*Bella*
7:00 AM
I groaned, quickly reaching for my alarm as Justin gave me a tug back.
"What time is it?" He mumbled, nestling his face back in my neck.
"It would be seven a.m."
"What?! You're insane."
"No I'm not. I like to watch the Today show and actually wake up before I go to school. It gives me time to get ready."
"What are you going to have for breakfast?"
"I don't know, cereal."
"Wrong," He shook his head, lifting it up and ran his hand along my arm. "I'll make us breakfast. You have eggs right?"
"Yes, I do."
"French Toast it is." He kissed my cheek, sitting up and stretched, my eyes traveling down the muscles of his back.
Ugh.
I got up myself, quickly throwing my hair up in a ponytail and went into the kitchen, starting up a pot of coffee.
"Do you want some?" I asked, holding up the little glass pot.
"Sure." He smiled, kissing the tip of my nose before opening up the fridge and pulled out the eggs. "What classes do you have today?"
"Calc, Psychology, and Music Composition...Calc is kicking my ass."
"I can help you. I took it senior year. I mean...I got a B...and I could have had an A...but I didn't put in the effort because I didn't feel like it was worth my time."
"You know, the more and more you tell me about high school, the higher I think of you. Trying to pass off as a badass..."
"Do you really want to go there again with me?" He chortled, hugging my waist from behind and kissed my cheek.
"I don't believe that you had bad grades. You definitely kept them up, even if you skipped class one or two times. I could probably predict it better than you think."
"Well yeah, in the beginning I thought maybe I'd be allowed to come back home."
I frowned, filling up the pot with water and poured in the right amount to the coffee machine.
"But everything worked out, didn't it?" He asked, smiling against my temple.
"Yes, yes it did."
"Plus, I was pretty bad by night...so..."
"Trust me, I know. I learned from the best. Badass Bella."
"Do you really think your badass?"
"Are you suggesting I'm not?"
"Please," He let go of me, grabbing a bowl from the cabinet and started cracking eggs. "Sure, I got you to be a little rebellious, but there is a difference."
"So sneaking out and getting drunk and lying to my dad to be with my boyfriend isn't badass?"
"Rebellious." He corrected, looking at me as I crossed my arms. "That's not a bad thing. It was a huge turn on."
"Well that's good to know." I mumbled, measuring out the coffee grinds and put them in the filter.
"Hey, I love my Bella just how she is." He wrapped his arms around me again, resting his chin on my shoulder. "Shy at first, but very giggly, who loves her skirts and heels, and sometimes an occasional pink gloss, but she's funny, talented and determined, and I love her."
"I love you too." I sighed, biting down on my my lip and looked down.
"You still haven't kissed me good morning. I don't appreciate it."
"Oh shut up." I laughed, spinning around and cupped his cheeks, standing up on my tiptoes and pecked his lips. "That's it. I haven't brushed my teeth yet."
"I do not care. I'm not satisfied by just a peck on the lips. I want a real kiss. One with lots of lips and maybe a little more than that?" He wiggled his eyebrows, making me laugh, but I shook my head.
"I think it's a little too early to be making out, but I will give you another kiss."
"Fine." He whispered, leaning down and connected our lips, taking a step forward to press me back against the counter.
"Down boy," I giggled, shaking my head again and put my finger up to his lips.
"That's a first...but I like it."
"Shut up." I playfully pushed his face away, starting the coffee and watched as he cracked another egg "Can I help with anything?"
"Nope, I'm gonna stick some bread in egg and put it in a pan."
"Hmmm, sounds real fancy."
"It's going to be the best damn French toast you've ever had."
"I'm sure it will be...will you help me with my calc after breakfast?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Are you sure you don't need help? You could...teach me something..."
"Come here," He smirked, rolling his eyes and pulled me in front of him, grabbing a piece of bread. "Now, this might seem really complicated, but you're going to dip one side in the egg, and then you're going to flip it over and do the other side and put it in the pan."
"Are you making fun of me?" I raised an eyebrow, trying to hide the smile forming on my face.
"What? No! Not at all! I'm just having fun with this."
"Please don't let me burn it or do anything to make it inedible because I will feel awful."
"I won't. I promise."
So I followed his instructions, laughing a little at myself, and even harder when he was laughing at me when I put the bread in the pan.
"Stop laughing at me!"
"You need work. We will have cooking lessons from now on during the weekends- Friday's after school."
"Shut up!" I nudged him, earning a peck to the cheek in return.
"Right now, I will cook the family dinners. Once you have proven yourself worthy of using this pan, then maybe I can let you have a turn."
"But-But- I want to learn." I pouted, my head turned to look at him.
"Fridays after school."
"Hmmm, boyfriend as a teacher...I wonder what could go wrong..."
"Sex is prohibited."
"I'm ok with that." I shrugged, grabbing the spatula from his hand and checked the bottom of the toast. "I flip it over when it's brown, right?"
"Well yeah...but not like the whole thing if that makes sense..."
"Yeah, I know."
"Are you ok? You know I'm just teasing, right?"
"What? Yeah, I know. I wouldn't have laughed if I didn't think it was funny."
"Ok, good."
Maybe he thought I wasn't serious...
______________
"It's Friday and today I don't feel like putting effort into how I look." I mumbled, pulling Justin's sweatshirt over my head.
My hair was in a bun, I was wearing mascara and blush, but that it.
"You never need to put effort into how you look. You always look beautiful."
"You're required to say that. You're my boyfriend." I said, picking up my bag and tossed it on my shoulder.
"But that doesn't mean I don't mean it."
"I know." A sigh escaped my lips, and he stood in front of me, taking my hands from my sides.
"Are you sure you can't skip another day? You don't want to stay here with me?"
"I want to, but I can't." I smiled at him, standing up on my tiptoes and pecked his lips.
"Fine. I'll drive you to school." He teased, letting my hands go and grabbed his keys.
I got mine too, locking the door behind us, looking down at his hand that he held out and slipped mine in it.
"It's getting colder and I don't like it. I miss summer." I mumbled, pressing the button to the elevator.
"So do I...you in your little shorts and bikini's."
"Oh stop it. I think you had enough of that for a year."
"Nope, never. It's basically candy."
"You are really a dork."
"Nuh uh, you are."
"Nuh uh." I shook my head, kissing him full on. "It's ok, I love you."
"I love you too."
We walked outside of the elevator, through the lobby and outside. I was thankful I was wearing his sweatshirt, it was soft and warm- outside it was cooler.
He wore one too, and his hair was up and cute, but his pants were low- which wasn't that surprising.
He unlocked his car, opening the passenger door and helped me inside, giving me that little smirk before shutting the door.
When he got inside he started the car, turning on the radio and rested his hand on my leg before pulling away and onto the main road.
"We're going to the grocery store after school."
"I know, I know." I mumbled, feeling him give my leg a squeeze.
"You're coming home for Thanksgiving, right?"
"Yeah, I am. Why?"
"I don't know, why could take a day to go out, and maybe you could come to see my family and stuff...if you wanted..."
"Of course I want to. I love them. I really want to see your mom, and Jazzy- Jaxon- and your dad obviously. Yeah, I want to see them."
"Ok." He laughed, moving his thumb in a circle. "I'll talk to them when I go him Sunday. We can have dinner."
"That sounds nice." I laughed with him, kissing his cheek. "Speaking of November...are you going to do no shave November?"
"Who doesn't do no shave November?" He raised an eyebrow, smirking in the rear view mirror at me.
"Me."
"It's just a month. I'll shave again in December. I might even shave everything but above my lip."
"I might be able to deal with that." I shrugged, slipping my hand over his and intertwined my fingers through.
"You might have to." Justin let out a chuckle, and I rolled my eyes, looking back out the window at the city.
Eventually we made it to school, and Justin pulled up front, looking around us at everyone around.
I saw Trent, but I quickly gave Justin's hand a squeeze before he saw him and leaned in.
"Thank you for taking me to school." I said a few inches from his lips, letting my eyes flicker up to his.
"You're welcome. Should I be here about four?"
"Yeah, I'll be out. Thank you."
"Welcome. I'll see you later."
"Ok," I kissed him, cupping his cheek, his free hand sliding on my hip. "Bye."
"Bye."
I got out of the car, going to shut the door and turn to the school.
"Wait! Hey! I love you."
"I love you too."
I shut the door, quickly wakling into the school by Trent and headed off to class.
I had to stop like Jess said. I couldn't be friends with him anymore.
I was going to hurt him...but I had to do it for me.
It'd be worth it for Justin. I wouldn't hurt him.
"Hey, Isabelle!"
I pretended not to hear, disappearing into my calc class at sat down towards the middle.
I can't believe I just did that.
______________
*Justin*
3:51 PM
Ok, I know I didn't tell her...she didn't catch on...and I didn't lie, I just didn't tell her the whole truth. There's a difference.
If I told her she'd hate me. I'd lose her. That's not what I want...I'd go insane if I lost her.
We were fine now. That's how it would stay. She didn't have to know, and she wouldn't.
I pulled out a cigarette, lighting it with my window rolled down and took a drag.
I'd probably just be finishing it as Bella came out...but she didn't really seem to be mad last night...she brought them in for me.
I wasn't even smoking them like I used to, I had maybe one a day...
I looked up towards the school, smirking to see Bella walking out.
I loved her wearing my clothes.
"Hi." I grinned as she opened the door, watching her little nose crinkle. "I didn't think you would be out so soon. I'm sorry."
"It's ok...it kind of reminds me of when we were first dating."
"Yeah, it does, doesn't it?" I chuckled, tapping part of it out the window.
It reminded me a lot of that...falling in love with her...
"So," I cleared my throat, not really expecting an answer. "How was your day?"
"It was ok. Slow...what did you do?"
"I read that book you were talking about."
"The Fault In Our Stars?"
"Yeah, that one. How do you read that?"
"What do you mean how? It was amazing!"
"Amazingly heartwrenching! No wonder why you werew crying! Baby, it was good, but damn."
"I know. It killed me."
"Why don't you read a happy book?"
"I do read happy books!" She giggled, resting her head on my shoulder momentarily.
"Sure princess, sure."
"I do!"
I flicked the butt of my cigarette out the window, reaching over and slipped my hand on her leg.
"Do you want to do something tonight? Anything?" She asked, holding onto my arm.
"Sure. What do you want to do?"
"I'm not sure...we could see a movie...or go for a walk...I don't know...something."
"Hmmm, after our little cooking lesson?"
"Yeah, that sounds good." She nodded, leaning over and pecked my cheek.
I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to be so happy, and I really liked my walks with her.
"Oh! And Rachel asked me if we wanted to go out with her and Aaron tomorrow...do you want to?"
"An do what? Dinner? Movie?"
"I think dinner, if you wanted we could go to a club or something...I'd just have to do some homework in the morning."
"Hmmm...yeah I'm in. We can all go. You should see if they want to come too."
"I will. I'm really excited."
"Me too." I winked, squeezing her leg and made a left towards the outside of the city.
"We're not spending a lot at the store." She blurted, looking over at me.
"We are getting you enough to fill your pantry and fridge with real food Bella."
"But I-"
"No. No buts. I mean it. You're practically starving yourself."
"No I'm not."
I pursed my lips, keeping my eyes forward, but slowly moved my hand against her thigh.
We we're quiet the rest of the drive, and I parked the car close to the entrance, glancing at Bella while she looked out the window.
Something just isn't right...
"Come on buttercup." I patted her leg, turning the car off and hopped out, waiting for her and held out my hand, slipping my free one in the pocket of my sweatshirt.
I'd have to keep a close eye on her.
______________
*Bella*
5:38 PM
I had been quiet most of the time, watching Justin as he made a joke, laughing a little after, a small smile curling on my lips every time he rested his hand in the small of my back.
The whole time we were in there I couldn't help but think that this is how it would be when we were married. Maybe eventually we'd have a little one in a cart.
But at other times I was slightly embarrassed, hugging myself in his sweatshirt...wondering what he thought of me.
Nothing was wrong. I'm fine. I didn't mind eating what I was...I could afford it. Nothing is wrong.
"Want to make the steaks tonight?" Justin asked, reaching over and tucked a loose strand of hair that had fallen out of my bun back.
"Mhm, yeah, that's fine." I nodded, smiling at him again before he continued the drive when the light turned green.
"Bella...look...I'm...I'm sorry if I made you feel bad or anything...I'm just...really concerned."
"You didn't. It's ok. I know you care, but I'm ok. Really, I am."
He sighed, taking my hand and brought it up to his lips.
"We're going to have fun tonight. I'll teach you how to make a good steak and we can go for a walk, since it's not raining."
"Very true." I nodded quickly, looking out the window at everyone walking by.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Hey, we got those cookies. We can make them tonight too, and then if you want we can watch that movie and dunk them in milk."
"I like cookies." A giggle escaped my lips, and I wrapped a hand around his arm, watching as a fresh smile curled against his lips.
"Good. We'll make cookies, and I promise I won't eat all of the cookie dough."
"You better not...thank you."
"For what?"
"Caring so much...you know...actually I don't even know, I'm blabbing."
"Well you're welcome buttercup."
________________
*Justin*
7:04 PM
"You look so pretty." I said to Bella in the booth, hugging her waist in my arms and kissed her cheek.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." I kissed her cheek one last time before pulling away, seeing Rachel making her way over with Aaron.
"Hey!" Bella smiled, giving a wave at them as Rachel slid in the booth across from us.
"Hi." She laughed, smiling at Bella and then me. "Hi Justin."
"Hey Rachel."
"It's nice to see you again." Aaron nodded his head at me, smiling over at Bella.
One that actually didn't make me want to reach across the table and rip his head off.
"You too."
"The club isn't too far away from here. I checked before we left. I'm so excited."
"Me too. It's been a while since I've been." Bella said beside me, looking up at me so her lips were only a few inches away.
"We'll have fun. I just need food first."
"I could not agree more." Aaron chirped, smirking at me, and then down at Rachel.
"I don't have much of an appetite I'm so excited."
"Same." Bella smiled, taking a sip of her water.
"Where do you go to school Justin? Do you travel up here every weekend?" Aaron asked me as I slid my arm around Bella's waist.
"Oh, I go to UDC Community College back home, and I'm up here almost every weekend I guess. If gets hard sometimes, but I do my best."
"I know you do." Bella looked up at me, pressing her lips against my cheek.
"What are you studying?"
"Well I'm not really a full time student, I'm part time, but I put in for general studies because I've been trying to figure it out. I'm taking a couple math and science classes right now. I think I'm going to go into engineering."
"Wow, that's awesome."
"Yeah, I'm taking a lot of those classes now. I'll probably take a couple over the summer too just to try and catch up. I'm not sure yet. I'm just now registering for my second semester classes."
Eventually the girls started their own conversation while we had ours, and I only heard a few bits of it in between ordering our food.
"Wicked? Really?" Bella said to Rachel. "I've always wanted to see that. I've heard it's amazing."
"It is. One of my friends is a part of the cast. If you ever want to go let me know. I can get you tickets."
"Really?!"
"Yeah, she told me any time. I can't believe you never seen it."
"No, never."
I listened intently to that conversation, moving my thumb against her hip.
That would be a good Christmas idea for her...
She was so happy tonight. I love it...watching her smile light up the whole room like that.
"Here, do you want to try a bite?" Bella asked me, holding up a bite of her chicken.
"Yes please." I nodded, opening my mouth and let her feed it to me. "Yummy."
"I know." She laughed, leaning into me.
After I got our side of the check with a slight refusal from Bella and she tried to take it, we were walking outside, her hand slipped around my arm.
The line wasn't too bad because they had been open a few minutes, and we walked right in, the music so loud you could feel the bass through your shoes.
"I hope you have the energy to dance long into the night." I told her, pulling her through the crowd, and into me, holding her hips and felt her giggle as she hooked an arm back around my neck.
And of all the things to notice tonight...I saw how happy I was...this should be how it is. No drugs, no alcohol...just me and her.
This time last year I was hooking up with someone else, probably high with a beer in my hand...wondering what kind of job Manny would have me do in the morning...
But now I had her...I had my family back...
And if she were to know the things I had done...she'd be gone.
I couldn't lose her. I can't tell her.
I'd never forgive myself.
_____________________________
PLEASE COMMENT. The drama is about to be a freaking rollercoaster in this book, and eventually you guys will probably hate me, but it's coming, and I'm honestly really excited for it!
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