Tonight I'm going on a date with Elliot. I mean do I really want this to happen? Do I even still have the same feelings I had back in summer camp? Is the fire still burning?
So many questions. So many doubts. As I try to erase my questions away from my mind. I took a deep breath, looking at myself in the mirror.
"You can do this. It's just one boy. One date." I said to myself trying to calm down my anxiety level.
My two feet walk over to my phone, and my purse. I took one more last deep breath. Exiting out of my room door frame. My feet go clump clump as I walk down the stairs.
I reach for the doorknob, there he was standing all handsome and what not.
"Ally, you look beautiful." He said.
"Thanks, you look amazing too"
"Shall we?" A smile creeps on his face. And all I can think about is Austin.
"Yes, by all means." I exit out of my house, shutting the front door.
Hopefully, this date won't be a disaster.
"So where are we going?" I said questioning.
Already I'm asking questions. Come on Ally.
"This fancy restaurant called Oranjee's"
"Sounds fancy" I said raising my eyebrow.
We made it to the restaurant. By the looks of this place, the money for the meals are expensive. The restaurant was so beautiful. It had red velvet wallpapers from right to left.
A chandelier hanging above the ceiling in the middle, fancy brown wooden tables, on top was white sleek table cloths including mini scented candles.
I sat down on the right, Elliot pushed my chair. What a gentleman.
"Thanks Elliot."
"You're welcome." Then he sits down on the left. "So how are the songs coming?"
"They are getting there. Austin and I have been working really hard" just saying his name make my heart crush inside.
"That's good. I mean his album is super good! You are the best song writer, those songs are so good."
"Thanks Elliot. How's the mechanics going?"
"Good. Really good." He smiled at me.
I didn't smile back. I mean this is destroying me inside, I thought I can go with it. Be happy. But I'm not. I feel guilty.
"Ally, are you okay?" Elliot said concerned.
I look up at him. "Yeah I'm fine." Not really.
The waiter comes up with two menus. "Good evening, what would you like?"
My eyes start searching. "I would like the carrot casuarina"
"And for you sir?" The waiter patiently waits.
"Yes. I would like the same thing as the lady" he looks at me, smiling.
Okay, what's up with this guy?
Be quiet. He's cute. He's a gentleman.
Yeah a total gentleman uhh creepy alert.
"Be quiet." I said.
Elliot was confused. "I didn't say anything"
I look back at him. "Sorry."
"Umm okay. Your food will be here in 20 minutes" the waiter grabs both menus going back to the back room.
"Ally, are you sure you are okay. You been acting not like yourself. What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm fine, really." I smile.
Would you just tell the boy you have feelings for Austin?
Austin is better for you.
You love Austin.
You love Austin.
You love Austin.
I closed my eyes. Then try to shake off the voices in my head. I open my eyes back.
"Here are your carrot casuarinas. Enjoy!" The waiter puts down our food on both sides of the table.
"Thank you" I said.
"Thank you"
I dip my spoon in the bowl, I take my first bite.
"Mmm." My body slithers down.
"This carrot casuarina is so good!" Elliot said.
Go to Austin. Go to him. You know you love him.
No. I'm not going to ditch Elliot like that.
I tried so hard to focus on my date with Elliot. But the truth is, I can't. I really can't.
"Elliot. I'm really sorry, but I have to go." I said while getting up from my seat. I'm sorry Elliot.
"Ally. What's wrong? You can tell me. We always been friends" Elliot said.
"It's not you Elliot. It's me. I just have to go and figure some stuff out. I hope you understand that you didn't do anything wrong." I said.
"Can I take you home?"
"No. I'm fine. Thank you." I start walking away from him. I wanted to cry, I wanted to hate Austin. But I can't. My heart just won't let me.
I exit out of the restaurant, and start walking back home. The empty house with nobody but me. It's just me, nobody else. Just me.
I reach upon my house, I grab the house key, starting to turn the door knob. I enter.
✖️
My two feet starts going upstairs, just seeing the empty hallways make my heart crumble and break. My eyes peek inside my fathers room. I can feel tears in my eyes. I want to kill the person who did that to my father. I want him to suffer. To feel the same pain I'm feeling. I want him to DIE.
I go inside my room, sitting on my bed trying to figure these confused feelings. I never thought I can still have feelings after what Dallas did to me. I thought I can never ever love again but the truth is, I love Austin but I like Elliot.
Ally, the answer is obviously right there in your face. You have to date Elliot, I mean he's single, he likes you clearly plus Austin has a gf. So you don't have a change with him. The voices inside my head are telling me, yelling at me. Screaming.
I know Austin has a girlfriend, but I don't think he's interested in her anymore. I mean she is a jealous, controlling freak. So I wouldn't blame him.
Smack! Smack! I look over at my window, it was Austin. I immediately pull up my window up to see what he wants.
"Austin, what are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to see you before the night is over. To see if you are okay. Can I come in?"
"Uhh...sure. But how?"
He begins to climb up a tree next to my house, and then there he was standing in my room. Next to me.
"So what's up?" I said curious.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I promise."
"So how was your date with Elliot?" He said awkwardly.
"Actually, can we not talk about that right now?" Cause I really don't want to think about my confused-mixed-mashup feelings.
"Okay. Sorry."
We stand there not saying anything. Just standing all awkwardly.
"So how is your relationship with you & Kira? Is it getting any better or still worse?"
"I mean it's okay." I know that is not okay. Why is Austin lying to me? I know that he wants to break with her. So why won't he just get it over?
"Austin. Can I ask you something?"
"You can ask me anything Ally."
"If you are tired of Kira & her drama. Why are you still with her? Is there a reason why you haven't broke up with her?"
"Why do you want to know so much?" He said with a annoying tone in his voice.
That made my blood go stone cold.
"Because you don't deserve this! You deserve someone who will love you, and not always bring up drama! You deserve someone who will be there for you if you need for you! Most importantly, you deserve someone who makes you happy! Is Kira making you happy?"
"Ally! It's not your business what me and Kira are doing!" Okay, where's the caring compassion Austin I use to know.
"Austin, what's going on with you? This isn't you. What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Everything is fine! I just don't want you to be in my relationship business all the time! No wonder why Dallas did those things to you."
Now I'm pissed. How dare he say to me?!!!!
"GET OUT!" I screamed. "I will never speak to you again!"
Then he left. Leaving me so stone cold and broken. How dare he say that to me? What is going on with him? I don't even know who that person is anymore.