I WANT YOU GUYS TO ENTER THAT CONTEST! I still only have one entry..and I thought I'd have a lot more, considering that you'd get to read what I have so far of the fifth book AND be in the 4th....but I've checked my email 24/7 and nothing new has come in..i thought the questions were pretty eaasy......
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Thursday (4 days later)
October 17th
I watched with my mouth slightly hung open as Justin made weird faces feeding Hailee, not to mention the funny noises.
"Airplane..." He said, scooping up more of the bannana mush and Hailee laughed, leaning forward as he slipped the spoon in her mouth.
"You keep making funny facs. No wonder why she is laughing."
"Or she likes my airplane noises." He said, "Varooom."
"That is a car."
"Nuh uh." He shook his head, looking back at me. "It's not no car."
"Bad grammar."
"Baby talk." He stuck out his tongue and I watched Hailee as he bounced her against his leg.
"Ba.." She mumbled, looking around the room and I smiled.
"No, It's 'da da." Justin said.
"She's not even close yet. She's trying though. Even saying 'da da' she wouldn't know the meaning."
"But I bet Mommy would get really excited if you said 'ma ma."
"Sure I would." I shurgged, watching as Hailee was making noises as she blew with her lips.
She laughed, looking up at Justin and did it again.
He laughed with her, shaking his head as he scooped up more banana.
He held it out, but she didn't stop, she was making herself laugh, and I was laughing at her.
"No." Justin said, fighting a smile on his face. "You have to finish your bananas."
She looked at my, still making raseberries with her lips and I laughed a littler harder, seeing she was not cooperating with Justin.
"Hey, you're not helping." He said, smiling at me.
"Like you didn't do it. I think she's funny."
"Hailee," He said and she looked back at him, turning her head yet again. "No."
She stopped, bouncing herself on Justin's lap and he smiled, kissing the side of her head.
"Bananas." He said, wedging the spoon in to her mouth and she smiled, continuing to bounce herself as she looked at me.
"Aren't you happy to be eating something besides your bottle?" I smiled at her, leaning forward and kissed her forehead.
My phone lit up on the table with the sound of it's most recent ringtone and I saw Hailee's head snap in it's direction.
"It's just my phone." I told her, kissing her forehead again and got up.
My mom was calling. Well that's a little weird.
"Hey." I answered, watching Justin turn Hailee's attention back to him and slip another spoonful in her mouth.
"Hey, how are you?"
I listened, walking slowly away as I heard the tremble in her voice.
"I'm fine," I said slowly. "Mom what's wrong?"
"This was really bad timing, I don't want you to worry ok? Just don't. Dad is in the hospital. He had a heart attack."
"What? Grandpa?" I asked softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"Yeah, I'm at the hospital now. Marc is with me. He's in the emergency room."
"Is he going to be ok?"
"They won't tell me."
I heard her crying and I swallowed, looking over at Justin ans Hailee from the door way.
"Mom, do you want me to come home?"
"No, don't. Not yet. Please. I said don't worry."
"Mom, of course I'm going to worry."
Justin looked over at me and I had to look away, swallowing again as I blinked.
"Well don't. It's getting late there. I just wanted to let you know. I'll call if they tell me anything else ok?"
"Ok," I nodded. "I love you Mom."
"I love you too."
And with that the line went dead.
"She's all done." Justin said, walking in with Hailee and then looked at me. "What's wrong?"
"Grandpa had a heart attack."
"Is he ok?"
"I don't know. They won't tell Mom. She was crying pretty bad."
"Are you ok?"
"I don't know..." I let out a deep breath, then looked up at Hailee. "It's bath time for you miss."
"Laur, I can do it. You don't have to worry about it."
"Please? It'll help."
"Ok." He said, watching me and handed me Hailee.
"Bath time." I told her and kissed the side of her head as she babbled. "How were your bananas?"
She rested her head against my shoulder as I walked in the bathroom.
I turned on the water, feeling a tear slip down my cheek and kissed the side of her head.
"I love you." I whispered, pulling her back to look at me and pecked her cheek.
I took off her clothes and diaper, checking the water before I sat her in and plastered a smile on my face.
She looked at me and started babbling again as I held her up under her arm and picked up her shampoo.
"What?" I asked her and she reached up, touching my face and I let out a small laugh. "Do you love your mommy Hailee?"
She laughed, splashing a little in the water and I kissed her cheek repeatedly, feeling her smile and touch my other cheek.
"Yes I do." I nodded, answering for her and gave her her bath, trying to focus on that and not anything else.
Then I drained the bath, picking her up in her towel and smiled at her.
"All done. Now we have to get you to bed. I wonder what Daddy's doing."
I made sure she was dry before I put on her diaper, hugging her gently back to me as I ran my fingers through her damp hair.
I laid her down, putting a little lotion on her as she looked up at me. She was trying to talk, but she was no where close.
"I know." I nodded, kissing her forehead and scooted her back, then fixed the pillows around her. "You have to go night night now. I'll send Daddy in. I love you Hailee Bailey."
I smiled, kissing her cheek again and picked up her monkey blanket from the edge of the bed a draped it over her.
I went out into the other room. Seeing Justin sitting with his forehead rested in his hands, his elbows against his knees.
"What?" I asked him.
"Huh?" He said, shaking his head and looked up. "Sorry. Um, did you put Hailee to bed?"
"Yeah, she's still awake though. You can go say goodnight."
"Ok." He nodded and stood up, glancing at me quickly before he looked away.
I sighed, sitting down and crossed my arms over my chest, thinking quietly to myself as I heard him talking to Hailee.
They won't tell me...
Which means it wasn't good.
I waited for Justin to come back, adjusting myself and hugging my knees to my chest.
I heard a deep breath and I looked over towards the doorway, seeing Justin walking over to me and running a hand through his hair.
"Laur," He said sitting next to me, brushing my hair back behind my ear. "Your mom called while you were giving Hailee a bath."
"And?" I said, seeing him look away from me for a moment and shook my head. "No. No he's probably fine."
"Lauren, that's why they wouldn't tell her. At the time they were trying to bring him back."
"No." I shook my head, resting it against my knees.
"Come here." He murmured, tugging me gently onto his lap. "We're going to go home tomorrow ok?"
"But your family-" I said, swallowing as I shut my eyes and cut myself off. "We were supposed to be here the rest of the week. It's all the time we have. That's not fair."
"It's alright. They can always come to set. This is more important."
"Why don't you just let me go? You can stay here and keep Hailee so you can spend time with your family."
"No," He shook his head. "You are my family, and they are your family too. We will all go home."
"Ok." I said, crying gently into his shoulder. "I should have spent more time with him."
"You did what you could."
"It wasn't enough."
"Do you remember what you told me when I lost Avalanna? You did enough, and he's in a better place."
"I know." I mumbled, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Grandma is probably a mess."
"Everything is going to be ok. I promise."
"He wasn't even that old."
"Sometimes bad things happen to good people and we don't know why. We just have to remember the good times. Not the bad."
"That's hard."
"It is hard," He nodded, running his hands along my back. "but it gets easier baby. I'll be here, you have your Mom. Your whole family. Me. It's going to be ok."
"I'm not going to be able to see him at Christmas or Thanksgiving this year."
"I know." He hugged me, kissing the side of my head.
"And Hailee - she's not going to remember him. She's just going to see pictures and stuff. This isn't fair."
"I know Laur, trust me I know."
"I feel like it's one bad thing after another, yes we have a beautiful baby girl, I love her to death, but now my grandfather too?"
"You have to stay positive. Everything happens for a reason I think. It's all part of the plan. If we wouldn't have lost Nicole we wouldn't have Hailee. Who knows where we would be at right now. God has everything planned out, and it was just your Grandpa's time to go home."
"I love him. Time is moving too fast. I hate crying, people think I'm this strong person and sometimes I feel like I'm really not. After everything that has happened to me I want to be, but losing Nicole..." I trailed off, taking quick gasps for air as I cried. "That was my breaking point."
"Mine too, but he loves you too, and you are a very strong woman. That's why I am how I am, you've made me stronger too."
"Is it wrong for me to question what I believe in? I've gone my whole life putting my trust in God and just letting him do what he needed to do. Mom always helped me with that. People think I'm perfect and I'm not! I had an abusive father, many sucky relationships, and then I hurt you. I was blind because he had put you right in front of me and then I got my heart broken. We dated, it worked out, we've fought, I've cried, you've cried, you lost Avalanna, then we lost Nicole, now my granfather. People are killing themselves on the streets, and I'm supposed to believe in that?!"
"It's all a test. Hurting me was part of mine, but look where we are. Look at our baby. Look at the life we get to spend together. Look at me. He puts these things in place to make us stronger. It builds your faith. You can't give up on that."
"I don't want to, but you can't tell me you haven't had the same questions."
"I have had the same questions." He nodded. "Especially watching you suffer like that, like this. You're right it's not fair. But your Granpa is happy. He want's you to be happy, and he certainly doesn't want to see you cry."
"I can't believe he's gone."
"He's not. He's right here."
I felt his finger tap right above my heart and I cried harder, hugging him tighter as I nodded.
"I love you Justin."
"I love you too, sweetie. It's going to be ok."
"This is why I want us to be a family. We are a family. I don't want to miss a second of her life. I want to be there for her." I said, pulling back a little and pointing over to where Hailee slept.
"We will be there for her. She's our little girl, and I plan on being a knit family. I want her to come to me and ask if we can talk, write a song with her, play guitar, curl up together as a family and watch one of those silly animated movies, even walking up on that stage and accepting an award, or performing with her. We will do it all, and I'm going to do my best to make sure I keep myself in check and spend time with her. I love you both. I don't want to miss a second either."
"I want to be strong for her. I need to be."
"Then be strong for our Hailee. I'll be strong for both of you. We'll be strong as a family."
I nodded, calming myself down as I kissed his cheek.
"And we'll fall together, just like we always have." He gave me small smile, running his fingers through my hair and I sniffed, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand and nodded again. "I remember that night."
"And what did you do?"
"I fell, hard - for you."
"And then we said I do, we have a baby, a roof over our heads, and eachother. I'm always going to be that shoulder for you to cry on and the person that is there for you. You're grandfather loves you, he always has and he always will. You'll see him again, so don't cry, celebrate."
I looked down, taking his left hand and smiled.
"So I guess this is the part where I stop crying and fall asleep."
"We don't have to go to bed if you don't want to. I understand. We can stay right here, watch a movie to take your mind off of things until the morning and I'll hold you. It's ok."
"Ok." I whispered, snuggling into him and rested my head into his shoulder.