Was it natural to feel nervous to meet your boyfriend even after you had been dating for more than a week?
I shook that thought away as I impatiently waited for the door to open. When it did open I was greeted by Asher's twin brother, Ashton. He seemed to be still in slumber.
"Hey!" I sounded more excited than I wanted.
He made way for me to enter when he saw it was me.
"I think he's still sleeping," he ended with a yawn, walking towards the kitchen to fix himself some coffee.
"It's okay," I said, following him.
"Want some coffee?" he asked.
I politely declined and sat on a stool.
"Do you want me to wake him up?" he asked when he had some caffeine in his system.
"No, it's alright. I can do that," I said standing up.
I blushed when I saw him smirk.
He looked down into his cup of coffee and muttered something.
My mouth gaped open because I heard exactly what he said.
"Get your mind out of the gutter, you jackass!" I wish I had something to throw at him.
"What? It's a perfectly normal scenario," he shrugged, grinning playfully.
"You are so lucky I don't have anything to throw at you," I said.
"Don't keep him waiting, El," he sang and shooed me away.
I gave him a dirty look and walked upstairs to Asher's room.
I hesitated at his door. Should I knock?
I didn't knock. He would be asleep anyway.
My mind saw this as an amazing opportunity to get me some paybacks.
I took out my phone and earplugs as I tiptoed to the side of his bed. He was sleeping on his stomach with his head turned to the side and one arm under it. I sat on the bed, careful not to wake him. I chose the loudest song from my playlist and leaned over him to put the earplugs in his ear.
As I did that I got momentarily distracted by his long lashes fanning his cheeks and his lips that were parted just a bit.
His hair fell on his forehead and his back rose up rhythmically. I felt a strong desire to reach out and run my fingers over his cheek. To trace the slant of his jaw and to follow the curve of his lip. I realized too late that I was staring.
His other hand came behind my back and pulled me forward to his chest as he lay on his back.
"Morning sunshine," he murmured, his eyes drinking me in.
I pushed at his chest, his naked chest, to sit up but his arm tightened joined by his other arm.
"What were you doing?" he asked with a glimmer in his eyes.
"I um I uh," I stumbled over my words, not able to make any coherent thoughts with him this close.
He brushed strands of my hair that had fallen over my face and relaxed his hold on me.
"You were watching me sleep?" he said with a smirk.
My face reddened and I pushed myself up.
"Of course not! Why would I do that?" I huffed.
He again pulled me back, but this time my back was pressed to the bed and he was above me, putting all his weight on his arms.
I turned my head to the side, not wanting to see him laugh at me. He turned my chin back to him, his deep blue eyes capturing all my attention.
"What were doing then, Anderson?" he asked.
Someone would think he would have stopped calling me Anderson now that we were dating. No such luck there.
"I came to wake you up," I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Good thing you did," he leaned down and my breath hitched. I closed my eyes as my lips awaited his.
I felt the soft brush of his lips on my eyelid, trailing down the side of my face. I opened my eyes to see his soft hair tickling my nose as he brushed his lips over my neck.
My heart beat out of my chest, the skin burning wherever his lips touched.
"I could get used to this," he murmured, looking back into my eyes. His eyes were a deeper color than usual and it excited me as much as it scared me.
"Me too," I breathed.
He smiled at me and sat up, the covers still covering the lower part of his body and I wondered if he was wearing anything underneath. I blushed at my perverted thoughts.
He stood up, the covers falling behind. He was wearing a pair of boxers. I couldn't tell if I was relieved or disappointed.
"Wanna join me?" he asked.
"I already took a shower," I answered.
"I had a chance then," he smirked.
Good thing I had something to throw this time. "No!" I threw a pillow at him.
He easily caught it and laughed. "A guy gotta try," he said throwing it back. It landed beside me. He disappeared into the bathroom.
My eyes fell on my phone still in my hands and I sighed. Will I ever be able to pull a prank on him?
I straightened my hair and my top.
As I stood to go downstairs and hang out with Ashton until Asher got ready, his phone rang. I couldn't help but peek at the caller's ID and my mouth dried up.
Why was she calling him?
Didn't she know he was no longer available? It was Jessica, the actress who thought she and Asher made the cutest couple. Well, the fans thought that, but it didn't matter. What mattered was why was she calling him?
I waited for the ringing to stop. When it finally did, a thought came to my mind. I wanted to know what she was gonna say. I doubted I was gonna like it, but I was curious.
The phone rang again after some time. Should I? No, it's not right. It couldn't hurt. I should respect his privacy. No, I won't answer it.
By the time I could come to a decision, the call stopped.
I sighed in relief that I wouldn't have to decide. But then it rang again.
Fuck it! I would deal with it.
I sent it to voicemail and put it on loudspeaker.
"Hello rock star," her annoyingly sweet voice sang. I wanted to vomit.
Before I could listen anything else, the phone was snatched from my hands and the speaker turned off. I didn't hear him come. I looked up to see Asher, a towel wrapped low around his waist and his hair dripping wet. I would appreciate the view if I weren't glaring at him.
He narrowed his eyes at me and then went to the balcony to receive her call.
What the fuck?
I scoffed. He chose her over me. Over me?!
Okay, I shouldn't have tried to put my nose where it didn't belong, but she called thrice. Who called thrice in less than a span of five minutes if it wasn't something important? I was just helping him. What if it was something important? I was just getting a message for him. Yeah, right. As if a message is taken through eavesdropping a voicemail.
I was sitting on his bed when he came in after about two minutes.
He walked to his walk-in closet, my eyes trailing after him until he went inside. He came out wearing black jeans and pulling a t-shirt over his head.
"Ready to go?" he asked.
I didn't say anything.
"Anderson?"
He came to stand in front of me. When I didn't look up, he crouched in front of me.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
Why was he not saying anything about what happened?
"Anderson, tell me," he said, furrowing his brows at me.
"Are you not going to say anything about it?" I asked.
"About what?"
Was he playing dumb?
"About the call. About Jessica," I said, exasperated.
He laughed.
He actually laughed.
"It was nothing. She just called to say hi," he answered, standing.
"Do you really want me to believe that?" I stood up too.
"What's there to not believe?" he sat on his couch to put on his shoes.
"She called thrice, Asher. No one calls thrice just to say hi," I said.
He just stared at me for a moment.
"Who even says thrice?" he said, the side of his mouth tilting up.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Not the point. Stop trying to dodge the question," I said.
"What do you want me to say?" he asked after he was done and stood up.
"I want you to be honest with me, Asher," I said walking toward him.
He looked away.
"If you want this thing to work, you will have to trust me with your secrets," I said.
I reached out and put my hands on his cheeks to make him look at me.
When he did look at me he smirked.
"It's okay, Anderson. It's totally normal to be jealous," he wrapped both his hands around my wrist and pulled them behind his back.
"I like it when you're jealous," he said, leaning down to kiss me.
I closed my eyes, but I didn't kiss him back. He was doing it again. He was dodging the question.
I thought this could work. I really thought we could make it. But if he wasn't going to open up, there was only so much I could do.
He stopped when he realized I wasn't going to give in. No matter how much I wanted to.
"I'll be down in a moment," he patted my cheek.
"Okay," I nodded.
I stopped at the doorway.
"Asher, I think we should do this some other time. I'm not feeling like it today," I said.
"Why, what happened?" he asked, even though he knew exactly why I wasn't feeling like it. Someone should give him an award for ignorance.
"Nothing. See you later," I said and got out of there as fast as I could without actually running.
****
I clicked on another hyperlink. I was searching colleges for higher studies. I still didn't know what I wanted to do.
A knock sounded at my door.
"Come in," I called, not looking up. It was probably my dad.
I was reading the eligibility criteria when the whole bed dipped beside me, almost making me fall off the side.
I yelped as I held onto my laptop.
"What the hell?" I yelled when I heard Asher laugh.
I glared at him as I waited for his laughter to stop.
He sobered up when he saw me glaring daggers at him.
"What brings you here?" I asked, uninterested.
I opened up another college website in another tab.
"Are you craving some grilled sandwiches?" That peaked my interest.
"Actually, I am," I said.
"Come on, then!" he shut my laptop.
We went to a Diner which was really famous for its food around here, especially their grilled sandwiches. Asher chose a booth at the corner where no one would disturb us.
We were having fun. I thought all we did was prank each other and fought and there wouldn't be anything to talk about if we didn't do that, but I was wrong. There was so much to talk about. Now that he wasn't making fun of me, I could see his humor.
I laughed so much that I forgot about what happened earlier this morning. Times like these assured me that we could make it.
I was so engrossed that I didn't see someone come until they were standing right beside our table. I looked up at the person and my lips stretched into a thin line.
"You've got to be kidding me," Asher muttered.
"Ellie. Hi," Evan said.
What was he doing here? Why would he even approach me after what he did?
I looked straight ahead, not answering him. I didn't want to talk to him or be near him.
"Ellie, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.
"No," Asher scoffed.
"I asked her," Evan snapped at Asher.
Asher put both his hands on the table and stood up.
"After what you did to her, it's a miracle I haven't beaten you to shit right here. Yet," Asher said.
"Fine. Just a minute," I said. I didn't want to create a scene and I think I also needed a closure. I wanted to know why he did what he did.
"That's all I want," Evan said.
Asher looked like he wanted to argue.
"I'll wait outside," Evan went out.
I stood to go.
"You're seriously not going, right?" Asher said.
"I want to know what he has to say," I said.
"Who cares what he has to say? He could come up with a thousand lies, but obviously you're too smart to believe them. Why bother?" he said. If I didn't know him better, I would say it was bothering him more than it should.
"I'll be back," I said.
He didn't look happy.
Evan was waiting with his hands in his pocket.
"You have sixty seconds," I said.
He gave me a small smile. I had always found his smile to be his best part, after his laugh. I didn't know if after years I would be able to remember them that way.
"I won't say that it was all a big lie because it wasn't. Though, I wish it were, maybe then I would get to keep you," he said.
I waited for him to continue.
"My intentions may not be right, but my feelings were honest, Ellie. I'm not asking you to take me back or anything. Heck, even I know that's impossible." He let put a humorless chuckle. He took my hands in his and I let him.
" I just want you to know that it wasn't all fake," he said softly.
I looked down at my hands in his as he rubbed his thumb on the back if my hand.
"I found a friend in you. Being near you made me happy. I wish I could change the circumstances under which this friendship bloomed, but I'm not sure if I would have ever gotten the chance to know you if it wasn't for that." I looked up to see into his eyes. He gave me a somber smile.
"Maybe after a few years when the wounds aren't as fresh we could give a chance to being friends again?" he asked.
"Yes, we can," I mumbled.
All that he said made me realize just how lonely he was. He had no friends. No one to go to. And he had been like this all his life.
When he hugged me, I let myself get washed over by his warmth.
"But you didn't tell me why you did that?" I asked when we pulled back.
He chuckled.
"Let's leave that story for some other time," he said.
Then he became all serious.
"It was nice knowing you, Ellie," he pressed his lips to my forehead.
Why do I feel like he was saying goodbye?
I stood there a long time after he left. It felt like it was his last goodbye. Like I wouldn't see him ever again. But he said to leave that story for another time? That meant there would be another time. I was very confused when Asher came out to stand beside me.
"The fucker kissed you. He fucking kissed you!"
I rolled my eyes.
"You forgave him, didn't you?" he looked at me.
Yes, I did.
"How dare he kiss you?!"
I wrapped my arm around Asher's as we walked the other way.
He was still grumbling about Evan.
I smiled. He was cute when he got jealous.
"Someone's jealous," I sang.
He scoffed.
"I'm not jealous. You were jealous when Jessica called me," he said.
Great timing to bring that bitch up.
"Stop being a kid, Asher. You are being unreasonable," I said, dropping his arm.
"Oh, I'm being unreasonable and a kid when I don't like you getting close to a guy who, may I add, you have a history with. And it's perfectly normal for you to get all up in my business when a girl calls me. Fair thinking there, Anderson," he said, using his hands in an annoyed gesture.
"You are the one with secrets, Asher. Not me. Can you blame me if I get a bit suspicious? You have a daughter for crying out loud!" I clamped my mouth shut, but it was too late. The damage was already done.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," I rushed to make it right. I reached out for his hand, but he pulled it away.
"But it's true," he said.
"Huh?"
"It's true that I have a daughter. You don't see us making it far, do you? You never did. Even before we started dating, that was your reason to not date me. Because you thought we wouldn't make it," he said.
I looked away. He was right. Even after I had confessed, I still thought it was a temporary thing. That was why I didn't want to ruin our friendship. But I couldn't stay away.
"I can't help but wonder Calla would want both her parents to be together when she grows up enough to realize that. And you too. Wouldn't you want to be with the mother of your child?"
"Even if I say no. Even if I say that I would want to be with you instead. It wouldn't change anything, right? It wouldn't change what you think," he said.
He was right again.
He chucked humorlessly.
"I don't know what I am even doing here," he ran both his hands through his hair and held them behind his head.
"Asher, let's talk it out," I tried to reason. I hated to be the practical one, but someone had to.
"There is nothing to talk!" he snapped.
I flinched.
"You know what? You can keep all your doubts and your insecurities with you. It was too good to last anyway," he said and walked away.
I couldn't help the tears that fell down my eyes. I saw him until he blurred from my vision.
I knew it would happen. Just like he said it was too good to last. I just hoped we got longer than this.
I wanted to laugh at myself. Who was I kidding? We couldn't even last a week.
Part of me wanted him to be with me until I believed it's forever. But that was another thing too good to be true.
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Sadly, only a few (maybe 2-3) chapters are left now.
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-K