My quarters on Kavarka seems small now, its tokens sparse, but neat and organized. I must figure out what I want to take on the ship. Should I take that lonely schematics poster of the Scimitar designed by me and my best friend, Ila Enem. Ila is the daughter of the Executive Commander of Engineering June Enem Deenamst and Jack Enem, once my mother's dearest friends. I owe Ila's mother. After Mother died, Father took me out of Engineering and placed me in Military Arts classes near him. June convinced Father I could continue taking engineering classes without interfering with my new Military Arts duties. In fact, it could only help them, I had a unique perspective on weapons and aeronautics designs. I preferred the engineering of artificial intelligence like Mother, but Father wouldn't allow that area anymore. He allowed classes only if I fulfilled my Military Arts duties first and thoroughly. I gave him no excuse to take it away and took what I could get.
Ila and I were in the same class when I was a part of Engineering Division.
"What ship are you on?" Ila asks, giving me her best impression of a motherly look from my bed. My emotional state is always up for her inspection.
"The Scimitar. It makes logical sense," I say, but I believe I'd be far more suited for to be where my passion is in Engineering than command of a ship. I can't be both and there is no choice. "I have to report soon to oversee the installation of an interface and carriage for the Caretaker," I tell her now. "I hope we will be together. You're the best part of our team."
"And Seger as well?" she asks, deflating my hope.
"It's okay if he isn't with me."
"Are you sure you want to marry him?"
"We had a fight, but he's enough, and expected. There is no way Father will split us, he wants us together. Our engagement will ensure he will be assigned with me. Father will make him a lieutenant aboard, like at the War Game. He just can't be my first lieutenant.
"Sure, he's cute with long blond hair and an impressive frame, but have you ever thought you deserve more than enough? You both have the pedigrees but marrying him would be a dreary duty."
"You want to work together on the Scimitar?"
"Love how you change the subject, but I need to go to quarters. Parental units want to spend the last days together as much as possible with Eche and I."
"Understandable." This might be the last time to marvel at Ila's unreasonably long disheveled hair and her immaculately engineered brain. I stretched out my hand to shake goodbye. "I will not forget you, even if we are on separate ships."
Grabbing my hand and pulling me into an unfamiliar token of affection, she whispers, "I will miss you too. You have beautiful hair. Let it loose occasionally."
My body convulses. It's warring between mydesperate need never to let her go, and the controlled military prescribed wayof dealing with grief. "Yes. Why are you always obsessed with hair?"turning away and exit quarters toward my ship, following my training stompingeach emotion deep underfoot. My feet move me forward, but my heart squeezes andholds. The military way is not working. I increase my pace to a jaunt to myship, trying to gain distance from the uncanny similarities of Ila's andMother's last hug. I'm constantly reminded of my resemblance to Mother with ouridentical faces and red hair. Anything I could not recall of her in my youngmind is reduced to vague deductions of where I got my quirks and the birthmarkon my shoulder. Aeryk and I could never question her death. We children leftadrift and alone to solve our problems and feelings about her. We learned thatwe'd better settle them or hide the resulting fractures well. My quarters on Kavarka seems small now, its tokens sparse, but neat and organized. I must figure out what I want to take on the ship. Should I take that lonely schematics poster of the Scimitar designed by me and my best friend, Ila Enem. Ila is the daughter of the Executive Commander of Engineering June Enem Deenamst and Jack Enem, once my mother's dearest friends. I owe Ila's mother. After Mother died, Father took me out of Engineering and placed me in Military Arts classes near him. June convinced Father I could continue taking engineering classes without interfering with my new Military Arts duties. In fact, it could only help them, I had a unique perspective on weapons and aeronautics designs. I preferred the engineering of artificial intelligence like Mother, but Father wouldn't allow that area anymore. He allowed classes only if I fulfilled my Military Arts duties first and thoroughly. I gave him no excuse to take it away and took what I could get.
Ila and I were in the same class when I was a part of Engineering Division.
"What ship are you on?" Ila asks, giving me her best impression of a motherly look from my bed. My emotional state is always up for her inspection.
"The Scimitar. It makes logical sense," I say, but I believe I'd be far more suited for to be where my passion is in Engineering than command of a ship. I can't be both and there is no choice. "I have to report soon to oversee the installation of an interface and carriage for the Caretaker," I tell her now. "I hope we will be together. You're the best part of our team."
"And Seger as well?" she asks, deflating my hope.
"It's okay if he isn't with me."
"Are you sure you want to marry him?"
"We had a fight, but he's enough, and expected. There is no way Father will split us, he wants us together. Our engagement will ensure he will be assigned with me. Father will make him a lieutenant aboard, like at the War Game. He just can't be my first lieutenant.
"Sure, he's cute with long blond hair and an impressive frame, but have you ever thought you deserve more than enough? You both have the pedigrees but marrying him would be a dreary duty."
"You want to work together on the Scimitar?"
"Love how you change the subject, but I need to go to quarters. Parental units want to spend the last days together as much as possible with Eche and I."
"Understandable." This might be the last time to marvel at Ila's unreasonably long disheveled hair and her immaculately engineered brain. I stretched out my hand to shake goodbye. "I will not forget you, even if we are on separate ships."
Grabbing my hand and pulling me into an unfamiliar token of affection, she whispers, "I will miss you too. You have beautiful hair. Let it loose occasionally."
My body convulses. It's warring between mydesperate need never to let her go, and the controlled military prescribed wayof dealing with grief. "Yes. Why are you always obsessed with hair?"turning away and exit quarters toward my ship, following my training stompingeach emotion deep underfoot. My feet move me forward, but my heart squeezes andholds. The military way is not working. I increase my pace to a jaunt to myship, trying to gain distance from the uncanny similarities of Ila's andMother's last hug. I'm constantly reminded of my resemblance to Mother with ouridentical faces and red hair. Anything I could not recall of her in my youngmind is reduced to vague deductions of where I got my quirks and the birthmarkon my shoulder. Aeryk and I could never question her death. We children leftadrift and alone to solve our problems and feelings about her. We learned thatwe'd better settle them or hide the resulting fractures well.