seven - impossible
семь - невозможно
|| ★ ||
THE NEXT MONTH CONSISTED OF ME getting my normal tortures, having a dinner with him every three weeks, and having some talks with Steve's mystery friend. It was sad to see Steve's friend among the crowd as he watched me get my normal tortures; he would flinch and his facial reactions gave away some past experiences. Still, he didn't crack in conversations with me or do anything to clear up my confusion with him.
I was thrown to the ground for the third time today as I just laid on my back. I closed my tired eyes as I looked at Dominick, my eyes burning into his cruel chocolate one's. I wasn't "allowed" to win against Dominick someone had told me but now, I was completely done.
I flung my body up from the ground, my feet softly hitting the concrete as I cracked my knuckles. "Alright, Dominick, again." I snarled as I gestured for him to come at me, my stance turning into that of a boxer.
All eyes were turned to us in the training facility, they drooled for a good fight.
Dominick growled as he was the first to attack. Bad choice, since he was so big and he was extremely predictable. He tried to punch my side as I dodged his swing and kicked his chin, he stuttered back as his eyes filled with hatred.
"You're going to play dirty, huh?" He jumped as I managed to hit his stomach as he made me loose my balance. He gripped my leg and flung me at the cords on the sides of the ring. I used the extra spring to punch him in the jaw before flipping over his body and onto his shoulders.
He snarled as he continued to grab and scratch at me; I rolled my eyes and hit the back of his head. He was dazed but managed to grab my arm and throw me to the ground. I gasped for breath when I hit the ground sharply, my eyes seeing black dots for a second. I looked into the distance and saw Steve's friend, he was shaking as he had stepped a foot out of line. What was his problem?
A hand slammed into the ground where my head once was. He wobbled from the momentum of the punch and I took that as an opportunity to kick his nose. He stumbled back while his face held a grimace, a howl of pain being let out. Distraction. I kicked his side as he seemed to have bit he tongue before I punched his face and kneed his gut. He groaned before I jumped onto his back and pushed him down, elbowing the back of his head to send him into a world of darkness.
My nose bled down my lip as I could taste the metallic thickness of the liquid; my knuckles bled from the immense and powerful punches I was throwing at Dominick. He should know not to mess with me, but yet he still chooses to constantly bug me.
His body slumped to the ground as I looked at all the trainees around me. "Anyone else?" Nobody stepped forward as I whistled before jumping over the bungee cords and hit the ground softly. A soldier approached me as I held out my hands, he cuffed me and then I was grabbed roughly.
Four other guards encircled me as trainees watched as I walked past, I knew I stood over them in many levels but I didn't want too. I didn't want to go back to my old ways, I didn't want the power anymore. I noticed a guard trail behind (aka Steve's friend) as he drilled his ghostly eyes into the back of my head.
We walked down the corridor filled with more soldiers as I just glanced at all of them, counting the guns. I looked away when I was brought into an operating room, I was set on the table as I saw the guards strapping me down. They lined up along the walls as I whistled to myself.
"-send him to the chamber!" I heard his voice when he walked through the door, my eyes starring at the huge blazing light above me. His boots clapped against the ground until they stopped, a sharp hand grabbing my face. My eyes met his as he smiled, "I heard of yet another victory over one of my best soldiers. You are starting to annoy me."
He let me go as he moved to the pair of doctors on the wall of monitors. One came over and unbuttoned some of my shirt before putting wires on it, followed by beeping noises of a heart monitor. I let out a long, hollow breath before he came back into my view.
"Guards, I've got it under control. Be outside, I'll call you if she acts up," he said as I heard the shuffling of boots, the last soldier glancing at me before shutting the door quietly.
His eyes sparkled as a doctor came to his side, a syringe in his hands.
Let the games begin.
Screams will become impossible.
|| ★ ||
He entered late that night with a tray of food and a grim look on his face.
I didn't move as I watched the door shut behind him with a loud bang, wow. Way to let everyone know that you are here.
I clicked on the flashlight he had left me as he slowly set the tray in front of me then stepped back. I looked at the food as I pushed it away, my stomach doing flips after today's procedure. I was too sick.
"Eat." He commanded as he slid it closer to me, his voice not wavering. He was finally acting like the guard he was supposed to be. Congrats, he was turning Steve's friend into a monster.
"I don't take commands from his soldiers," I muttered. In a flash, I was pinned against the nearest wall with the metal arm I had become so familiar with. My eyes wavered as they slowly trailed up his arm before meeting his. I noticed the sadness that filled them - he was no longer trying to conceal emotions with me. How strange.
"Let me go," I whispered roughly as he didn't. I couldn't take it anymore, my mind collapsed on itself and a waterfall of tears started to slip down my cheek. In seconds I was on the ground, being set down softly. I was wrapped in a blanket as he gently wiped some tears away with his hands.
"What did they do?" He asked lowly as I looked down at my legs, the tattered pants I was wearing seemed to no longer exist from the beatings they had endured with me.
"I'm already a monster, they are just enhancing it," I whispered as I closed my eyes, tears stopping. I was done, no more emotions. Why was I showing this man so many? For all I knew, he could be apart of this facility. He could be one of them.
He just seemed to try to find the answers in my tears as he gently sat down in front of me. He slid the tray closer to me, then gently looked at the food. He seemed concentrated, his eyes trained on the chicken. His sharp features were highlight in the dim lighting of the flashlight, a small gruff of a beard growing on his jawline and under his nose. I noticed the way his eyes were sunken in from years of barely any sleep, then I noticed the purple half moons under his eyes.
I was about to ask a question but he spoke first, "What did he do?"
I sucked in a sharp breath, it was obvious he hit a nerve. I gingerly touched the chicken before picking off a morsel of it, "They want to enhance me in some way... they want me to be so enhanced I'm before any generation to come." I let in a quavering breath, "Since my time coming here, he had been injecting me with viruses, diseases, cancer." My eyes started to water as I gripped my body, it started to shake. "I'm his living experiment."
Silence filled the room as I heard the prisoners at the end of the hall conversing with each other. I shook as I closed my eyes, I wasn't immune. I wasn't a super soldier like Steve, what was I to do? Wait till the cancer took me over? I coughed but didn't notice the way I leaned into the soldier and cried into his shoulder.
I was so tired, so worn down, what did I have left to live for?
I wanted to change the subject, I pulled away and felt a pained ping in my heart. It was nice to have someone to lean on again, but I knew it would just damage me more, "Have you gotten any sleep since you've been here?"
He seemed taken aback by the question with his brows furrowed and his eyes questioning. He let out a long breath before shrugging.
"Oh no, not this again," I put my head against the wall as I groaned. "You and your silent treatments. Look, I get it if you're shy or just not to keen to talking but it's like you're not even here. I've been alone for the most of my life, I enjoy company, ok? The least you could say is a yes or a no." I stood as I shifted the blanket on my shoulders, then took my knife out of a hiding spot in the wall.
I didn't notice he left until I heard the door. It infuriated me to see him like this, I don't know why. I wanted to know why he was so damaged, but he never confessed. I still don't know his damn name.
...
The following night, I was in my cell when he entered. An unknown guard shutting the door behind him as I looked at the darkness, but I could feel his presence.
"How is my darling doing?" He whispered in the darkness, his voice was cold and low. He was a devil tonight.
I didn't answer as I felt him try and grab me but I dodged, I moved to the opposite side as I heard his chuckles echo off the walls.
"Are you scared? Are you finally scared of me?" He slowly walked closer before stopping about five feet away.
"I will never be scared of you," I hissed as I dodged his attack again, he tripped on my blanket as he caught himself on the wall.
I grabbed my knife from the slot in the wall before hiding it behind me, he cackled before he started to pace back and forth. He was going to hurt me, I could smell it in the air.
"Oh my sweet darling, don't do that to yourself. Don't overthink," I could feel him smiling as he stopped, his breath sending a chilled pressure. "I'm just here to talk about some little details here and there - "
A shot ran out across the cell as I felt my knees buckle as I hit the ground, I cried out lowly before gripping my shoulder. Tears fell down my cheeks, the coldness making me shiver. He stood above me as a cruel smile replaced his grin, I closed my eyes as he grabbed my neck.
Images flashed through my mind of having this experience happening millions of times, why? Because I had managed to always throw myself into dangerous and terrible places, I was so naive. It's sad to see your life flash through your eyes, images of your regret, your misery, your opportunities, your actions, your happiness, everything. But in a way, there was peace in silence. It's hard to think that silence and peace relate, is there really peace in silence? I wasn't sure anymore, my mind was a mess. Especially on the brink of death.
I could finally see Death, himself. He stood over me, but he looked at me with such sorrow. Could a ghost do that? Show emotion? He seemed to examine the situation before kneeling down, his body melting through the devil in front of me. Would he take me?
"Stay still darling, it will only pinch," right when he said it a tingling pinch was felt through my flesh. My eyes got droopy as I noticed he was taking blood out of me, I tried to push him away but my shoulder screamed in pain. "Shh... shh..." he whispered softly in my ear, "Don't think my dear, just rest..."
Death stood, a smile on his ghostly face. He was just a apparition; blackness overtook me as my head slumped against his shoulder.
Just as I blacked out, I seemed to have woken up. How strange. How strange that life could throw such a curve ball your way so fast. Why was life so cruel?
I was being shook roughly as I felt my eyes fly open, I winced as I saw a flashlight in my eyes. I covered my face but let out a groan as my shoulder flared with pain. I gripped my shirt roughly as the flashlight was brought away before I saw the worried face of Steve's friend.
"What - "
"Don't move," he whispered sharply as I threw my head back when he pressed on the bullet wound. He covered my mouth to hold back a scream that wanted to escape my lips. Tears streamed down my face as I felt his breath against my neck, he was helping me... but why?
I noticed that my wound was cleaned, scarring, and a hurt a little less when I had tried to move it. How long had he been working on it? Why did he even want to help me? What was there for him to saves? I squeezed my eyes shut before looking up as his face, wrinkles covered his face from concentration and... Worry? Why would he be worried?
I felt a needle being stitched through my wound as I bit my tongue to control my expressions. I was breathing heavily after he had finished as I laid on the floor in silence. He had begun to clean up his hands using the water he had brought me, the small first aid kit he had brought being put back in his pocket.
"You shouldn't have helped me..." I whispered as I looked at the dark ceiling, the shadows casting across in since of the flashlight. I noticed the demons that lurked in the shadows of this room, they laughed at me. Their glowing eyes watched the situation unraveling in front of them; they fed off my pain, my fear, my depressions, my anger, my coldness.
"I couldn't see you die here," he whispered as I heard him leaning against the wall beside me.
"I need to die - " I held my breath because I still didn't know his name. "Never mind, just get out of here. I don't need your help, or the Avengers, or whoever the hell wants to help me..." I breathed heavily from the pain that still coursed throughout my body.
Nothing was heard for the next twenty minutes, except for my heavy breathing. I heard footsteps outside but they never bothered to stop and look at the rogue guard in my cell. I gently set a hand over my eyes as I let out quavering breaths. Why hadn't he left? He would have usually stormed out of her in seconds, he was a ghost. Once seen, but never again.
"You're scared aren't you?" He whispered as he looked over at me, his weary eyes looking at my face then dragging them across my slumped body. I laid in a puddle of my own blood, I didn't feel like moving. The blood sparking a feeling of uneasiness and weakness throughout my body, why was I so weak?
I just sat there before sighing, "What do you know? Huh? It's not like you're going to tell me, all you do is just sit there and stare." He seemed to straighten up from my comment (knowing I had hit a nerve) but this time he didn't storm out of the room. Wow, someone was finally getting stronger.
"You may think you're alone, but you're not," he whispered under his breath - almost like he wasn't there.
"I'm sorry, I wouldn't know because nobody damn talks to me!" I grunted as I gripped my pulsating shoulder, the pain running through my wound. "I wouldn't know damn anything because I'm always alone! That's what they do to me, okay? Fucking break me till there is nothing damn left." I coughed out blood as I gripped my shoulder harder.
I closed my eyes, "Somebody once told me that the most damaged people can fix anyone. I think that they were damn wrong, I can't fix what I've done. But I sure as hell regret it."
I gingerly started to stand as I got to my feet, my entire body aching as the blood from my wound rushing down to my feet. I leaned against the wall as I got a sudden head rush, my entire vision filling with black dots. I closed my eyes as I wiped a fallen tear onto my uniform.
"Seventeen," he muttered out. His voice echoed against the walls as it hit my sensitive ears, my face scrunching into pain. "What does that mean to you?"
I slowly turned so I was glanced at him over my shoulder. His hands shook and he let out shaking breaths, that word connected with him somehow. I furrowed my brow as I slowly looked at the wall of drawings.
"You really want to know?" I asked as I couldn't look him in his eye anymore.
"Please," he begged.
I was so confused, who was this man? Why did he want to know so much about me? Most people out there in society always wanted the center of attention, they never stopped talking. That's what saddens me in this cruel world - who ever stops to look at the beauty of things? From the broken shatters I can always see something magnificent, but I never approach anything of beauty anymore.
When I looked at this man, it was like I recognized him in a way. His soft eyes, his caring and soft touch, his stanch in this world, his gentle words that never asked for much. He was a man of pure selflessness, but his eyes spoke otherwise. I turned to look at this strange but cunning man, was he the shattered that turned into something magnificent?
So many damn questions, but no answers.
I let out a shallow breath before closing my eyes, "I remember years ago someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love, I did. I used to know a soldier who was born in -" I shut my mouth for a second, a long pause. "Never mind, but, he promised me he would come back for me and never did. He was gone so effortlessly and there's nothing much to say. He died by the hand of his captor, I was told never to think of him ever again. Love is a damaging but amazing feeling, I was told to take caution when falling for someone. I did, but once he died, my love died with it. It's saddening to see a person break from heart break, but it's even worse to experience it.
"I became empty, I'm just a shell. A vessel. There's nothing left of me, and I don't plan on going back to my old days." I let out a quavering breath as I stared at the wall. "Seventeen is my name, my code name, my mission, my profile, my existence. I am nothing more than a weapon. You should stay away from me, whoever you are."
I hugged myself as I looked down, my mind void of the feeling of love. I hadn't felt such a powerful emotion in such a long time, sure I yearned for it, but I didn't take any steps towards it. "Falling into love made me feel on top of the world, but falling for betrayal is worse. He left me. He promised me that we would make it out saw, together. Broken hearts are impossible to fix, they are just shattered. Mine was left in a faculty probably millions of miles away from here, I can't - I can't -" I gripped my face, my eyes watering. "I can't go back to the past, I've just got to be willing to continue to move forward. But my love is broken..."
I looked at the expression on his face, but couldn't read it in the dim darkness. What was this man thinking? Had he ever experienced love before? To be honest, love made me feel whole and I tried to fill it with my friends love but it never filled the trench that had dug itself so deep. What was left after the war I had lost so badly?
Again, silence took over the chamber I resided in. I could hear him standing but I didn't want to acknowledge him. I was lost in my twisted thoughts, why was I questioning this man so much? What is he doing to me?
What is he doing to me?
He slowly came around my side before looking into my eyes, electric blue against ghostly blue. His eyes widened as he seemed to loose his train of thought. His ghostly looks seemed to mix with remembrance and shock, his eyes finally not void of feelings.
"Impossible."