Before I can even say hello he says my name, forcing me to let out a small smile along with a couple tears. It's been far too long since I've heard that beautiful voice of his. I respond with his name and he asks what his amazing girlfriend has been up to. I start by telling him about the chaos of school, refraining from telling him the chaos of my life, and I look down, realizing my hand is placed perfectly over my stomach. I glance at the clock, remembering that he doesn't get much time to call. I get a small shiver and sink down into the bubbles. I guess my words will be left unspoken.
He begins telling me stories of the small adventures he's been on and all of the crazy things that he's seen, but I zone out to the calming sound of his deep, sleepy, voice.
"Lex? Are you there? Are you okay?"
I snap back to reality.
"What? Yeah, I'm here."
I hear him shift his position and he sighs.
"I know you, babe. What's going on? Don't hide it. Something's wrong I know it. Don't make me worry more than I need to."
I sigh and feel my throat get tight. I go to speak, "Brooklyn- I. I have to-". I pause when I hear him talking to someone else. I can't quite make out the words he's saying but his muffled, adorable, yet, nervous laugh is followed by a quiet "yes sir."
"Lex, can it wait? I kinda gotta go. Sergeant's orders."
I nod even though he can't see me. I'm never going to get used to this.
"I love you. Promise me you're gonna be okay?"
"I promise."
This is when he would normally tuck my hair behind my ear. He would take his beautifully crafted hands and slide his fingers under my chin, turning my gaze up to his emerald eyes. He would kiss my forehead and tell me things were gonna be alright. He would be here; but he's not.
I hear him pause before hanging up and I whisper an "I miss you." The click makes my chest heavy and the only sound to mask my thoughts is the water slowly draining beneath my feet. It reminds me of the way I feel- slowly draining away.
I carefully step out and turn to grab my soft pink towel, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I stop dead in my tracks, the water slowly dripping off of my cold body. "You're gonna be strong just like your Daddy", I say as I wrap the towel gently around me. "You're gonna fight with me through this crazy mess little one, but I promise you nothing bad is going to happen".