If I go, I move on from this, from him.
If I stay, I put up with the consequences that decision unfortunately comes with.
"This is a bad idea for both of us Rafe" I whisper, trying not to let those magnetic blue eyes pull me in.
"It doesn't feel like a bad idea" he murmurs. Lightly tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, his finger lingering on my cheek causing my skin to heat up.
I let out a sigh, my eyes flickering over his face carefully, taking in each feature as if I'm admiring a work of art.
"You're making it so hard to leave"
"Then don't" his fingers now tracing along my shoulder and down my arm, until his hand is in mine, holding it gently.
"If I were to stay, I'd want some things to change" I murmur, my voice gaining a little more firmness and strength back.
"Mmh hmm, anything" he hums back, not seeming like he's taking my words all that seriously.
I let go of his hand, shaking my head.
"I mean it Rafe, I want some sort of... confirmation"
His brows knit together and an amused smile spreads over his face.
"You want me get down on my knees and beg or something?" He chuckles, his tone dripping in sarcasm.
My eyebrows raise and I pout my lips, as if I'm actually considering this idea.
"That doesn't sound so bad-"
"No" He interrupts me quickly, shaking his head firmly, his lips sat in a straight line.
"Fine. But I do want you to promise me some things" I tell him in an assertive manner, gulping down my nerves as I try to keep up this confident demeanour.
His eyes narrow, his tongue poking into the inside of his cheek as he watches me for a moment.
This stubborn dickhead isn't taking me seriously.
"Or not" I continue as I turn to reach for the handle of his bedroom door.
He lets out a groan before grabbing my arm and spinning me around. "Alright fine, what do I have to promise"
"I want you to start treating me better" I mutter sheepishly, finding it hard to even try telling him what to do.
He lets out a small laugh, the mockery making me feel even more embarrassed.
"Fine, is that it?" He chuckles.
I shake my head, staying quiet for a moment lost in thought.
"Until I notice a change in how you act towards me... no more sex"
Just like that, his smugness is completely wiped away.
I watch as his eyes widen in disbelief as his lips fall into a small frown. "You're kidding right?"
"Nope" i smile, unable to hold in that little bit of arrogance seeping through.
He glares at me like he wants to actually kill me, his jaw tightening before letting out a sharp exhale.
"Fine" he grunts through gritted teeth.
"And keep this between us. you can consider this a... test run until I decide I really want to be with you again"
He rolls his eyes, humming dismissively in agreement.
I can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction when I realise I've completely overruled him without slipping up once.
For once he never intimidated me into giving him what he wants, I actually held some sort of ground around him.
Sure it might've only been for five or so minutes, but I still did it nonetheless.
"I should go, before my dad files a missing persons report" I tell him as I make my way for the bedroom door.
"You not gonna give me a kiss before leaving?"
I let out a small huff but can't help but smile as I turn around to face him once again.
I lean up, placing my lips on his for barely a second, a frustrated groan coming from him when our mouths separate.
"There. Happy?"
"Not in the slightest" he mumbles before grabbing my chin, smashing his lips against mine roughly.
The forcefulness of the kiss makes me stumble backwards, my body hitting the door with a quiet thud.
One of my hands find its way to the nape of his neck, holding him close against me.
"Rafe I need to go" I whisper against his lips, my spare hand moving to his chest to lightly push him away.
He stares down at me, his lips separated as he breathes at an increased speed.
"Do you have to?" He whispers.
I nod slowly, giving him a small smile.
"Okay" he murmurs, pecking my lips softly.
____________
"Dad?" I call out as I swing the front door closed, kicking my shoes off and walking into the foyer.
"Oh look who it is" I hear a voice reply, a voice that certainly isn't my Dad's.
Fuck, I forgot about jj.
I had texted him last night telling him that I saw Sarah at the party and decided to stay for a little while longer.
I feel shitty for lying to him, but it's for his own good.
Well that's what I've been trying to tell myself anyway.
"Didn't know you were working today" I force a smile as I approach him.
"Mhm" he hums, eyeing me up and down before giving me a suspicious look.
"Just getting home?" He chuckles, looking down at his watch before looking back at me.
I let out an awkward laugh, avoiding eye contact with the blonde.
"I stayed at Sarah's"
He furrows his brows, biting the inside of his cheek as if he's hesitating on what he's wanting to say.
"Oh right" he replies nonchalantly, giving me a tight lipped smile.
I know exactly what he's wanting to ask, he's wanting to check and see that I never ended up bumping into Rafe. given the fact that him and Sarah live together.
"Have a nice night?" He hums as he walks through to the kitchen.
I thank god that he's not facing me right now, having to lie straight to his face about the events that took place last night would kill me.
"Meh... bit boring" I keep my tone aloof as I speak, following behind him into the kitchen.
"Must've been good enough that you stayed all night" he laughs.
Well he definitely isn't wrong about that.
"I hadn't seen Sarah in a while, it was nice catching up" I lie... again.
I really am considering just telling him the truth, I really am.
but the outcome of telling him, versus not, does not play out so well in my head.
"Ah... how is she?" He asks as he stays distracted with making something to eat.
"Uh good, she seemed fine anyway"
He hums in reply before walking over to me with a smile, passing me a plate that holds a sandwich.
I furrow my brows in confusion and laugh.
"Why did you make me this?"
"Presumed all the sex you had last night would've made you hungry" he grins, nudging the plate into my hand.
My face immediately drops, the skin on my face prickling uncomfortably.
"What?" I murmur.
He doesn't say anything, instead he taps his neck with his finger, nodding his head towards mine.
My hand instantly flies to my neck, covering what I presume is a hickey.
Rafe definitely done that on purpose.
Asshole.
"Who was he?" He asks, his grin widening as he sees my face heating up in complete humiliation.
"Just some random tourist" I tell him, my face cringing up as I lie.
He snickers, shaking his head.
"You knowww... if you wanted to get over Rafe you could've came to me"
I roll my eyes and swat his shoulder playfully, the hint of a smile showing on my face.
"Hello you two" i hear from the entry way to the kitchen, quickly turning my head to see my dad smiling at us.
I reciprocate the smile as jj gives him a small wave.
"Have a nice night?" My dad asks as he places his briefcase down on the counter.
"Annie did" jj snickers, my hand immediately hitting him in the stomach, giving him a side glare.
"That's good" my dad speaks in a way that shows he really couldn't care less.
Ever since me and Rafe broke up, he's been a whole different level of cold with me. He really doesn't let his disappointment in me go unnoticed.
"How was work?" I ask, leaning my hands on the kitchen island in front of me.
"Fine" He shrugs his shoulders, not even bothering to look at me or pay me any attention.
Before I can say another word, he's already talking.
"Ward has invited us over for dinner tonight. I'd like you to come"
Within an instant, I'm shaking my head in disagreement.
"Not a chance" I tell him.
His gaze flickers between me and jj a couple of times, before landing on jj.
"jj, could you give us a minute?" He asks, although sounding more like a demand than a request.
"Yup" he nods, swiftly exiting the kitchen.
My dad watches him leave before turning to me, a hardened expression on his face.
"You're coming tonight, it's not up for discussion"
"I'm not having dinner with my ex boyfriend and his family!" I snap at him.
"Enough with the attitude. I told you it's not up for discussion!" He raises his voice at me, causing me to flinch.
I notice his face soften for a moment, before letting out an exasperated sigh.
"Stop arguing with me. You're coming and that's it" he tells me in a stern voice before walking off and out of the room, leaving me stood there alone.