Rain-
I woke up sweating, but I did not even remember my dream. I got up and looked at the clock- 12 p.m. exactly.
I slowly staggered off the bed, poured a tall glass of cold water, and gulped it down. I packed up the few things that I had taken out of my bag, and threw the strap over my shoulder, walking towards the elevator. I pressed the down button and when the elevator opened, I saw Kade leaning against the elevator wall, head down, and bleeding excessively.
I ran into the elevator and started whispering his name trying to fight the tears that were seconds away from drowning my flushed face. “Kade, Kade, Kade, please wake up, please, for me, please Kade, please.”
No response, then the heavy rush of tears began falling.
“Rain, what did I tell you about crying?” He let out a chuckle and so did I.
“Idiot! You shouldn't be worrying about that right now; I’m going to call the ambulance!”
“Don't stress, okay?” he whispered weakly.
I did not even bother answering his thick question. I called the ambulance, and went through the whole investigation process, which delayed my leave from the hotel. Soon, I was released, and Kade was taken to the hospital in a rush.
I left him without a word, because I did not want to have to deal with the pain that goodbye would have caused.
I ran to my car and threw my things in the backseat. I cried, something I had been doing a lot lately, the whole way to my parent’s driveway, but then I dried it up because I did not want them to see me like this. Seeing their normally happy daughter devastated and heartbroken, would hurt them as much as I was.
I had not seen any of my family in three years, and that killed me, because I was always a family baby. I missed my baby cousin’s birth, I missed my sister’s graduation, I missed my brother’s wedding, and my Grammies big Christmas dinners. Everything that was important to me had been pushed aside when I started college.
Of course, I still talked to them every single day but it was not the same as actually seeing their beautiful faces. I gave myself time to recoup and let my eyes go from red, to their normal color. My face lost its puffiness, and I smiled, because I was finally back at home.
My parents and the rest of my family knew nothing about me coming to Florida, so it was going to be a big surprise for them. I unloaded my whole car, and two by two started pulling them up to the front porch, I was barely able to get to the door because of all the bags.
I took a deep breath then knocked on the door. I heard my mom yelling at my dad to go get the door because she was cooking dinner. I just smiled, because not a thing had changed.
Dad finally reached the door and when he opened it, he let out a big gasp, then a smile, then tears, a kiss, and yells to my mom. Mom came running and greeted me with the same greeting except for she called my siblings that happened to be there today, it was all a big tear feast, I cried, they cried we all cried.
I finally unpacked then relaxed sitting on my daddy's lap as I always did when I lived here. My siblings and I talked, I played with their babies and kids, and we all had a great time.
I had most definitely missed this, and one thing was beginning to worry my mind…there was no way I was going to be able to leave here.
I ate dinner and spent a little more time with my family before I began to get ready for bed. It had been a long day for sure, but everything fell back into place as soon as I saw my family. I did not realize how much I had missed them.
I finished my shower and pulled on my nightdress and I sprawled out across my old bed. I ran my fingers through the threading, giving me flashbacks to my childhood. I could see it perfectly clear, as if it was happening right there in front of eyes again. We (Kali, Aporia, Leslie, Buffy and I) were having a pillow fight, when my mom walked in and lectured us on how much those pillows had cost to make and how hard the feathers were going to be to clean up.
All of our lips were quivering, because we were trying to refrain from laughing in front of my mom and getting in even more trouble. She gave us one last stern look before walking out but ended it with “Ah, heck. What am I even saying? Y’all are not going to listen to me, you never do so might as well have fun girls.”
We all said “Okay, mama” and immediately began giggling and talking about our latest crushes.
I smiled at the good memories and some of the pain eased away. It always made me feel good that they called my mom, their mom. I guess it was true when my daddy told me the little things would always mean the most.
For a moment, I erased all the drama and bad happenings in my life and allowed myself to think about the good things, after all that was all that mattered…right?
I woke up in the morning to the fire alarm going off. I jumped up and ran down the hall only to see my little sister with a pillow, standing on top of the wooden table trying to get it to go off.
I giggled and shook my head “Sophia, let me do it” I smiled and grabbed the pillow from her tiny hands.
“No, no, no I do it Rain. Sophia is a big girl.” She gave me a look that let me know that I needed to move.
“Fine” I said and trotted outside, because that alarm would not be going off anytime soon.
All my siblings except Sophia and James had went home, but Sophia was four and James was eleven, so they lived here anyway.
I looked around the many acres my family owned and again had flashbacks of my friends and me running around acting like a bunch of crazy kids who were supposed to be in a mental hospital instead of running wild and free.
My heart squeezed and I started walking towards the pasture with all of the horses. I did not know much about them and I could not really say I had ever wanted to know. They were not the most fascinating creatures on earth, but they were beautiful.
I walked up to my favorite horse Smokey, the name was kind of corny but that’s what Buffy, Aporia, Leslie, and Kali had wanted to name her, so Smokey it was.
Every time one of us had gotten our hearts broken, or we just felt lost, we would always find ourselves petting Smokey, or talking to her just as if she was a human. Matter of fact we had always considered her part of our “group.”
I rubbed my hands against her mangled mane and kissed her forehead.
“Smokey, I’m so lost.” I whispered. “I don’t know what to do, I’m confused. I miss the girls, you do to don’t you?” I looked into her eyes, hoping that she would answer me but of course, she did not, she never had…or at least never with human words.
“Old, Smokes. I always loved that darn horse, even though I don’t think she cared for me to much.” The voice startled me and I jumped probably ten feet high, embarrassing myself. “It’s just me Rain; my wound wasn’t too serious...so they let me out.”
I turned around to look at Kade. I rolled my eyes, and tried to ignore him by talking to Smokey, and trying to untangle her jet-black mane, which was not working out to well.
“Rain” he said “Just listen to me please, I’m not here to try to apologize and tell you I’m a better man…I just want to be your friend…I just want to be here for you because I do love you, no matter what you think.”
“Yeah, well what’s new Kade? You know I love you, but we cannot be together. It’s not good for neither of us…so please just leave me alone.”
With that, I walked off, knowing that I would never get Kade back, and I had to stand by that decision no matter what, because we both did not deserve to go through this, we both did not deserve to be in so much pain.
Kade-
I pulled up into the dusty driveway, knowing my game plan. I knew what I was going to say, I had planned it all out. Matter of fact I had spent days planning what I was going to say to her.
I did not want to screw up again, so I felt planning was necessary.
I drove my truck into the little trail in the woods, just so she wouldn’t see it and decide to never go outside of that house again, because Lord knows I wasn’t about to knock on that house door and face the wrath of her parents.
I saw her walk out of the door laughing, with that beautiful smile spread across that beautiful face. I felt a pain inside my stomach and I realized that the last time I talked to her I had been sure I was going to die. I had been sure that I would never see another day, never see her smile again.
I shook myself out of that cold, tragic train of thought and attempted to rebuild my nerves.
I switched the truck off and sat there for a few minutes, rehearsing what I was going to say. I finally jumped out and began walking towards her.
I saw her long, silky hair flowing as she ran her long fingers through Smokey’s mane. I did not understand why she had always loved that horse. I mean it would not let anyone ride it and it was not exactly unique. Plus she had always disliked horses, or at least they were not her favorite animal. She always said they were dirty, and scary. But that Smokey, she just could not stay away from her.
When she was not angry with me, she would take me over to the pasture and make me pet Smokey, she would say ‘so she can get used to you, you know…for when we get married’ then she would look away smiling, but blushing all at the same time.
She would tell me how she could tell Smokey anything and everything, she would tell me how much she loved that horse, how it never told a soul anything. I had always laughed at her and she would scowl at me. I’d say ‘Of course she don’t tell a soul, she can’t talk’ but Rain would just get mad and cross her arms and it was almost as if that horse could tell she was mad. She would nay and snatch her head at me, scaring me a little.
I chuckled at the thoughts, and before I could stop myself said “Old, Smokes. I always loved that darn horse but I don’t think she cared for me to much.”
Rain just snatched her head towards me and jumped a little. I looked into those beautiful eyes again and forgot everything I had planned on saying, and I mean everything.
I realized that I had scared her, and it shocked me. She had never really gotten scared easily; even when we would do some of the worst pranks to her, she would always brave it out. It made me wonder, what had happened to her while she had been gone.
“It’s just me Rain, my wound wasn’t too serious...so they let me out,” I said.
She rolled her eyes, and began trying to untangle Smokey’s mane, obviously ignoring me.
“Rain” I said “Just listen to me please, I’m not here to try to apologize and tell you I’m a better man…I just want to be your friend…I just want to be here for you because I do love you, no matter what you think.”
She spun around saying “Yeah, well what’s new Kade? You know I love you, but we cannot be together. It’s not good for neither of us…so please just leave me alone.”
She walked off and I watched everything I had ever loved in my life leave. I watched her walk off with pain in her eyes, but confidence in her expression. I loved her, that is exactly why I respected her decision, and that was why I did not try to stop her.
I did not try to stop my world from leaving.