A/N
Hey, it's Tayah now :)
So this chapter may or may not include the tiniest, smallest bit of sexual content but I think you know the drill.
Love y'all.
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NOVEMBER 19
2 MONTHS, 20 DAYS
Tobias and I are playing another board game today. This time it's Battleship. I'm terrible at it. He's sunk three of mine and I have yet to land a hit. He's good at all these games and I'm always terrible. But for some reason I still love every minute of it.
"B-7," I say, picking up a white peg.
"Miss."
"Oh, how ever did I know? I think you're cheating."
"Am not."
I set my game board down on the hardwood and sit up on my knees and try to look over at his board, but he tips it away from me.
"Now look who's trying to cheat!"
"I swear you're moving your boats or you didn't put them on there at all. How can I have zero hits so far? That defies the laws of probability."
"I'm just good at this," he says, grinning at me with a toothy smile.
"I don't believe you."
And then I launch after him and he's so surprised he falls over, and before I know it I'm straddling him and we're wrestling with his board.
"No fair—I can't hurt you!" He's grinning and loving every minute of this, just like I am.
"So? You don't play fair anyway."
He rolls me over so fast I hardly blink before I'm pinned under him and the board is forgotten. The television is still on in the background, casting hazy blue light around us. His eyes are so intense I could get lost in them all night, but then he's kissing me and I close mine again.
Every night, we get closer to the moment.
Every night, I step closer to the edge.
And tonight I'm ready to jump. I was ready before, but nervous, and I've thought about it long enough. I don't just think I'm ready, I am ready.
He pulls a blanket over us both, on the ground, and I lose all sense of time, but somehow it's just us and the blanket, skin on skin in our warm little cocoon.
He looks straight at me, his eyes piercing mine, and I nod at him. I can't say it. Not out loud.
But he knows. He reaches a hand outside the blanket, pulls something from the nightstand, and is back with me again.
"Are you sure?" he whispers as he settles back on top of me.
And I nod again and watch his eyes darken like a storm cloud, and then I squeeze my eyes shut.
After tonight, there will be nothing left in between us. That is the way I want it.
"I love you," I say.
"I love you too," he whispers, his breath hot in my ear. For a second, when it happens, there is a burst of pain and I squeeze my knees together, even though he's between them and it won't do me any good.
He freezes. "Are you okay?"
I don't talk for a moment, the breath stolen from my lungs, but then the pain ebbs and I nod. "Yes. Just go slow," I say, my voice hoarse.
He kisses my cheek, my temple, my ear, and finally my lips, and then he eases back a little before going forward, and I tense for a moment, but it doesn't hurt anymore, and I breathe normally again.
As he picks up a rhythm, his breath quickens and so does my own, and our blanket cocoon quickly warms, until we have to pull it back.
I almost don't recognize the low, quiet growl that tears loose from the back of his throat, but I know what it means when he collapses on top of me, his breath still coming in heavy gasps.
After a few seconds in silence, he pulls back and looks at me, a sheepish blush spreading from his hairline to his lips. "I'm sorry I... I mean, that wasn't... I'm sorry that wasn't—uh—longer lasting."
And then I can't help it. I burst out laughing. I have to push him off my chest because my stomach hurts, I laugh so hard.
"That wasn't supposed to be funny," he says, even though he's chuckling now, too.
"I know, it's just, the look on your face ... "
I manage to stop laughing long enough to kiss him. "And I really ... that was perfect. I promise."
"It wasn't. But I'll get better. I promise."
"If you're lucky I might just let you prove it."