"The key to such power is ambiguity. In a society where the roles everyone plays are obvious, the refusal to conform to any standard will excite interest. Be both masculine and feminine, impudent and charming, subtle and outrageous. Let other people worry about being socially acceptable; those types are a dime a dozen, and you are after a power greater than they can imagine."
― Robert Greene.
Kaden.
I call Skylar as soon as i hang up my other phone call. i figured out how to get her out of florence even though i'll have to pull a favor. The girl did get me out of the country so i owe her that. "i said i'd call" i say almost whispering. This is not a secure line and i'd like to keep my words well chosen in case i need to explain them.
"You really can't live without me can you? I mean I miss you too but this is getting embarrassing. We haven't even been on a date" she says in a sarcastic manner. i smile to myself and looking out the window I speak carefully.
"I promise you a date once you're here with me. Now, to do that, you'll have to go to the docks and find Amandalina, she'll tell you what to do."
"i haven't seen her in a while, where is she?" she asks and with the code i already figured out, if anyone's listening, nothing out of the ordinary is going on here.
"let me get the phone number... wait" i say slowly and hope to hell she's paying enough attention, that's all i can do, hope. i put the phone down on the table and tap with my pen on the glass window. tap hold tap tap. tap tap. tap tap tap hold. hold hold hold. tap hold tap. hold tap. hold hold hold.
"it's 479 Atlantis city" i make up an address off the top of my head, i make sure it's an absurd one. "the you get the city i said?"
"yes, i got it. remember that date, i expect payment." and with that she's gone. She knows Morse, so she knows to go to the Docks in Livorno and find a boat called amandalina, where a person who owes me will have their chance to pay up.
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For two days, surveillance is all i do. no one's figure out where i am yet and quite frankly i'm beginning to think Skylar's been caught. i shouldn't expect a smoke signal but when all i do is sit around watching and noting somebody i can't help but think. in the past two days i've collected a good deal of information, being as careful as humanly possible. this is the part of the job no one brags about. many gain a hell of a lot of weight while surveilling. at night, while the target sleeps i stay up, thinking of how to carry out this favor i owe for having Seymour pull Skylar across the border. he's got a shit ton of money, he owns a shipment company and transports cargo across continents be it by sea or land. really nice guy, can be a dick though. His daughter is arriving in Moscow tonight and it so happens that her escort service was recently attacked. Seymour thinks someone's out to kidnap her. I'm keeping an eye on her until Seymour makes it back to Moscow and his personal detail can take care of her. So.... i guess i'm just babysitting. i get in the car i rented for a whole week, a BMW M6, fully loaded with enough ammunition, should the case arise. i go to the airport and wait with my head down until i see the 13 year old walk along with her body guard to me. i shake hands with the man who thanks me for helping out when they're low on man power.
i can't drive them to my hotel so i drive straight to their private home, 46 minutes north. Inside the house i check every entrance, every alarm, every security camera and stay up for another 2 hours while the girl and her bodyguard sleep.
at exactly 4 in the morning i get a call from Seymour. "your daughter's safe" i announce.
"good, your little girlfriend is giving me a fight and doesn't want me to take her to the address you gave me and i'm not about to get my balls smashed again. she left 10 minutes ago"
"again?"
"well she didn't know who i was and i being the gentleman i am approached her from behind and touched her shoulder" i chuckle at the thought of Skylar going off on someone because they touched her shoulder.
"But yeah she left as soon as we got to Moscow, i'm on my way home though, i'll be there in 1 hour" and just like that he hangs up. Another hour ticks by, but this one is filled of thoughts of her. Of how she's probably already found even the room i'm staying in. of how gorgeous she looks every time she kisses me. And how much I want to fucking touch her already. Everything i knew about her was suddenly flipped upside down when we met. I expected this person i have on my files on her. i expected someone who's cautious, smart as shit and scared of nothing, a person who'll go to any length to prove her strength. But face to face it was hard for me to remember who i had on file. Her voice, the way she carried herself, the words she spoke, the movement of her hands and the eye contact that made everyone trust her, and an ability that made her so persuasive and such a good operative, that.... That i didn't count for. i've been with other women before, but none has made me question my next move. None has made me question what's real, and what's play.
Elizabeth was a wild ride. We had a thing going on at when i was CIA and the director of operations for TEST01. But shit got boring fast, we both knew it. We both knew i couldn't stand her monotony and she knew she couldn't stand my evasiveness, my need to be alone. And more than anything my unpredictability. She hated when i was in bed one night and the next day i was gone and likely very far away. Relationships have never worked out for me in my life. i could never have what Chris had with Alicia. He was on the bad side of business but she knew he'd make it back in one piece. Until he didn't, and her life came apart in a matter of minutes.
5am rolls around and the Aston Martin pulls up on the driveway, Seymour gets out with his security detail of 4 men. i go outside and he pulls me into a Russian hug, a strong, sure embrace. "my favorite American. how's everything?" he shakes my shoulders.
"my man" i chuckle. "your daughter is inside safe and sound not a single movement around the house, and i updated your security software, you don't want a virus" and i don't want to owe you anything more.
"come back inside for a drink" before he can continue i shake my head slowly.
"thank you seymour for the favor but i should get going. i've been busy lately. you understand"
"Of course my friend. You go do your baddass American shit. Maybe one day you'll teach me one of those moves you've got so i don't get my balls smashed again" he laughs and walks to the main door as i hop in my BMW.
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Skylar.
When i finally slide into Kaden's room at 5:10am using the cleaning staff's key card i drop off my bags and decide to take my pants off and fall on the soft fancy bed holding my Beretta under my pillow and take a much deserved sleep. At some point afterwards i feel warm hands slide around my waist, pulling me hard and fingers running circles over my belly.
i open my eyes as wide as they go when i wake up in the morning to a hit to the back of my head. The move flips something on and the first thing i do is jump off the bed holding my gun to point it at the source of my attack. Fucking Kaden. "motherfucker" I let out an annoyed sigh.
he wakes up to see me holding the gun. "shit"
"What was that?!" I massage my head.
"What are you talking about?" his eyes are not fully open and he probably doesn't even hear me.
"You hit my fucking head with your... elbow or whatever. Damn, do you work those out?" i see he was sleeping on his chest and his elbows were pointed in both directions.
"I'm sorry" he sounds really sleepy, it is 9 in the morning, and lays his head back down. He must have slipped in the bed whenever he got back from whatever he was doing.
"Bro" i put the gun on the bedside table annoyed. my heartbeat finally slowing down.
"Don't call me that" i hear.
"How about you don't give me a concussion then?" i let out a breath, i'm not going back to sleep now. "i'm going for a run, and to get a new bed" i joke with a serious face and get running clothes. i change right there seeing he is completely out. did he even hear me before? "yo Kaden!" i yell.
"what?!" he yells back.
"i'm going for a run!"
"Ok? jesus christ" I laugh at myself and go out the room. "don't get taken"
i run down the stairs as a warm up. i do my 40 minutes of cardio without being catcalled or kidnapped, which is a lot i can say. during my freezing run all i can think of is how exhilarating it is to be wanted. my hood covers most of my face and plus, the run also serves to see what's going on around these few blocks, see if there's any police close, if there's a lot of movement. it all seems fine until thoughts of him start creeping in my head. i think of his muscles on display for me to see this morning when i was hit to consciousness. his scars were visible, his tattoos were visible and i wanted to stay in that warm bed as bad a my next breath. but i don't feel anything for him. right?
right?
I can't let anyone turn me into someone weaker than this. This is who i am, i cannot break down for someone. i'll become a liability and that's not me. The inside of the hotel is cold, very very cold.
"holy shit" i say to myself but a girl that was on her phone before looks up smiling.
"oh my god i know" she's a blonde 20-something. "this place is freezing year round"
"do you come here often?" i say almost breathless. "i'm totally hitting on you" when i see her shocked expression i laugh it off and she lets her chest fall. she was caught on that one. "i'm joking, you're very pretty though". the girl blushes.
Girls need to help girls. Compliments also make people's days so why not grant that since i'm in such a good mood.
"aww thank you... so are you but i bet you get it all the time" she walks towards the elevators too and as soon as i press the button the doors open up and we walk in.
i smile knowingly. "never for the right reasons" i say quietly. my life never involved kind people, people who compliment your outfit, or your hair, or... you.
"what do you mean?"
"what floor?" i ask her later i press mine.
"12th" i press the 7 and 12.
"uhh, well... where i come from being pretty serves a very good tactical purpose. it's a very useful one, you could totally use it to your advantage. Women really have it made, girls who are smart and beautiful, they're unstoppable"
"There you're right. Where are you from?" she says intently.
"Spain" is the first lie that comes out of me, it's always the easiest one to believe.
"i can see that" she says smiling. Told you. "i'm from Florida, i'm studying journalism and i'm in an abroad program right now"
"oh that's interesting- oops that's me" i see the doors slide open on the 7th floor and i step out saying goodbye. What a nice clash with reality but it soon ends when i arrive at the door. Back to my world. i do not have my keycard on me. i knock endlessly on the door until Kaden opens. someone's glowing. "i lost my keycard so you might want to tell the front desk to deny it access" i step through and he closes the door.
"you lost the card? you can't tell by my calm expression but i really.... really want to strangle you right now"
"i have that effect on men" i grab a water bottle and drown half of it. "fill me in?" i change the topic and he lifts his eyebrows and calls the front desk to cancel the card. his hair is wet. Messy. A cigarette dances on his fingers. i watch him talk, distracted, vulnerable. that has an effect on me, i like to watch. i cross my legs when I sit on the bed and he hangs up, then pulls together a bunch of papers that were sitting on the nightstand.
"Don Asphel." he hands me the file and i look at a picture of a gray haired 57 year old man. "he's a sorry ass banker who makes the money transfers stay silent so that everyone can profit and not have to declare any income. he guards the bank accounts in the Swiss bank that both the russians and Jose use to keep money offshore, is anything to go awry. he's first. an incredibly boring man he stays home all the time. lives alone."
"You look happy" i note quietly reading the report that notes the man's daily routine. all he does is look at me from under his eyelashes from across the room.
"We're doing it tonight" he walks to me. "that's his house back there. It's a bit far off the road. Tonight might snow so we can't take the off-road route. He's got an alarm system that's pretty high-end. it's a 16-camera system from Automated Video Systems"
"Motion detectors?" I murmur looking at the report.
"Yeah... but that's as much security as he has. We have to break in, get the account numbers and codes so I can have someone wipe them clean. Only then can i kill him" i do not miss the constant use of 'i' but I assume it's because he wants to take the shot.
"i hope you're paying me for this" i keep reading the file. "i am after all unemployed" when i look at him he takes the file from my hands.
"I'll buy you dinner." His jaw hardens but his eyes turn darker. it's all about looking of the signs. not the words. a person could be saying something completely different to what they want to say. look at their body language. his hands have come down from their crossed position, his chin is higher, his shoulders are set apart, and his breaths are deep and long. he's relaxed, inviting. "i did promise you that"
I stand to my feet and i take his shirt in my hand to pull him to me, only to breathe against his neck slowly. Distracting him. We all know it's a hobby of mine. "i think it's best to do lunch" i whisper grazing my lips over his neck and laughing to myself. "tonight's gonna be complicated. right?" i plant a small kiss as i look up at him and open his hand to put the watch i snatched off his wrist on his hand. "you keep falling for that one" i say softly and head for the bathroom where i shower off my sweat from the run and the past couple of days. once out i put on one of the hotel bathrobes and blow dry my hair as much as i have the patience for. i go back into the room and reach for my bag but when i come up a hand slips around my waist and while my first instinct is to kill the owner of the hand i recognize the warm smell almost instantly.
"Remember how we agreed not to kiss anymore?" he talks agains my hair.
"You agreed to not kiss anymore" i remind him.
"well since it seems like i'm being taken advantage of.... either you agree to not kiss me again, or i'm going to take matters into my own hands"
"That sounds dangerous" i whisper and his hand slides over my shoulder and over my collarbones. i force his arm to let me turn around so i can finally face him. i look him into his hungry eyes and reach for his jaw. once i have it i reach up to meet his lips. in a rushed second he grabs me and throws me on the bed climbing on top of me like an animal. he kisses me hard and violently, reflecting clearly on who he is, and what he does. i wrap my leg involuntarily around his waist and his hand runs from my knee to my upper thigh. the one he shot trying to kill me. "ahh" i moan his finger slightly touches my wound. "my leg, you asshole" i remind him.
"Right. My bad" he smirks not apologizing for touching it but for making it in the first place. i thread my fingers on his hair and hold on to his lips for as long as i can register his hand on my skin, the firms of it, how it keeps me stable and grounded.
"Kaden" I try to stop him when he goes for my neck so that we can get out with our day and have that lunch I was promised. He doesn't listen. "kaden" I repeat smiling at the ticklish sensation of my nerves being hyperaware that his mouth is there. "i was promised lunch" my eyes close losing themselves again. he kisses my mouth again.
"you're not getting away next time" he warns with a low voice. i don't plan to.
-----------------------
The cold Russian fall deserves the only pair of boots i packed other than the heeled ones I always wear. These are knee length and I put on a very long t-shirt topped with a black coat. Spies are used to travel light, you never know how much stuff you'll have to leave behind and honestly, the faster you can run the better. However, assuming a cover ID usually requires you to dress the part and believe me appearances in this job ARE everything. i also carry a wig in my bag because my fake id requires it. It's a blonde bob with bangs which Kaden thinks is unnecessary. oh how easy it's to say he's never been a female operative before.
We walk to a Pizza place about four blocks southeast. Walking quickly among the people in the street and fully armed we both stride at a normal pace. Every so often we look over our shoulders. If anything is to happen i take the right Kaden takes the left because he's left handed. We'd assume a shoulder to shoulder position, a bull stance. Taking the walk beats the car because on foot we're much, much dangerous than running away. Once we make it there Kaden, speaking fluent Russian asks for a table for two.
"You saw the tail right?" i say quickly grabbing the menu.
"Yep" he sighs instantly looking at his. i smile to myself. Thinking before anything else the two men we saw were in for a long one and more importantly, had no idea of the violence and mayhem they were prepared to lay down. It's an Italian restaurant of all places so i go for Fettuccine with Carbonara, Kaden has Chicken Piccata . Might as well wave an American flag over his head.
For the first time in a very, very long time i talk to someone openly, lightly, and more importantly, honestly. "you draw?" he sounds amusingly shocked. The odd thing about this exchange is that he knows absolutely there is to know about me. At least those things that are apparent.
"i doodle. i think i would have been a painter. Had anything in my life worked out" i chuckle.
"I never figure that out. The art in your apartment? That yours?" he drinks his wine.
i bite my lip. This is embarrassing, it's much more comfortable when people assume i bought it and dismiss the idea. "you've broken into my apartment before. You've never seen the brushstrokes?"
"how-?" he squints his eyes.
"I notice when someone enters my apartment. Much more if the magnets on my fridge are not lined up parallel to the handle" i always keep notes on those magnets but for some reason i'm very strict on their alignment.
"i admit i didn't think you'd be that meticulous. i took a note, scanned it and put it back. The blue one was it?"
"yes, it was!" i say with certainty. i wouldn't forget. "i... i don't know much about you sincerely. i mean, apart from the unusual habit to mix shampoo and conditioner into the same bottle and the arguably unnutricious diet of milk and lettuce"
"i usually eat out" he defends the contents of his fridge then goes on to clarify his family tree to me. i already know most of it but every time the name chris pops up there is a palpable tension going across the table.
"i didn't know who he was" I whisper once i'm done eating and he watches as I finish my wine. he looks at me waiting for explanation but knows i don't have any. it doesn't change the fact that i killed his brother. i made him spiral down a rabbit hole i've been through too many times and one i wouldn't wish my enemies. "no one did. i didn't even know you were the director, Alex guided me through. if it serves any purpose... he didn't run away from me. he stayed. he battled through until.... well... you know" i swallow hard and watch as his fingers play with the neck of the glass. "i know it's not worth much but... i'm sorry. for your loss. for the pain it must have caused. i wouldn't wish that on anyone. and if you think i still deserve the punishment then you should know that i can't stop thinking about him. i've never had to deal with the aftermath of someone's dead body.... it's torturous" i let out a small sigh, his hand slowly playing with his lower lip. it had to be then when the waiter brings the check and Kaden takes out some cash and leaves it on the table, stands up and stretches out his hand for me to grab. confused, yet willing, i take it and follow him to the front lobby.
"You've been though enough Prowsypants." he smiles at me before opening the door to the cold noon air. "now, there's two guys following us. My money's on GRU. and there's an art museum around the corner that i'd like you to see. They have an original Van Gogh" he pulls me behind him. "go on my right."