Chapter 22 is the beginning of the new chapters that haven't been posted. Thank you for your support!
:: C H A P T E R T W E N T Y - T W O | REVOLUTIONARIES WAIT ::
When I saw Karter's face I knew that he had wanted Kian. I didn't think that anyone — not even the most talented actor in the world — could hide the raw pain and surprise that flashed across his face. For a minute, Karter wasn't an actor or a man with a reputation to keep. He was only a father who'd lost the son he'd just begun to know.
He didn't deny it — something in our faces must have tipped him off — but he didn't look like he wanted to believe us.
I saw him swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing robotically. His smile had completely disappeared, replaced with a pinched mouth and distant eyes.
"Can we go now?" Meg tapped her spoon against her coffee cup. Hatred surged through me. Hatred for the way that she spoke about Kian's suicide in that cold, callous way of hers. For the way she carried a chip on her shoulder despite having everything she could possibly want.
Liam's eyes hardened imperceptibly, his eyes morphing in colour from cobalt to ice. "Not yet."
Karter frowned at the letter I'd shown him. "I remember writing this, but it wasn't meant meant for Kian."
"Was it meant for your other love child?" Meg slumped in her chair at the murderous look Liam sent in her direction.
Karter looked like he wanted to slap her. "It was meant for a designer who wanted me to wear one of his designs for the Oscars. It's courtesy to send a note declining the request," he forced out through gritted teeth.
"Did Cody mail both letters?" I dared to ask.
"Yes."
Looking around the table, I could guess what everyone thinking: my dad had been the one to send the icy rejection note to the wrong person.
Meg's face shifted into direction. I knew what she was going to say even before she opened her mouth.
"Cody might have mixed the letters up accidentally," Liam interjected.
"Or on purpose. Have nots always try to ruin our lives."
Karter inhaled through his nose, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand. "It does explain why Enzo sent me his design even though I told him no. I thought it was just because he only hears what he wants to hear."
Suddenly I couldn't do it. I couldn't sit at the same table as my father's boss, and look at Karter without feeling a surge of guilt. Whether he'd mixed up the letters on purpose or not, my father was the one responsible for the broken expression on Karter's face.
"I have to go." The chair scraped across the floor as I stood up abruptly.
"Are you all right?" Karter asked, the look on his face so kind that it made me want to cry. How could he be so good when he had just found out about Kian?
Why couldn't my dad be that good?
"I'm fine," I heard myself say. I reached for my bag, but my fingers trembled so badly that it slipped through my grasp and landed on the flour with a bang.
"I never got your name," Karter noted with a small, thoughtful frown. "I should know the names of Kian's friends."
"I never gave it. I'm sorry." I choked on a sob. Karter looked at me like I'd grown a third head. "I'm sorry," I repeated before rushing out of the shop
With shaking hands, I dialled my dad's number. It wasn't a smart thing to do nor was it a useful idea, but I felt as though I'd explode if I didn't curse at his voicemail for a few minutes.
"I hoped you're happy," I screeched after the voicemail tone beeped. I was too angry to be upset that he didn't pick up. "You're such a fucking bastard, Cody, and I hope you achieved what you wanted. I hate you, you sick bastard — hey!"
My phone was ripped out of my hand. Liam held it out of my reach which wasn't a hard thing to do, seeing as he was abominably tall and I was embarrassingly short.
I kicked him in the shin as hard as I could. "Give it back!"
"Shut it," he snapped back. Gingerly, he prodded his leg, scowling darkly when he hit the sore spot. "Don't dig yourself into a bigger hole than you're already in, Reed."
"My dad is a murderer! Am I supposed to be happy?"
"You don't know that."
"'Cause it's not like it all adds up or anything," I said sarcastically. "Like, it's not like it's suspicious that he was the one to mail the letter — who sends letters anymore anyway?"
"Someone whose email isn't secure — which Karter's isn't. Kian probably knew that he'd have a higher chance of getting noticed by Karter if he sent his letter by mail." Liam answered quietly. "I know it looks bad, but you should give your dad a chance to explain."
"Like you gave me a chance to explain what I was doing with Kian's journal?"
"Reed—"
"Whatever," I snapped. I wasn't being fair, but I couldn't help the caustic, perpetually pessimistic part of me from emerging. I was so, so tired of the blame game. "Let's ignore the problem. We're good at that, yeah?"
His eyes darkened as he dragged me over to a nearby park bench. Heat flared in my stomach as he flung himself next to me.
This was Liam. He'd kissed Meg to hurt me. I shifted away from him.
"Let's talk then."
"Let's not," I argued, knowing how childish I sounded. "Did Karter say where Cody is anyway?"
"Running errands," he answered, clearly not interested in that topic. "But we're not talking about them. We're talking about us."
"There isn't an us. There's me who doesn't want to talk and there's you who hasn't looked at me properly since we started this bloody trip."
"I was ashamed." His voice lowered, softening into something unfamiliarly tender. "I kissed Meg because I wanted to hurt you, right after I promised I wouldn't sink to that level. And then I found out why you flinch when someone touches you and why it's nearly impossible for you to trust anyone. I hurt you, and I hate myself for it."
I said nothing.
"And it made sense why you're so devoted to Kian and determined to get the story right despite barely knowing him. But," his voice hardened. "You still lied."
"I had no choice." It was a bad of me to shut down and refuse to cooperate, but I was angry at Liam for thinking that a heart-to-heart could make everything better.
It couldn't. Not when I saw Liam and thought of Meg's mouth fused with his.
His mouth pressed together in a hard line. "I asked you if you had Kian's journal and you lied. There's nothing more to it."
"I think you forget that you'd called me poor white trash two minutes before. I don't know about you, but I don't like helping people who think it's their job to make me feel inferior."
His eyes blazed, every inch of him rigid and vibrating with fury. "You had a thousand other opportunities, and you didn't take a single one! Sure, I made mistakes, but at least I tried to make amends."
I hated to admit that he was right. Liam wasn't perfect, but he'd certainly put more effort into fixing our messes than I had. I slumped against the bench with a hollow feeling in my stomach. We'd screwed up, and I didn't know if there was any point in trying to fix our problems anymore. "We're here for Kian." There was a long pause before I spoke again. "I think we should just focus on that."
"And we're supposed to forget about this?" He gestured between us.
"There's no point. I can't trust you and you can't trust me. That's pretty hard to get around."
He laughed, but it lacked humour. "You're scared."
"Of history repeating itself? Of me making mistakes and you kissing Meg to get back at me?" I shrugged. "Sure, but I'm smart enough to know when to end the cycle before it comes back to bite us in the ass."
"There's no cycle! We haven't even started." He reached for my hand, his fingers brushing my knuckles as I snatched it away.
"I'm sorry."
"No, you're not." His voice was harsh. "You'd at least give us a chance if you were."
"And then what?" I tasted bitterness, familiar and sour, in my mouth. "You're off to your fancy uni next near, and I'm getting out of Scire as soon as I get my diploma. I'm going to work my ass off to get what I want, and you're going to get everything handed to you on a silver platter."
He flinched. "That's not fair."
"There's no such thing as 'fair.' You should know that there is the people who get everything they want and then there's the people who give it their all and still get fucked over."
He reached for my hands again, his fingers twining through mine before I could pull away. "This isn't you, Reed. You're not this angry. You're not scared of going after the things you want."
"Can you blame me?" I asked, blinking away tears. "Your life is perfect. You don't know what it's like to have a mother who loves reporting on war more than talking to her own daughter. My dad doesn't even try to answer my calls anymore. I'm this nuisance to them, no matter how hard I try not to be."
He rested his forehead against mine, warm breath ghosting across my cheek. "How could I have missed it?"
"What?"
"You don't think you are, but I see it. Jules does too. You and Kian, you're the same."
"Were you guys talking about me?"
I felt him nod. "When we were at his house, yeah."
He shifted, his nose bumping against mine. "You're not a coward." He leaned closer, lips brushing mine briefly. "I know you're brave." He released my hands, his fingers trailing up my arms and cupping my cheek.
One move, one tiny shift and we'd be kissing. A part of me wanted to — God, I wanted to lean into his hands and let him kiss me — but the other, bigger part of me knew it was a bad idea. Kisses weren't band aids, and they weren't going to fix our messed-up relationship.
I pulled away. "Not brave enough to kiss a boy who kissed my worst enemy to hurt me."
His face fell. It was a low blow, but I couldn't pretend that I wasn't hurt and angry.
Liam rubbed his temples with his fingers. "I hate myself for it, Reed." His eyes were desperate. "I was just so angry that you'd lie to me."
"Everyone lies." I curled my legs underneath me. "Some more than others, but we all lie. We can't help it."
"That's why I like you so much." He leaned into the bench and laughed slightly. "You're honest. And when you lied it felt like I didn't know you at all."
I looked over at him, my eyes studying every angle of his face. He'd really only been in my life for a little over a month, but I knew his face better than I knew my mother's. But it wasn't enough.
"When you kissed Meg it felt I didn't know you either. And I think that I still don't."
I spotted Davina and Meg walking out of the shop with Karter in tow. Grateful for the distraction, I stood up, careful to avoid Liam's eyes.
I'd said no to the possibility of us. Perhaps I was walking away from the great chance of love that everyone seemed so obsessed with, but it was preferable to a broken heart. Liam was kind, but he wasn't a saint. And unfortunately, my mistakes seemed to have the consequence of driving him into Meg's arms.
"We explained everything to Karter." Davina said, appearing by my side. She threw a dirty look at Meg. I could guess how smoothly that talk had gone.
Karter sat on the bench next to Liam. He smiled, but it was weak and faltered when he looked at me. "You're Cody's daughter. You look exactly like him."
I blinked, it wasn't the sort of thing I wanted to hear, especially when my father was the one who had made an unfixable mistake. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." His hands clenched into fists. "I should have sent gone to the post office myself. Hell, I should've gone to Scire the minute I got Kian's letter."
"It's not your fault either."
"I don't know what to think — that's the problem. I can't see Cody doing it on purpose, but maybe I just don't know him well enough."
We watched him stand up and walk away, his shoulders slumped and his head bowed. This was my father's fault. Even if he'd accidentally mixed up the letters, his mistake had terrible consequences. A boy had died. An excuse and a pretty apology wouldn't change anything.
I looked at Liam. I thought about my father. And I realized that I didn't understand either of them.
***
We reached Scire three days after we met Karter. The majority of the car ride had been spent in silence as Davina drove us home. Liam hadn't even protested when Davina had snatched his keys and announced that she was driving. She'd barely spoken the entire trip, and I think she wanted the distraction.
Davina dropped Meg off first before heading in the direction of Stan's Photo. She pulled to a stop in front of the store, only pausing to say goodbye, before grabbing her bag and walking away.
We climbed out of the back seat, settling in the front before Liam spoke. "Do you want a milkshake?"
"Just take me home please." I leaned my head against the headrest, hoping that Liam wasn't going to try starting another heart-to-heart conversation. I was drained, and I wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed. I didn't want to discuss feelings.
He didn't talk again until he lurched to a stop. "Reed ..."
"What?"
"Do you know that woman?"
I glanced out of the window at the stranger banging on my front door. Her golden hair was pulled in messy ponytail with stray hair flying everywhere. She wore olive khakis and a beige tank top with hiking boots laced tightly around her ankles.
In an instant, I was out of the car and running down the path that led to the front door. "Mom?"
She whipped around, slanted amber eyes narrowing. "Where have you been?"
She was furious, and I stumbled into Liam who'd followed me out of the car. But it wasn't her anger that scared me.
Her eyes.
"Mom," I began, feeling like everything had fallen into place and fallen apart at the same time. "Do I have a brother?"
***