Chapter One:
I woke up with a deep breath. My dreams were once again disrupted. Actually, I was never one for dreaming. It was just black. No colour, no imagery, nothing. My sleep felt as if it was mere minutes instead of hours. I hated waking up to the cold reality of life. I couldn't think of a better word than cold. Cold. Everyone around me was cold. The wooden floor of my room was always cold. The air that encompassed my room was cold. Waking up was never fun. It was always easier to sleep than wake up for me. I'd heard so many children loathing bedtime from sitcoms and television shows. For me, sleeping was a release. It was when all worries were gone, at least for the petty hours I had to rest. Waking up was just a cruel thing. It took away the illusion that the bitter sensation entitled life was over. It was never a choice though. No matter what the dream was or the ambition, there was always a wake up call. For me, it just had to be the annoying beeps from my alarm clock.
The alarm clock raged with its insistent beeps. I groaned to myself, suddenly hating the individual who invented such a horrendous invention. It was nonetheless useful. It beeped for minutes on end, yet it felt like hours to my annoyed self. I was too lazy to reach my arm out of the comforter and into the cold air. It was just another depressing day. Nothing to look forward to. Actually, it seemed as though fate was against me. Today probably would be the worst day ever. My head peeked out from the covers and I noticed on my calendar on the adjacent wall the words,
'One Direction Signing'.
I groaned even more. I didn't dare look at my alarm clock. I had to wake up early for this and I knew the glowing numbers wouldn't be something I'd look forward to looking at. The beeping persisted and I could feel a headache coming on. I sighed and stretched my arms out. The cold air immediately surrounded my bare skin and goosebumps errupted from my skin. I shivered instinctively. Everything was just too cold.
I hit the button and breathed a sigh of relief. That noise was getting on my nerves. I ripped off the sheets and swung my legs out of the bed. I peeked at the time and my eyes widened.
6:30.
"Crap!" I yelled and snatched my iPod on my route to the bathroom. I ran out of my room and into the bathroom across the hall. I had to get out by seven am if I wanted to make it to the signing in Arlington. I didn't want to go at all, but money made the world go round as people say. I wasn't a fan of them and never understood the hype about them. They were always however the mean girls had convinced me into going to the signing as it was the only one that would be visited by the One Direction boys anytime soon. They were unable to attend due to the senior prom being expertly planned this weekend. It was the last week of school and the student council had been short on time because Mr. Pennouski, the teacher in charge of the student council, had been pulled into jury duty.
They had eventually turned to yours truly. I was unpopular, the odd one out, outcast, hated and had no other friend than my neighbour. I scared off everyone. Or at least, the mean girls scared them off for me. I was hated by them however, they only talked to me when they bullied me or when I had something they wanted. They naturally assumed I wouldn't be going to the prom. I wasn't even planning on it either. So I agreed. They just waltzed up to me as if we were all best friends and basically begged me to do this favour for them. Instinctively, I was bitter at first but I needed the cash too, to get the groceries each week.
No job I really wanted was near my home and I was trying to keep my grades up so I could graduate. My dad covered everything other than groceries. I basically lived alone and he told me that as I was basically an adult, despite still being in secondary school, I had to deal with everything on my own. I didn't expect much from him. I was just happy that he paid for the rent and electricity bills. I was saving up for a car though or at least a motorbike. They were death on wheels according to my mother but I always fantasized about having one. I knew my father had gone through a phase of motorcycles in his time too.
I was eighteen now and I wasn't really focused on much other than getting out of high school. I had an aspiration to change the world. However, I wasn't exactly talented at much and still was in a way, 'finding myself'. I planned to take a year off to consider my options. I was one for justice, but I could never cut it out for a lawyer. I was great with kids in small groups, but I couldn't be a teacher; I'd be overwhelmed. I was okay at writing but just mediocre. I wasn't very sporty and the sports I was good at, I wasn't good enough at. I didn't have any talent at anything. Or at least, as far as I could see. I just needed to look harder.
I just hoped that I'd be able to drown out the screams of teenage girls.
I honestly didn't care for One Direction. They didn't seem worth my time. And honestly, with their accents and girls swooning over them, they seemed pretentious. I didn't hear much about them really but their music irked me. Their first hit song was basically the school's anthem in the hallways when monitors weren't around. It'd even gotten to the point where me and the boys of the school were mouthing it with a twisted face. It got annoying after awhile and I didn't particularly like it to begin with. Their was this song on their newest album though, I think it was called, Rock Me. I hated sexual innuendos and truthfully, the kids around nine who were idolizing these boys, made me question the world.
There were some other reasons but I particularly didn't like to discuss them. I think what really vexed me was how people reacted to them. They called them the next freaking Beatles. No. Hell no. Not them. No. Just... no. They weren't precisely 'sex gods' either. I'd seen better on TV. It made no sense to me. I never really kept up with music trends though lately. I was too oriented with my schoolwork to really care. I didn't really know them but they didn't seem to really have any affect on humanity in a substantial way. I won't judge though. I didn't know anything about them. The only thing I certainly hated that was somewhat related to them, how early I had to wake up. Before dawn seemed far too early for my taste.
I put my iPod on shuffle and 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go' by WHAM! played. I laughed. Of course my iPod would play a song about waking up. I hummed to myself as I hopped into the shower after undressing. I was supposedly a good singer and my mother used to try to convince me to sing in front of our guests. I always refused and blushed profusely. I was never one for drawing attention to myself then. I wasn't really one now either. I did have my moments though when my anger got the best of me and I took out my frustrations... And when that happened, I usually recieved a spotlight from everyone in the area.
I stepped out of the warm stream of water and shut it off. I quickly grabbed my towel, wiped myself mostly dry and in one swift movement wrapped it around me. I ran out after grabbing my iPod and checking the time. Oh shoot, it was almost seven. I sighed. The line up was going to be long anyway and slowed down my pace. I guess my realization was a little too late and my damp feet slipped causing me to fall on my butt.
"Ow!" I yelled. A string of curses left my mouth that'd put a sailor to shame. I rubbed my bottom and I knew that'd bruise. I was somewhat sporty but I still had clutzy moments like this that made everyone forget my status on teams.
I stood up briskly and looked through my closet. It wasn't filled with much variety. Mostly band shirts, jeans and hoodies. I was never one to bring attention to myself so my clothing also followed my personality. Still, the whispers that followed me never seemed to stop.
An exception to my usual clothing was a cute light purple summer dress with a matching belt that reached to the top of my knees. I hated dresses. I never wore them unless I was forced. I was never one for fashion either but I had to admit, it was cute. I wouldn't buy it though in a store. My mother actually was the one to buy it for me. She had a dream of seeing me off to prom with the golden boy of the school on my arm and driving away in the night in a pristine shining limo. She told me though that she wouldn't let me go unless I had a boyfriend for some reason. I was confused but I didn't actually plan on having a relationship in high school anyway. The dress was an oddity yet I kept it. It really seemed like the only thing I had left of her. My father had mercilessly thrown her belongings away but I never let him touch the dress. It was the only thing I had left anymore.
She was gone. She had left the world. She was... no more. I loved her. I still do. I missed her. I can't describe it. Have you ever had something that you've lost? And you're absolutely and inevitably not going to get it back? Did you cry? Did you feel sadness? Multiply that by one thousand. And then maybe you'll understand. I'll never wish it upon anyone to lose someone they love. No one deserves to feel that. No one deserves to feel the pain and emptiness. They always say in movies something along the lines of, "They'd want me to be happy," but my mother was still burned in my mind and I wouldn't be moving on for a long time.
I grasped the cloth between my fingers. It was silky and smooth. The inside part was a little rough but I liked the texture of it. It was a stunning dress. Just not my style.
Dresses and tuxedos and glittery cliche gym props were not my scene. I hadn't worn a dress since I was nine, I think. I was more of a soccer, stay in, listen to music, sleep in, movie marathon and writing type of person. I just wasn't meant to fit in. Thinking about it, none of the girls were like me.There were so many different cliques and you'd think that everyone would have a place. However, I was out. I was just, me. I wasn't part of a group. Actually, it's sort of a joke to me now, but once, I was. I was part of a group.
Surprisingly, I, of all people, was a popular. Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago.
It's amazing how far someone can fall. Just.... fall. Then again, the higher we are, the better chances we had to fall and the farther we fall.
Just me being a popular was a long shot. I was probably just a wild card at that point. I was never destined to fit in. Even in elemetary, I was never part of the in crowd. I moved to the grand city of New York from a little town in the United Kingdom when I was ten and a half. Most kids either teased me for my accent or were too fascinated by my accent and where I came from to care about what I was actually saying. My family decided to finally settle in New York, where I've lived for the past eight years.
My family used to move around alot. My dad was a very in demand businessman and I actually had been surprised by how long we'd stayed here. New York really was home now though. My accent had faded within a year or two, and anyone who didn't know me would probably say I was a native of New York.
I'd lived, I'd triumphed, I'd lost, I'd gained, I'd loved in here.
I met some of the the best people I've ever met here.
I wasn't popular in elementary but I managed to make the best friend a girl could ask for. Jake Finch.
Jake was different from the other kids. He didn't particularly care about me. Our friendship revolved more about me beating him back then. It all started when we played soccer and I.... accidently tripped Jake. I wasn't popular and was chosen last but I shocked everyone with my fierceness at football, as I called it. I was soon told about it being called soccer and mocked. Tripping Jake was talk of the town at our small school. I was known as the girl who tripped the alamighty Jake Finch. Jake probably wouldn't have taken it personally but after I tripped him, I took the ball without apologizing and shot the winning goal. Jake was and still is the most competitive person ever. And ever since them, we've been trying to outdo each other. After awhile, we ended up becoming good friends in the process and he was there for me when the others weren't.
Jake convinced me to pursuade my parents into letting us go to the same school. They had wanted me to go to a cheaper school, as Jake's prophesized school was one that needed a tuition yearly. My parents had finally agreed after we succumbed to their hopes of us dating. Only one date though. We both knew it would never amount to anything. We didn't like each other in that way but it was the only way to get my parents to agree. I soon ended up paying for the tuiton though after she left... Then I ended up just applying for a scholarship which was accepted.
Before this, I was actually popular. I knew Jake and he became a jock so I also became popular as his friend. I fit in with the mean girls, however I didn't think bullying was okay and often protested. It seemed like a batch of them was on my side and we protested the other group. They all had favourites though and I guess I wasn't most of theirs. But I played their games with their rules and dressed up a lot girlier. It was my way of stopping their bullying streak. I was successful about the bullying for the most part and we were all sort of at peace. That was before I somehow managed to snatch one of the most popular guys in the school, Jude Marcus. I can't say I felt anything for him. It just felt like it was mandatory. Jude and I had a nice relationship. We understood each other well. We weren't exactly romantic but it still hurt when I found him with Kora. Kora was the mean girl and we'd always tried to up each other, mostly on her part. She and I had gotten along until Jude and I came together but then, it all went downhill. He cheated, and we were over. I moved on though and I guess she couldn't stand me being happy.
Because of her goal to keep me unhappy, another blow came along and Kora had found out about my scholarship and I was officially an outcast. Only five people had scholarships that we knew of, but each one was an outcast. Jake had stood by me the entire time and he still was. We are family almost. I didn't really like the girls much and I prefered the boys on the football team with Jake. We were all good friends too. I was more of a tomboy but Jake had convinced me to go make some girl friends. I think they all were tired of me hanging around them and were too nice to say it to my face.
There was only one girl I was really friends with, Poppy Hunt. We'd met when I joined the popular girls for a while and even after the falling out, but she'd stuck with me. I missed her so much.
I decided on disobeying the mean girls' request for me to dress nicely so that I'd be a good model for their school if the boys ever considered visiting or so that they'd want my number so I can give it to them. I had to surpress an eye roll on that one. Jeez, they sucked. They couldn't control my choices and I didn't feel the need to satisfy them. I wore my usual attire - a purple hoodie and ripped jeans with a plaid crop top underneath and brought my beats headphones with me that my best friend, Jake felt the need to buy me for my birthday. Hopefully, I'd be able to zone out the furious screams of the girls in the crowd begging for the boys' attention.
I walked out of my room into the kitchen. It was silent and empty in the large apartment. My parents had bought the large apartment but with my mom's passing and my father's less and less visits, the house, not home anymore, was just a reminder of my solitary life without them. The lack of sound and presence in the house always seemed to consume me and I usually got choked up around holidays where normal families were celebrating together. I just wanted everything back to normal. I knew though that I wouldn't be getting that back ever. Sighing, I grabbed a banana and headed to the cupboard with cereal. On the way, I glanced at the clock and my eyes widened.
7:30.
"Shoot!" I yelled running out the door, not even bothering with my breakfast. I groaned. It was going to be a long ride and I was going to regret not having enough time. I loved food more than the average person and I was already dying silently. It was times like this when I regretted being scatterbrained and always off track. It didn't help that I was always slow in the mornings since my brain didn't really function normally 'til after lunch.
I groaned as I realized that I didn't have my shoes. I was already on the second flight from the bottom and I laughed at myself but I still wasn't exactly pleased at my forgetfulness' consequences. I ran back with loud footfalls and I silently criticized myself for probably waking up my floor and the floor under me. Oops. I was so going to get complaints about this. At least most of my neighbours and I were on good terms with each other. Maybe they'd let this slide? I reached my hand forward as I reached my door, only to find that it was actually open. I laughed as I realized that I didn't even close the door. I put my face in my hands and laughed. I had to work on not being so careless and hasty. Next thing you know, robbers may have found their way in.
I jumped into my converse on the side of the door and grabbed the keys for the rental from the holder which I also forgot to get. I checked my pockets for my iPod and smiled when I felt the smooth front. My other hand felt something smooth and squishy. My eyebrows furrowed but then I realized it was the banana and laughed. At least I remembered something, I thought. I was always forgetful but I seemed to remember things that actually didn't really matter. My memory worked in mysterious ways and I usually studied for short periods yet it came a long way during testing.
I bolted out the door and locked it. I ran past Jake's apartment a couple doors down and I heard him say his goodbyes to his mother as I ran down the stairs. He was never an early bird and I questioned why he was even up. I laughed, probably was up for Amanda.
"Rosetta! Rose!" he called out my name, running to catch up to me. I was a couple flights ahead already. We only had stairs; our building wasn't classy enough for elevators, sadly.
"Oh, hey! What are you doing up so early?" I asked curiously. It was before noon on a weekend, there was obviously something wrong here.
"Oh, nothing! Good luck with the signing! Hey, I was wondering, can you drive me to the library?" he breathed out the last syllable as he finally caught up to me.
"The library?" I asked with a questioning look. It'd only take a few seconds but Jake's destination was odd. He was never one to go to the library, and more so, never one to wake up early on a weekend to go there.
"Yeah," he replied. He looked antsy and I could smell... was that... cologne? I sniffed uncarefully. We were used to each other's weird behaviours. It smelled sort of musky. I gave him an incredulous look until I pieced it together. Amanda loves the library. I wiggled my eyebrows.
"So you and Amanda finally got together?" I teased as I walked out the door. He followed diligently, taking my lack of response as a signal that I was driving him.
"What? No!" he argued.
"What? Oooh, friends with benefits?" I teased as I stepped into the car. He stepped into it too and after I put the key into the ignition, I pulled out and started driving. It wasn't my truck but I liked it. It was fun to drive. I had my license but I didn't actually have a car. It was nice to drive. Most people found it to be a routine, but I liked looking at the new surroundings.
"No!" he blushed.
"Then what?" I continued.
"Jeez, we just have a project for English lit," he finally answered. I was sort of disappointed. Amanda and him have had a platonic relationship for several years. They constantly flirted but none of them had the guts to get together.
"Oh, I see," I dragged out the oh.
"See what?" he said getting frustrated. I always teased him like this and he always got frustrated. He had a short fuse but I liked riling him up. He was very unemotional and moments like these reminded me that he wasn't always numb. He had a big heart though so we made a good pair.
"Study buddies, just use protection, okay. We don't need any Jake juniors running around. One of you is just... " I joked, ending it with a grossed out face. Normally he laughed but I guess today, he was getting pissed off.
"She's not like that," he defended, "We're not like that."
"Oh, so now it's 'we'," I teased,"Together." I wiggled my eyebrows for extra measure.
"We don't like each other!" he huffed, crossing his arms like a two year old.
"Ugh, when are you guys finally going to get together?" I asked. They were so frustrating. It was too obvious to everyone but they were so dang oblivious. Even I liked Amanda for him. They were polar opposites but I really thought they'd make it.
"When are you ever gonna believe me when I say that we're just friends?" He mocked.
"Never," I smirked.
"I just want to be friends!" He yelled.
"Well, tell her that! She's so in love with you that she wants to be my friend for your sake! She's so damn cheery and annoying!" I huffed. She was always around me and hoping to be my friend. I kept her at arm's distance though beccause anyone linked with me was targetted too. I didn't actually have any problems with the girl but she was digging her own hole and I was too annoyed by stupid people. However kind it was, it was idiotic. She could actually survive high school and I wasn't going to jeopardize her chances.
"Maybe, she plain likes you!" he argued. There was a happy note in his voice. I guess he wanted us to be good friends. After all, if they dated, Amanda and I would have to spend time with each other and he probably wanted it to not always end up in disaster.
"Ha, no one wants to be my friend; I come with too much baggage," I debated. It was true though, I came with too much issues for someone to just plain want to be my friend. Amanda had her reasons, my approval of her and Jake.
"Stop underestimating yourself! You're a great person but you need to open up to people," He said.
"Well, I'm sorry if I don't want to rant all of my problems to people!" I huffed. I didn't like including people in my problems. They were mine. Solely mine.
"You never tell me anything! I want to help you through all this but you never let anyone get through that stubborn head you have," he huffed. Ah, the truth comes out, I thought.
"I'm perfectly fine!" I debated.
"You're not fine! I just want to help you, but you never listen! I told you that dating Jude was a bad idea! But no, you went ahead and got your heart broken!" Jake yelled.
My eyes started to tear up as he mentioned Jude and Jake seemed to regret what he said.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking," He apologized knowing that Jude was a touchy subject for me. I didn't exactly love Jude, but it didn't mean that him cheating didn't hurt any less.
My sadness quickly turned into anger. I pulled up to the library and unlocked the door.
"Get the hell out of my truck," I grounded out.
He gave me a sad look and I groaned.
"Don't look at me like that," I said, my voice softening.
"I'm sorry. It's just that you're my best friend and I just want you to be happy," he whispered opening the door a fraction.
I sighed.
"I'm fine. Just peachy. But just get your girlfriend out of my life," I hissed. Amanda needed to get out of my life.
"She could be a good friend!" He argued once again.
"I don't need friends," I counteracted. He inhaled sharply.
"What? After everything we've gone through. You don't need me," he glared.
"I don't mean it like that," I told him.
"How did you mean it?!" He yelled. He was attracting the gazes of everyone in the vicinity with his door open. I glared at him.
"I need you, Jake. I'm fine with just you," I muttered.
"If you're fine, then you don't need me," he said as he stepped out.
"Why is everything about you?" I asked heatedly.
"It's never about me, it's always about you, you stupid ungrateful," he ended with a curse word that made my eyes tear up. He always had an issue with thinking before acting and it usually was costly. He realized what he said and apologized, rushing back to the car.
"I didn't mean it," he muttered as I glared at him through the tears.
"You meant it alright," I said. I raised my fist and gave him a good uppercut through the window as he perched to stick his head into the car through the open window. I had been working out and our school's wrestling coach once saw me working with the punching bags and tried to get me on the team. I didn't accept though because it wouldn't help my reputation at them time. I didn't regret it though, I have to admit, I don't think I'd be any good at wrestling and I figure that I'd probably get myself bruised and battered.
"I think we're even now. I'll talk to you later," he said still hotheaded as he straightened up. I wasn't worried though; I knew he'd never hit a girl. His nose was bleeding but he didn't bother with it. We both knew we needed to take some time apart and calm down. I nodded in response and pulled out, ignoring all the looks from strangers. This is what I meant by a spotlight. I really had to work on controlling my anger.
I braced myself for the long ride ahead of me to Arlington and turned up the radio.
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Okay, so here's the improved version. I hopefully will have the new and improved Chapter Two up soon. That chapter is mostly dialogue so I'll mostly be elaborating. It's actually easier when you know what you're writing instead of on the spot. lol
Thank you for reading. I know I don't deserve the comments or votes for this stunt so I won't ask.
Thank you again! :)
Here's the old note that I feel like keeping:
"I barely edited this thing... too lazy... xD Sadly the boys aren't in this one *pouts*... oh well.. THEY'LL BE IN THE NEXT ONE! SO YAY! :D And that's basically all I have to say. Wait, VOMMENT. Yeah... pretty sure that's the term they use... But if you like the story... don't be afraid to show it :D. Hehe.... Okay.. well I'll be uploading sometime soon.. I dunno when but I will. But I have a feeling that my friends *cough* ElyseWeasley will be bugging me to upload soon."
Wow, I was so unprofessional back then. Then again, I'm not exactly professional now.
Thank you again! Huh, I'm going to add a song since I didn't know you could add a picture and a song back then.
So in honour of the old chapter, Maroon 5's Wake Up Call. It actually had no relation but I just liked the song. lol
Okay, bye! Love you all!