu billa-hi minas-shaitaan nir-rajim. Bismillah hir-rahman nir-rahim." Maulvi Sahab began to pray. There was a rustle of clothing as everyone scrambled for their head coverings. I pulled my white handkerchief out of my pocket and tied it on my head, covering my hair and lowering my gaze to the junction where the red curtain and white mattress met. The rest of the men replicated this, while the women had already covered their hair with their scarves.
Maulvi Sahab went through the customary prayers and read a few verses from the Qur'an before turning towards Rukhsaar.
"Rukhsaar Atif Siddiqui, bint-e-Atif Siddiqui aapka nikaah Ayaan Nadeem Khan wald Nadeem Khan se saat hazaar saat dollar sikka-e-raizul-waqt haq mahr muqamal kiya gaya hai. Kya aapko yeh nikaah qubool hai?"
"Qubool hai." Rukhsaar's soft voice was heavy, the way it got when she got too emotional.
I promise to keep you safe from all harm.
"Rukhsaar Atif Siddiqui, bint-e-Atif Siddiqui aapka nikaah Ayaan Nadeem Khan wald Nadeem Khan se saat hazaar saat dollar sikka-e-raizul-waqt haq mahr muqamal kiya gaya hai. Kya aapko yeh nikaah qubool hai?"
"Qubool hai."
I promise to fulfill all my obligations as a faithful husband.
"Rukhsaar Atif Siddiqui, bint-e-Atif Siddiqui aapka nikaah Ayaan Nadeem Khan wald Nadeem Khan se saat hazaar saat dollar sikka-e-raizul-waqt haq mahr muqamal kiya gaya hai. Kya aapko yeh nikaah qubool hai?"
"Qubool hai." Her voice gave out by the time the maulvi asked her the third time. I could see her shoulders shaking as she cried silently. My heart clenched in my chest.
I promise to love you till my last breath.
Rukhsaar's POV
A chorus of "Maa Shaa Allah" rang out amongst the wedding party as the maulvi approached me with the marriage contract. Khala gave me a decorated pen to sign my name with.
I signed the nikaahnama with trembling hands, feeling my heart fill with so much happiness that I feared it would burst.
The maulvi turned towards Ayaan, whose gaze I could feel burning through the barriers between us.
"Ayaan Nadeem Khan, wald Nadeem Khan, aapka nikaah Rukhsaar Atif Siddiqui, bint-e-Atif Siddiqui se saat hazaar saat dollar sikka-e-raizul-waqt haq mahr muqamal kiya gaya hai. Kya aapko yeh nikaah qubool hai?"
"Qubool hai." Ayaan's voice was strong and steady.
I promise to support you as a dutiful wife.
"Ayaan Nadeem Khan, wald Nadeem Khan, aapka nikaah Rukhsaar Atif Siddiqui, bint-e-Atif Siddiqui se saat hazaar saat dollar sikka-e-raizul-waqt haq mahr muqamal kiya gaya hai. Kya aapko yeh nikaah qubool hai?"
"Qubool hai."
I promise to fulfill all my obligations towards your family.
"Ayaan Nadeem Khan, wald Nadeem Khan, aapka nikaah Rukhsaar Atif Siddiqui, bint-e-Atif Siddiqui se saat hazaar saat dollar sikka-e-raizul-waqt haq mahr muqamal kiya gaya hai. Kya aapko yeh nikaah qubool hai?"
"Qubool hai." His voice remained steady, but I could hear the emotion behind it. With those two words, Ayaan sealed us together as man and wife.
I promise to love you with my every breath.
The curtain between us dropped.
Aapi and Fauzia hugged me from both sides, wishing me congratulations. I looked up through my veil at Ayaan, who was being hugged collectively by all five boys on that side. The maulvi brought the nikahnama over to him and he penned his signature on the document.
We put our hands up to pray for our married life.
I closed my eyes and poured my heart into the prayer.
Ya Allah, Tera jitna shukriya ada karoon, utna kam hai. Hum sab ki khushiyan barqaraar rakhna mere Rabb aur hum par kabhi koi aanch na aane dena. Har buri nazar se bacha ke rakhne mere Rabb. Humein aur zalzale mat dikhaana mere Rabb. Hamare liye wohi likhna hamari kismat mein jo hamare liye behtar ho.
Ameen.
"Abhi munh dikhayi!" Fauzia and Rizwan jumped up from their seats and dragged a huge mirror that had been leaning against the wall.
"Hum sab ki munh dikhayi hai kya? Itna bada mirror kon laata hai?" Hussain asked snarkily. Fauzia glared at him and flipped her hair over her shoulder.
"Hum laate hai, aur kon?" She huffed. Rizwan and her lowered the mirror between us. Now I saw the purpose of a big mirror. The width traversed the distance between the two of us.
Khala got up and covered the two of our heads with an emerald green dupatta. From behind me, I heard a bunch of giggles before they pulled my veil back, revealing my face to him. In the background, incessant camera shutters went off as the two photographers started clicking the photos.
We both leaned forward a bit, so we could see each other's faces for the first time as husband and wife.
I looked into the eyes of my husband through the mirror, seeing only love and gratification in them. A thin sheen of emotion covered both of our eyes.
Ayaan looked up to make sure that the dupatta was opaque before mouthing to me. "You look sexy."
My mouth dropped open.
Ayaan's shoulders shook with mirth before he winked. "Beautiful." He mouthed, a genuine look replacing the mischief.
"Ho gayi baatein?" Shehry's loud voice came from outside. My face turned a fiery red. I'd forgotten that we weren't alone. The drape was removed from the top of our heads. I lowered my head and focused my gaze on my fingers.
My mind was still reeling, but after praying Istikhara last night, the heaviness that had plagued me for the past four days had lifted.
"Chalo, rukhsati ka waqt aa gaya hai." Aapi's gentle voice brought me back to earth. I looked over at her for a long moment.
Uska dil nahi jalta hoga? Apni khoyi hui mohabbat ko parde ke uss paar dekh kar, kisi aur ke nikaah mein? Jahaan main aur Ayaan bethe hai, wahaan Shehry aur Aapi ko bethna chahiye. Uska dil nahi jalta hoga?
"Kya hua?" Aapi smiled.
"Kuch nahi." I snapped out of it, and with the help of Aapi and Fauzia managed to straighten up and stand. Khala fluttered around me, straightening the dress.
Chacha stood at the door of the masjid, with a wrapped Qur'an in his hand. The warm fatherly smile directed towards me brought tears to my eyes. Ayaan walked over to me, and taking each of our hands in her own, Khala placed my hand in his.
"Hamesha khush raho." She blessed us with lots of prayers.
Ayaan gripped it tightly, releasing a whoosh of breath before curving his lips into a languid smile.
"Chalein, Mrs. Rukhsaar Ayaan Khan?" He whispered lowly, so only the two of us could hear. A bubble of pure unadulterated joy burst in my chest.
We began walking towards the door, my one free hand holding my dress up while the other was held tight in Ayaan's grip.
Khalu stopped Chacha as he went to raise the Qur'an above our heads.
"Aap Rukhsaar ko gaadi mein bitha kar rukhsat karein. Main isse pakadta hoon." Khalu took the Qur'an out of Chacha's hand and urged him towards us. Chacha stepped towards me with the same fatherly stance. Ayaan let go of my hand and stepped back.
"Tum aisa mat samajhna ke tumhaare sir par baap ka saaya nahi hai, meri jaan." He said, eyes sparkling with genuine joy. "Main hamesha tumhaare liye haazir hoon aur agar tumhaari chachi zinda hoti, toh woh bhi bohot duayein deti tum dono ko."
"Thank you Chacha." I gripped his arm, grinning up at him with teary eyes. He replicated the expression and led me through the door while Khalu held the Qur'an over our heads.
Chacha helped me down to Aapi's car, which had now been decorated with flowers. Opening the door, I managed to seat myself in, dragging the folds of the dress with me.
Ayaan slid in on the other side, keeping a decent distance between the two of us. His hand found mine across the seat.
I hid my wide grin and looked out of the window.
When we got home, Ayaan gestured for me to wait. Everyone else who hadn't fit in Aapi's car was already waiting there. The same Qur'an was still in Khalu's hand. This time, only Sabrina was there waiting to take pictures. I assumed she must've sent Layla, her friend, back to her own home.
Ayaan opened my door, dropping his hand in front of me. I settled my hand in his and got out of the car, adjusting the dress as I did so.
"Tum pehle iss ghar mein ek dost ban kar daakhil hui thi. Aaj tum hamari bahu ban kar daakhil hogi." Khala rested her hand on my cheek, happiness evident in the lines of her face.
Sabrina was at work capturing every moment. Khala held the Qur'an over my head once more as I stepped into the house with my right foot.
"Ab yahaan beth jao." They sat us down next to each other on the couch. Everyone else stood in front of us, staring. Ayaan and I exchanged a look before he broke the silence.
"Tum sab humein ghoor kyun rahe ho?"
"Hum tujhe ghoor rahe hai. Tune Rukhsaar ko munh dikhayi nahi di." Hussain tapped his chin with his index finger, looking on with disapproval. I opened my mouth to protest but stopped with Aapi's quick shake of her head.
Ayaan laughed. "Toh abhi de dete hai, uss mein kya hai." I looked at him with disbelief as he reached into his pocket.
He pulled out a ring box and moved off the couch to kneel on one knee. My jaw slacked as hooting, whistling and clapping echoed off the walls. Flames rushed to my cheeks.
"Mrs. Rukhsaar Ayaan Khan, you've made me the happiest man in the world today by marrying me. Will you do me the honor of wearing my ring on your finger?" Ayaan improvised the classic proposal and opened the ring box. There were two matching wedding rings in the box. I chuckled at the theatrics and held my left hand out in front of him.
He slid the ring on my finger amidst more clapping and hooting. Sabrina stood at our side and told us to hold the pose.
She took a few pictures like that before adjusting us slightly on the couch. Those were the first orchestrated photos we'd taken in all the wedding celebrations.
"Sabrina, Rukhsaar ko toh pehnane do." Everyone laughed at the sheepish excitement painted on Sabrina's face.
"How do you still have memory left?" Atif wondered out loud.
"Oh, I don't. This is my second SD card." She grinned.
Ayaan nudged her arm, smiling up at her standing form. "Thank you."
Sabrina turned towards him, narrowing her eyes into slits. "Aapi dekho na, yeh thanks bol raha hai." I laughed as Ayaan looked at Aapi, bewildered as to what crime he'd now committed. Sabrina's eyes were evidence of how grateful she was to her brother for the opportunity to prove herself.
"Offo Sabrina." Rizwan shook his head at her twin and pulled her back. She huffed and raised her camera again.
I took the ring out the box and slid it onto his finger.
"Maa Shaa Allah, Maa Shaa Allah." Everyone said in unison.
"Ab uske haath mein apna naam dhoondh ke batao." Waqas jumped excitedly. Ayaan took my hand in his and turned the palm over. Running his finger delicately over my palm, he stopped his touch right above his name.
"Well that didn't take long." Hussain muttered.
"Ab dono thak gaye honge, unko kamre mein jaane do." Ayaan stood up at Khalu's instruction but Rizwan stopped him.
"Aise kaise, Khalu? Hum har cheez zara hatt ke karte hai." Laughter rang out at his quip. He came around and knelt in front of me, holding my knee to prevent me from getting up.
"Mere bhai ne aapke saamne hathyaar pehle se daal di hai. Lekin hum koi toufa liye baghair Ayaan bhai ko aapke hawale nahi karenge." Rizwan said cheekily, his mouth curved into a smirk.
"Toufa ya rishwat?" I teased back.
"Aap jo bhi samjhein, par paise toh dene honge." Rizwan remained adamant, smiling. I relished the acceptance and love I saw in his eyes.
"Accha jee, yeh baat hai." I glanced up at Ayaan for help but he backed off, holding his hands up.
"You're on your own for this one."
My mouth dropped open. "Bade shaadi ke kasmein nibha rahe ho." I muttered under my breath. In the silence of the room, everyone caught the words and laughed.
I leaned forward for my clutch, taking a roll of notes out of it. "Yeh lo aur apne bhai ki dor mere haath mein de do." Rizwan took the bundle and removed his hand from my knee, giving me a side hug.
"Welcome to the family, Bhabhi. Ek aap hi hai jo isse line pe laa sakti hain, nahi toh yeh kisi se baaz nahi aate." Rizwan dodged Ayaan's punch and quickly ran to hide behind Aapi.
"Jaane bhi do unko ab." Khala scolded. Ayaan and I started towards the stairs. Shehry, Waqas, Hussain and Atif blocked our way this time.
"Aise kaise? Take her upstairs in full bridal style." Shehry said smugly. Waqas and Hussain started dancing in place to an imaginary beat.
"Arre sab ke saamne?" I shied away from the tradition.
Khalu piped in kindly. "Le jao Ayaan, zindagi mein ek hi baar toh karne hote hai yeh saari rasmein."
Ayaan looked at me, his eyes asking if it was okay. I gave a slight nod, overwhelmed that he thought to check my boundaries first.
He stood behind me and placed one arm at my back and one beneath my knees, lifting me into his arms swiftly.
I secured my arms behind his neck, his eyes locked on mine. I trailed my gaze over his handsome face, from up close. A smile flitted at my lips.
"Ek doosre ke aankhon mein doobne ko nahi kaha tha janab, jaayein upar." Waqas quipped. Both of our cheeks heated as we broke eye contact.
Ayaan carried me upstairs as the four boys parted to give way. He climbed the stairs with ease and stood in front of his door.
"Aaj raat kamar toh nahi todni padegi." He mumbled. "Darwaza kholo, dekho toh sahi ke kaisa sajaya hai room ko."
I reached out and twisted the doorknob, pushing the door open.
We took in the surroundings. There were LED tea candles placed all around the room flickering near the walls, casting a dim, romantic glow. There were now four posters around the bed which were decorated with strings of fairy lights. The top corners were decorated with rose flowers that'd been decorated with light glitter, twinkling with the light.
There were no curtains or overdone arrangements of flowers, thankfully. I looked up at Ayaan for his reaction.
My husband.
"This was actually worth breaking my back for two nights on the small couch." He smiled down at me.
"Kuch bhi, ghode bech ke so rahe the." I scoffed. The smile widened as he shook his head. "You can put me down now."
"Mann toh nahi kar raha hai, par chalo." Ayaan walked over to the bed before settling me down on it. As he walked over to the door to lock it, I took the opportunity to look at my wedding ring. I held my hand out in front of me, much like I'd done last night.
The ring was just as simple as the other jewelry Ayaan had bought. Three subtle diamonds twinkled from the center of the ring. Two bands of platinum branched out from them; one band was purely studded with mini diamonds while the other was plain. The two bands weaved themselves with another rose gold band to form a braid that combined to form the band of the ring. The twist in the ring matched my necklace, the one I was wearing underneath the wedding set.
"Pasand aaya?" Ayaan asked. I looked at him to find him once again leaning against the door. His eyes were looking at me intensely.
"Bohot khubsoorat hai, Maa Shaa Allah." He smiled but didn't budge. "Wahaan kyun khade ho? Yahaan toh aao."
He pushed himself off the door before coming to sit in front of me. He reached a shaky hand out towards me. The playful atmosphere melted into a romantic, sensual one.
"Kya kuch nahi kaha na maine tumhein?" Ayaan appeared entranced with his fingers tracing the contours of my face. His head was tilted to the side, but he wouldn't meet my eyes.
I shook my head, sighing. "Purani baatein bhool jao Ayaan. Aaj se hum nayi zindagi shuru karne jaa rahe hai." I tilted his chin up to meet my eyes. "Aaj se sirf Mr. and Mrs. Rukhsaar Ayaan Khan."
"Mr. and Mrs. Rukhsaar Ayaan Khan." He repeated, a slow smirk spreading across his face. "Yaqeen nahi ho raha ke yeh din bhi Allah ne naseeb kiya humein."
Scooting a little closer to me, Ayaan moved his fingers to my head, removing the pins that had fastened the veil to my head. Dropping the veil, he exposed my hair.
I felt my heartbeat begin to race as he leaned into me to start taking pins out of my hair. With each pin that he removed, I felt the nervousness in my gut dissipate, because he was doing it slow enough that I could stop him anytime I wanted.
Once all the pins were removed, the last of my hair fell down my back. The last adornment in my hair was a jhoomar against my forehead. He took it off and peered into my eyes, silently asking a question.
I smiled in encouragement, turning myself around so he could unclip the necklace.
He unhooked the necklace and settled it gently down on the bedside table. The red crystals caught the dim light, flickering happily. The chain he'd wanted me to wear everyday settled in between my collarbones
Taking my wrists tenderly, Ayaan pulled me into his chest, resting his chin on my shoulder. I let out a content sigh. One by one, he removed the bangles and bracelet off my wrist.
Next came the dress. The zipper lined the back. Ayaan pulled the small zipper slowly, tooth by tooth. I felt his breath over my shoulder, sending my heart into a frenzy.
"Rok lo mujhe." He whispered, still poised.
"Agar main kahoon ke main rukna nahi chahti, toh?" I whispered back, my heart hammering against my rib cage. There was a long pause before Ayaan placed a small kiss on my shoulder, pulling the dress aside. I sucked a breath in at the pleasure that coursed through my body.
He trailed small kisses up my neck to the line of my jaw, moving my hair over to the other shoulder.
"Mrs." He pressed a kiss against the curve of my shoulder.
"Rukhsaar." A kiss against my clavicle.
"Ayaan." Another kiss against the curve of my neck.
"Khan." A last kiss pressed against an oversensitive spot behind my ear.
I turned around in his embrace and tucked my face into his neck, feeling his pulse hammer just as fast as mine.
"I love you." He said quietly, holding me. I pulled back from him to look him in the face.
"I love you too." Every nerve ending of mine was tingling, which is probably what possessed me to reach for the buttons on his sherwani.
Stretching my neck up, I replicated his actions, trailing my lips up his jaw while my fingers undid his buttons. I smiled against his jaw as he let out a hiss.
Strangely, I wasn't the least bit apprehensive about being this intimate with a man and I knew that the biggest reason for that was because it was Ayaan. My Ayaan, the man that never stopped loving me.
I paused over his lips, locking eyes with him. I shut my eyes, not bold enough to take the next step.
There was a split second before his lips were on mine. Ayaan pushed me back into the mattress, hovering over me. My hands wound themselves in the thick strands of his hair, feeling them slip in between my fingers.
Pulling back, out of breath, we looked at each other.
"Wow." He breathed. At the dumbstruck look on Ayaan's face, I burst out laughing, not being able to help it. "Main toh Ayaan Rukhsaar Siddiqui ban'ne ke liye bhi taiyaar hoon."
I laughed harder at the quip. Ayaan started laughing too, pressing a fast kiss against my forehead.
Fisting the now exposed tank he'd been wearing under the sherwani, I drew him back into me and with only love between us, we spent the night in each others' arms, becoming one.
Nothing but love.
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This chapter took the life out of me.
I promise there'll be a Shehry-Sakinah scene in the next chapter, because I know all of you are going to ask about them.
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Kabhi socha tha ke Ayaan bhi itna romantic hoga? xD
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