I slowly open my eyes to see the sun's rays peeking into the tree den. The scent of thrush drifts to my nose, and I see the fresh-kill lying a few whisker lengths away from me on the dirt floor.
So, Scamp went out and got more fresh-kill for me, did he? Though I should be thankful, considering my wretched situation.
I reach out and drag the dead thrush closer to me and dig in.
"Ah, good afternoon, Cedarfrost!"
I look up at the sound of Scamp's cheery voice and see him bound to the entrance to the den, where he gazes happily down at me.
"Are you enjoying your thrush?" he asks, sitting down and wrapping his tail around him.
I nod and swallow my mouthful of meat. "Thrush is actually one of my favorite types of fresh-kills."
His eyes lit up. "Perfect, then!" He pauses a moment as I take another bite. It is a bit unsettling, having someone watch me eat, but I am starving, so I do not mind as much. "When you are done eating, I'm going to help you with your walking. To get your strength back up."
At his announcement, I choke on my mouthful, and a fit of coughing takes me over until I can finally swallow it properly. Anger rose within me. Does he think I am not strong? I am a warrior! He is but a mere kittypet! I could beat him in a fight any day!
Except for the fact that I am maimed and can't even stand without assistance.
I take a deep breath to calm me, my anger disintegrating. Why must I always be so hotheaded?
"You should do it sooner rather than later," the tom adds on. "What if another dog comes along?"
I see that he is right, for I would not even be able to climb a tree like last time. I nod in agreement and finish up the last few bites of my thrush.
When I am done, Scamp comes into the den and helps me up. I lean on his shoulder as he boosts me up and out of the den onto the flatter, grassy ground.
"All right," the black tom began, "first I want to see you stand without my help. I'm going to slowly remove my shoulder from beneath you so you can get your balance."
I appreciate how he tells me what he is going to do before he actually does it. He does as he said with me trying to find my balance. I gingerly put pressure on my injured leg and am very pleased to learn that the pain does not hurt as much as it did before; it still hurts a little, but it is bearable. His shoulder is fully removed, and I successfully stand on my own.
"The scratches on your muzzle look like they're almost healed. How does your leg feel?" he asks. He reminds me of a medicine cat, making sure every whisker-length of your body is as it should be.
"Well, I haven't fallen over like last time yet, so that's good," I reply. He gives a mrrow at that, and a warm feeling tingles within me. StarClan, his eyes are beautiful, the amber color seeming golden in the sunlight, dancing with amusement and joy. I could stare into them forever; they look just like Hawkstrike's -
What am I saying?
I am filled with great relief as Scamp moves on.
"Try taking a few steps forward - slowly, though. Carefully," he urges.
I do as he says, him walking right next to me so he can catch me if I fall. I stumble once or twice, but manage to stay upright, and successfully get from the tree den to another tree several tail-lengths away.
"Good work!" he commends, his eyes continuing their gleaming streak. "How are you feeling? Nothing is hurting?"
I snort in playful exasperation. "I am not a kit using my legs for the first time, keep that in mind."
Again, he gives out a soft purr of amusement, and I feel good about myself for causing him to do so twice now.
"Then you aren't scared to go further?" he asks, leaning in close to me with a mischievous glint in his bright amber eyes.
"I am not scared to face two badgers!" I retort.
That answer seems to please him, for he nods. "Perfect," he meows simply, though there is a knowing look in his eyes.
You sure can tell a lot from this kittypet by looking into his eyes.
Like we did just moments before, I take my time walking among the trees and avoiding the underbrush while Scamp stays close beside me. Close enough that our pelts brush each other every once in a while. I realize that he is casually trying to guide me somewhere, and I allow him. What does he want now?
Several badger-lengths away from the tree den, and I still feel perfectly fine. Wow, he truly is good at medicine. I bet Ravenflower would have loved to have Scamp as her medicine cat apprentice back in Fore -
I shook my head to clear the thought from it. I think it is quite unhealthy of me to think of... that place.
The entire time, when I am not concentrating on my steps, I wonder where Scamp is taking me. I resist the urge to ask him, because I am pretty certain that he wants this to be a complete surprise. In a way, it still is a surprise, since I have no clue where I am going.
He eventually halts, and I stop with him. "Hey, what's up there?" he asks, narrowing his eyes as he gazes up ahead. I see in those amber orbs that he already knows what is 'up there', and is excited.
I follow is gaze and peer ahead between a line of trees. After a while I notice that there is a river slicing across the land, the bright afternoon sun shining on its surface. Is that what he took me all this way for? A river? Hmph. At least it's not his stinking Twolegplace.
"It's a river," I answer him and say nothing else, waiting to see what he has to say next.
"Yeah, I guess it is a river." An awkward pause passes between us as we both stare at it. A few heartbeats later, he turns his head toward me. "Do you want to go closer to it?"
I return his look with a blank face, though I am trying my absolute best to not break out laughing at how hard he is trying to get me to do what he wants. What in the mighty Silverpelt's name is this adorable furball planning?
...What in StarClan's name is happening to me?
Am I still tired or something? Whatever. I push it aside for now.
"Sure." At my effortless, dull answer, it seems like Scamp's building excitement bursts out of him and he bounds forward a good five fox-lengths before remembering me and returning to my side to be there in case I fall as I slowly walk toward the river's sandy bank. I deliberately go even slower than before, my whiskers twitching in great amusement as I sense Scamp quivering in eagerness. He reminds me so much of a brand new apprentice allowing to leave the camp for the very first time in six moons.
We eventually break through the trees and come upon the sandy banks of the river. The river is a about half a tree-length long, and its current speeds quite swiftly downward. I see a few birds loitering on the shore a bit away, pecking at the sand; they're lucky I have already eaten. It is, however, a beautiful scene altogether. Relaxing, even.
Scamp urges me even closer to the river so that we are only a pawstep away from the rushing water. The bank in this area ends abruptly, the sand acting like a small version of a cliff with the river a small distance below.
"Do you like it?" Scamp asks me enthusiastically. He takes one good look at everything and then rests his warm, joyful gaze on me.
It takes me a couple heartbeats to break my focus from his eyes to the river again. "Yeah, it's gorgeous." I give him a sidelong glance. "This is actually a bit new to me. There's no river near ForestClan territory; only a pond -"
The Moonlight Pond. Hawkstrike and I stayed there for one night, talking to each other, gazing up at the stars, our pelts pressed up against each other the entire time. We were in love. It was obvious. His amber eyes were always gazing passionately into my own green ones, I swear it. Why did he decide to choose Rosebreeze instead of me? Why -
"Cedarfrost?"
Scamp's soft, cautious voice breaks my ranting thoughts for StarClan knows what time now. I look at him and see his amber eyes gazing with concern into my own green ones. I glance down and see once again my claws have dug themselves into the ground beneath me. My throat had tightened as if I were holding back a wail; but perhaps I am. A wail of distress. Of anger. Of all the emotions I have ever felt since I left almost two nights ago.
Already two nights.
Only two nights.
I don't know what to say to Scamp in this moment. But fortunately, and as if he could read my mind or feels what I want, he shakes it off and turns his attention back to the river. I do the same, discarding the incident.
A long moment of the river splashing and the birds cawing passes before either one of us speaks. And the one to speak first is Scamp, as always.
"Do you know how to catch fish?" his question comes calmly.
I look aside at him with a puzzled expression on my face. "No, I don't." Why would he want to know that? Instead, I ask in return, "Do you?"
He nods vigorously. Before I can even question him why in the world a kittypet would know how to catch fish, he answers, "You remember the old she-cat I told you about who taught me about herbs? Well, she also taught me how to catch fish. And, oh, how I can tell you how much better fish is than the hard food my housefolk gave me!" His eyes twinkle with a satisfied memory.
"I believe that," I comment. "I would think anything will be better than that kittypet slop. Even fish."
He then narrows his eyes at me, a hint of mischief glinting within the amber. "Have you ever had fish before?"
"No," I respond, a bit irritated. "Like I said before, I didn't grow up near a river. But I've heard many things about eating fish as fresh-kill, and most of it was not good or appetizing."
"Whelp, this is your lucky day!" Scamp bursts out immediately and crouches down at the edge of the bank, staring into the river.
I blink in confusion. "What? What are you doing?"
He looks back at me from his position. "I'm going to teach you how to catch your own fish, and then I want you to try it."
My eyes widen in shock. He cannot be serious. I am a cat, not a bear!
Before I can protest, he continues. "Come here and crouch beside me and I'll walk you through it. Watch me first, though."
After a few heartbeats of contemplating if I should obey him or not, I eventually, rather hesitantly do as he says. I wait for him to do something, say something, but he seems so intently focused on the water rushing past below us, so I do the same. But there is only water; what is he looking for?
Just then, I spot a flash of silver beneath the surface to my side and jump back as Scamp bursts into action. He shoots his paw underneath the water and quickly brings it back up again. Before I know it, there is a silver fish flopping on the bank beside us, and Scamp bends down and bites its neck, the fish going limp as it dies.
Scamp looks expectantly at me. "Want to try?"
I have to admit, that was pretty skilled. And I suppose it won't hurt to get some extra hunting tips from this tom before he leaves.
A strange pang within me comes and goes in the matter of a heartbeat.
"Sure." I shrug, discarding... whatever just happened to me.
"Awesome. Start by crouching at the edge of the bank like I did before," he begins instructing me. "You need to turn all your focus toward the water, looking for any sign of silver, which signifies a fish. Immediately when you see the silver, you need to shoot one paw into the water a whisker-length or two ahead of it. In order to pull it up and out, you need to hook your paw, like so." He lifts one of his paws up from the ground in a hook form, his claws unsheathed and pointing upward. "It makes it easier to hold the fish and pull it up with your claws sunken into it. Then you throw it on the ground and give the killing bite." After a while of me just standing there, he urges enthusiastically, "Go on, try it!"
I walk to the edge of the bank again and crouch down. Staring down into the rushing water, I try my best to turn all my attention toward it, blocking out any distractions, though I am very aware of Scamp gazing encouragingly at me. I shake my head to clear it and try harder. One, two, three, heartbeats, still no flash of silver. Four, five -
There!
I lunge forward as I shoot my paw beneath the surface.
And then I can feel my back feet scrambling on the collapsing sand as the bank gives way to my weight.
"Cedarfrost!"
And then I am surrounded by cold water, my vision darkened, my hearing muted. I flail my paws aimlessly, trying to break the surface, but the fast current only allows me to tumble along with it. My chest grows tight from lack of air.
But then I feel someone brush against me and pull on my scruff, bringing me upward. I finally break the surface, and I draw in the best breath of air I have ever had. I start to sputter and cough as my savior drags me across the river to an area in the bank where the sand meets directly with the water's edge. I am pulled up it and lie on the sand, continuingly coughing and taking heavy breaths.
After a long moment, I finally regain my normal breathing and the coughing calms down, though I am shivering with my cold, wet fur.
"Cedarfrost, are you all right?"
I look up and see Scamp standing over me. He wears a exceedingly worried expression, and his black fur is also drenched like mine. Anger boils within me, almost warming me up. I feel like something inside of me snaps, and without even realizing it, I push myself up. "All right?" I echo, growling fiercely. "I almost drowned, and all you ask is if I'm all right? This is all your fault! If you hadn't made me try to catch a fox-hearted fish, this wouldn't have happened to me! If you hadn't taken me to this stupid river in the first place, this wouldn't have happened!" I squeeze my eyes shut furiously, my legs shaking not from the coldness, but from rage. I snap them open and glare at Scamp with fire. "If you would have just left me alone and mind your own StarClan forsaken business then everything would be perfect!"
Except it wouldn't be perfect.
It's like I wake up from sleeping, and now I am aware of what I had just done as I look at Scamp. He has sadness in his eyes. Guilt. And his ears are flattened. My face softens instantly and I take a step back. "Scamp, I'm so sorry," I apologize greatly, softly. "I don't know what took me over. I just...."
I just what? Let my anger control me, like it always does? Maybe that's why Hawkstrike chose Rosebreeze over me. Because I can't be as passionate towards him as he was towards me. Because I let my anger at Rosebreeze take me over, forcing me to do the things I did.
I lie heavily down on the sand. I feel weak, and not just from my desperate struggle only a moment ago.
That is it. That is why.
Hawkstrike would never chose me in a million moons.
I release a long sigh.
Perfect.
Nothing can be perfect. Ever.
"It's okay, Cedarfrost," comes Scamp's gentle voice. "I don't blame you."
Who do you blame, then, if not me? I want to ask, but hold my tongue. I don't respond to him. Instead, I lick my fur, hoping to dry off and warm up sooner. The sun is sinking lower and lower into the sky, so there are not many rays of its warm light to help me. After a few moments of me doing so, Scamp moves closer to me and starts helping me, licking my fur in gentle, rhythmic laps, like a kit's mother or father would do.
And then all of a sudden, he licks one time on my cheek. I snap my head towards him and stare at him with wide eyes. Did he mean to do that...? He returns my gaze, looking at me with his warm amber eyes until he broke the connection.
"It's getting pretty late," Scamp states, looking at the setting sun. "We should get going back to the den now. It'll be warmer in there."
I nod my agreement and push myself up, and I am miraculously able to walk with no assistance with only stumbling two times on the way back to the tree den. Scamp pads beside me the entire way there, though we both silently agree to be quiet for now.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Wow. This is the longest part yet; over 3,000 words!
I hope you are enjoying this short story so far! Sadly, there is only one part left after this, but I think the journey writing it was very fun! :D
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