"MAGS, ARE YOU sure you want me to be there when you tell Zane?" I ask as we leave the office arm in arm. I fix the strap of my bag in the crock of my arm, keeping it tight to my side.
"Yes! Of course," she says, flashing me the grin that's been on her lips since we found out she's pregnant. A warmth replacing her initial fear of the idea. "Why wouldn't I?"
"I don't know! It's kind of personal, don't you think?" I ask. "Might be better to tell him without me there. For it just to be for the two of you."
"We'll have our time," she says, nudging me softly with her shoulder. "But I want you to be there, too. You are the baby's god mother."
"I am?"
She grins. "Of course, you are," she says. "I couldn't imagine having anyone else. You're my best friend, Em. Aside from Zane, you're the most important person in my life."
My lips curl up as I lean my head against hers. "I'd be so honored."
"I love you."
"I love you, too," I tell her when she pulls me to a stop outside a shop window. An excited yelp falling from her lips as she points to the small baby boutique.
"We have to go in here," she says, pulling me towards the door.
I tighten my grip on her arm, holding her back before she can reach the door. "It's a bit soon to be shopping for the baby, isn't it?"
"I just want to look," she says, ignoring me as she pulls the door open. Unable to shake my happiness and excitement for her, I follow her inside and up and down the aisles. It becoming obvious that she's on the hunt for something.
"Mags, what are you looking for?" I ask with a laugh.
"One second," she tells me as she browses through the tiny hangers. "I'm sure they have what I'm looking for," she says. "Ah! Here we go." She grabs the small blue onesie and turns to show it to me, a wide grin on her lips.
"If you think I'm cute, you should see my aunt," I read the graphic on the front out loud before smiling. "That's adorable."
"Isn't it?" she asks with a grin. "We're getting it."
"Why?"
"To tell Zane," she says as we walk towards the register. A snicker falls from my lips as I follow her towards the front desk, happy for her excitement. With the onesie paid for, Maggie offers me the small paper bag. "Here."
"Why are you giving this to me?" I ask as we step onto the sidewalk once again.
"You'll give Zane that," she explains as she undoes her coat, turning to me. "And I'll show him this."
I scan the small sign tapped to her shirt. "Bun in the oven."
"Please?" she pleas with a grin. "Will you help me?"
"I mean, how can I say no to that?" I ask, pointing to the shirt. She smiles as I hook my arm with hers, directing her towards the subway entrance. With a tight grip on her arm, we step onto the busy subway and grip the pole waiting for our stop. "Are you excited for his reaction?"
"I'm kind of scared," she admits. "We've obviously talked about kids, but we always planned on planning our pregnancy. I... I don't want him to feel trapped."
"Mags, you're married to the man," I tell her. "I don't think he'll feel trapped."
"What if he's upset?"
I shake my head and smile. "Impossible," I say. "He's going to be so excited, Maggie. He loves you so much. I'm seriously envious of the way he loves you."
"You really don't think he'll be upset?" she asks.
"Absa-freaking-lutely," I assure her. "And if he is I'll beat him senseless."
That brings a smile onto her lips as she rests her forehead against mine. "Thank you for talking sense into me. Of course, he's going to be happy. He's going to be thrilled."
"Thrilled," I repeat her sentiment as the train slows to a stop at our stop. I clutch the handle of the paper bag a little tighter, leading the way onto the platform. Our heels collectively click against the sidewalk, heading in the direction of her apartment.
Zane turns his head at the sound of the door, shifting on the couch. "Hey Em! Joining us for dinner?" he asks as he drops his feet from the coffee table, standing as he runs his fingers through his dark hair.
"Uh... I don't know," I tell him as I shift my gaze to Maggie who nods her head. "You want to see what I got on the way over here?" I ask as I sit on the arm chair, crossing one leg over the other as I rest the bag in my lap. Instead of waiting for him to agree, I reach into the bag and hold the onesie up by the shoulders.
He quickly scans the front before shifting his gaze up to me. "That's sweet. Are Wren and Layla expecting?"
My lips curl up as I shake my head. "Not exactly."
His brows knot together as he looks at Maggie, taking in the sign stuck to the front of her shirt. "What?" he asks, standing as he looks at her. "This better not be a joke."
"It's not a joke," she says with a grin, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. Zane already reaching for her as she says, "I took the test this morning."
"You're pregnant."
"I'm pregnant," Maggie says, grinning as he leans in and kisses her.
"You're pregnant!" He cheers as he wraps his arms around her, spinning her around. "I love you. I love you. I love you."
"I love you, too," she says, resting her hands on his jaw. "You're okay with this?"
"You didn't think I would be?"
She shrugs, biting her bottom lip. "I wasn't sure."
"Maggie Morgan, you are the absolute love of my life. Next to marrying you, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me," he assures me. "How could I not want this?"
My lips curl up at the warmth that blooms in my heart, moving to wrap my arms around both of them. "I love you both," I say, squeezing them tightly. "I'm so excited, but I think this is my cue to go, so I'll see you later."
"You don't need to go," Zane says.
"I think you two need some time together to celebrate," I tell him. "I'll see you later."
With one last hug to each, I gather my bag and head into the hallway. I wrap my coat tighter around my frame as I head onto the street. Excitement rushes through me as I head toward my apartment, the winter air cold on my exposed skin. The excitement soon flushed by my annoyance when I see a head of brown hair heading towards me.
"Em, hi," Charlie says with a bright smile. Most certainly forgetting the last time I saw him and told him I had no interest in talking with him. When I keep walking, wanting to avoid this conversation all together, he grabs my elbow and stops me. "Hey, wait," he says, pulling me to a stop. "Just going to ignore me?"
"That was the plan," I say as I pull my arm out of his grasp. "What are you even doing in this area, Charlie?"
"I had a business meeting nearby," he says. "I wasn't expecting to see you, but now that I have, maybe we could stop and get a drink? There's a bar not far from here."
"And why would I do that?" I ask.
"To clear the air," he tells me. "That's all I want, Em. I just want everything to be okay between us. Can we do that? Will you hear me out?"
I shake my head. "I cannot believe you," I say. "I'm not interested in hearing you out, Charlie. You don't deserve that from me."
"I just want things to be better..."
"It's not my fault you figured out what you had once I was gone," I say. "And before you say anything else, you cheated on me, Charlie."
"I know," he says, swallowing. "I made a mistake and I'm sorry."
My lips curl up as I pat his chest, stepping away from him. "I don't believe you."
The expression on his face falls slack as I continue on my walk toward my building, wanting nothing more than to put space between the two of us. I told myself after we broke up that I wanted to be single, because it made sense to me. I lived in horror of the fact I might end up in the grips of another Charlie. Someone who wants me for show, but doesn't really want me.
Not the way I want to be wanted.
I want the real thing. I want to be in love. Really, really in love, but the thought of letting someone that close to my heart again scares me. Charlie left me in pieces, scattered about without a clue of how to put myself back together. Slowly, I found the pieces and stuck them back together but it still weighs heavily over me.
"Hey 4A." Luke's voice breaks through the noise, shaking me awake from my thoughts. "Everything okay?"
I hum as I lift my gaze from the street, meeting his gaze. "Sorry?"
"Everything okay?" he asks, repeating his question. "You look a little out of it."
"Oh, yeah," I say, waving off his concern. "I'm fine. I just ran into Charlie on my way home and it... soured my mood."
"Why is that?"
I lean into the stone railing leading up to the doors. "He seems to think he's entitled to holding me prisoner to his expectations for the rest of my life."
He watches me carefully, and my stomach turns in fear of what he might say. "Treat Charlie like you treat me."
"What?"
"You'd never let me control you with my expectations," he explains. "You shouldn't let him control you either."
My lips curl up. "You're right."
"I know," he says, leaning in until his lips touch mine. I step towards him, resting my head on his torso as his fingers slip into my hair. "You deserve so much better than him, 4A," he mumbles, kissing me one more time before stepping back from me.
And with it he takes a small part of me.