"I love you", I blurted as I woke. I found my bed to be cold and lonely. I missed his muscular arm that I dreamt was wrapped around me as much as I missed the smell of him. My room was filled with flowers, but their scent had turned to nothing.
I shake my head violently. I pound it down again and again, but my thoughts will not dislodge themselves. God why am I dreaming about the things which are just impossible?!
After freshening and changing into my casual trouser and a jumper, I went down to fill my stomach. The moment I slide into my chair I'm served an enormous platter of food. Eggs, Toast. A tureen of fruit sits in the middle of the dining table. The basket of rolls they set before me would keep my family going for a week. There's an elegant glass of orange juice.
"Mama, do we have cereal?" I asked.
"Why? We have many things here." She replied.
"JazakAllah for that, but I'm not in a mood to eat any of this."
I went into the kitchen and decided to fix myself a bowl of cereal. I sat down at the dining room table, watching the colorful wheels of cereal float around in the bowl full of milk.
"Cherry, what happen? You look so weak. Why don't you visit the doctor?" Dad said.
"I'm fine, dad. It's just the weakness. And I'm taking my medicines, will go after a week or so." I said taking a spoonfull of cereal in my mouth.
"When is Zain coming back?" Mama asked.
"Don't know." I said looking down. "Where's Adeel?"
"He's in the backyard". She replied.
"Did he ate something?"
"Yes, he did."
"Dear, for how many days, this will go like this? You both should sit and talk. Everything can be solved by talking. He needs to know everything" Dad said.
"There won't be any solution to this problem."
"So you want us to just sit back, relax and see our child dying in front of us?" He said.
"Your child isn't dying. This won't take my life unless it's Allah's will." I replied.
"But initially your health will affect your life, dear, just look at yourself, you've lost so much weight during these months. This isn't good, sugar. Everything has a cure and the best cure of your problem is to talk." Mama said smiling.
"We are all here for you, always." Dad said stroking my back.
After breakfast I went up. I was tired of staying inside the house so I called Sanjh and told her to meet me at our favourite cafe, but she declined. She told me that she'll visit me tomorrow. It was around eleven, when I decided to call him.
"Hello" he picked up after five rings.
"Hey, how are you?" I asked
"Fine and you?" He asked back.
"Good."
"Then, why are you sounding so low?" He asked.
"Nothing, was just bored. Had your breakfast?"
"Hmm.."
"Howz work going?"
"Great!!" He sarcastically said making me chuckle. "How's Adeel?"
"He's fine. But, just started annoying me alot these days." I said thinking about yesterday. I left him just for ten minutes in the room and in that meantime, he opened my dresser, took out all the makeup and voila, he was ready to party!!!
"So at least you have someone to entertain you all day long!!" He laughed.
"You're so enjoying this, right!!" I huffed. He chuckled. "Where are you?"
"In my Cabin"
"Alone?"
"Nope, with Mariam." He said.
"Why?"
"What why? We're Colleagues" he said in a duh tone. Something pinched my heart. I didn't knew what to say, so I remained quiet. "Hey, what happened?" He asked again.
"Nothing"
"Then why suddenly so quiet?"
"Nothing"
"Mrs.Abdullah, you don't have to worry about anything. I was just teasing you. I'm alone, apart for the files and papers. After that day I've stopped talking to her, unless it's needed to. And, all the work that is related to her is now handled by my Manager." He explained.
"I don't have any issues with her." I said.
"That I can totally see!!"
"Shut up". He just laughed. "Zain?"
"Yes?"
"Do you care for me?"
"What type of a question is this? Ofcourse, I do"
"Then, you'll do anything for me out of care?"
"Hani, what's wrong?"
"It's just, Adeel misses his father." I said slowly.
"And what about her mother? Doesn't she misses her husband?" He's so witty.
"Ofcourse she does!! Come soon Mr.Husband." I said ignoring all the damn zoo coming alive in my stomach.
"I miss you too, sweetheart." My heart skipped a beat. A blush was formed on my cheeks. I quickly hang up the phone, breathing deeply.
I kept walking around the house, wishing my father was here to occupy the loneliness that was eating me up. I pushed myself into my mother's old room - we kept this door closed as if we could trap the memories inside. But once I opened it, every recollection would race towards me like a slap in the face, drenching me in a cold sadness. I could smell her, sweet vanilla lingering in the air. Silence suffocates. I can practically see her smiling in her silly beige skirt covered by a peach cardigan...
All around the walls are pictures of Dad, of his acheivement and of us kids. He is there too, grinning like an idiot. I close my eyes, letting my mind fill with his voice. I can hear him teasing me like he's just feet away; my mind fills with witty retorts she will never hear to these jibes, she can never say. I want to call her softly to see if she can step out of the dusty frame, but this isn't Hogwarts and I'm no Hermione Granger...
I clasp the photo of the last time I saw them together, tears gathering behind my eyes. He was smiling. Why not? They were on a date which was arranged by me, it was the best date ever he once said. And the only date I've ever actually seen him have fun. I briskly wipe the tears from my eyes, the memory still fresh in my mind. I wish he was here so that he could comfort me.
After pouring my heart out, I decided to take a cold shower. I'm not bleeding from the last seven days. But I know that sooner or later, I'll again start bleeding. I did talked to the doctor, she told me that it'll increase more unless we come to a decision.
Sooner or later, he'll come to know about it. But, I'm just not able to prepare myself as to how to break the news to him. What will I say to him? What will he say to me? Will he believe me? Or will he think of this as a clickbait?
Staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I am shocked. I look okay, normal even. Inside, the ache for him gnaws at the very heart that still beats endlessly for him. I pull my lips into a smile, and let out a frightened sob when I realise that anyone could easily mistake this lacklustre grin for real happiness. It amazes me to think; how can I look so ordinarily normal when I have crumbled inside?
"Hani, Hani, come down fast, sugar. Look whose here" Mama shouted from downstairs. I took a deep breath, wrapped my hijab, straightened my dress and walked down.
My eyes and my mouth were frozen, wide open in an expression of stunned surprise, and although I was staring straight at him I appeared not to notice him at all.
"Sameer?" I spoke ever so softly.
My eyes were trained on some invisible spectre, my heavy eyelids a fraction too slow to blink, my irises too stationary. It was as if my brain was suffering a massive short circuit and was struggling to compute. Sameer moved into my line of sight, touching my cheek with the side of his thumb, his lips forming a pensive grin. My head tilted upward to his face, my eyes sliding into focus.
"I'm here now, cutiepie".
That was enough for me.
It’s hard to find that someone whom you can call “best friend”because it seems like they come and go.
But sometimes life cooperates; the stars and planets align to give you that window of opportunity to discover something really great.
It is an overwhelming feeling to meet someone, especially a dear friend, after a long time. This moment is as much a nostalgic one as it is enjoyable.
I met him after a gap of almost a year and a half. It was just amazing and I cannot express the joy such meeting brings. After that we spent so much time just remembering old days, memories had together thereafter. By remembering those days beautiful occasions and bad also and blaming each other that was happened due to you etc in funny manner.
Then we start compliments that you don't have any change etc. So these are the good moment of life to meet persons whose value had important in some period of our life.
"One moment I'm important, next minute I'm background at best, can't say which one I prefer. What's making my head spin are the transitions. I know everything is 'need-to-know' and 'last minute' for a reason, but there are days it feels like my brain cells have been randomized." I said taking a sip of my coffee.
"Wao, you understood this, very fast!!" He chuckled.
"Here, I'm serious and you're being sarcastic!!" I glared.
"I was just cheering you up!!"
"I'm overwhelemed!!" I acted.
"Drama queen"
"Shut up"
"Nope"
"Sameer, I'm going to sleep"
"I bet you won't. And if you, then you're gonna dream of me with thirty-seven teeth, mid waist pink hair, running towards you" he said.
"Ewwww....Sameer!!" I can't even imagine him also. I walked in to my room, with my cell blaring. I quickly rushed to pick up, so that it won't wake Adeel up.
"Hello" I said taking deep breaths.
"Hani? What's wrong? You alright?" Zain asked in a worried tone.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. You called me at this time? It's three in the morning." Now I was worried.
"Hani, I wanted to say--"
*Knock Knock*
"Just a sec". I opened the door and Sameer was standing with a goofy smile on his face.
"What happened?" I asked him
He didn't said anything just did a sign which meant "missing you".
"I'll smack you!!" I said in a warning tone.
"Hani?"
"Ye-yes, Zain?"
"Who was there?"
*Knock Knock*
Again Sameer was there making weird faces. I laughed.
"Who the hell is there?" Zain shouted.
"Geez...Calm down man, Sameer is here." I said trying not to laugh loudly.
After shooing him off again, I spoke.
"Yes, you were saying something?"
*Beep beep*
The line went off...