Convocation & Birthday 1984
November 24, 1984
Prasanthi Nilayam
Dear Wonderful Peoples,
Facts of India: ladies wear pins to keep their saris in place (one, two, even three!). (I don’t, can’t see any reason to!)
#2: Indians don’t know how to eat with their fingers! Yes it’s true. They scoop up all their food in all their fingers, and it runs down their entire hand so they have great difficulty getting it in their mouth! no wonder I always had an easy time eating with my fingers – I do it differently! I eat with only two fingers and the thumb, that way it stays on the tips and doesn’t run at all. Clean fingers and just about as much food in the mouth as the sad, pitiful Indian way. Maybe I should start a fad… :-)
Soo much is happening around here! It’s all excitement and joy. We’re getting dizzy from all the Darshans; it’s wonderful!
The 21st was probably the “big end” to the Seva conference, although on the 24th there’s to be a farewell address and “Divine Blessings” to all the delegates. There’s rumor that Sai will do as He did at the Bal Vikas Teacher’s Conference last December: give all the ladies saris and let each one touch His Feet. I don’t know though, especially for us Americans who do such little seva.
People are really lucky who have dreams of Sai, and let me repeat what others have said, by saying that He does will them and it is really Him in them. How else could people who have never seen Sai, have dreams of Him and then when they do come to Puttaparthi, they find Sai to be exactly the same as in their dreams? The only difference is that here it’s like having dream of Sai, close and real, four or more times every day! That’s when you begin to think of Grace, it’s like a fantasy land, seeing Sai so much, experiencing Him, just unbelievable
22 November Thursday: Today is the “Convocation of Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning”. All Sai’s students are here: they all look super-clean, with neat short hair, dressed all in white and they look like pure angels. Their whole life is serving God and loving Sai completely. What a nation India will be when Sai’s boys will run the country! Already many are in positions of “power” and are influencing all around.
Anyhow I of course came at 7:15 AM to get a semi-good seat in the Poornachandra for the convocation celebrations at 10 AM. 26th row, but that’s my fault for not coming earlier. :-)
Sai appeared in a beautiful, shiny silk white robe! He looked beautiful for His boys, who think of Him as the Divine Mother. Sai radiated love and warmth and beauty itself! He is so kind and totally compassionate to His students, no wonder they’re so devoted and pure!
I was near Sai’s walking path so I could see Him really well. A band was playing, marching in front of Him (and in back of Him) into the hall, tall men in uniforms and huge instruments, and little white-robed Divine Mother Sai in the middle – what a scene to behold!!
Sai went on stage and sat in the middle chair of seven throne-like red chairs on stage. Several vice-chancellors and people like that there filled the other chairs. Then, one by one, the students were called up and given their degrees. For each and every one, the band played as the student went on stage. Baba Himself handed each their degree, a certificate, and then stood by each on as a picture was taken. Then the students fell at Sai’s feet. For the best all-around male student, Sai created a ring on stage for him.
After all that (loud clapping accompanied each degree given – what love abounded!), Sai slowly left the stage. As He was coming up the walkway towards me, I was just enjoying it all and thinking how beautiful, beautiful Sai looked in His white robe. He suddenly turned towards me and gave the sweetest look, as if saying, “You’re enjoying this aren’t you, you really like seeing me in this robe?” I answered Him in my mind, “Yes! You look sooo nice!”
Out of Poornachandra by lunch, then back at 4 PM for bhajans at 5:30 PM. Got in 20th row, pretty good! (16th or 17th would-be excellent – remember, bhajans singers and VIPs are in the first 15-20 rows, depending on the crowd).
Sai entered and walked around the hall, giving Darshan. I had your letters with me, Sis and Mom. Was 4th person away from His walking path, about the farthest away you can get away with handing a letter to Him. I was thinking, only if He looked my way or made the first move, would I offer the letters.
He slowly came nearer…I got the letters ready. He looked my way. I gave Him a questioning stare, “Will you take these letters?” He glanced at me as soon as I thought that thought; then again; then again! (Like He had just seen this person looking at Him oddly!) Then He looked again at me, staring this time, giving an expression that clearly said, “What is it you want?? You have such a questioning look!” It was so funny! I almost broke out laughing at this Play. But guess what?? He walked right on past without reaching for the letters! Soooo-rry peoples, no banana! But it was a beautiful piece of Grace anyway!
In that moment, and this morning with the white robe incident, Sai was the Friend and Comrade, personal and chummy. So many faces does God have!!! You truly experience many of them, here in Sai Baba land…
Bhajans started (Sai left then came back as the 2nd bhajan started). Sai came out during the song “Guru Nanaka Ji Ki Jai Jai Kar,” it’s sung here with such intensity, the atmosphere is almost unreal. Everyone was singing so loudly and the place was soo completely charged that Sai appeared right in the middle of it and stayed for the rest of the bhajans.
Afterwards, there was a cultural program. Afterwards, He joined them on stage for pictures. After pictures everyone just fell at His feet, like bees to a hive. Indian tradition! On these festival times Sai sure has a lot of people falling at His feet! On stage, He tried in vain to say, “No, no!” and get them up; He tried to move away and everything, but wherever He went, there the bees dived!
Another full, beautiful Sai day; a fitting end. Now excitement rises as the hour of the Birthday approaches…
The Birthday! Moan, got up late. See, on normal days you go to the Mandir, or temple, at 4:30 AM. This is Sai’s living quarters (one room on the top floor that is). The bottom floor has a small interview room on one side and the rest is a large room (the bhajan hall), that seats around 400. The routine is, each morning you circle the entire Mandir, saying prayers. It’s like a meditation, here you are circling where the Lord lives. Then, you line up to get into the Mandir to sit for Omkar (chanting OM 21 times). Only the first 7 or 8 lines will fit in.
So, here it is the Birthday and I arrive at around 4 AM. Forget it, the place already had around 50-60 long, long lines. Solid people going around the Mandir, they weren’t letting anyone else go in! Bummer, can’t even circle Sai’s House on His Birthday.
Well, no problem. Sai never appears in the morning anyway. So, after Omkar, at 5 AM Nagarsankirtin beings. That’s when we sing in lines, all around the ashram grounds. I'm talking mass people. By a twist of fate, I was happily recruited as a volunteer to control the crowds. (I had been wanting to do this kind of seva, but it’s pretty well known that here only Indians can do it. But Sai let me do it on His Birthday!)
Us volunteers held hands and formed a gate, so no one could cut in the middle of the sankirtin. The lines were already at least half a city block (eight people across), and during the singing huge crowds followed us, until it seemed like our “gates” (one on each side) were in the middle of the mass of people. But it was fun!
After Nagarsankirtin, I dashed to the Poornachandra and got about in the 3rd line from the door – a great place! It was about 5:30 AM and the program was to start at 9:30 AM. So we just waited until 9 AM, when the entire area was solid people, just totally packed around our area. I'm talking at least 40,000 all around one door. And me in front – luckily!
The doors opened, and people surged forward, even though more doors were supposed to be opened first. We in front attempted to say, “No, no! Stop!” But no banana, everybody was completely mushed against each other and people were already falling on the deep steps that lead to the door, as the crowd surged forward. So we went in, one mad rush. I left before it got bad. This story was different for the night program though, unfortunately…
Because I was in the Poornachandra, I missed the entire Sai-parade around the ashram grounds, with Sai Geeta (Baba’s elephant). See, Sai is smart. He grants everyone Darshan, whether you get in or not, and wherever you may be.
Sai finally arrived – in a faded orange robe! Not even special red or white like usual. Rumor was that He didn’t like the behavior of His devotees getting into the Poornachandra – pushing and shoving, a mob scene, with no thoughts of others.
Anyway, they had this huge, huge blue velvet chair that Sai had to traditionally sit in on His Birthday – He looked sooo funny, like a tiny munchkin! Ha, ha! Baba in Wonderland!! But I just had this overwhelming feeling, here was Father Sai and all His children in the hall. We were all together at the feet of the Father of All.
Sai sat in the chair for bhajans then they brought out His desk. Some other guy gave a talk then Sai gave His wonderful discourse. After the discourse, Sai gave 10 hundred thousand rupees (?) from His Central Trust, to be used in the various states of India in the huge village-adoption projects.
After that, what a day! Sai Himself (to the front 10 or so rows), and some of His college boys distributed laddu sweets to all! Every single person there got one! You should’ve seen the tons and tons of containers the boys brought out, packed with the yellowish round laddus. The scene of Sai gleefully tossing laddus to all in the front rows is etched on my memory! He’d toss the laddu waaaaay up in the air, and they would land perfectly on target. On and on, until He was still near the 1st row but was tossing to the 5th and 6th rows, what a sight! Every now and then He’d stop and shake a finger at someone, “Only one!”
It was over at 11:30 AM, so we all went back to the Jr. College for lunch and rest. Sai was to visit the shrine of his parents (where they’re buried) then lay the foundation stone for a huge planetarium building.
Imagine this: the busiest scene you can imagine, totally and completely solid people. Now imagine this on a one-way dirt road, with several feet of roadside on each side. Now, imagine a huge bus with an ear-piercing horn, honking constantly, as the bus makes its way through the crowd. Now, a taxi stuffed with people honks crazily and speeds up, somehow passing the bus. Behind the taxi speeds three motor scooters all in a row, another taxi, another scooter. People are forced into the road sides, where you have to be careful because its used as a bathroom. See it? This is the scene I witnessed as I walked to the Jr. College at noon. Welcome to Puttaparthi village on Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba’s Birthday!
I was planning to leave at 1 or 1:30 PM to line up by the Poornachandra for the Jhula (Baba-on-a-Swing) Darshan, but somehow was dumb enough to put it off till 2:45 PM (remember, the function starts at 6:30 PM): BIG BIG Mistake. I got there and the place was totally packed with people. I had no choice but to join the general Indian population, right in the middle. Soon I was in the middle of a mass of Indian devotees, way too many that would be able to fit in the Poornachandra. Because I was a foreigner, I was assured a place near the front (well, after the 1st 1/3 of the hall, anyway), but the trouble was getting in.
Finally, at around 5:30 PM they opened the one door. What followed totally and completely proved that the people I had talked to were right: the Seva Dal delegates were pussycats, extremely well behaved, compared to your normal Indian devotes.
When the door was first opened, all three sides around the door (remember this is one big mass of people) pushed to get in. I was pushed and shoved. After 10 seconds, the entire crowd had surged forward and everyone’s body was completely mushed up against all others around it. It was just exactly like being a wave on a sea. Because I didn’t push also, I just got swished where the crowd went. Whoosh, this way; whoosh, that way. It looked like I’d never get to the door!
There was a tree nearby, I struggled to not get pushed into it. Whoosh, one side of the tree; whoosh, other side. Finally we got nearer to the door. A branch from the tree had fallen on me; it had thorns. I was holding it, around 3 ft long, wondering where to put it! If I drop it, someone (or many someones!) would get hurt because everyone was barefoot. I couldn’t throw it anywhere; there were people smushed against each other much farther back than I could throw. I don’t remember what I finally did with it; I think I must’ve attempted to get it near the tree.
Anyhow, we finally got pushed and shoved rather violently near the door. I began to hear screams and crying. I saw mothers holding up their terrified, crying babies and youngsters. No one listened, all they wanted was to get in and if it meant pushing aside a mother and baby, fine. I saw crying woman struggling to get out of the crowd, but it was completely impossible. No one could get out, we were all stuck.
I began to have trouble breathing, because I was so completely pushed up against everyone around me. I stood on tiptoes and it helped greatly. I hoped others would do the same, and wouldn’t get hurt from lack of lungpower. As the door came into view, the steps did too. There are three large (high) steps leading up to the door. I saw people lying in the middle of the steps, crying and screaming. The crowd didn’t care; they pressed on. But it only caused more to fall. WHAT A MESS!
It was out of control. No one could stop it. One lady had her legs pinned down by the crowd, half her body on the steps. The volunteers who were attempting to control the crowds were trying to get her out as the crowd surged forward, to no avail. One other lady had fallen then fainted on the steps and had been pulled out.
It came to me as I saw this horrid sight: how terrible that this has to happen in than ashram, in God's ashram! This is the kind of thing that happens at crazy rock concerts, not Prasanthi Nilayam, the abode of the highest peace! But no. This kind of thing can happen anywhere, anytime, huge crowds, no matter who, get uncontrollable. No stopping it.
I began to worry. How to get on the steps without falling or tripping? I wanted to just leave, get out, but no one could. As I said, everyone was stuck and would just have to bear it. Luckily, I made it over the steps and inside unhurt. Thank Baba. I couldn’t really gotten hurt, who knows how many others were.
An experience. Anyway, I got in, in my pretty much normal seat: 25th row, 3rd from Center. (The nearer to the center, the better the view because the less devotees you have to look over to see the stage.)
After the woman got in, the men came in on their side – one huge stampede. Just awful, horrid. After ¾ of the hall was filled, the general Indian population stampeded in. At that point Sai Baba appeared on the stage. And He just watched. His appearance calmed it down a little, but not much. He stayed for a few minutes, just watching with an expression on His face that said, “Oh me, oh my, what can I do? This is such a mess.” He at one point put both His hands up, “Down, down, calm down!” But it also seemed like He was saying, “You act this way but I will love and forgive you always.” After He left disaster began again. Moan.
Finally everyone was settled. The Poornachandra was full and the huge crowds that didn’t get in were getting restless outside. Volunteers opened a few more of the large doors so some of the devotees could see in but they didn’t open them all for fear of devotee break-ins. At each open door they had 10-20 volunteers to control the crowds, blocking the doors.
Bhajans began. Sai didn’t come out at all for them, which is extremely unusual. After bhajans, His unused chair and the huge silver life-size idol of Shirdi Sai Baba were pulled offstage (fun to watch!). Then, Sai’s swing (Jhula) was pulled onstage! Imagine His huge swing being dragged onstage – above the ground – by a whole army of white-clad men.
Then after everything was set up, Sai appeared, in the same faded rob He had on this morning.
Then M.S. Subhalakshmi appeared with her band. Sai just kinda was looking around at us and at the open doors: seva volunteers with tons of devotees attempting to peek through to get a glimpse of Kali Avatar.
When everything was set up, Sai hopped in the swing! Two devotees, one on each side, pushed the swing (how would you like to do that!). What a sight, Sai in the swing! Forgive the lack of words, putting the Sai experience here into limited words is very difficult.
There He swung in the Jhula as the concert went on, with His elbow resting on a pillow and His legs on the Jhula just like in the pictures. Here was the Father of all, and the whole hall - all His children – were staring at the concrete form with eager eyes. Meanwhile…
I tried not to look around when commotion was heard from the different sides of the hall. I wanted to keep my eyes on Sai, but I did look a few times. These things all happened while Sai was on the Jhula.
Once, on the ladies side the 3rd door was surged through by the general Indian population outside. The volunteers were moved like toothpicks on an ocean. Finally, after many had gotten in (even though the hall was already filled to capacity, with people sitting just a few feet from the door), the crowds were controlled (somehow) and the huge door was rolled down. That worried me because that could only mean more crowds at the other doors.
At another point, the same thing happened on the men’s side, except worse. It was one of the last doors and they just poured in. The poor volunteers! After a few minutes, the whole back section was standing, perhaps to give the extra people room so the sitting ones wouldn’t get crushed. I looked to Sai, and there He was swinging in the Jhula, halfway looking at the mess. What a sight – Sai looking with a mean look on His face at His undisciplined devotees, all struggling to see Sai.
Throughout the concert, there were microphone problems. Now and then the mike would go – screeech! - or be too low. Sai would look over, “What is it now??” Then to His crowds, “You’re all bad, bad children.” A friend of mine said she looked through binoculars at Sai’s face and used the word “furious” to describe it. Moan, groan.
People said that last year He was so “angry” at the crowds that He only stayed on the swing 5 or 10 minutes; lucky for us this time He stayed on around 30 minutes, but all the while a “Bad, bad children” look. How embarrassing to be a part of all this!
But how great to be able to see Him swinging on His swing! :-)
It was over by 8 PM. Fireworks outside afterwards.
I apologize for any boredom I may have caused you with this loooong letter.
Om Sri Sai Ram!
Prema,
Eileen