John tried to push the thought of Darlene from his mind as he made his way to Marsha's Diner, or more pertinently, his way to his rendezvous with Rosalind. However he remembered her face, marred with a frown as he told her he was grabbing a quick beer with some workmates, and it troubled him. He pulled into the parking lot and spotted Rosalind's car near the diner's entrance. He was briefly tempted to turn back, the meeting was futile, but he had to draw a line in the sand if he was ever going to move on.
He stepped out of his car and strode purposely into the diner, not looking for Rosalind. She could find him. Only a few seconds passed before he felt her tugging on his arm, dragging him into a booth away from prying eyes.
"What do you want John?" she asked, her voice strained.
"I wanted to order something to eat."
She scowled at him. "Don't you dare get sarky with me."
He sat back in his seat, regarding her. She was as beautiful as ever, perfectly made up, but her face was twisted, anxiety written all over it. "Relax, I just wanna talk," he said, attempting to reassure her.
"Why?" she demanded. "Why now?"
"We never had a proper breakup conversation, we never had a conversation at all."
She mouth dropped open. "Go back to twelfth grade when I dumped you, that conversation ought to cover it."
Louis was right, she always was a bitch. He sat back in this chair, slowly stretching out. "I think this time, I dumped you," he said with a wry smile.
She gawped at him. "You dumped me? You think you dumped me." She laughed, a high pitched tinkly tone, that was far from genuine. "I thought your wife found out about us, and you skulked off home like a good little schoolboy."
He looked at her, seeing the scorn on her face. "Yeah, I was a good little schoolboy putting my wife and family first."
She had the decency to look ashamed. "I didn't mean it like that. Look we both betrayed out partners, we're both guilty."
"It's not quite the same," he said shaking his head. "I have a family so what I did was worse. If you and Dale break up no one else gets hurt. It's no big deal."
"No big deal?" She gave a mock laugh. "No big deal to betray my husband with someone who is so much lesser than him. I couldn't have hurt him any more if I'd tried. You're deluded, John."
"Deluded? No, you are. I have a family with Darlene, what I did was way worse." He couldn't help the laugh that escaped. "Jeez Ros, I'm giving you the get out, I'm taking most of the blame, and it's still not good enough for you."
She met his eyes, her face furious. "No, it's not good enough! You told Darlene you were having an affair out of some misplaced sense of loyalty. You should have spared her feelings and lied." She took a deep breath. "Okay, that was your decision but you didn't have to bring me into it. You ruined my life."
"You ruined your life," he fired back.
"Bullshit, we had a deal. It was just a bit of fun, Darlene and Dale were never supposed to find out." She took a couple of deep breaths but he could see she was shaking. "You put a bomb under both of our marriages. If you wanted to confess to Darlene, you should have left me out of it. That wasn't fair John."
He paused, gathering his thoughts. "She already knew Ros," he said softening his voice. "She knew I was having an affair and she'd pieced it together. Darlene isn't the dumb bitch you think she is."
"I've never said she was," Rosalind said pulling a face. "But you should have covered for me, not throw me to the wolves. I bet you knew Darlene would blame me and let you off the hook."
"She'd worked it out for herself," he insisted. "You weren't exactly discreet."
She paused, frowning at him. "What do you mean?"
He let out a heavy breath. "Come on, you were round our house most evenings in time for me finishing work. While Darlene was settling Junior down we were holed up in the living room alone together, you must have spent all of ten minutes with her."
Rosalind's face was expressionless, but she didn't deny it. "Okay, maybe I wasn't as careful as I thought, but I was lonely. You knew I was vulnerable and you took advantage."
"Is that what you're telling yourself," he snapped, his temper rising. "You think you're the victim? I've always had a soft spot for you and you played on it. I would never have made a move without your encouragement."
She looked down, her fingers clenched together on the table. "But it wasn't supposed to work out this way! No one was meant to get hurt."
"But they did."
"Because of you," she said not letting up. "You hurt Darlene and you hurt Dale." She took a deep breath meeting his eyes again. "Now what do you want from me?"
He shrugged half-heartedly. "I wanted to clear the air, I thought I needed to."
"Why?"
"Cos maybe I still love you."
She spluttered, "Don't be absurd. I was a distraction for you, and you helped me pass the time when I was bored. Love didn't come into it for either of us."
He raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure about that?"
"Completely."
"So you risked your marriage for a bit of fun?"
"I didn't think I was risking it," she said, her voice rising an octave. "I knew you'd had affairs before, I knew you wouldn't leave Darlene, I didn't think either of us was risking anything."
"So all this pain we caused was for nothing." He couldn't believe how cold she was. He hadn't expected them to run away together but surely they'd had something, however temporary and fleeting it might have been?
"The only reason anyone was, or is, in pain is because of you shooting your mouth off," she snarled. "It's all your fault."
"Yep, it's all my fault, it's my responsibility for hurting both Darlene and your husband," he said glibly. "I guess I needed to hear you say that."
She frowned at him. "Are you taunting me?"
"Now why would you think that," he asked cocking his head to one side. "You've made it crystal clear that it's all my fault. I guess I was wrong to think you came onto me while Darlene was out of the room making dinner, I was mistaken about that time you kissed me."
"For god's sake just drop it," she said her cheeks flaming. "We were both in the wrong, but you're to blame for hurting Dale and Darlene cos you didn't keep your mouth shut."
"Okay."
"You tried to ruin my life."
"That's not true," he said, wanting to draw the argument to a close. "I wanted to fix things with Darlene, she's my priority. I didn't think about the impact it would have on your marriage, it didn't occur to me that she would tell Dale. I didn't think."
She sat back scowling. "So that's it? That's your idea of an apology?"
He shrugged. "It's all you're gonna get Ros, you'll have to sort your own shit out."
"After everything you did?" Her eyes widened. "You pursued me, John, I'd never have had an affair under any other circumstance."
He shook his head. "You can say that but I've been there, and there's always a circumstance if you're looking to be unfaithful."
"But I wasn't," she said shaking her head. "The thought hadn't crossed my mind until you came onto me."
"I think it was the other way around."
"I was flirting," she said, slamming her hand down on the table. "You weren't supposed to take it seriously."
He contemplated her for a moment. "Okay, so it was a joke. I got it wrong. Why did you respond when I had it all wrong?"
"Oh screw you, why don't you toddle off back to your wife and pretend to be the perfect husband," she snapped. "You just got me here to put the blame all on me."
"No, I wanted some kind of closure so I could get on with my life."
"For fuck's sake, do you think we're back at high school?" she asked her face contorting.
"When it comes to you, I guess I am." He gave her a hard look, never had this beautiful woman appeared more ugly to him. "That's what the whole affair was all about, reliving our youth."
"If you say so," she said feigning disinterest.
"Yeah, I do." He stood up, giving her a dismissive look. "Take care of yourself, Rosalind, someone has to." He walked out of the diner, ignoring her yelled insults, she was nothing to him and he was nothing to her. He never had been.
~~~
Thank you for reading, please consider voting.