~A year later~Senior year of high school~
Taehyung—
I walked through the halls, hands in my pockets. The hood of my black hoodie, hung over my silver hair, giving me an oppressing air. A few people, that pass by me, casted frightened glances. Others, girls, batted their lashes flirtatiously. A few students just nodded, acknowledging my presence. Some just brushed past, not daring to bother me.
Let me make this clear, to you. I don't bully people, randomly. I only bully those who hurt others. Sure, to someone else's eyes, what I'm doing is just bullying, and that's that. Nothing less, nothing more. Really, it's more like I harass the weak, who prey on the weaker. I'm not some sort of undercover superhero, but I don't just want to hurt people who don't deserve it.
I guess a few found my change in personality...attractive? The "bad boy" concept must be a trend, nowadays. Although, I wouldn't call myself a "bad boy." I'm more like a victim of heartbreak. Someone who has been jaded, and twisted. Call me pathetic for changing myself because of failed love. What would you have done, if you were in my position? Probably a better job, than me, I suppose.
I don't think that matters, at this point, anymore, though.
I'm far too gone.
I trekked to the cafeteria, hands deep in my pockets. The cafeteria quieted down, drastically, as I entered the room. My eyes flicked over the area, unseeing. I made my way to my table, and sat down, next to Jimin. He nodded, when he saw me. "Hey, Tae," he murmured, softly. I nodded, slightly, in greeting.
"Taehyung, what's wrong? You're quieter than you usually are," Hosoek questioned, worriedly. I shrugged nonchalantly, but on the inside, I was surprised that my friends could tell how I felt, even with my change of personality. It only took them a little bit to know when I'm troubled, or sad, or happy; even with the blank, emotionless mask on my face.
Yoongi, lifted his head, from his arms, and narrowed his sleepy eyes at me. "Spit it out kid, what'd you do this time?"
I scowled at my friends, but sighed. "I got in trouble, again," I confessed. "Teacher saw me beating up some freshman, who was threatening some poor kid. I tried to explain myself, but bitch didn't want to listen to me."
I noticed that they all flinched, still probably not used to me swearing.
The innocent Taehyung never cursed. The old me would never dream of even hurting a fly.
Now, here I am. Cussing and beating people up. A total one-eighty from my former self.
Wanting to try and lighten up the mood, I cracked a small smile. "The cameras will justify me, don't worry, guys."
I always felt bad that I always brought such a sullen mood, to the table, and I know that they all, secretly, are disappointed in me. Yet, how could you blame me?
Jimin cleared his throat, "so, um, Taehyung...we've been talking and..." He trailed off, making me raise an eyebrow.
"What is it, Jimin?" I sighed. He frowned, before speaking again. "When are you going to get over Jungkook?" That made me blink in surprise.
"Get over Jungkook"?
I've already gotten over him. Can't you see? I'm already past that bastard.
Or am I, really?
The hesitation in my heart, did not show, as I scoffed, in response. "Nice one, Jimin. That was funny. But you all know that I'm over that son of a bitch."
They all winced, when I cursed again.
"But...Taehyung...if you were over him, why are you still like...this?" Hoseok asked, gently.
I narrowed my eyes, "like what? Hurting people? Cursing? Acting like someone completely different from my past self?"
A sigh came from Yoongi, and he gave me a glare. "Yes, Taehyung. That's what we, fucking, mean. You used to be innocent and happy all of the time, If you are truly over Jungkook, then why are you still so sullen and moody? Why are you still shrouded in darkness?"
Heated, boiling, anger rushed through me. I got up from the table, clenching my fists, to keep them from striking someone, and doing something I'd regret later. I scowled, at my friends.
They didn't deserve this.
But, I was angry.
And I was pathetic.
Because, a little part of me still wishes for Jungkook to come back, and to love me. No. A huge part of me wishes for him to come back and love me.
Yet, the question is if he does, will I ever forgive him?
Probably not.
"The way I am, now, no longer concerns that jerk," I growled. "He no longer affects my life, so how I am now is what I want to be. End of discussion."
With that being said, I spun on my heel, and marched away, not even sparing a look backwards. Even when Jimin called for me to come back, I stomped away, and out into the empty hallway. I took a turn, and walked to the back of the school, where there were no cameras to catch me. I pulled out a pack of cigarettes, and took out my lighter.
I lit the cigarette, and breathed in the nicotine, letting it calm me. Blowing out a huge puff, I leaned my head against the wall, and closed my eyes. But, when I closed my eyes, all I could see was him. I hated that I still wanted him. I hated that I've descended into this hell, because of him, but I still wanted him to come back to me, and to make me go back to what I used to be.
Happy, carefree, bubbly.
Now, my emotions have shut off. I'm incapable of love, at this point. Or so I thought.
Sure.
I can fake happiness and I can crack a joke here and there.
But, really, the only emotions I can show are very limited.
I think I've forgotten how to smile, sincerely.
It's all because of him.
But, I can't keep blaming Jungkook for putting me in this state. I'm to blame, as well. I was so foolish not to read the signs, and was foolish to let him affect me like this.
I'm a pathetic creature, really.
I took another long drag from my cigarette, before dropping it, and stomping on it, with the sole of my black boot. I held up my lighter, and flicked it, and watched the flame flicker and wave.
Fire is really mesmerizing, really. It's beautiful in a dangerous, hellish way.
It's a twisted kind of beauty.
I let go of the switch, snuffing out the flame, and pocketed the lighter.
Slowly, I trudged out of my hiding spot, and glared at the ceiling, when the bell rang, signaling that lunch was over. "Half a day left," I sighed, wearily.
I shoved my hands into my pockets, and headed towards my next class. It was all a blur, to be honest.
The students walking past me, hurrying to their next period. The posters decorating the white walls. The teachers bustling about, papers in hand. It was all blurry, and out of focus.
Warily, I plopped down in my seat, waiting for my literature teacher to come back from her lunch break. As always, I'm the first one in class.
I no longer have the need to stay outside and talk to my friends. I don't have anything worthwhile to distract myself with, so I could stay out of the classroom.
The teacher, Ms. Yoo, the youngest in the staff, walked into the class. She tucked her hair behind her ear, and walked up to my desk. I looked up at her, frowning slightly.
"Are we meeting up after school today?"
My heart was screaming at me. Telling me that what I was doing was wrong.
But, my mouth said something different.
I smirked, and nodded. "Let's go to your house, this time, hmm?"
Her cheeks grew rosy and flushed, before she cleared her throat, and headed back up the isle, and returned to her desk.
You're making a mistake! My conscience echoed a whisper.
I already knew that.
—
We'll be meeting Jungkook next chapter ;) Ooooh, boy, he's in trouble :p
-Author-nim