I now understand why some musicians chose to wear sunglasses while performing live. The lights of the Tacoma Dome were almost blinding as they gleamed down on the stark set.
Behind me sat a grand piano and a cello where my accompanying musicians would join me after the first song. I was completely alone in a massive hall filled with thousands of bodies.
The thunderous applause and shouts from the crowd echoed and reverberated on the stage. There were pockets of angry 'Boos' coming from all sides, but thankfully I couldn't see their faces, which made them easier to ignore. All I had to do was follow Connor's advice, and this would all be over.
I approached the mic stand holding my guitar, trying not to shake as I adjusted it to the perfect position. Then, it happened.
I watched in horror as the mic tipped to seemingly dislodge itself and fall towards the stage. I swear, time slowed down as if to taunt me and I watched as the mic bounce once, twice, three times on the stage.
The industrial-sized speakers made terrible popping noises followed by an earsplitting screech of feedback that made everyone (myself included) wince. It was like nails on a chalkboard, only the chalkboard was the size of a football field and wired to everyone's eardrums. I stood there mortified, looking out over the audience with a stunned expression.
Frantically, I looked around trying to suss out the best path of escape, when my eyes fell on James at the side of the stage.
From a distance, I could see that he was holding up a tablet. On the video feed was the only person in the whole world I wanted to impress, my daughter. Maddy's tiny body was jumping up and down in excitement, so I sucked in a breath as she watched the concert (and her mom) live on stage.
Slowly, I knelt down to pick up the mic. "Wow, epic fail? Or preemptive mic drop?" I cracked at the audience. "You decide."
The crowds roared with laughter and a refreshing wave of relief washed over my limbs.
"How is everyone doing tonight?" I asked them. The answer was deafening and indiscernible, but largely positive. "Are you guys as stoked as I am to see Ninja Bear?!"
I was getting a contact high from the shrieking fandom that threatened to crush the stage. I turned to wave at the boys enthusiastically (who were offstage and nowhere to be seen), which was actually a secret wave for Maddy.
The mob went nuts and I had to bring my fingers up to playfully plug my ears against the pandemonium.
"Ooh, I know Colton is going to love that shirt!" I said pointing at one of Ninja Bear's young fans in the front row.
Her tiny frame went into euphoric convulsions at the thought of her teenage crush noticing her. I fitted the microphone back into place and leaned in to tell the audience a secret.
"Well, the boys will be out shortly, but for now you're stuck with me."
The hoards of people bellowed their approval and I struck a chord on my guitar with a flourish that brought my hand to the sky. "This one's for you, you know who you are!" I shouted with gusto.
I began Over You, the song that had won me the competition, and to my utter surprise, people started singing along.
Up until that point, I had decided that there was no part of fame I wanted. It was an ugly beast that quickly became an insatiable monster, feeding on the drama and pain of others. But to connect with people through my music because it moved them, that was blissful.
I enjoyed every second of the song, tossing my head with sass and holding up the mic to the audience to hear them shout out the chorus. I even saw some parents in the front row who were singing, enjoying the empowering anthem's message.
Next, the cellist and pianist joined me on stage and we swept into a slow version of You Are My Sunshine, which melted into my original song My One And Only.
I had originally hoped to show Maddy a video of my performance later, but because of James, she had a backstage pass. I made sure the audience knew that the song was dedicated to my daughter, and that earned me a refrain of approval.
My last number alone was one I'd written for my dad. The song was called Rolling Stone. It was a letter I'd written the year he passed away that I painstakingly reworked into a song. As the chords progressed and my whole body got into the music, I could see some parents wiping away tears and hugging their children. The sight made me choke up in turn, but I pushed through the love letter to my dad knowing he would be proud of me.
All those nights he'd played guitar while I sang along to his beloved rock 'n roll songs came flooding back. I could picture our improved concerts for my delighted mom, and the happiness that used to threaten to tear me apart when I dared remember him.
When I came up from my bow, I could see the audiences' happy applause through my tears. My five minutes of fame was almost over, and I'd be able to say that I truly enjoyed performing on the big stage.
"Wasn't she beautiful?" Miles voiced boomed over the speakers.
The crowd erupted into mayhem once again as the members of Ninja Bear ran onto the stage. Behind us was a flurry of activity while roadies feverishly placed instruments and set pieces.
Miles slammed into my side and threw a casual arm around my shoulders to smile out at the masses. Micah, Colton, Connor, and Jamie followed, linking arms to wave for their fans. We were enveloped in a thick cloud of rippling noise and twinkling camera flashes flickered like summer stars.
"We couldn't let her leave the stage without sharing a ditty!" Micah told the audience. He tossed me a beaming smile and mouthed Great job, which made me blush.
Accidentally, my eyes fell on Connor's in the line and I froze. The enraptured expression in his watery grey eyes sent a happy shiver through me, and I gave him a timid smile.
"What do you think, love?" Miles asked, pulling me away from Connor. "Will you join us for one last song?"
I responded mimicking his accent. "Let's do it!"
Connor broke off from the group and took up a position at the piano and we went right into God Only Knows. The boys sounded like melodious bards harmonizing along to my upper register.
Miles tried to mime the words and got down on one knee to warble at my feet. The front row of bodies in the audience rushed at the stage, trying to get a better view of us while I waved him off like it was no big deal.
Thankfully, Colton, Jamie, and Micah came to my rescue and got down on their knees in succession. The girls screamed frantically and I simulated my shock at the boy's dedications.
Then, just to give Lindsey a little more material, I left the boys behind to sit next to Connor at the piano. Micah, Jamie, and Colton artfully dropped their volume to give Connor and me a pseudo-duet, but Miles refused to play along. He sat on the other side of Connor to compete with our voices. It was a little awkward, but apparently cute as hell as the audience fell to pieces in fits of glee.
With our compilation complete, we took one final bow and I made a speedy exit off stage. Lindsey was waiting for me along with James and I was ferried into a black car.
"Well done," Lindsey commented dryly as soon as we were secure inside.
"Thanks?" I asked, raising a brow at her dour compliment.
"If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were actually enjoying your last few seconds in the limelight." She sniffed and turned away to study the road.
James threw me an appalled look and took my hand. "You did ah-mazing!" He pronounced. "Seriously, they were singing along! Did you see that?"
"I thought I did, but I couldn't tell." I lied with a renewed blush.
"And that song for your dad? Oh man, I cried!" James kept going. "You had everyone crying, including the guys in Ninja Bear. I saw Miles wiping his eyes."
"Did you get a picture of that?" Lindsey asked, suddenly interested in our conversation.
"Yeah, but it's not for sale." James imitated her dismissive sniff to a tee and I snorted a giggle.
"Try me," Lindsey sneered back with a curl of her red lips.
"Eighty thousand," James tossed over the pond.
"Done." Lindsey's clipped laugh indicated that she would have paid more. "I'll have a check for you tonight, exclusive rights of course."
"Of course," James replied with a Boy Scout salute and a pointed look in my direction.
"Keep up that kind of performing, and we just might cross paths again," Lindsey conceded at me. "The boys are going to be engaged tonight and we're going to keep you separated for now. It's nothing personal, but you're eighteen and we can't have any underage drinking scandals."
"What about the closing night party?" James asked for me.
"You will be there for the first hour, so we can get photographs. Then, a car will take you home." Lindsey was very severe about those terms. "As for the party, as long as your drinks are in nondescript cups, we should be fine."
"Can James come too?" I piped up. "It would be nice to have a friend there."
Lindsey didn't seem to care at all and nodded indifferently.
The rest of the ride was short and silent as James and I tried to have a conversation with our eyes. Lindsey was clearly distracted by her duties, and we managed to escape her soon enough.
Back in the safety of my suite, James and I celebrated with room service and a video call to Maddy and my mom. We toasted our sodas to my success and laughingly recounted the night to enthrall my sleepy daughter. It was eleven and Maddy was a bleary-eyed snuggle bug in my mom's arms, which made me yearn to trade places. Two more days I would be back to my baby.
After dinner, James and I tucked ourselves into the two king-sized beds in my suite. Both of us were square in the center of our own mattress with goofy grins and giddy squeals.
We fell asleep having a marathon conversation about what we were going to do with eighty thousand dollars of Lindsey's money. Our friendship had taken a serious blow, but for that moment, it felt as if everything were back to normal.
A distant tapping pulled me out of a fitful slumber around three in the morning. I stumbled uselessly for the door, feeling my way around in the dark and stubbing my toes on several immovable objects. When I opened it, the bright lights in the hallway assaulted my eyes and I shrank back with a hiss.
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Connor chuckled guiltily.
"Connor!" I cried happily, shielding my eyes to see his handsome face smiling back at me. "What are you doing here?"
"Telling you that I'm really proud of you," he replied. "And to give you this."
Connor's face hovered near mine and I felt his breath on my lips. His kiss was tender and brief and not long enough for the time that had elapsed between us, but it left me weak in the knees.
"Do you think I let my work speak for itself?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.
"That and more." He laughed with a nervous breath. "You blew people away. You had the roadies crying, Mimi! I'm not ashamed to say I may have cried a little myself."
"A real man admits his feelings," I told him with a smile. "Thank you, for everything."
"Of course. I wish I could come in and talk, but Lindsey is keeping us on lockdown and I have to get back to my room. I've got twenty minutes before the next check-in."
"Haha, wow, she's got you all on a tight leash," I remarked awkwardly. "Um, I'd ask you in, but James is staying with me."
"Oh." Connor's face fell suddenly and his eyes grew wide. "Is he-? Are you two?"
His voice trailed off and I giggled reticently. "No, he's still just my best friend," I assured him. "But we'd make too much noise, and you have to go back to your room."
"Oh yeah, that." He flashed me a grin and leaned in to kiss my cheek. "I need to do that."
I inhaled his scent. It was an exciting mixture of sweat and musky pheromones that made me want to snake my fingers through his tousled hair.
"I'll see you tonight," Connor said dreamily. "And, you'll be incredible, again."
"And the night after that." I agreed.
"I can't wait." He replied with a final virtuous kiss.
I missed posting last week (out of sheer laziness, I don't even have a good excuse other than I ALWAYS #amwriting.) Thank you so much for reading! I hope you've been having a rad week :D