hey guys before you rush to read the chapter, i have a few announcements: THE END OF THIS BOOK IS NEAR. if you're a regular reader of my books, you know that I sometimes do chapters in the guys perspective. that being said, i'm making a poll (that i'll probably post next chapter) that'll allow you guys to vote on which chapters you want me to write in Dominic's perspective. Also, I have 2-3 other books I plan on writing this summer (including the hiatus-ed the perfect balance) so IF YOU MAKE COVERS PM ME. I have a cover for one of the books already but not the other two. Lastly, thank y'all for being patient with this update. I was not home last night and I had to work this morning so I was really not able to update until now. :) enjoy.
I stare at him, waiting for some kind of reaction. I just told him I like him and he's gaping at me in silent shock. My face is only getting redder and my palms are just getting sweatier. To encourage some kind of reaction, I throw his phone at him. "Say something!" I insist. His phone lands with a thud in the hamper behind him and he opens and closes his mouth like a fish.
"What?" he blurts. His eyes widen, revealing his deep green irises, which are clouded in confusion. How much clearer can I get?
"I'm not saying it again," I tell him.
"You like me?" he proposes as he grips the edges of the desk.
"Yes," I grunt as I grab my pillow. I throw it at him and one of his hands shoots out and catches it.
"You mean like-like?" he requests clarification as he clutches the pillow to his chest. "As in more than a friend? As in you have feelings for me?"
"That's what liking someone means," I grumble in annoyance at him for dragging this confession out. I throw my other pillow, which he catches and hugs, too. He stares at me in pure disbelief.
"Are you sure you're not drunk?" he asks. I squint at him as I contemplate taking the easy way out. I can easily back out of this confession by claiming I'm under the influence and rolling over to sleep. But I've already started so I might as well get it all out.
"I'm not drunk," I inform him. His eyes flit between both of mine and he exhales quietly, which causes my stomach to jump in my body.
"Why didn't you say anything before?" he questions. I feel myself calming down when I don't see him keeled over puking. His forehead is wrinkled and his eyebrows are tugged together in a dubious and confused expression.
"Because you would've assumed I started liking you after we slept together," I respond as I flop back onto my back. I hear shuffling and I watch as he pulls himself up alongside me on the bed.
"Is that not what happened?" he asks and he tugs my legs onto his lap. I avoid his gaze as I collect the pillows and put them under my head. I wish he'd have smothered me with them. That would've been better than enduring this awkwardly casual conversation.
"No," I answer in short.
"Since when?" he questions as his eyes search my face. I'm suddenly hit with a realization: I'm finally doing it. I'm finally telling him about my feelings.
"Junior year," I answer quickly and a look of pure shock travels across his face. He does a double take as his mouth opens into a surprised 'O'. "I know... I'm such an idiot."
"Are you being serious right now?" he asks, which only makes me feel worse. I swallow my nerves and continue. There's no getting out of this situation so I might as well get it all off my chest.
"Yes," I answer. It's a little too late to say 'haha just kidding!'
"Why didn't you ever say anything?" he repeats urgently as he shakes my legs.
"Because I didn't want to be rejected," I tell him with a sigh.
"You're kidding me, right?" he replies.
"I didn't want to deal with the awkwardness. Even now I'm scared because I don't know what's going to change. But I'm also relieved because I've kept all of this in for a while now. I just can't keep pretending to be okay with casual sex and all of that-," I rant but he cuts me off.
"Nova," he starts as he lightly shakes my legs again to get my attention, "you're kidding me, right?"
I stare at him in confusion. "What?" I retort.
"I've been actively pursuing you for the past year and you've blocked every single shot I've taken," he explains. When he notes my curious and slightly confused gaze, he sighs. "Nova, I flirted with you every single day since I met you! I introduced you to my parents! I stopped sleeping around! My friends literally harass me about it- even in front of you! What did you think all of that was for?"
"So you like me?" I conclude.
"So much! That's new information to you?" he responds with a look of shock on his face. "You're telling me you didn't already know?"
"No! I just thought you were a flirt! You never outright said anything!" I respond.
"I dropped everything to come over here just to kiss you and you weren't aware that I liked you, Nova? Seriously?" he complains.
"I just thought you were sexually frustrated! I knew you were going through a dry spell," I excuse. "As for everything else, I just thought that's how you treat your best friend!"
"Why would I ask you to marry me if I only saw you as my best friend?" he asks with narrowed eyes.
"I don't know! I just thought you were a flirt," I reiterate. "Why couldn't you tell that I liked you? I made it obvious."
"Because everytime I flirted with you, you'd reject me! Until you just stopped and everything just got twenty times more confusing from there!" he explains.
"I literally had sex with you," I respond. "And you didn't think I liked you?"
"I just thought you were feeling sexually liberated!" he retorts.
"What about the jealous breakdown I had?" I suggest.
"I just thought you were upset because you didn't like Raven!" he answers. "Maybe if you didn't have Eli bobbing and weaving through all of this, I'd have made myself more clear."
"Oh I don't want to hear that Mr. Secret Group Chat Conversations," I retort.
"Those messages were literally the guys telling me to just suck it up and tell you how I feel!" he explains. "That's all they were! They were trying to convince me that you like me. The text you saw in the car was Jack bringing up the so-called jealous breakdown you had about Raven!"
"Why didn't you just tell me?" I demand. "You're supposed to be the outgoing one who's open to everything and anything."
"Why didn't you just tell me? If I'm so open to everything and anything, why wouldn't I be open to having that conversation?" he retorts.
"I was going to but you freaked out when I told you I loved you so I got scared," I blurt.
"You meant that?" he asks in a quiet voice. I stare at him for a few seconds before turning my gaze to the ceiling.
"Yeah, I did," I finally reveal.
"I feel like I'm going to pass out," he confesses. "This is all happening so fast."
"Did I drop the L bomb too soon?" I ask.
"No," he answers. "Oh yeah, and another thing, I've told you that I love you practically everyday for the last year and a half, and you're telling me you didn't know."
"You can't blame me for that one," I quickly defend. "I'd have driven myself crazy if I read too much into that. It was better for both of us that I assumed you meant it as a friend."
"As a friend?" he scoffs. "That's stupid."
"Did Jack and West know you liked me? I mean, before the whole group chat drama," I question and he laughs loudly.
"Everyone did! Except you," he retorts. "Even Adrian knew- that asshole."
"Is that why you punched him in the face?" I ask.
"Yes!" he replies with a sigh of relief. "He knew I liked you but he went after you anyway and in a weird, disrespectful way."
"Wow..." I trail. "Why didn't you say anything in the beginning?"
He goes silent as he purses his lips. "A lot of reasons..." he trails. "Do you want the long explanation or the short one?" he asks.
"The long one," I respond, which gets a sigh out of him.
"Well, in the beginning when I first met you, I thought 'wow, she's cute' but it was just that. I looked at you kind of like a little girl because I knew you were so innocent. I didn't even have to ask," he explains.
"Gee thanks," I mumble. It's not everyday that your crush tells you he saw you as a little girl from the start.
"It was funny though because you knew who I was from the jump. You knew I got around and you made it clear that you weren't interested. I didn't even risk flirting with you too much because I knew you'd put me in my place. In short, I knew from then on that you were out of my league. So I kind of just told myself not to bother going after you and that you would just be a special girl in my life. But I knew that if I ever planned on settling down, it'd be with you...or someone as similar to you as I can get. At least I hoped it would," he confesses.
"So basically you friend zoned me is what you're saying?" I inquire with a large grin.
"For your sake, not mine," he remarks. "And I definitely gave you multiple opportunities to get out of it. Now tell me, when did you start liking me?"
I squint slightly as I stare at his entertained expression. "I always thought you were cute, even before I met you. When you asked me to tutor you, I was really nervous. You were popular and good looking and you had all the cheerleaders and softball players talking about you. I thought you were so out of my league that I literally told myself to not even think about you in that way, so I didn't at first," I explain, which earns a scoff from him.
"Gee thanks," he comments.
"But then I got to know you and you were nice and funny. I wished we could be friends but I didn't think you'd be interested in that. Then you started asking me to go with you to parties and I assumed it was a form of payment for tutoring you. It wasn't until you started hanging out with me doing things I liked that I realized that you were trying to be my friend," I go on.
"You make me sound like an asshole," he mumbles.
"I had to think you were or else I'd have fallen for you way sooner," I respond. "I think I started to really like you around New Years of junior year. I thought it was cute how you spent the night with me instead of your friends. When you kissed me on the cheek, I knew I was a goner."
He stares at me for a second. "Why didn't you say anything?" he repeats the most common phrase of the night.
"Look at it my way; in high school, you were really popular and you got with so many girls. I hadn't even kissed a boy and I had three friends that I wasn't even close to. I would have looked so stupid had I told you," I inform him and he shrugs.
"It's not like I hadn't heard it before," he mumbles, which earns a narrowed gaze from me.
"That's another thing; I didn't want to be just another girl you slept with," I respond. "I didn't want you to sleep with me and then leave."
"I would never," he answers.
"I know that now," I tell him and he stares at me before letting a giggle slip out. "What?"
"Isn't it funny how a couple months ago we couldn't even talk about sex and now we're doing it...together?" he asks, which gets a laugh out of me.
"Yeah, a little," I admit. I'm nervous to ask where we go from here.
"So...are you going to ask me?" he replies. I stare down at our fingers, which he tied together. He plays loosely with my fingers, rubbing circles in my palm thoughtlessly.
"Ask you what?" I respond.
"To marry you," he answers. I laugh loudly in response to that.
"Just skip the whole dating thing right? From friends with benefits to engaged?" I suppose.
"Why waste the time?" he shrugs, which gets a laugh from me.
"You claim to not be ready for a serious relationship yet you want to get married," I continue with the joke.
"I only told you that I wasn't ready for a serious relationship to get you off my back about why I wasn't dating," he confesses. "I was being honest though when I said I couldn't see myself in a relationship because I couldn't bring myself to get over you."
I stare at him for a few seconds. "So you're ready for a relationship?" I inquire.
"Yes," he answers, which gets a slow nod from me. "So?"
"So what?" I reply.
"So are you going to ask me to be your boyfriend? I'm not getting any younger," he jokes.
I stare at him and roll my eyes. I raise myself into a sitting position and grasp his hands in mine. I stare longingly into his eyes and he raises his shoulder to his face girlishly. "No," I say bluntly before dropping his hands and laying back down.
"What?" he gapes at me.
"You're asking me," I respond. "I initiated this whole conversation so you're going to ask me to be your girlfriend."
He grins at me. "Fine," he says. He grabs my hands and yanks me back up so I'm facing him. I sigh as he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" I assess his features and give a weak shrug as I repress a smile.
"Sure, I've got nothing better to do," I answer as the large grin makes its way onto my face. I nudge him in the side and he shifts away from me.
"Can I tell the guys? They're going to be so surprised. And happy for me. And Adrian can literally kiss my-," he starts to ramble but I cut him off.
"Can we tell them together? In person? I want to see their responses," I reply and he sighs loudly.
"We're not going to see them for a week and a half," he reminds me grumpily.
"I waited two years for this. You can wait a week and a half," I answer.
"I can't wait to show you off," he comments as he pokes my stomach. I bite back a girlish giggle as I stare at him. He suddenly gasps, which throws me off. "How are we going to tell your parents?"
"Jeez," I mumble as I dramatically turn my attention out the window. "I didn't think you'd die so soon."
"Your dad probably will kill me," he shrugs. "At least I'll die doing what I love- talking about you."
"Where do you come up with this stuff?" I blurt, which earns a grin from him.
"I can't wait to tell my parents," he continues to ramble.
"They knew?" I ask.
"Yes," he admits sheepishly. "My mom knew for a while and she eventually told my dad."
"So literally everyone knew but me," I comment.
"That's what I said," he retorts. He's hit with another realization and cups my face in his hands. "Does this mean I can kiss you wherever, whenever? And we can hold hands? And do the cringeworthy couple stuff?"
"Yes," I answer with a smile as I lightly touch his wrists. He lightly presses his lips against mine in a quick manner, which causes me to smile in excitement.
"You don't know how happy I am right now," he says as he locks eyes with me.
"I do," I confess before falling back on my bed. I motion for him to lay with me and he shuffles over. In a desperate attempt to be closer to him, I wrap my arms around him in the best sideways hug I can manage and I sigh. "Now I can tell people you're my boyfriend."
"Or soon-to-be husband," he suggests. "I don't mind."
I laugh loudly as I close my eyes. "Shut up, Dominic."