"I hated it. Alone and confused was the last place I wanted to be.
Somehow I knew I deserved this."
—Brian Kans
4
Twisting
Turning
Heavy breaths
Sighs
Staring at the ceiling, he realized that silence really has a sound, probably even louder than noise.
The kiss.
Sure he has kissed a lot. Men, women, older ones, younger. So why does that kiss still bother him? The answer is something Vice couldn't figure out as well. Well maybe because he's not as drunk and as high as he usually gets when he did it. But shouldn't that bother him more? He kissed a stranger, not just a stranger, but a woman. He kissed a beautiful woman when in fact he was not dead drunk at all.
And there it was, that strange feeling he has surely already felt before. The same fast pumping of his heart, he could feel his blood gushing all over his body. What was that? Was it still the alcohol? Why is he feeling it. He swore years ago to never ever fall into that pit hole anymore, but right now, it seems his heart is disobeying him... Again.
His phone suddenly rang ceasing the silence that is swallowing him. He checked it, it was Vhong.
Vice: Hello?
Vhong: San ka?
Vice: Room.
Vhong: Okay ka lang? Kailangan mo ng kausap?
Vice: I'm exhausted. I just want to sleep.
Vhong: Okay. But if ever you need me, 2217 yung room number namin ha?
Vice: Okay. Thank you, Vhong. Sorry ulit kanina. And congrats again.
Vhong: Thanks brad. No worries. Di mo kasalanan. By the way, umuwi na sila tito, baka lang gusto mong malaman.
Vice: baliw. Sige na matutulog na ko. Baka maging kamukha na kita kakapuyat ko. Bye.
And there he is. The usual him. Trying to make a joke out of every situation. He could've asked for someone to talk to but he didn't. He knows everybody has moved on and he doesn't want to burden people with his own issue. The issue of moving on.
Maybe that's the reason why he hated constancy. It takes his mind off of his reality, the problems he actually has to face. He loves his job so much because it gives him the chance to be in different cities everyday, different people to work with, different looks, different styles. Nothing should stay the same. Nothing is constant. He wants everything fast paced, not minding how his time is passing by him.
But the real question is, was he really happy? Has he ever been happy? Sure he has felt it once in a while. He has laughed with friends and such, but the deepest kind of happiness? That kind where when you finally go to bed at night, no matter where you are, you could smile because you feel complete and contented with life. That kind where you no longer feel a hole in your heart, a missing wing, that feeling of emptiness. Inspite of all his fame and success, he has never felt that purest joy.
And that's what he feel. Empty. He has put up a strong face for quite a while now, and there are times like this that he wanted to be weak, he wished he had a shoulder to cry on, he wished he had someone to catch him but when he turn around there was always nobody. Sure, Vhong has always talked him about his availability for him but is he Vhong's responsibility? Especially now that he just got married, he could no longer just drag his cousin out of the country and go to different bars just to 'feel the night'.
That little emotional talk he had with a girl he just met a while ago was something he knew he needed once in a while. She felt familiar, like she is an old friend. And it scared him. Then the kiss happened. A scab from his past was reopened. He felt the pain, the sacrifice, the sufferings. Then he chickened out. Then he left. Then he felt lonely again.
Morning came by so slow. His twistings and turnings never stopped. His 3 hour slumber was not enough and he could really not sleep so he decided to just get up and grab breakfast with the newly weds and the other guests who stayed. He wore his black board shorts and white sando, he had his messy 'I just woke up hair', no make up with his huge flashy sunglasses on. He couldn't bother what he looks like right now, not with the massive headache he is having. Then he was reminded of the huge possibility of bumping into Karylle again.
Just act normal, he told himself.
When he entered the hotel's lounge area where free breakfasts and lunch are usually held, Anne was already staring at him.
"Baks, good morning naman! Anong sumapi sayo?" Takang tanong nito. Being the stylist that he is, hindi ito lumalabas ng bahay na mukhang hindi naligo, he always make sure na malinis siyang tignan.
"Fuck this headache that I have. Wag ka muna mang-inis Ngangabu ha?" Sabi ni Vice.
"Panong di sasakit yan, malamang hangover, pumuslit ka pa ng tequila sa bar ha! Alam mo bang bawal yon?" Singit ni Vhong.
"I paid for it. May pain reliever kayong dala? Ang sakit talaga." Casual na sabi nito.
"Oo talaga. Sana inubos mo na rin yung isang buong bote para sa ospital ka na lang dumiretso, dun may pain reliever dun." Sermon ni Vhong.
"Blah blah blah. Bawas bawasan mo pagsama sa tatay ko ha? You're starting to sound like him." Asar ni Vice.
"Anne, darling!" Sabi ng isang magandang babae na lumapit sa table nila Anne. Vice stared at her and he was, again, reminded of the reason behind his lack of sleep. She looked like her. Only older and more confident than she is.
"Mama Z! Hope you're enjoying the place! Thank you for staying over." Yakap naman ni Anne sa kaniyang Tita.
"Basta para sa'yo! As much as I want to stay longer and celebrate with you guys, I already talked to your Mom, I have to go na. I have a meeting pa with the network executives of ABS later this afternoon. I'll see you in Manila na lang anak ha?"
"Sure Mama. Ingat po kayo. Thank you po ulit."
"Welcome!" She smiled and she looked at the table hoping she would see her daughter and at least get a chance to talk to her.
"Uhm, wh-where's—"
"K left early, very early actually. I'll call her, Tita, pagagalitan ko. Don't worry, I'm sure she's safely home now." She assured.
"Thank you Annie. Vhong, ikaw na bahala dito ha? Anne, don't worry about your honeymoon leave, we already fixed your schedule. Gift na namin yun sayo ng Mama Luisa mo." She said.
Anne is a famous actress and a performer in the Philippines. Isa siya sa mga pinakasikat at pinakahinahangaan na showbiz royalty. Lima silang magpipinsan in the Padilla clan at lahat ay hinahangaan ng marami. Anne, Ana and Arianne, ang nga panganay, they are called the Heiress of Showbiz dahil silang tatlo lang naman ang malamang na magmamana ng PEC, ang biggest film and music producing company sa bansa. Anne's younger sister, Jasmine, is an actress too but she chose the indie film industry. Her cousin, Zia, Karylle's youngest sister is a singer and a performer. Karylle's other sister, Coco, is a famous artist, a painter, photographer and a musician as well. And their other cousin, Arianne, is a local celebrity and a famous print ad model. Karylle used to be a theater actress and a singer, she had already released an album but because of one turn of event, she chose to turn her back on her passion, hid from the famous light of the Padilla clan and just stayed low-key for three years now.
Karylle
That name sparked an intense curiousity on Vice's mind.
"Babe can I borrow your phone, tawagan ko lang si K. Alam mo ba pinuntahan ko siya sa room niya kanina, walang sumasagot, kung hindi ko pa siya hinanap sa reception hindi ko malalaman na nakaalis na pala siya. At take note madaling araw pa umalis!" Patuloy na kwento ni Anne.
"Madaling araw? Eh nakainom yun kagabi eh!" Biglang react ni Vice. Napatingin naman ang dalawa sa kaniya.
"Magkasama kayo kagabi?" Tanong ni Anne.
"H-ha? H-hindi. Ano. Nadaanan ko lang siya kasi then I saw her drinking beer. Eh baka lang nalasing siya or what. Mag isa lang eh. Nasugat pa nga yun si bruha." Natawa pa niyang sabi. Late na nang marealize niyang he shared too much information.
"Nasugat? Bakit alam mo? Akala ko ba nadaanan mo lang." Sabi ni Vhong.
"Nakita ko lang parang ano may sugat ganun. Ano ba yan. It's really so hot in here!" Pag-iiba ni Vice ng topic.
"I'll just call K. Yun talagang babaeng yun! Naku makakatikim sa akin yun pagbalik ko ng Manila." Sabay tayo ni Anne.
Nang maiwan ang magpinsan sa table ay nag-iwas ng tingin si Vice. Napangiti naman si Vhong.
"Kilala kita, Viceral. Kasama mo si Karylle kagabi no?"
"Ano. Nagkwentuhan lang naman kami." Pasukong sagot niya.
"Para kang sira bakit kailangan mong itago?"
"I don't know, maybe Karylle doesn't want Anne to know, ewan ko."
"Brad, n-nag kwento naman ba sayo si Karylle?" Vhong asked.
"Hindi nga eh. She's very reserved. Ako lang yung salita ng salita." Kwento ni Vice.
"Ah. Okay. Ganun talaga yun. Konti lang talaga kinakausap niya. Swerte ka pinagtuunan ka ng pansin kagabi." Pangaasar ni Vhong.
"Excuse me no, people pay me for my appearances, swerte siya pinaglaanan ko siya ng time ko." Mayabang na sabi ni Vice.
"No, trust me. Kung nagkausap man kayo kagabi, swerte ka kasi pinaglaanan ka niya ng laway niya!"
"L-laway?" Napalunok si Vice. The kiss... Fuck.
"I mean, you're lucky if she talked to you or if she shared kahit gaano pa kaliit na bagay sayo. Ano ba? Hindi ka na marunong mag-tagalog? Haha. Pero alam mo mabait yun. Haay, nakakamiss nga yung dating Karylle eh."
"Dating Karylle?" He asked.
As if Vhong was saved by the bell when Anne went back hysterical.
"Karylle got into a car accident! It's minor lang naman but it's all over the news. Naloloka ako! She came in positive with alcohol while driving! Buti na lang naayos agad ni Billy yun! Ano bang ginagawa ng pinsan ko sa buhay niya!?"
"Car accident? Kamusta daw siya? Ang kulit ng pinsan mong yan talaga!" Nagaalalang tanong ni Vice which caused Vhong to give him that questioning look.
"B-buti kasama niya si Billy." Dagdag na lang ni Vice nang bawiin niya ang tingin kay Vhong.
"Okay lang daw. May sugat daw sa ulo pero very minor. I was on the phone with Billy actually. Siya yung nasa recent calls ni K kaya siya yung tinawagan ng mga police. Hinatid na lang siya ni Billy pauwi. He admitted her sa hospital back home to check if may internal injury. Haaaay naloloka ako!" Stressed na stressed na sabi ni Anne.
Billy. Siyempre andun si Billy. Maybe Billy's her boyfriend. Lalo namang bumigat ang nararamdaman ni Vice. Siya naman unang humalik sa akin eh, so I'm not at fault. Sabi niya sa isip niya.
"Babe." Malambing na sabi ni Anne sa kaniyang asawa. Siya namang nakapukaw ng atensyon ni Vice.
"Okay. Okay. I get it. Uuwi na tayo mamaya. Wag ka na mastress. Di naman siya pababayaan ni Billy." Sabi ni Vhong.
"Thanks babe. Babawi ako sa'yo." Sabi ni Anne.
Vice remained quiet. Hindi niya alam kung bakit siya ganito ka concerned kay Karylle. He just met her yesterday. He just talked to her last night. He actually knows nothing about her besides sa pinsan siya ni Anne at sa suicidal siyang tao. Siguro dahil pinsan siya ng asawa ng pinsan niya. She's already a family now right? Siguro yun nga.
Or maybe it was something else. Maybe she reminded him of someone. Maybe she reminded him of.... Ano ba Vice! Pagtigil niya sa kung ano mang naiisip niya.
"I'll go with you guys later. Sabihin niyo lang what time kayo babalik ng Manila." At hindi na nga napigilan ni Vice ang sumama pauwi.
"What? No na waks, go enjoy the rest of your vacation. You only have a few days diba? Okay lang talaga." Anne said.
"Nangengealam ka nanaman! Gusto ko na nga bumalik ng Manila. Atsaka what else would I do here eh wala naman na kayo, wala na akong guguluhin so might as well go home with you. BTW, I'll crash at your place ha? Thaanks." Baklang baklang sabi nito.
He was ready to leave at hinihintay na lang niya ang mag asawa.
"Di ka sa amin sasabay? Iwanan mo na yang sasakyan mo, call them, tell them to just pick the car here. Leave the keys sa reception. Sama sama na lang tayo." Sabi ni Vhong kay Vice.
"Baliw, wag na nakakahiya, abala pa. It's okay, I can manage. Text me the address, I'll just use my GPS."
"Osige. Mag-ingat ka ha? Hindi ka sanay sa mga daan dito!"
"Ang OA! I lived here for 17 whole years at ilang beses na rin akong nakabalik na nagdadrive ako. I'm sure I still can figure my way out of trouble!"
"Yabang brad! Maligaw ka sana mamaya." Asar ni Vhong.
"Ang sama ng ugali nito!"
Nagbibiruan nanaman ang magpinsan nang lumapit si Anne na nakatingin sa phone niya.
"Bakla! You're all over the news! Oh my gosh I'm so sorry." Sabi ni Anne.
"Ha? How? I never posted any—"
"Oh!" Sabay abot ng phone niya kay Vice.
"Somebody saw you sa airport tapos nagpost na yung ilang bisita sa social media and I forgot to tell them not to include you in the photos. I'm sorry waks, I got so preoccupied yesterday. Omg."
"It's fine Anne. Hayaan na lang natin sila. Tara na alis na tayo."
Because of their famous background, Anne chose this private resort in Batangas para dito magpakasal. She invited few friends and family over to celebrate their intimate wedding. No media was allowed. Although may mga umaaligid aligid pa rin na animo'y paparazzi ay napanatili pa rin ang intimacy ng wedding. Not until the guests themselves started to post online. Hindi naman kasi secret ang pagpapakasal niya. In fact the whole nation knows pero dahil sa mga bagay bagay in the past ay mas pinili na lang ni Anne ang private and intimate wedding. But in a life of a famous personality. Privacy was something very hard to get a hold of.
And this is why Vice hated going back home. Ang mga hindi mamatay matay na issues tungkol sa kaniya. Ang mga paulit ulit na tanong ng mga reporters na kahit ilang beses niyang paulit ulit rin na sagutin ay para bang they still aren't satisfied.
The usual questions like
'Sir Carlos Viceral is about to retire soon. When are you gonna take over your dad's business?'
or yung
'May plano ka bang bumalik sa Pilipinas at dito na manirahan ulit?'
At ang pinakapaulit ulit na
'How is your relationship with your family? Totoo bang itinatakwil ka ng daddy mo lalo na noong napabalitang nagpapalit ka na raw ng pangalan sa America?'
Those freaking headline news only caused him a lot of haters and bashers. Although thankful siya sa mga pinoy na proud na proud sa kaniya for taking over the fashion world in hollywood, minsan napapansing naman niya na parang mas marami pa ang mga pinoy na hindi naman siya gusto dahil nga he was not the ideal son the pinoy netizens would actually prefer. But he doesn't mind. Sa isip niya ay he doesn't live for them and they don't know the story behind everything.
Yun din ang rason kung bakit nagagalit ang Daddy niya. His dad is a business tycoon, na-feature na nga ito sa Time Magazine dahil isa nga ito sa mga pinakamayayaman. He owns a lot of mall chains in the Philippines and he even expanded in Singapore and Hong Kong. Pero kahit kailan ay hindi ito nasangkot sa mga negative na balita, kahit nga noong namatay ang panganay nilang anak ay binayaran pa nito ang media para lang hindi ito maibalita sa madla. Dito lang sa mga showbiz news about Vice nababanggit ang pangalan niya.
The people still refer to Vice as Jose 'Vice' Viceral. Dala pa rin ang pangalang Viceral na pinangangalagaan ng daddy niya. Kahit ilang beses niyang tanggalin ang Viceral sa pangalan niya at ginawa pa nga niyang trademark na ang pangalang VICE ay hindi pa rin ito mawalawala sa Pilipinas. In the high fashion scene, he was simply just VICE, the celebrities' favorite go-to stylist and that's why he loves that world.
Few more days, back to life na bakla. Enjoy your vacation. Sabi niya na lang sa sarili niya.
Nakaalis na ang dalawa nang bigla niyang makita ang cellphone niya. He opened it and saw a number he just saved a while ago.
Nang mag cr kasi si Vhong during their breakfast ay pinakialaman niya ang cellphone nito at kinuha nga ang number ni Karylle. It took him a long time before he actually had the guts to save it.
Ang lakas nanaman ng trip mo bakla. Flavor of the month mo nanaman ba si bruha? Pailing iling na sinabi nito.
To: Bruha
Hoy bruha, heard you got into an accident. Gaano ka kakulit? Hindi ka rin talaga magpapapigil no? Pasalamat ka you're still alive. Seejsushhahah
*beeeeeep!*
Sent.
"Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shiiiit!" Paulit ulit na sinasabi ni Vice. Hindi naman talaga niya gustong isend yung message. Kung hindi lang siya nagulat sa busina at hindi niya nabitawan ang cellphone niya hindi naman masesend yun kay Karylle.
"Hayop kang Hipolito kaaaaa!" Sabi niya nang makita ang tumatawang si Vhong na nakita siyang nagulat at pababa ng sasakyan niya ngayon.
"Bat andito ka pa?" Tatawa tawang sabi ng kaniyang pinsan.
"You fucking bastard! Eh bakit ikaw nandito ka nanamang bwisit ka?!" Asar na sabi nito.
"Oh anong nangyari! Bat badtrip ka nanaman? Hahahahaha! Kukunin ko mga gamit ni Billy, pinapakuha niya nga pala, nakalimutan ko eh. Bat ka ba badtrip! Gulat na gulat ka kasi? Hahaha! Sana vinideohan ko hahaha! That was priceless!"
"Lintik lang ang walang ganti! Nako nanggigigil ako sayo Navarro!!! Aalis na ako. Nakakaasar ka talagang bwisit ka!!!"
Tumatawa lang si Vhong habang tinitignang paalis ang pikon niyang pinsan niya.
Vice glanced at his phone again hoping na namalikmata lang siya kanina. But no, it was really sent. And he was only praying that Karylle would never figure out whose number that is. Kung bakit ba naman kasi!
Stupid Vice.
...
Teneen! Celebrities and famous people pa rin sila but... Still, nasa alternate universe pa rin ang mga bida :)
More surprises on the next chapters ;)
Kapit lang tayo kay Karylle ha? :)
Thank you readers! Hope you share this story to all your other VK friends as well! Love, love, love!
❤️K