Well, this is it guys! But is it really...?
Like I said in the last chapter, I have great news to tell you. But first, let me start with saying that I changed my mind and there will not be a 2-part epilogue for this fic. I'm sorry but I feel like the end of this chapter will be good enough to end it anyway. Good news is that THIS IS ONLY ONE BOOK IN THE 3-PART KYLUX SERIES I DECIDED TO TORTURE MYSELF WITH BY WRITING. I'm freaking obsessed and as you see, I'm not really stopping myself lmao. I plan to get started on the 2nd fic as soon as I wrote the outline for it, which will probably be sometime at the middle of next month. I am over thrilled to write it. But I'm gonna miss writing this plot line though. I've really enjoyed writing this a lot guys. I'm going to be a wreck writing the last chapter of the third book. Thanks to all my lovely, supportive readers, I couldn't have gotten this far without y'all. Long live Kylux! -staygoldstiles
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The car ride home was filled with silence. Ben and Hux had decided before that they'd go to Ben's dorm because Ben had received a text from Rey immediately after they left the Cheesecake Factory, with Rey telling him that she was staying over at Poe's dorm with Finn. Hux believed that the drama sorority house would be crowded possibly. So they drove home in Hux's car, with Ben resting his chin on his palm as he stared out the window. Hux kept his right hand in Ben's thigh the whole way.
Even the weather matched the atmosphere. It had started to rain, drizzle really, but it still matched the overall mood. Ben knew he was being ungrateful but still, he hated with a passion what just happened to him, but as usual, he was grateful to have Hux there with him.
When they'd gotten to the building, Hux parked and they got out of the car. He smoothly slipped his hand into Ben's as Ben pulled his keys out of his pocket with the other hand. They walked up the stairs and Ben unlocked the door, walking Hux in.
Ben sighed, pulling off his jacket and putting it on the coat-hanger. He watched Hux do the same as Ben flopped onto his bed, lying on his back. Hux watched him. "Don't be upset, Ben." He walked over to the bed, then he pulled him self on top of it and mirrored Ben's position, lying down next to him. "Your dad seemed like a nice guy at least."
Ben nodded. "I guess. But that's beyond the point. I'm... even though Han decided to want to be nice to me, I'm still not over what happened with my mum. It's just... and then in front of you... she's just ridiculous. I'm so sorry you had to see that."
"Don't be sorry or embarrassed. Yeah, your mum, she's... something. But don't worry about it, please."
"How could I not worry about it?" Ben threw his hands in the air as a lack of understanding. "She humiliated me... in front of you, to make things worse. And then she's all... homophobic, which is awful, honestly. I didn't know she was."
"Ben, Ben, shhh. It's okay, really. I said don't be embarrassed. Nothing that happens to you that isn't in your control could make me think of you any differently. Even with your family." Hux rolled over into his side so he could meet Ben's brown eyes. Ben did the same.
"I believe you." Ben said simply. Hux reached out his hand and Ben took it, lightly playing with Hux's fingers.
Ben thought for a minute. He knew that this was a perfect opportunity to do what he wanted to do. He felt like Hux would want to do it as well.
So he decided the perfect way to tell Hux what he wanted to do was say, "Ruin me."
Hux moved his eyes away from his and Ben's hands, looking back into Ben's eyes. He raised an eyebrow. Then he smirked. "Okay," He said, and he happily obliged to Ben's wish.
And there it was. The kiss that Ben has been waiting for. Ben closed his eyes and listened as Hux moved his body on top of Ben's, then kissed him on the mouth softly. Ben kissed back, enjoying it very much. He moved his hand up to the short hairs at the back of Hux's neck, moving his other onto Hux's chest. Hux moaned, biting Ben's bottom lip, asking for entrance. Ben hissed at the surprisingly enjoyable feeling of the pain, and he let Hux in. Hux's tongue snaked quickly through Ben's lips, exploring Ben's mouth.
Ben soon felt himself being pulled by Hux, who thrust him to the wall next to Ben's nightstand. Hux took his tongue out of Ben's mouth, pausing for a breather. Ben took a deep breath, unbelieving of what he was doing. He felt... rebellious in a way. He felt like what he was doing with Hux was correct wrongdoing. Bittersweet and awfully good.
Ben and Hux continued to make out against the wall furiously. Ben reached out for the top of Hux's button down and he started to unbutton it bit by bit. Hux pulled away when Ben was around halfway through, breathing heavily. "Oh, to hell with that!" He remarked, stripping off his shirt with none of the buttons popping off. Ben looked at him with awe and lust.
Then Ben started to unbutton his own button down while Hux leaned against the wall, smirking. He got halfway down again and Hux pulled off Ben's shirt, tossing it to the ground. He stared at Ben's slightly visible 6-pack (which Ben honestly couldn't remember how he got, he was just proud he had it). "Dammit, you're so hot." Hux said, and Ben didn't even blush. He felt confident.
So he then said, "We both know you want more..." And he drawled off, mostly because he was out-of-breath but he hoped it sounded hot enough.
Hux then pushed him back against the wall, pressing his lips to Ben's quickly. He thrust his hips against him. Ben widened his eyes in shock for a second, but then he got into the swing of things and moved along with Hux's body as they made out.
Hux then led Ben back to the bed, leaning him over it as they refused to cease their avid kissing. Hux's taste was sweet, and Ben couldn't help feeling turned on when he opened his eyes and noticed Hux's usually well-kept, neat red hair start to slowly fall in front of his face. The bangs started to fall in front of his face first, but soon enough, all of his hair was messy.
Ben traced his fingers over Hux's slight abs as well, relishing the slight toning. Then he traced his finger over Hux's back, feeling his strong, supple bones and muscles he had gained by doing cardio. Throughout all of this, the two were still making out, their tongues in each other's mouths.
That's when Hux broke off the kiss to move his mouth down to Ben's collarbone, which he bit. Ben hissed softly, moaning soon after. Then Hux slowly moved his mouth up to the sensitive skin on Ben's neck, which he nipped at slightly. Ben squeaked ever so softly, and Hux shushed him, saying, "Shh, shh shh, Ben, don't you enjoy it?"
"Of course I do." He said, panting. And he did. But it hurt. Pleasurably. Ben realized that that was how it was supposed to be like, and he was glad that he was doing it with Hux. Having no experience whatsoever, Ben still found the feeling to be irresistible.
Hux nipped the area right above Ben's pecs, his red hair dragging across Ben's collarbone as Ben writhed ever so slightly, sighing and groaning pleasingly. Ben didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to resist temptation, so he dragged himself from underneath Hux and started to unbutton Hux's trousers. Hux grinned boyishly, laughing slightly.
Ben unzipped Hux's fly and his trousers fell off Hux's legs, sliding to the ground in a heap. Hux looked down at his green boxers (which Ben thought really brought out his eyes) and then looked back at Ben, smirking again. "I guess it's my turn, then." He said naughtily, and in no time, Ben's jeans were off his legs and on the floor messily, right next to Hux's pants.
Hux started to laugh. Ben felt confused for a moment, then he looked down at his boxers. He was wearing his favorite Superman boxers, having forgotten he was wearing them. "Ben, oh my god, I love them." Hux said, and then before Ben could say anything, Hux was right back on top of him, in mouth-to-mouth combat.
They went on like that for another 2 minutes, with Ben having an erection and knowing Hux could feel it. Ben could tell that Hux also had a boner, and it was leaning onto his. But what Ben knew to be the truth is that both of them were too tired to have physical sex. And Ben was okay with that. He felt like they'd do it anyway sometime soon in the future. He was satisfied with what Hux and he had done.
Then Ben let go and Hux rolled off from on top of him, looking up on the ceiling. They were both in the position that they had started in when they went inside Ben's dorm, the only difference is that they were stripped down to their briefs, both of their hair was very messy and they were both breathing raggedly and covered in each other's sweat.
Ben turned his head to Hux, asking him the question he'd been waiting to tell him. "What's your sexuality?" He managed to formulate a question that Hux could understand.
Hux turned to him. "I'm definitely bi." He said simply. Ben raised an eyebrow. "What, I can't keep my heterosexual childhood crushes?" Hux asked jokingly, and Ben laughed.
"No, no, it's not that. I'm actually bi, too. For the same reasons." Ben said, and he was telling the truth. "And it's also because I still miss Ellen." He added quickly.
Hux nodded. "I understand. I completely feel you. Like, there's something about girls that's different with guys, even when you're bisexual, and it comes with the sex appeal, honestly."
Ben wondered if Hux had more sexual experience than he was letting on. He was fantastic at giving Ben sexual pleasure but he wondered if he and Kate were the only ones, or if there were more. "I miss the taste of her mouth."
"Bingo. Girls are better kissers than guys."
"No, no, no, that's not what I was trying to say, Brendol!" Ben said, and Hux started to laugh. "Hey, was there anyone before me and Kate? Like, crushes, kisses, et cetera?"
"Well, yeah, actually. I used to, well, it's embarrassing saying this now, but I fucked around with girls a lot when I was in high school. But it never went to anything beyond kissing. As for crushes, I've only felt attraction toward girls, I've never liked a guy before." Hux paused. "I mean, not until like, a couple weeks ago."
Ben blushed, and Hux reached over to pinch his cheek. "Yeah, actually, Ellen was my first and only until you."
"I find that to be an honour, actually. We were both virgins when we met each other."
Ben decided not to respond to that. He knew that he and Hux were still virgins, sort of. The thing they did wouldn't be considered as sex to most, so Ben still considered him and Hux to still be virgins.
Ben said, "I'm pretty exhausted, actually. And Rey isn't coming back until tomorrow afternoon. So I'm thinking that maybe, maybe you could stay over?"
"Yes, definitely. I'll just reuse my clothes from tonight when I leave tomorrow. Should I shower?"
"Tonight?"
"Yeah."
"Nah, to be honest, I don't think so." Ben dragged off a corner of the sheets, thinking Hux would get the hint. He gestured to it with his chin.
Hux smiled. Ben smiled back and he crawled into his bed (which was luckily a queen-size, so he and Hux could both fit in). Hux did the same, lifting up the covers and crawling into the bed on Ben's right.
"Well," Hux started. "Have you forgotten about everything with your mother now? Are you now perfectly 'ruined'?"
It was Ben's turn to smirk. "Mostly. I'm certainly satisfied, if that's what you're asking me. You basically know everything about me now, Brendol. And I'm happy about that."
Hux smiled lightly and shifted in bed so he was lying on his back like Ben. He looked up to the ceiling and after a moment, turned his head back to Ben and said, "Isn't this what you've always wanted?"
"What do you mean?" Ben shifted into his side so he could look straight at Hux.
"You know, like, to have a relationship where we could see inside of each other and know exactly who the other person was just by looking at them. Where neither of us have secrets. It's a magnificent feeling, and I don't want it to ever go away. Do you feel the same way, Ben? Isn't it what you've always needed, because honestly, it's what I always needed."
Ben felt touched. That feeling Hux had elaborately described, Ben knew what it was and he knew that he felt it. So he asked Hux, "Is that what we have?"
"You tell me."
"Yeah. That's what we have, I think so." Ben felt like it was a stupid answer.
Then Hux shifted his body so he could directly face Ben. He brought his hands up to Ben's face and cupped his hands around it. "I hope that's what we have."
"I don't have anything to hide from you, Brendol." Ben lightly smiled and began to blush again.
Hux returned the smile and said, "And I don't have anything to hide from you, Ben." He shifted his body so he could lie down on his back again, and Ben took the opportunity to shimmy into the crook of Hux's arm and lay his head on top of Hux's bare chest. Then, just like the afternoon after the party, Hux began to stroke Ben's hair.
While he leaned into Hux's touch once more, Ben relived all of his and Hux's memories together. When he first walked into Snoke's classroom and Ben first laid eyes on him. When the two of them first started speaking to each other. The theatre scenes they did together as partners. When Hux invited Ben to the party. When Hux took care of Ben when he was hurt. The kisses on the cheek. Ben's scene partner's friend Aaliyah shipping them. When Hux invited Ben to Starbucks. Their shared love over Game of Thrones. The way that when Hux drove, he held onto Ben's thigh. When Ben invited Hux to the Cheesecake Factory. When Ben thought that all hope between him and Hux were lost, and then Hux came and restored it.
Hux. The look of him. His ginger hair. His fantastic outfits. His kindness and respect toward others. His sense of responsibility, authority and duty. The way he could turn Ben on by just a simple wink.
And by thinking about this, Ben realised he loved Hux. He felt like his knew it himself, so he had to find out if he felt the same way.
Ben looked up at Hux and said, "Brendol, if we're going to be completely honest in this relationship, I thought you should know this about me. I love you. I honestly really do. I am crazy, ridiculously, stupidly in love with you and I'm not embarrassed to say it. And I was wondering if you feel the same way about me. Do you love me, Brendol?"
Hux stopped stroking Ben's hair and looked him in the eyes again, cupping his face in his hands one more time. He smiled lightly and sweetly, and replied, "Does it really need saying, Ben?"
Ben didn't know who leaned in for the kiss first, maybe they both leaned in at the same time. But next thing he knew, Hux's lips were on his again, and Ben was smiling through the kiss.
And that's when Ben knew the training wheels on their relationship had been pulled off.
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"I love everything you do,
When you call me fucking dumb
for the stupid shit I do,
I wanna ride my bike with you,
Fully undressed,
No training wheels left for you,
I'll pull them off for you."
- "Training Wheels",
a song by Melanie Martinez
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THE END