Wednesday afternoon, Gabriella decided we should have lunch together, all of us since it was the one day she was excused from work. Her boss just had a baby.
So at twelve, she called Dani and I, asking us to meet at her downtown in an hour.
Now, I watch Gabrielle feed Mason with a plastic spoon, a smile on her face when she sees he isn't making a mess.
The waiter had just gushed over what an adorable child he was, which resulted in his smug smile.
"Where's my brother?" Dani asks.
"He's busy." She replies. "Had a couple of files to go over or something." Her eyes turn towards the window, and I can see why. The view is amazing this morning - with light snow falling over bare tree branches.
Surprisingly, I see a few birds too. Which is rare in winter.
It's a beautiful morning.
So why do I feel so hollow inside?
Is it because I've finally made my decision, or because I'm about to tell them?
I glance at Dani, whose sitting besides me, texting Raze on his phone. He's dressed in a warm sweatshirt and dark jeans, yet he still manages to make that look good.
I'm just about to open my mouth to tell them, but Mason makes a noise instead.
"Mommy, can I have ice-cream?" he asks.
"No, honey, it's already cold as it is."
Mason pouts and turns to me. His eyes land on my uneaten piece of chocolate cake.
He doesn't even need to ask, and it's not like I'm hungry.
I pick him up and place him on my lap after I smooth the wrinkles on my skirt for the tenth time. It was cold even with the restaurant's heating on - and thank God I had worn my thickest pair of tights.
He takes my fork and cuts himself a larger piece of cake than he can swallow.
My eyes shift to Dani. When he notices, he smiles softly. There were no negative feeling after that night - he had even offered to make me a cup of coffee - but I still felt horrible.
I had sprung up something I shouldn't have. It's another thing he didn't react as badly, but that didn't make me feel any better.
One of the reasons I decided what I should have a long time ago.
Because it was time I stopped kidding myself. Sure, he was alive and healthy, but he didn't have his memories.
I guess the alive and healthy part is more than I would have asked for, and I should be grateful.
"Guys," A hint of a sad smile is splayed on Gabriella's face. "I'm going back."
"Huh?" I frown. "California? For Christmas?"
That was just three days away.
"No." She shakes her head, pushing her plate of half-eaten gnocchi away.
"My parents moved to Ithaca this summer. I guess that's where I'll meet them."
"Ithaca?" I ask. "Ithaca, New York?"
"Why are you so surprised?" Asks Dani, turning to me
"I'm not... but you do realise Ithaca is close to Montrose right?"
"Sorry." He chuckles. "They didn't teach us that in school. Is Montrose where your family lives?"
"Yeah." I answer. "Gabriella, why are you going?"
We all knew she didn't get along with her parents. Not since she started dating Nate.
Wait is this the reason she's been so distracted lately?
"It's time I make things right with them." she replies determinately. "And it's time Mason meets his grandparents."
Mason, who had been innocently licking the frosting off his spoon, looks up. "But daddy and I had special plans for Christmas."
"Is Nate coming?" Asks Dani.
Her shoulders slump. Now that I really look at her, I discover she's paler, more worn-out than she usually is.
"That's his choice." She says. "I don't think he will though."
"Well." I say, raising my voice a little. "If you want someone to travel with you..."
Everybody's eyes snap to me. "You're thinking of travelling to New York too?" Dani asks.
The atmospher shifts completely.
"Not only thinking." I squeak.
Claire and Eli's phonecalls and texts had finally persuaded me.
Everyone's quiet before Dani speaks up. His voice is cold, although I can't fathom why. Shouldn't he be glad?
"You won't get a flight before Christmas."
"That's why I'm leaving after." I say. "I'll probably spend the rest of the holidays there, and..."
"And?" Gabriella leans forward. She recognises the dejected look on my face.
"Please tell me you're not thinking of completing your semester in Montrose." Her voice is quiet, like she's expecting the worst.
"They have a great business program." I say. "And my dad's hotels are--"
"No." Gabriella is shaking her head. "You're a part of our family, Valencia." She says. "How can you even--"
"I came here for only one purpose."
I'm tired of people cutting me off. I have a right to say or do what I want to, and I'm tired of being an emotional wreck.
"And since that purpose is complete, it's time I head back."
Gabriella lets out a long breath. All around us, people are talking and laughing, but the only noise from our table comes in the form of Mason's clanking spoon.
When I look at Dani, his expression is emotionless.
"You're saying you won't miss us?" Asks Gabriella.
"Seriously?" I chuckle nervously. "Your parents live in Ithaca now, you can come visit whenever. And me moving there permanently is just a possibility."
Dani sits up a little straighter."So not moving there is also a possibility?"
"I guess." I say. "But I have to, eventually."
Soon, the waiter comes to pick up our plates.
"Anything else?" He asks Gabriella.
"Just the bill, please."
Back home, I'm sprawled on the couch with my laptop, browsing airline websites for tickets.
Frankly, it's nice using WiFi for other reasons than research reports.
It's not easy, though. All the seats are booked and the few remaining cost ginormous amounts of money.
Gabriella calls me, saying it's not possible for her to get seats before Christmas too. She asks me to tell her the date of when I'll be going, or book seats for her too - and promises to pay me back.
"How could you not tell me?" Dani emerges from his bedroom, and he's seething with anger.
"Why would you care?" I take a bite of the apple I grabbed from the kitchen earlier and wipe my sticky hands on the back of my skirt so I don't ruin the laptop. "Shouldn't you be happy? You've been complaining of my presence ever since you woke up."
He crosses his arms. "Not true."
I place the laptop on the coffee table and get up. "Look, I'm tired of being optimistic, okay? Two years, Dani. That's how long I waited. And it's not like you magically have feelings for me now."
"What if I do?"
"Please." I roll my eyes. "One hazy memory doesn't mean anything."
"It should." He says, coming over and grabbing my arm. "And you're right, I don't feel anything for you. But you helped me when I needed it, and I'm grateful."
Although his words are true, I can't help feel a sting in my chest. I don't feel anything for you.
This is exactly why I need to leave.
"What if I get my memory back?!" He asks.
"Then you'll know exactly where to find me." My mouth curves into a small smile.
When he's gone, I take out my phone and call the first person that comes to mind.
"Adam Morgan's office." Says a voice. "The lord of unfathomable greatness speaking."
I'm not entirely sure he knows the meaning of unfathomable.
"Cayden." I say sternly. "Where's dad?"
"On a lunch break with Evie. Oh wait, here he comes. How are you doing, VALENCIA." He says my name loudly, as if to alert dad of my call.
There's murmuring over the other end, and I finally hear dad's comforting voice over the speaker.
"Hey, honey." He says. "How are you?"
"I'm great dad. Listen, do you still have those online points we always got when we travelled to Florida to meet your parents?"
"Yes. They're quite a lot now." He says proudly.
"Think you could use them to arrange a few seats?"
His voice is ecstatic as he says his next words. "You're visiting New York for Christmas?!"
"Technically, after."
He says he would, and then ends the call to go tell his wife and my brother that I'm visiting soon.
Yeah, I'm glad one person is happy.
Sighing, I put my phone on the table and turn around to see Dani's bedroom door shut.
I knock twice, and he finally answers with a, "Come in!"
I open the door to see he's talking to someone on the phone too.
He switches off the call and turns to me. He's smirking.
"That was 'ma." He says.
"Yeah? What did she say?'
He bites his lip and pats the empty space on his bed besides me.
Huh?
Nervously, I come and sit besides him.
"She's got a deal with your father and the gallery." He says.
"Wow, that's great!" I can't help smiling myself. Amelia definitely deserved it.
"She's staying there till February. Oh, and she needs some of her paintings, and they're heavy, I mean, one person couldn't possibly carry that much luggage. Which would mean more people are needed, you wouldn't believe how much they charge for extra luggage..."
"Dani." I say, cutting off his rant. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I want to come with you." He says. His gaze falls from my eyes to my lips for a second more coming back up.
"You can't." I say. "You just came out a coma and the doctors--"
"I'll speak to them."
I purse my lips. He wasn't making this any easier. "Why do you want to come, anyways?"
"Well, it's like the doc said. Maybe going there will help my memories come back."
"Are you sure you want that?"
"No, but I want to remember who I turned into." I say. "I can't forgive myself for turning on Raze like that. Maybe if I understood why I did it..."
He breathes. "Besides, I want to get to know the Dani that fell for you. Although I can see why he did."
A blush creeps onto my cheeks and I lower my gaze, fiddling nervously with the bedsheets.
"I guess we're going home then."