/'Your feelings are valid.
You have every right to feel whatever emotion you want.
You aren't being dramatic.
You aren't over exaggerating.
You're feeling and that's okay.'
-Anonymous/
Glaiza
Her face glow against the warm light, she looks more of a goddess. I always admire her beauty but the glittering dress and the blonde hair is taking my breath away.
She's an angel personified, every inch of her face is perfection. Her hair is expertly brush up with her flawless shoulder highlighting her upper body, i dont know where to start looking.
Im in the middle of daydreaming when a tall blonde cross dresser approach Rhian and kiss her check, she held her hand and i knew she's someone significant.
For a moment, my heart stop beating, all the slow motion and fireworks in my head turn into a gloomy sunday afternoon. Rhian suddenly wore the same expression she has when i caught her making out with Katrina.
I break eye contact and hold back my tears, taking a few deep breathing and a couple of head shaking, i turn back and head to the lobby.
I held my chest, God im hurting.
I always believe im over her, over us. But with this epic pain in my heart, its pretty clear that im wrong.
I fish out my key from my purse, my hand are shaking. Binilisan ko ang paglalakad, gusto ko lumayo at mawala. Malakas ang kalabog ng aking sapatos and its grabbing everyone's attention, but i dont care.
Im meters away from my ride when a familiar voice call my name from behind, ill bet heaven and earth that its Rhian. I slowly turn around and it was really her, Rhian and all her glory.
This pain is wrong, she's an ex girlfriend. If she found a new love after 10 years, i cant hold it against her. Namumula na ang mata ko sa pagpipigil ng luha.
She looks so beautiful, so mature, so glamorous.
Ang laki na ng pinagbago niya, but she still has this freaking effect on me.
Is it possible that my love stand the test of time?
---------------------------------
Rhian
"Glai...."
Mabuti at mabilis ko siyang nasundan. I dont understand this weird beating of my heart. I haven't experience this for the last ten years.
Glaiza slowly turn my way, nasa kamay na niya ang kanyang susi at ready na umalis. Her eyes are telling me she's hurt and i know why.
Ten years na kaming hiwalay pero pakiramdam ko para akong nagtaksil sa kanya, kitang kita ko ang sakit sa mukha niya ng nakita niyang hinalikan ako ni Erika.
Slowly, i walk towards her, nanginginig ang buo kong katawan and i can see Glaiza's hand shaking.
"Glai?"
I dont know what to say, hindi ko alam saan magsisimula, kung ano ang tamang sabihin.
Out of the blue, she hug me.
Her hands snake around my lower back and i instantly wrap my arms around her nape.
At this moment, im sure pareho kaming umiiyak and im sure pareho kaming walang idea kung bakit.
Damn, i miss her embrace.
Her scent send chills to my every muscle, i can get lost in the moment.
We're both digging our face to the others neck. I still have a million peso event in my hand but i dont care, all i want is to savour this moment with Glaiza.
Slowly, we free our self from the embrace, nakatingin lang kami sa isat-isa.
"Rhi..."
She said in almost a sob, pinunasan ko ang luha sa pisngi niya while she reach for my hand, Glaiza kiss the back of it just like what she use to do.
After all this time, hindi man lang kami nagkahiyaan or nagkailangan.
"Babe?"
"G?"
Sabay kaming napatingin sa may bandang lamp post, Erika and Miss Megan standing in confusion.
Nagkatinginan kami ni Glaiza, she's not letting go of my hand. Erika is questioning me by the way she looks.
Oh my God, im not ready for this.
-------------------------------
Glaiza
Nasa reception na kami, my eyes are hurting with the sight of Erika and Rhian on the other table opposite to mine.
Napakaclingy ng pesteng Erika, nakakaumay. Akbay siya ng akbay, sarap ipa-tokhang.
Rhian cant focus working dahil parang asong ulol itong girlfriend niya, sunod ng sunod.
Rhian and i keep on throwing glances at each other, our eyes are talking to each other. I want to talk to her, i want to catch up on things pero nasasaktan din ako makita na may bago na siyang girlfriend.
Im drowning in confusion, after all this years, with just one look of Rhian's beautiful eyes and im lost.
I grab my purse and went to the lobby, this night is turning into a disaster. Hindi ako masukista kaya aalis na lang ako.
-----------------------------
Glaiza
"Good morning Lola Betty, kamusta pakiramdam mo today?"
Im doing my daily rounds at the hospital. Lola Betty is one of my oldest patient, by oldest i mean pinakamatagal ko ng ginagamot. Isa siya sa mga unang nagtiwala sa akin ng nag-uumpisa pa lang ako. She had a life threathening stroke 5 years ago, akala ko talaga mamamatay siya but prayers and faith can move mountains. Ngayon nakakalakad na siya ng walang support, naka-admit siya because of dengue.
"Mabuti na po Doctor Ganda, lalabas na nga po mamayang gabi."
I check the vital signs and scan her test result, everything seems to be normal.
"Okay naman po lahat, ingat lang po sa sugar natin, medyo tumataas Lola. Okay po ba yun?"
"Basta ikaw Hija, ganda ng ngiti natin ngayon ah..."
Kinurot pa ako ni Lola sa tagiliran, natawa naman ang apo niya na tahimik lang nakabantay sa gilid. Ganito talaga ako sa mga patients ko, i treat them like family.
I put my stethoscope in my neck as i write my final notes on her files and hand it to the waiting nurse.
"Naalala nito yung nakwento kong totga Lola? Well, nagkita na kami ulit."
I sit down beside her. She cover her mouth and blush.
"Omg, seryoso Hija?"
Para talaga siyang teenager sa mga gestures niya, to think na malapit na siya maging member ng senior citizen.
Nagkwentuhan pa kami for another 20 minutes, kaya din late na ako matapos kasi nakikipagchikahan pa ako sa mga patients ko.
I drop myself to the comfy chair inside my office. Its 3 pm and im done with the hospital rounds, i play with my sign pen, pounding it repeatedly on my glass table.
Rhian has been in my thoughts all day, siya at ang napakaganda niyang mukha.
After namin magpang abot sa parking lot last night, naging sobrang stiff ng party. Hindi makafocus sa work si Rhian kasi nagpapakiramdaman kaming dalawa.
Yes, i got hurt knowing na may karelasyon siya but after that refreshing embrace, i knew may connection pa din kami.
Hindi mawala sa isip ko ang blonde niyang buhok, she looks so inviting. Parang ang sarap niya...oh my god.
Me and my perverted thoughts.
"Doc, may naghahanap daw po sa inyo sa lobby."
I massage my earlobe as i check my planner. No scheduled patient for today.
"My planner says im free Sanya, please book her a schedule. Thanks."
My coffee has gone cold, i open my Macbook to check some emails and updates. Naglalaro pa rin si Rhian sa utak ko, by naglalaro i mean tumatakbo siya sa isip ko at hindi yung maharot na klase ng laro, atleast maliwanag.
Biglang pumasok si Sanya na may bitbit na post it notes.
"Doc hindi na po nagpasched ang babae pero nag-iwan po siya ng message sayo. Sige po Doc."
She place the paper on top of my desk while my eyes are fix on the screen.
After a few seconds, sobrang focus ako sa ginagawa ko ng biglang nilipad ang 'post it' at bumagsak sa keyboard ng laptop. My office is airconditioned kaya hindi ko maintindihan saan nagmula ang hanging umihip sa papel. I instantly recognize the handnwriting. Dali-dali kong dinampot ang papel at patakbong lumabas ng office, muntik pa akong matapilok sa taas ng takong ko, nasa tabi ng pinto ang table ni Sanya at nagtaka ito sa biglaan kong pagtakbo papuntang elevator.
Nakikibagay ata ang universe dahil parang hinihintay ako ng elevator at wala pang kasabay. My office/clinic is in the 8th floor, kaya madali akong nakadating sa ground floor. Mirror ang walling ng elevator kaya hindi ko napigilang i-check ang sarili ko, im in a white stylish knee length dress with white heels.
Nagbukas ang elevator sa ground floor at pasimple akong tumakbo papunta sa reception.
"Good afternoon Doctor De Castro."
The receptionist greeted, i show her the 'post it' which she instantly recognize.
"The one who writes this, umalis na ba siya?"
"Yes po, matagal nga po siya tumayo dito kanina Doc. But if you hurry baka nasa parking lot pa siya ka......"
I didnt let her finish at kumaripas na ako nga takbo papuntang general parking. Hospital personnel lang ang allowed magpark sa basement kaya im sure doon ito nakahanap ng spot.
I run on the concrete walkway habang sinisipat isa-isa ang mga sasakyan, umabot nalang ako sa dulo and no sign of her. Binasa ko ulit ang papel.
'Glai,
Wanted to talk to you.
Maybe some other time kapag hindi kana busy.
Rhian'
I sit on a vacant bench while scratching my nape.
Minasahe ko ang nananakit kong litid, mahirap pa lang tumakbo ng naka heels.
Maybe its not time yet, maybe.
-----------------------------------
Rhian
"Ilang taon na ba natin ginagawa ito, yet you forget about petty things? Lady, of all people you forgot to book mine?"
Im howling at my team, in 3 days we would fly to boracay for an endorsement shot and promotional pictorial. But one of the incharge forgot to book my ticket, to think that im the boss.
"Miss Rhian the soonest po is a day after we arrived. Should i book this one?"
I shake my head, this project is my biggest so far and i want to be on top of everything.
"Miss Rhian, Miss Young has requested for...."
I signal Lady to stop. All this mishaps is too much to deal with, i sink myself in my leather chair and massage my temple, i have to send an update to my boss later and with all this mess, i cant even think straight.
"Okay, what ever Miss Young has requested its a done deal and Lady, book that ticket already. Please guys, put your best foot forward for this one. All of you, get the hell out of my office."
I slap my table with the last sentence. This past few days id been so difficult, im pissed and i cant understand why.
Four days ago, i went to Glaiza with the hope of talking to her.
We didnt get the chance to 'talk' at the launching dahil biglang nawala siya and Erika has been so clingy as ever.
After going to the hospital, i ask around kung ano ang real score with Megan and Glaiza. Its like an open secret sa team ni Megan, as one of her staff describes the relationship, its an 'open contract' since ayaw daw mag commit ni Glaiza and Megan's career is holding her back.
Safe to say na parang fuck buddy lang sila and that thought has been sending unexplainable emotion in my heart.
Naiinis ako, she use to tell me that she dont kiss girls na hindi niya girlfriend tapos ngayon....ulol.
"Miss Rhian, Big Boss wants you in his office in 5 minutes."
I slap my forehead as i signal Gabby to grab my Macbook.
Okay, i must wear my game face on. Need to shake Glaiza off my mind because all she does is sink me into deep confusion.
I walk out of my office and catwalk my way to the corridor that leads to the CEO's office, Gabby open the door for me and i take one final deep breath to finally shake Glaiza off for a little while.
"Good afternoon Bos......"
I stop on my toe's, nanlamig ang buo kong katawan sa nadatnan ko sa office ng Big Boss.
"Yes Miss Ramos, have a seat, meet my therapist Dr. De Castro."
Im dumbfounded on my spot and instanly reach for my chest, its beating so fast in a matter of seconds.
Glaiza is setting across my superior's clear glass table. She's wearing a knee length blue off shoulder dress with a sparkling earrings.
Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa and we both smile at the same time.
"We actually know each other Mr. Yeung."
Glaiza said while standing up, i tried my best to recover. I walk in for a handshake but she hug me instead, much to my delight, i mean much to my surprise.
'Found you.'
She whisper in my ear. Mas lalo humirap ang paghinga ko, i felt like loosing myself in her breath. Glaiza free us from the embrace at sabay kaming naupo. Im still in the state of shock when my Boss tap my shoulder.
"Well, say something Miss Ramos. It's the first time you're out of character."
Glaiza softly laughs and i try shaking my head to recover.
"Yes Boss, im sorry i did not expect to see her."
"It's actually good that you know each other, i called you because i owe Dr. De Castro lunch but since i have some errands to run, i want you to take her to dinner tonight. If its okay with you Doc?"
I turn to Glaiza, she's grinning and she look's so beautiful.
"Sure Mr. Yeung, no problem."
"It's set then."
Im used to being my Boss' proxy to dinner's, meeting's and other stuff but this was the most unexpected ever.
Ito talaga si destiny, maparaan.
----------------------------------
Rhian
The car was filled with lavender scent and every corner seems to be properly wiped. I keep on silently observing Glaiza from my peripheral view and im sure she's doing the same. It's been 20 minutes since we got on the road but no one's talking.
The backseat was filled with science books, 5 set of stethoscope, 7 lab gown all properly pressed and a skateboard, yes a skateboard.
I sink myself deeper on the passenger's seat, i want to talk to her but i dont know what to say.
"You can say anything Rhi."
"What?"
I did not see that coming, i know she's now a badass doctor but when did she learn to read minds.
"Para kasing gusto mo magsalita or magtanong, but something's holding you back Rhi. Just a hunch, i might be wrong."
"Well you are."
Im not suppose to act this way but i just notice Megan's bikini photo in the dashboard.
Ang landi mo talaga De Castro.
I can feel both ear turn red in irritation, i keep a blank ang cold expression in my face.
Okay, im working now and she's just a task i need to overcome for tonight.
"Rhi? Rhian! Your phone had been ringing. Okay ka lang ba?"
Glaiza tap my arms and i was taken back to reality, i fish for my phone from my not-so-organize bag, i take out everything first since i can't seem to find it.
Finally, i swipe my phone to answer.
"Hello Erika? Yes im still working."
I keep my voice low while looking at Glaiza, nagbago bigla ang expression sa mukha niya.
Erika is asking if i can sleep over her unit.
"I'll see if i can babe, im still working as ive said."
The car went to a drastic stop and i accidentally drop my phone on the floor, Glaiza went out and pound the door close. I recover the phone and the call was cut off. I slid it to my pocket and reach for the lever to open the door.
I look around trying to familiarize myself with our location, it's a park with random lover's walking hand in hand, nagkalat din ang mga street food vendor.
Glaiza is sitting on the front bumper with her eyes close. I slowly sit beside her, she look's so beautiful.
I meet a lot of pretty face in my line of work but nothing compare's to her, the strong expression of her eyebrow, those anime eye's, the perfectly formed nose and the ever inviting lips, it's been a decade but she looks just the same as before.
How does she maintain being this radiant all this time?
"Proper sleep and balance lifestyle Rhi."
"What?"
She open her eyes and and massage her shoulder, how can anyone massage their shoulder and look this cool?
"You look like your wondering how i maintain this beautiful face of mine. Again, just a hunch, i might be wrong."
She softly laugh at natawa na din ako. We both laugh out loud, pinagtinginan na kami ng mga taong dumadaan, we look like fools.
Ito na yata ang pinakamalutong na tawa ko since i can remember.
"How are you Rhi?"
Her voice turns serious, but i can see those expressive eye's glow in delight. I fix my hair to cover my blushing cheek.
"Good, kahit paano may napapatunayan na sa buhay. Ikaw? Grabe, Doctor kana pala. Galing."
"Oo nga eh, hindi din ako makapaniwala, uhm.....yung Erika? Ahm..."
"Girlfriend ko? Yes."
We need to make things clear early on. I know na malakas ang hatak namin sa isat-isa pero ayoko makasakit. I try to read her expression but all i see is her beautiful eye's looking back at me.
"Ikaw Glai, ano kayo ni Megan?"
I pass the ball to her, let's see if aamin ba siya sa 'open contract' status nila.
"Wala naman kami, she's just a bed buddy Rhi."
I smirk at the word she use, pinaganda lang na 'fuck buddy'.
"No need to explain, what ever you have with her doesnt concern me."
"But i have not moved on Rhi, i always knew something was missing at ikaw yun. It has always been you."
My heart is skipping multiple beat sa sinabi niya, is that a declaration of love?
She reach for my hand and kiss the back of it, nangingilid ang luha sa mga mata niya.
Umiwas ako ng tingin, naglalaban ang isip at puso ko.
"Glai..."
Binawi ko ang aking mga kamay, pumasok sa isip ko si Erika.
"May girlfriend ako Glai..mabait si Erika, she has been a good and understanding partner. She doesnt deserve this."
At pumatak ang luha na kanina pa gumigilid sa mata niya, doble ang sakit sa akin. My heart is breaking.
I walk back to the car and grab my stuff, i need to keep myself as far as possible.
Maybe its not time yet.
"Glai...magtaxi na lang ako, im sure we're not in the mood to eat naman eh. Im sorry, im hurting as much as you are. Im sure hindi ka tanga and you can clearly see that the feeling is mutual but unlike you...may sabit ako, just like before."
Pinara ko ang isang parating na taxi. My hands are shaking, si Glaiza nakatingin lang sa kawalan habang patuloy na pumapatak ang luha.
Papasok na ako ng taxi ng bigla niya akong hinatak at padabog na sinara ang pinto.
"I own you Rhian Ramos!"
Her voice in full authority. My body has a mind of its own as i close in for a kiss. Her lips sends me to a different kind of nostalgia, its intoxicating at the same time sinful.
I hug her lower back as she wrap me around her arms. We both know this is wrong but we dont care.
I allow myself to drown in her lips, the waiting taxi took off in irritation.
Her tongue travel down my mouth, its exploring every corner of my own tongue.
I had countless intimacy with Erika but never have i felt this kind of rush, this kind of wanting, this kind of total surrender.
I want to rift her out of that pretty little dress of hers, i want to own her at the same time i want her to own me.
She deepen the kiss which turns into a torrid make out session. We are literally pressing our body against each other.
I distance myself to buy us time in catching our breath.
"Lets get out of here...."
I said in almost a moan.
"I like the way you think."
She replied as we run our way inside the car. Glaiza step on the gas and i brace myself for whats coming.