Monday.
Another start of the week. I spent my weekend thinking of what happened. I had to face whatever was waiting for me. I also thought whether to say sorry for Daniel or not. I was in this damn stage again. Liam reminded me I should not always take the blame for myself. It was not my fault. It was not Marvin's fault that he simply wanted to protect me. I fixed my hair in a quick bun and headed downstairs.
"Darling, aren't you going to eat?" Mom checked on me from her iPad.
I went to the dining table and got a slice of bread, not bothering to sit.
She disregarded her iPad on the table and fully gives me her all of her attention, "Something bothering you since your dance, everything fine?" And that was the thing, I was not sure to hate or to be thankful, when they knew me all too well if there was something wrong, without even saying it.
I shook my head and smiled. "Nothing. Just homework."
She looked at me thoroughly but dismissed, "Okay, your Dad left early..." She was sitting alone in the long table for six people with breakfast ready for two. I knew it was asking me to join her for breakfast. I was not that stubborn, so I cancelled my schedule of avoiding my parents and sat across hers—my seat—and drank my milk.
"How was the event?" she asked, still studying me.
"Fine," I said and forked a bacon from the serving plate.
"What do you mean 'Fine'?"
I did not want to look at her eyes because of the lie I was about to say, "I had fun."
"Ohhhh," she took a bite of her bread. "How was Dan? He was so handsome."
I almost choked, but managed it discreetly. "Yeah, he was."
She glanced up at me again. "I know there is something wrong, Miss Ella Grace Gomez." Oh, she never used my full name, I never did too, only occasionally.
I placed my utensils down my plate and sighed. "Daniel did something and... And I think I won't be able to forgive him."
She paused, considering my confession. Should I tell her that he had tried to kiss me? "Ella, I am not great in advising what to do, but I tell you this based on my experiences and also because I am your mother and I love you: So forgive."
I shook my head. "It's not that easy, Mom. I don't know if I can."
"Honey, to forgive someone is actually to free yourself also from a burden that keeps you from being happy. Remember that." She reached for my hand on the table and caressed my knuckles with her thumb. "You'll get over things, Ella. It takes courage, but you're brave enough to forgive."
I stood and hugged her, "Thanks, Mom," I whispered, even though I still could not think of forgiving Dan.
"You might need time, a day, weeks or months, but you have to start forgiving bit by bit." She rubbed my forearm on her neck, "It's getting late, I'll drive you to school."
I got my things and waited for mom to get her things upstairs in their room. She drove to my school. Traffic was getting heavy and I was almost late. "After your seventeenth birthday next month, we will enroll you in driving school."
I beamed at her, "Really?"
She smiled. "Yes, your dad knows a great one."
"But what about my car?" I pouted, acting like a child in front of my mother.
She laughed. "Oh, no, you don't, young lady. Not yet. You can't drive alone until eighteen."
"But..." I complained. Learning to drive is enough for now. Ha ha!
When we reached school, I hugged her again and kissed her cheeks, "Bye, Mom. See you later."
She handed me my weekly allowance, "Remember what I told you."
"I will. I love you, take care."
~
I was just about to enter my first class when the assistant guidance counselor me. I got nervous about what it was about. As I sat there on the soft leather office chair for visitors, I was really nervous of what to tell them. I knew it had something to do with Daniel, I couldn't bring Marvin up.
"Goodmorning, Miss Gomez," the school guidance counselor entered her office. She has shoulder length brown hair and glasses. She sat on her chair in front of me, it seemed quite big for her size. How the hell was I thinking about those things while I was there sitting planning to lie about what my boyfriend did. "I have to apologize that we need to excuse you for your first class. You see, you're the date of Mister Daniel last saturday, you're expected to be with him most of the time then."
"Yes but I actually went home earlier, my Dad... he fetched me early." I trailed off because I noticed I had been a bit defensive for my part.
But she didn't seem to notice -- or did she? Psychology is a bit tricky. "I see, wait a sec, let me just get some papers." She leaned down to check the drawers.
I blinked and saw Marvin sitting on the other leather seat in front of the desk. He took it as an opportunity to talk to me. "Ella, there's nothing to be nervous of. You didn't do anything bad. It's not your fault, it's mine."
He somehow managed to erase some of my nerves. But I was still thinking how to say it? Should I lie about it and point someone else to blame?
"No, that's not you Ella! All you have to do is to calm down and say what you want to say." He warmly smiled, clearing most of the remaining nerves.
"Here, got it!" She sat straight again and took a folder. "Now, tell me what you remembered on the dance?"
Okay, so I'll just say the truth.
The session took most of my first period time, luckily not affecting the second class. I was quite aware psychology is tricky that's why it left me no choice but to tell her the truth: That I didn't know what happened and how it happened. At least I didn't know then. Even Marvin didn't know how it happened, it was a mystery even to us.
I was ready to face whatever would come next but I went to the restroom first before my lunch. I washed my hands and wetted my face.
"Everything will be fine, Ella. Don't worry too much." Marvin rubbed my back, comforting me. "Don't be anxious of what will happen for it will be anxious for itself."
"A bible verse is what I truly need right now. I knew it, you always know what I need." I smiled.
I got out and went directly to the canteen. Some people were whispering stuff all around me. They might think I knew something about what happened to Daniel. "Ella," Aly called me on their table.
"Hey," I said. "What's up?"
"Wanna sit with us?" she offered. I looked for Liam but he was nowhere to be found. He talked to me this morning, he had said what Marvin just said to me, I should not overthink this and both of them would make sure no one would not hurt me again.
It was just Dan's mistake, he didn't mean it. I whispered to myself wishing it might help me forgive him easier.
"Sure," I said and sat beside Beth across a guy I hardly recognize. He had shaggy black hair, long pointy nose, and almost good-looking if it isn't for his large brown eyes. But overall, he was attractive. I wondered what he was doing here.
Nica dramatically made an entrance by falling beside the guy and fanning herself. Her Senior friends were beside her, laughing. "It's so hot. I want to get out of here." She acted sick with her hands on her forehead then she saw me. "Aaron, this is Ella Gomez, my friend. Ella, this is Aaron, my real-life Prince." They gazed at each other. I remembered the couple from the dance, I wondered if they had a great time.
"Nice to meet you, Aaron." We shook hands. "I don't often see you around here."
Nica smiled and answered for her new boyfriend. "That's because he just transferred here a month ago, right prince?"
"Yes, yes, my princess." He gave Nica a quick kiss.
"Gross, get a room you two or else I'll tell Dad what you're doing." Aly rolled her eyes.
Nica simply smiled and straightened up. "Baby sister, I know you won't do that," she was pretty confident Aly won't really do it but she grabbed Aaron's arm and she blew us a kiss before getting out of the canteen.
I looked at Aly and Beth beside me; they shrugged and mouth at the same time, "Always."
Aly's face went serious, "What happened with you and Daniel?"
I acted to arrange my tray by slicing the fish I had for lunch. "What about?"
"Ella, you were his partner. You were to be with him on the last dance, then you vanished, he went from the garden with an inexplicable bruise beside his eyes, what happened?"
I acted normally, I hoped it seemed. "What did he say?"
"It doesn't matter what he said, what matters is what others think!"
"What did they say?" They got my full attention now.
Aly looked at Beth. Beth sighed, feeling defeated that she was the one who had to say the news to me. "They think it was you. Others think Dan is going crazy because he kept on saying that an invisible person punched him."
"And?"
"Of course the faculty, event managers, and most students, even us, thinks it was just dark and he probably didn't saw it coming."
"The question is who really was it?" Aly added.
"Before that? What he said he did?" I could not keep my curiosity.
"He said he was with you and... he passed out before finishing the story and all the remaining students were dismissed."
"Passed out?!" I never thought Marvin's punch was that strong.
"They noticed he was drunk. They smelled alcohol and found several cans of beers in his bag as well as in his friends'." Aly explained, removing my shock—and concern, so the alcohol in him might be the force he needed to try and kiss me. "You really don't know what happened?"
I shook my head and continued eating. They abruptly changed the topic and Aly started babbling about how annoying her sister was. I prevented myself to look at them and simply focused on chewing my lunch. I had not seen Daniel since what happened. I also did not have the guts and time to look for him.
All of a sudden they stopped talking and before I looked up, I heard Liam saying my name.
"Liam," I said and glanced at Beth, who I forgot, he abandoned before. She was simply eating like what I did earlier, avoiding everyone else, acting normal. Maybe she already talked to Nica and Aly about it because they knew.
"Hey, Liam!" Aly called to enlighten the mood of the table.
I stood. "Excuse me," I said to the girls. I took my tray and went to Liam. "What's up?"
He took my tray and putted it on the dirty box. "I just wanna know you're fine." He led me out the canteen into the school garden beside it.
"I am fine," I said. Which was true. "Though I haven't talked to Daniel yet."
He stopped walking and faced me, "Why the hell do you need to talk to him?"
I was studying his reaction, anger? fierce? "I was not sure. I was expecting him to..."
"I won't even let him go near you again, Ella."
"Liam, I think it was just a mistake. They said they found him drunk that night. Don't drunk people not know what they were doing?"
He shook his head. I knew he was only doing this to protect me. I was not sure why I was defending Daniel in such ways. "When one person was drunk, yes, they aren't one hundred percent aware of what they are doing, but it is what they want to do. Hidden desires, things that they've kept inside. The alcohol only gives them," he corrected himself, "Takes away their will not to do it." He sighed. "I was called to the Guidance Office earlier. They thought I'm one of the suspects of what happened to Daniel. There are bunch of other upper years too."
I was shocked to hear this. I never thought they would investigate about this. "Then what happened?"
He shrugged. "I told them I was with my date and showed them the video Beth uploaded online in her blog."
"I was also called this morning. I told them what I remembered." I said and took his forearm. "Well, at least I want to talk to him properly. Once I did, I won't have the reason to talk to him again."
He removed his gaze on me. "Do you still have feelings for him?"
"No! Never. I never had." I threw his arms. "But sorry for bringing you into this mess."
"So you know what happened?" His emotion softened. "He was the boyfriend you're talking about."
"No, Liam. He isn't." Marvin. Should I tell him? "Liam... you don't know my boyfriend. I just..."
"Just what, Ella?" He sat on one of the marble bench. It was full of green leaves, medium-sized trees, and rows of identical benches all around us. I sat beside him. Marvin, help me. "Just talk to me when you feel like I'm your best friend." He tried to stand but I pulled him down.
"You'll think I am crazy." I waved my hand to dismiss the topic. There were students around, talking and chattering. Luckily, we had our own bench, no one seemed to mind us.
"We fight a lot, you know that already. We have misunderstandings, and quarrels but I always try my best to understand you because you're important to me." He held my hands and squeezed it.
I sighed. "You know the novel I was telling you? The one I am writing?" He nodded, I continued, "Marvin is one of my main characters. He is my boyfriend..." I waited for him to laugh at me but he did not. I told him about the morning I had woken up and found Marvin beside me. "Tell me if you don't believe me. It's fine."
Liam stared at me for a while, then he smiled a little, "No. I believe you."
I took a breath and closed my eyes. "I really love him. I don't know how all of these happened so fast, they just did. And I also don't know what to do if he'll go away." I blinked the tears forming in my eyes. I did not want to cry again. I was thinking of what he'd said to me before that I should spend more time here in reality; I thought he would say it again. Instead, he wiped the escaped tear on my face and whispered, "I understand you."
"You do?" I asked him, of course he did. He was Liam, always.
He nodded, "That's how I felt about you, Ella."
I was afraid to where that conversation would lead. How to let him understand more that I was not the one for him? Yes, I loved him but as a friend. As a bestfriend, my brother, more than any guy I knew except for Dad and Michael.
The bell rang, and thankfully, I did not have to think of what to tell him next. We walked up our class and talked about Beth. "What exactly did you say to her that night?"
"She's the one who told me to look for you." We watched Beth on the other end of the room writing something on her notebook. She was a nice person and I hated that I was the reason she was probably hurt. "When we saw Daniel during the last dance, my heart stopped. She must have noticed it."
"Liam, don't you feel attracted to her?" For a rare time, I was shy to ask him a question.
"I do, she knows me well, I didn't even realize before." He looked at me. "I rarely know someone who values me so much despite you and my mother." He shrugged and tried to hide the pain, although knowing him for so long, he was probably thinking about his father. He left them right before they moved in the house next to mine. The pain deep within his eyes was replaced by curiosity. "By the way, do you know who punched him? Is it Marvin?"
Bringing back to the topic, I might tell him the truth. "Yes, only I can see and feel him. We don't know how he did it."
"So that's the reason they can't figure who did that to him. Well, now there's another one to protect you." He was smiling now. "Is he here now?"
I looked for Marvin and he appeared beside him. "Tell him I'm sorry he had to go to the Guidance Office for my fault."
After I told Liam that, he stretched his neck to look for Marvin, but of course, he saw none; only a classroom without a teacher. "Just say hi from me too and nothing to worry, he was proven to be drunk, they'd think he just punched himself."
Marvin grinned. Oh, I just love it when he does that. "He heard you, Liam."
"Make sure he won't hurt you, Ella, not just because he I can't see or feel him means I can't beat him if he hurts you!" He holds a fist, but smiling.
~
I opened my locker and found a note.
Sorry.
I immediately knew where it came from. Where was he? His classmates said he was absent.
"What's that?" Marvin peeked. I showed him.
"I think it is from Daniel." I whispered to him.
"He better not do it again if he doesn't like another punch."
"Marvin!" I scolded him.
He grinned. "I'm just kidding, but seriously, next time he tried something stupid on you again, he will regret it."
Liam returned from the restroom. "So I guess I'm totally free about that case. Their number one suspect is the guy from his team. But he'll be free too because he told me he was in a training that night."
I pulled Marvin's hand as we walk through the long corridor on the way out of the school. Liam asked about Marvin and I showed him how I could hold Marvin's hand. He seemed fascinated about it.
~
A few minutes after Liam left us at home, a knock came on my bedroom door.
"Ella?" Neri called.
"Yes?" I asked and she opened the door.
"Someone's looking for you outside."
Someone? I glanced at the clock: it was almost evening. I changed my silk night dress to a decent t-shirt and combed my hair.
"Where is she?" I asked after I got down the stairs.
"He is outside." Neri smiled warmly and went to Michael who was playing in the living room. He.
Maybe Liam? But she knew Liam. Oh, no. I thought. Please not him.
I opened the door and saw a familiar black car outside.
The driver's door opened and Daniel stepped out, he was driving this time. Wasn't that underage driving? Or I did not even know his age. Ugh, Ella, be mindful of whom your date will be next time... "Ella, I am so sorry." He tried to reach for my hand, but I took it away. "I didn't mean it, I was... drunk."
I nodded and felt my heart pound.
"We can start again, Ella, please give me another chance. Just friends, as you've said," he insisted.
I was waiting for the time to talk to him all day, now that it was here, why did I feel this way? So speechless. Where was my mentally rehearsed lines? I saw Marvin beside him. I shook my head to cool him down and to say everything was under my control. "Give me time, Daniel, please. I forgive you already, if that's what you want."
"No, Ella, not just that. Please another chance. I will prove I deserve it." He reached for me again.
"Will you just please leave her alone." Liam walked towards us.
"Liam, I am fine." I approached him and pulled his arm. "I assure you." I did not want him near Daniel because I was afraid of what they might do to each other.
"Yes, Liam, you aren't supposed to be intruding. We're the ones talking." Daniel moved closer to us, but I stepped back, pulling Liam with me but he was stronger.
"Please go home now, Daniel," I begged. Liam struggled from my grip, I let him go.
He stared at me and for a moment. No one spoke. "Go to hell, Daniel," Liam shouted a few more curses I couldn't believe he'd say to someone.
The next things went fast I hardly kept in track. Daniel hit Liam. They managed to gain balance. Liam wiped his face using his knuckles and whispered something to me before giving Daniel a hard blow. "Sorry, Ella." For a moment I watched them. I wanted it to stop, but I knew my force would not be strong enough for the both of them.
I heard cursing and swearing. "You're the one who punched me aren't you?" I heard Daniel shouted at him as they wrestled on the ground. They were now on the hard cement in the middle of the sidewalk.
"Yes, and now, I will give you some more," Liam replied.
I begged them to stop but they won't listen. Tears filled my eyes again.
"Stop!" Dad grabbed Daniel's arms from the back. Just in time, the village security came. I went to Liam who had bruises on his face and blood on his lips. Daniel had the same damage.
"What the hell are you guys doing?!" Dad shouted.
"Are you fine?" I asked Liam and felt stupid. "Gah, I know it was a stupid question but why the whatever you did that?"
"He started it!" Liam said to the security.
"We can manage this, thank you." Dad let go of Dan and talked to the security to dismiss them. "Ella, bring Liam inside and ask for Neri's help for the meds." We went inside the house while Dad was taking care of Daniel and his Raven car.
"Sorry, Ella, for breaking my promise. In fact it wasn't a promise because I said I would just try to be patient with him," he said after we asked helped from Neri. Thankfully, Michael was asleep. Neri went back and cleaned Liam's wound. I tried to peek through the curtains whatever was happening with Dad and Daniel outside but nothing could be heard or seen.
I glanced at Liam's now bandaged wounds, three on the arms and two in the face, and sighed. "You shouldn't have to." I hated myself for bringing this in much greater mess.
"I don't want him to hurt you again," he said. I hugged him and he flinched. "Sorry," I immediately said and he laughed.
Dad went in, he wiped the sweat on his forehead and placed the car key on the key holder beside the door. "Ella. Liam. You have a lot of explaining to do." I knew this point would come that they would know about that accident that night. So I told him all about it from the beginning, Liam supplied for me at some points I missed. We did not include Marvin in the story but I did not lie as much as possible. "So he was drunk and tried to kiss you then someone punched him?"
We nodded. "And they thought he simply punched himself because of drunkenness or another accident he could not remember." This was not a lie, that was what the whole school thought now.
Dad sighed and hugged me. "I'm still glad nothing happened to you." He patted Liam and asked if he wanted to stay for dinner but he refused. "Don't worry, Liam. We will help you explain to your mother." Dad gave us an assuring smile that meant everything would go back to normal and went upstairs.
I sneered at his wounds. "Now what do you say? Liam, the good boy, was on a fight." I caressed his undamaged jaw.
He smirked, the bandage above the lips moved a little. "My mom will definitely kill me."
I smiled not because of the thought of her mom killing him but because I felt that the old Liam was back. "I believe your mom won't do that."
He laughed, "We'll see about that."
~
I was sitting on the laboratory stool in Chemistry class. I passed by Liam's this morning to check him out. He wouldn't go to school until his wounds were all dry, as what his mother said. I also gave apology to Carol, his mother.
"Daniel told me what happened." Quen said, ofcourse, he was one of his bestfriends. "He came to school with more bruises, Liam had great hits."
I ignored him, but that was impossible because he was noticeable and ignoring him might fail us both in this subject. "Is he fine?"
He shrugged. "I shouldn't be the one to answer that." Our teacher explained something I already knew. I frowned and looked at me, "He said you forgave him, but he doubts it."
I furrowed my brows, "I did." Last night, there were several missed calls from Daniel. I did not want to talk to him, yet.
"Not for granted? You're the one who told me girls don't do things for granted." He raised a brow.
"I didn't forgive him just to say I did," I recalled what Mom told me. "I forgave him because I wanted and I needed to free myself from such burden. I just can't decide if Liam and —" and Marvin... "and my Dad forgave him already."
He seemed stunned as I was in what I said. I faced infront and acted listening. Although my mind still flowed in mid-air. Marvin held my hand, smiling, and I smiled back.
After the class, I went out the lab and walked to my locker room. I noticed Daniel was walking beside me. I was about to scream or shout but his face made my jaw drop. He had bandage almost all over his face, hiding his handsome face. "Daniel..."
"Ella, please give me five minutes to give you a proper apology." He took a breath, I could see it was hard for him to even talk. "Yesterday was the second time I brought something bad to you, but I promise won't give you any third or fourth."
I stared at him. He closed his eyes, "I love you, Ella, but I now proved to myself I am no good to you. Sorry for all the wrong things I did to you and your friend." I was about to reply something but he walked away.
~
The next day, I found another paper in my locker.
Ella
Please forgive me. I understand you still can't, but I am hoping someday. I promise to keep distance and not ruin your life once more. I still love you, maybe it is better to let you go this time.
D.