Olive has been staying with Luke for two days and, so far, Calum has learned three things.
First, Olive will do anything to watch Luke squirm. And by anything, he does mean anything. Absolutely nothing is off limits, not even their mum, Luke's sexuality crisis, or Calum's dick. Michael is thrilled someone shares his hobby of harassing Luke and teams up with the older twin as much as possible.
The second thing Calum's learned, is that the twins are oddly in sync. As in they speak at the same times (mostly talking over each other), the move in the same way, and they seem to be able to read each other's minds. If Luke is too uncomfortable with something Michael's said, Olive grabs the blue haired boy around the throat and makes Ashton shriek. At one point, Calum wakes up smushed between the two brothers and finds them in the exact same position- facing him, mouths dropped open, legs curled up slightly, and hands curled against their chests (Calum squirms out of bed instantly and bolts because it kind of freaks him out).
The third and final thing Calum's learned is that Luke is absolutely savage when he wants to be. He fights viciously, physically when he has to, and spits words at his brother that even make Ashton blush. Apparently, having all those brothers has made him completely fearless when faced with one of them. Calum watches his blonde boyfriend grab both Michael and Olive in a headlock simultaneously, one screeching under each arm, and decides he absolutely has to meet the rest of the family. There's no way he's voluntarily not meeting the rest of the brothers, now that he's met one.
On the third day, Calum wakes up early to avoid Ashton and Michael, pulls on a pair of shoes, and stumbles out to his car in pink sweatpants. He parks his shitty impala between Luke's and Olive's black jaguars and barely manages a wave at the receptionist before he's on his way up in the elevator.
Luke answers the door, after about five minutes of texts and soft knocking, in a long shirt and pink boxers, rubbing sleep from his eyes and blinking furiously at Calum.
"What are you-"
Calum grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him from the apartment, into the hallway. Gently, he closes the door again while Luke frowns at him. Before Luke can even say anything, Calum pulls him down and wraps his arms around Luke's waist, patiently waiting for Luke to hug him around the neck to sigh contentedly.
They stand in the hallway, in various sleep clothes, hugging for a while. Eventually, Luke's attention span runs out and he pulls back to press a soft kiss to Calum's mouth. As soon as he pulls back, he blushes furiously and looks down.
Calum rubs his thumb over Luke's hot, red cheek with a fond smile on his face. "There's my boy. Haven't seen him in a while."
"I'm sorry," Luke blushes even more and attempts to duck out of Calum's grip, but Calum just holds his cheeks more firmly. "Olive- I'm really comfortable around my brothers. Too comfortable."
Calum shakes his head quickly. "No, I like watching you and Olive. I just need to see this Luke every so often. This Luke is my beautiful, blushing, boy." Luke flushes again and Calum grins at him, leaning forward to kiss across his warm cheeks. It does absolutely nothing to solve the problem, makes Luke even redder, if anything. "Not that I don't like him, but when is Olive leaving?"
Luke's eyes slide shut, so Calum gently pushes his shoulders until he's leaning against the wall, right next to his front door. "I'm- I don't know. He got kicked out of his place in Spain and most of the family isn't talking to him, so he doesn't have any place to go. I'm the only one left and he's- I can't kick him out, that's my twin."
Calum nods quickly. "No, of course," he agrees, hands tight at Luke's lower back as he kisses down the blonde's throat lightly. "I'm glad he's here so you can spend time with him, just. Just, you know, I miss you."
"I know," Luke flushes again. Ducking down, he buries his face into the top of Calum's hair and giggles softly. "I'm sorry, I'm an awful boyfriend, I know."
Calum rubs his back soothingly and hums. "You're not," he assures him. "You're a great boyfriend, I love you."
It just sort of slips out. Calum doesn't even realize he's said it until Luke tenses and fists his hands in Calum's curls tightly. Calum's own hands still at Luke's lower back apologetically, face still tucked into Luke's neck with his lips hovering above his skin, warm breath making goosebumps rise. After a few seconds, Luke squirms until Calum releases him, and presses himself bodily against the wall. Hands spread out on either side of his body, Calum eyes the blonde and takes a cautious step backwards.
"I'm sorry," Calum says honestly. "It just came out, I didn't..." he trails off and tries to catch Luke's eye, but he's got his eyes locked ok Calum's chest firmly.
"Didn't what?" Luke prompts. "Didn't mean it?"
Calum shakes his head. "Didn't think."
Luke's thick eyebrows furrow at that. "Did you mean it, then?"
"Yeah," Calum doesn't even have to think about that one. He does, he loves Luke. Has since they first kissed, probably will for a long time, too.
Luke glances up at the response and meets Calum's eyes briefly, before flicking them back down to his shirt collar, again. "Thank you. I'm not- I can't- I don't think- saying it back, I mean, I can't-"
Calum's quick to shush him by grabbing Luke's cheeks and rubbing his thumbs across his cheekbones. "Hey, that's fine, I don't expect you to. That doesn't change the fact that I love you, though."
Luke nudges his face forward in a bumbling way to nose against Calum's cheek with a big, dopey smile on his face. "Thank you."
☆☆☆☆
Michael sighs heavily and strokes his hand down the side of Ashton's face slowly, despite how the older boy tries to nip at his fingers."My sweet, sweet, baby, angel." He whispers.
"Oh my god, stop, I'm fine," Ashton rolls his eyes, but Michael just shushes him and looks up to Calum in the doorway with a tragic frown on his face.
"He's sick," Michael sounds scandalized, like Ashton's weak immune system doesn't make him sick at least once a week. Honestly, Calum's used to it. He knows Ashton's practically a China doll when it comes to his health, has had to deal with the sick boy more than a few times on his own. Michael, however, acts like it's the end of the world every time the boy so much as coughs.
"He, apparently, didn't take his vitamins," Calum chastises from the doorway of their bedroom.
"There's just so many," Ashton whines, like taking 5 vitamins and two chewables a day is too much to ask. Calum tells him to do one thing, and it's too much. Originally, Calum had forced the smaller boy into taking vitamins because he was sick of listening to his violent coughing and pathetic little sniffles in their old dorm room. They work, apparently, as Ashton isn't always sick (Calum's going to count his colds twice a month as a win).
"There's a lot," Calum agrees, but gestures to how he's curled in bed under three blankets pointedly. "But if you'd taken them, you wouldn't be sick." Ashton scowls, and Michael's quick to pet at his sweaty hair and clammy forehead. Calum rolls his eyes at the two of them and crosses his arms over his chest. "Whatever, sorry for wanting you to stay healthy. I'll quit nagging you, it's much more fun to watch you suffer. Consider your invitation officially revoked. Michael?"
Ashton whines as he ducks under the blankets and sniffles pathetically. Michael pets at his lump of a body and frowns. "I can't leave him."
"It's a cold, he's not dying," Calum sighs in exasperation. Michael continues frowning at the lump of blankets letting out a long, incessant groan of pain in the bed next to him.
"Just go!" Ashton cries, muffled and miserable. "Go on without me, Mikey!"
Michael pats around the blanket pile until his hands circle around what must be Ashton's head. "Are you sure? Don't you need me here? Ash-"
"I'll suffer here alone, if I must!" Ashton cries dramatically. Calum rolls his eyes and leans against the door frame, pulling out his phone to check the time while they go through their daily lover's ballad, or whatever. They have about half an hour until they're meant to be at Luke's, Calum already knows they'll be late. As usual. When he glances up, Ashton's face has been freed of the blankets and Michael's cradling it delicately in his lap. "Michael, you have to go. They're talking about Luke's family, that means embarrassing stories and awkward teenage Luke pictures! That's prime blackmail material, you love blackmail!"
"I love you more, though," Michael mumbles, immediately looking away while Ashton gapes at him. Even Calum's surprised, Michael does love blackmail and harassing Luke, this is his absolute prime opportunity.
"No," Ashton says firmly. "No, I've decided. You have to go, because I can't and I want the blackmail. Take pictures, please?"
Michael sighs and leans down to kiss his sweaty forehead lightly. "Alright, fine. I'll miss you, though. Maybe I'll set up that laptop before I go, so we can Skype the entire time. I don't want you to miss anything."
Ashton considers it, then nods quickly. "Yeah, please." Calum rolls his eyes again when Michael crawls out of bed to grab the laptop. He really can't believe them, but at the same time, he totally can. He shoots Luke a text about how they're going to be late, and pulls his car keys from the pocket of his jacket. Patiently, he waits for Michael to set the laptop on the bed (plugging it in, of course, so Ashton doesn't have to move if it should start to die). Michael calls himself via Skype, answers on his phone, then beams at Ashton through the two devices. Ashton smiles back warmly and sinks further into the blankets.
"Don't forget your charger, then," Ashton mumbles. Michael snatches his charger from the outlet next to him while Calum checks his own phone, again. Ashton and Michael annoy him, most of the time, but Calum's glad they have each other. They may be obnoxious and over sexual and, as Luke would say, full of sin, but they're in love, and there's absolutely no way to hide it. They care about each other, and it makes Calum's cheeks warm with blush when he remembers how intimate his best friends are.
"I want to be the best man at your wedding," Calum blurts out. Ashton looks at Michael before they both turn to him curiously. "When you get married," Calum clarifies. "I want to be your best man."
Michael pauses and glances down at Ashton for a moment before answering. "I mean, we don't really have any other choice. Like, what are we supposed to do, call our hoards of other best friends and let them down gently?"
Ashton sniffs and rubs his nose with a blanket covered fist. "I already dibsed Luke, so." Calum gives him an unimpressed look and turns to Michael.
"I'm leaving, whether you're in the car or not," he warns. Michael scrambles to press another kiss to Ashton's forehead, then hurries after his best friend. Once they're in the car and on the way to Luke's, Calum gives Michael's phone in the cup holder a glance. "You're wasting all our data."
"My true love is more important than your cat videos," Michael mutters. Ashton hums with a pleased look on his face from the phone screen.
The ride to Luke's is quick and loud, thanks to the Green Day album Ashton forces them to put on. Calum's glad to get out of the car, parked, once again, between Luke's and Olive's matching black jaguars. Michael giggles quietly to his phone the entire way up to Luke's apartment, so Calum's more than happy when he stumbles off into the living room as soon as the doors open.
"Ashton's sick," Calum explains when Luke gives Michael a strange look. "He didn't take his fucking vitamins because he loves suffering, the prick." It's only after he toes off his shoes that he smiles up at his blonde boyfriend. "Hi, Luke."
"Hi," Luke smiles right back and bumps into Calum with his whole body until he gets a kiss. "Michael's not going to blackmail me, is he?"
"Oh, yeah," Calum nods sympathetically. "You'll probably never live it down. Ashton's probably recording it so they can use it in the future. Sorry, sweetheart."
Luke blushes and scowls, a surprisingly interesting combination, and Calum just smiles at him. Before he can respond, Michael let's out a surprised but pleased noise from the living room and Luke pales considerably, which is quite the feat with his skin tone (Calum usually describes it as Tanner Than Michael, Whiter Than A Ghost).
"Come on, Lukey, baby," Calum holds his hand out and waits until Luke grabs it to drag the younger boy further into the apartment.
Olive is all spread out on one couch, with Ashton set against a box of what appears to be family photos in front of him. Michael's on the floor in front of the coffee table, happily shuffling through the pictures.
"Ashton, look! " Michael enthuses. He holds a picture up to the phone and Ashton giggles quietly on the other end.
"Let me see," Calum tugs Luke over and holds his free hand out. Michael hands it to him with a teasing grin addressed to Luke, who mumbles quietly and shuffles so he's hiding behind Calum more.
The picture is of the two twins, both dressed in sleek black suits with matching blue bowties. They're both blonde with flawless skin, so Calum can't tell which is which. Either way, their hair is falling on their foreheads in straightened fringes, and Calum thinks they look like dorks.
He smiles at Luke and asks, "Which is you?"
"The one on the left," Luke mumbles. His suit is a little too big, falling of his arms and too low at his waist, with his pant legs obviously hemmed up. Calum snorts and Luke shrugs. "We weren't always rich. This was from when we could only afford to rent the suits, and they only had one of each size. Mum wanted us to match."
Calum smiles even wider and Michael keeps flipping through the pictures. "Cal and I went to prom together," Michael tells them. Ashton looks startled through the phone. "We ditched after twenty minutes to go get drunk in my attic, but it was a good twenty minutes. Our mums got cute pictures of us together and it was totally no homo." He says the last part to appease Ashton, obviously, as the older boy hums through his sniffles.
"We spent so much on those twenty minutes," Calum says fondly as he flops onto the floor next to Michael, dropping Luke's hand in the process.
"You threw up on my suit," Michael reminds him. "It was my cousins."
"Okay, let's let the past be the past," Calum waves him off quickly. Michael snorts and pulls another picture from the pile spread on the coffee table. Calum leans into him and grins at the two identical toddlers in the photo, both with flushed, chubby cheeks and big, blue eyes.
Luke snorts and pulls the picture from Michael's hands. "This was when our aunt got married. We were supposed to be the ring bearers, but Olive kept hitting me with the pillow, so they cut us out." Calum smiles fondly and Olive laughs from behind them.
"I did not, you were hitting me!" He protests.
Luke rolls his eyes and waves his hand dismissively. "Whatever. We got kicked out of a wedding party when we were 4."
Michael glances over to Calum for a second, running his eyes over the dark haired boy's face like he's realizing something. The look is gone by the time Calum makes eye contact with him, replaced by a lopsided grin. Michael punches him in the shoulder lightly before he starts leafing through the pictures again.
"Ash is hoping to get kicked out of his own wedding party," Michael informs them, despite Ashton's protesting noise through the phone. "He wants to elope."
Calum scoffs, offended, and flicks Michael in the head. "You just said I could be best man! If you elope, I'll fucking kill you with my bare hands!" Michael rolls his eyes and waves him off, but Calum grabs his shoulder until he flinches to show just how serious he is. "Don't you dare take this away from me."
"You?" Michael echoes as he grabs Calum's wrist and wrestles his hand off. "It's my wedding, this isn't about you!"
"You're right, it's about me," Ashton says through the phone. He breaks into a coughing fit immediately after and Michael coos at him, so Calum goes back to the pictures. While he's looking for an interesting one, Olive hops off the couch and flops down next to Luke, knocking their shoulders together.
Calum pulls a photo of the twins at about 8 on a swing set with a smaller, blonde girl on the swing between them. Luke pulls it away before Calum can get a good look and smiles fondly. Like they're moving together without words, both of the twins lean into each other to see the picture.
"Sophie," they say together, instantly shooting each other glares. Calum expects them to start bickering, but they just break into matching grins and look down again.
"Our half sister," Luke explains as his smile fades. "She and Steven only came around on the weekends, so we didn't get to see them a lot. When Steven died, Sophie moved to France, so we don't get to see her a lot, anymore."
"She's going to be at the family reunion," Olive nudges him, leaning forward to peer at Luke's face until he smiles again. Once he does, Olive leans back and grins as well, flicking his eyes up to Calum's.
Michael picks up another photo and knocks his shoulder into Calum's. Before he even looks down, Calum's struck with the realization that they're just like Luke and Olive. They act exactly like the twins. "Oh, god," He mutters, looking up at Michael. "We're them." He nods his head in the direction of Luke and Olive.
Michael snorts. "I know we are, it's terrible. I can't be your twin, I don't even like you."
Calum smacks him upside the head, ruffling his hair and forcing a squawk from him. Before Calum has a chance to argue, Michael shoves his chest, so Calum kicks him in the hip.
"Oh my god, you are us," Olive agrees. Calum gives Michael a somewhat disgusted, horrified look. In response, Michael tackles him in a hug and, when Calum starts struggling, pins him to the floor. Calum huffs with his back pressed to the floor and Michael's arms tight around his biceps.
"Stop doing things I can't see," Ashton whines. Michael hauls Calum up and hugs him vertically, giant grin plastered on his face, so Ashton can see from the phone. Meanwhile, Luke and Olive ignore them and continue flipping through old pictures of themselves.
"Here," Luke shifts a bit, but Calum can't really see on account on his chest being pressed against Michael's forcefully. "Here's a good one, Cal." Calum squirms around in until he can turn around, partially in Michael's lap, with his back pressed to Michael's chest. Luke eyes the two of them warily, but holds the picture out so they can see.
The picture is of Luke's whole family, apparently, in what looks like a park. They're all huddled together in groups based on smaller family groups, complete with each dad and half and stepsiblings, but standing together in one bigger group. Luke and Olive look about 15 with their arms hooked around each other, standing in front of their father, Sophie, and Steven.
"Can you name them all?" Olive asks. Calum glances over at him, eyes lingering long enough to notice his chin hooked over Luke's shoulder, then back down to the picture. It still kind of freaks him out how exactly alike the two twins look, he tends to shy away from it. Michael unconsciously hooks his own chin over Calum's shoulder, so Calum swats him off and squirms until he moves.
"Okay, Luke, Olive, Sophie, and Steven," Calum points to the picture as much as he can with Michael's arms around his biceps. "Do I need to know your dad's name? Because I don't, is that going to count against me?"
Luke giggles and Olive smiles at his brother's laugh. "No," Luke assures him. "He's not going to be there, I think you'll be okay." Calum nods thankfully. Of course, that means he has to meet Luke's dad another time, which is only added stress, but whatever. Luke's only looking through these pictures so Calum knows people's names when he goes to this reunion they're having.
"Okay, then," Calum flicks his eyes over to the next small family group of two boys slightly older than the twins and another dad. "Jack and- and, fuck, um," he trails off and nudges Michael, who glances at Ashton on the phone screen. After a second or two, Michael leans in again and whispers, "Levi!" so Calum blurts that out.
"Cheating, but I'll count it," Olive decides. Calum smiles giddily and nudges Michael again.
"Jack has a girlfriend and a daughter," Luke's scrolling through his phone quickly. He pauses when he gets to a certain picture and holds it up for Calum to see. It's of a woman and a baby, Calum assumes Jack's girlfriend and daughter. "May and baby Ellie."
"May and Ellie," Calum repeats. "Got it, Jack, May, and Ellie."
"Levi has a wife, too," Luke pulls his phone away until he finds another picture of Levi and a woman. "Lily."
"She gets offended if people mix up her name with Ellie's," Olive adds. Luke nods in agreement and sets his phone into his lap, again.
"Their dad's name is Marc," Luke points in the photo to their father, who looks almost exactly like Levi does now.
"Jack, May, and Ellie," Calum recites patiently. He's going to know everyone's names if it kills him. "Levi and Lily, and their dad, Marc. Okay, I think I got it." He flicks his eyes to the next family group. The one with all the girls and trans kids. Calum sees himself mingling with them if Luke abandons him at the reunion. "Ben, I know that one. Um. Fuck, Shane? Miami? Uh-" he knocks his elbow into Michael's chest again.
"Don't look at me," Ashton shrugs through the phone when both Calum and Michael turn to him. "I wasn't listening to this part, I was kissing Michael."
Michael wiggles his eyebrows and mumbles, "Yeah, you were," which just makes Ashton roll his eyes and Calum gag.
Calum turns back to the two twins and slumps in defeat. Luke smiles and tilts the photo so he can get a better look at it. "You got the oldest and the youngest right, I'll give you that. Then there's Amanda, Melame, and-" even Luke pauses there, so Olive steps in.
"Bella," he says. Luke nods eagerly and Olive laughs again.
"There's a lot of them, shut up," Luke elbows him in the chest pointedly. He turns back to Calum and smiles as soon as their eyes meet again. "Okay, Shane goes by he/him pronouns, and Melame goes by they/them. The other three, Bella, Amanda, and Miami, use she/her. Got it?" Calum nods because that's going to be the easiest part, once he separates them all and gets a name to a face. "Ben is married, too, but I don't have a picture. I'm not sure if his family is going to be there, they don't come to this stuff too often. Oh, their dad's name is Mark- easy to remember it, because he's Mark with a K and Levi and Jack's dad is Marc with a c."
"Oh, god, there's a spelling test, too?" Calum groans.
Luke rolls his eyes while Olive tilts his head back and let's out a loud laugh that sounds absolutely nothing like Luke's soft giggles. Calum eyes the two of them, but Luke just looks at him expectantly and points to the final family group- an older boy and his dad.
"Ari," Calum says easily- that one, he remembers. "He's the one with the husband, right? Wait, isn't his name Marc, too?"
Luke nods, looking exasperated. "Don't try to explain the irony, none of them get it.
"I mean," Ashton sniffles from the phone and rubs at the tip of his red nose. "At least that's three less names you have to remember."
"Germ City has a point," Calum agrees. Ashton whines, so Michael squeezes Calum's chest a little tighter in retaliation. Calum continues, unabashed, "Does he speak Maori?"
"Maybe," Luke shrugs. He's back to scrolling through his phone with a look of pure concentration on his face, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. "I'm not sure, he moved out when we were 15, so I don't really remember a lot about his speech and such. Why?"
"I do," Calum explains, returning to his squirming to escape Michael's death hug. "Speak, I mean. Sort of, I'm probably rusty and I wasn't completely fluent to begin with."
"Tutakina ake," Michael states matter of factly. "Shut up." Ashton squawks from the phone, apparently offended by how many times Michael's uttered the statement under his breath at him. Michael give him a sad look and gently says, "Sorry, baby. Sometimes it's easier to cut off the argument before it turns into a fight, and you know I'm too passive aggressive to not have the last word."
Ashton scowls and demands, "Take me to the bathroom."
"What?" Michael frowns. His grip loosens around Calum's arms, but Calum's pitying him and can't squirm away without remorse, now.
"Take me to the fucking bathroom," Ashton repeats angrily. Michael sighs in exasperation and releases Calum, shoving him away so he can stand up and grab his phone. Calum pats the back of his knee as he walks past in encouragement.
"I swear that's all I know, that's all Calum taught me," Michael assures him as he trudges to the bathroom to get yelled at. As soon as he's gone and the door's slammed shut, Olive sinks his teeth into Luke's shoulder and makes him cry out. Calum perks up and flutters closer to comfort him, which just makes Olive grin.
"That's cute," Olive decides when Luke's shoved him off and Calum's reaching out to make sure he's alright. "I like you, Calum. You're much better than any of the annoying girlfriends Luke's had in the past. Remember that stupid one that kept trying to suck your dick and-"
"Olive, you should go make something for dinner!" Luke says quickly, averting his eyes to the floor.
Olive raises one pierced brow and hums in amusement. "Oh, Luke hasn't told you about his shit choice in woman, has he? I'm just glad he's gay, now."
"I'm not-" Luke makes a frustrated noise and, apparently, decides actions speak louder than words as he shoves Olive back with a hand in the center of his chest. "Quit! Go make some fucking dinner!"
"Alright, alright, mercy," Olive holds his hands up, then smacks Luke's head as soon as he looks away. "Calum, are you staying the night?"
"He's not," Luke replies firmly.
Calum glances at him, then nods at Olive. "Looks like I will be. As long as one of you can drive me home in the morning when Michael tells my car to get back to Ashton."
"'Course," Olive smiles and uses Luke as a kickstand as he gets to his feet, again. "Pasta sound good? That's all I can make and there's no guarantee I won't set it on fire. How do you think I got kicked out of my place in Spain?"
Calum gives him an odd look as he walks off in the direction of the kitchen, but decides to bring it up at a later date. He glances back to Luke, who's still looking anywhere except Calum.
"Luke," Calum says patiently. Luke whines, so Calum reaches over and forces his chin to the side, squishing his cheeks to force the eye contact. Because nothing says love like squished cheeks and forced eye contact. "I don't care about them. They were before, I am now. I don't care, as long as you're not fucking one of them behind my back."
Luke shakes his head frantically, eyes widening at the thought. It makes Calum smile and press a soft kiss to his mouth.
"Alright. Wanna make out in the bath tonight? I'll put as many bubbles as I can into it," he hums and Luke nods frantically again. "Good. I love you."
Luke manages to get out a soft, "Thank you," through his squished mouth and face, so Calum kisses him, again.
((Omg guys today I went to a bernie sanders rally and obviously, waiting for 5 hours makes you hungry, so I went to dinner with my parents after and ted cruz showed up at the restaurant and fucking ruined my dinner and shook my hand and talked to me about bernie honestly if I wanted to eat dinner with a serial killer I would have called up someone who didn't draw huge crowds ffs reporters took photos of my terribly dyed hair and put them on the Internet my reputation is RUINED
-Mel))