Me: *walks into the house all hot and sweaty, expected to immediately be cooled down, only to be greeted with warmer air, as she completely forgot that there was no air conditioning* *mutters to self* We wants it; we needs it! Must have an air conditioner!
Myself: Well, at least it's down to eight seven in the house and not eighty eight like it was earlier!
I: Only one degree cooler. Doesn't help much.
Gollum: We are dying, Precious, we are!
Darth Vader: At least you're not trapped in a black suit. (-_-)
Elisabeth: Ugh... I'm sweating like a hippo!
Thranduil and Thorin: *raise an eyebrow*
Thorin: Isn't it 'pig' and nor 'hippo'?
Elisabeth: It is, but it makes no sense! Pigs DON'T have sweat glands!!! Meaning they can't sweat. Pigs. Don't. Sweat. Pigs. Cannot. Sweat. But hippos sweat is thick and red (or orange) and acts like a sunscreen.
Eruwaedhiel: Human expressions confuse me sometimes. Why do they use the term 'blind as a bat'? Bats are not really blind. They simply cannot see as well in the dark, just like humans. If you want to use such an expression, you should go with 'blind as an olm'!
Thranduil: An olm? What in Middle-Earth is that?
Eruwaedhiel: A cave dwelling salamander that lives in Europe on Earth. And it has a lifespan of 100 years!
I: Yeah yeah, okay, people aren't reading this to learn, ya know!
Elisabeth: Aww... but now y'all have me thinking about animals! Did you know that a lion can hold all its body weight with one claw?
Fili: Lions are awesome.
Me: People back on Earth say that you look a lot like a lion, and I have to agree!
Kili: So... we have fans back on Earth?
Elisabeth: Oh my, yes! Tons of fans!
Thorin: Yet they know nothing of our actual existence?
Me: Nope. Although you technically still don't exist. Well, you do to me. You're my imaginary friends.
Darth Vader: *mumbles* Sadly.
Me: I heard that Ani!
Darth Vader: I. Am. Not. ANAKIN!!!
Me: You keep saying it, but that doesn't change anything!
Elisabeth: *yawns* Ugh, this heat is awful for my usual hyperness. It makes me tired, and I can't be hyper if I'm tired!
Me: *yawns* Yeah... this is supposed to make people laugh.
I: *sings* PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS DANCING ON RAINBOWS!
Everyone: *groans* PLEASE do NOT sing THAT!!!!!!!!!