My ex had now started a family with his side chick. The situation wasn't fair to say the least. After all he didn't want anything to do with me when I had gotten pregnant, now he was willing to play house with Maria. My feelings were hurt, more like crushed. What the hell happened over the course of a few months. I wasn't prepared for that type of news. I had finally gotten over things that happened earlier in the summer. The same chick who checked me and ran up on me was now with child. Words couldn't explain how crushed I was.
The news of Antonio's baby confirmed that it was really time for me to move on. We couldn't be friends anymore, and trying to purse a relationship with him would have made things worse. The thought of him sleeping with her made my stomach turn. Just a few months ago that was us. Making love all throughout the night. Holding each other, fighting for each, going against the grain. Now everything we had built was flushed down the toilet in the matter of minutes.
My feelings had to be place on the back burner. It wasn't really about me. Antonio was still a friend despite the circumstance. Even though he turned his back on me, I would still be there for him. Life is not about Monkey see, Monkey do, but about being a bigger person and helping someone out in need. Deep down I was hurt about things but those feelings had to be pushed aside. He was someone I once had fallen in love with. Letting him go through that alone wouldn't be right. I wished someone had been there for me, like I would be there for him. His situation brought back so many memories.
I was Maria a few months back. Going through a pregnancy alone. I didn't have very many people to turn to, and I damn sure didn't want to bring a child in this world given that it was my Uncles. Antonio's child deserved a chance. Even though those memories hurt, I would put everything aside to help him through this. Time was winding down and we didn't have much longer before senior graduation. Mike and I had grown closer and our plan to successfully bring peace within the communities had worked, to some degree. We still had time to make peace on the east and north side's. We had a big plan that would soon come together.
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My mind was blown at the news of Maria being pregnant. As much as I couldn't stand her I was actually happy for her. I wanted her child to have a chance at life. No child is asked to be here and they don't ask to be aborted. As much as I couldn't stand Antonio I was glad that abortion wasn't an option. Im sure they would make great parents. Who am I kidding? I hated it, every moment of it. Her child had a chance, my first love had impregnanted her, and I was left to sit back and watch it all happen before my eyes.
It wasn't fair at all. He was willing to be there for her though it all. How come he wouldn't be there for me? I wasn't asking him to father my child. Did I really deserve the treatment that Antonio dished out? I thought I was his ride or die? Life changes in the blink of an eye and everything that I had fought so hard to establish was now gone. How I felt didn't need to affect things. My mind was made up to be there. Too bad I wouldn't be around for the birth. The big move was quickly approaching and time waits for no one....