summary: their love is toxic, but they keep coming back even when they know they shouldn't.
SHE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS. she knew she shouldn't, but she felt she had to, as if an invisible string tied them together. a string that should've burned like their relationship had.
but there was something so addicting to the idea of being with him, even if all her friends had told her not to. he was a drug she couldn't quit, and neither could he.
their dream should've died when she first packed her bags and flew halfway cross the world, but without her dose of him, she'd come crawling back to him.
every time she told him it was for the last time, they both knew it was a lie. one way or another, they'd show up on each other's doorstep weeks after their last 'last' hookup.
they knew they were toxic together, chemicals that hadn't meant to be mixed, yet they came back every time, always exploding into chemical fire.
they'd created a drug out of their relationship, bliss and then heartbreak. it seemed the only things they did best together was arguing and sex. what went wrong with them?
could it have been the day-to-day fights, screaming matches that'd result in numerous noise complaints? could it have been the jealousy and possessiveness whenever she so much as walked by another guy? she wouldn't know, and neither would he.
now it was like a cycle, reappearing in each other's lives when they knew it was for the best that they shouldn't see each other. but she needed her dose of him, no matter how many times the people in her life pleaded with her to quit, she wouldn't - couldn't - because it wasn't that easy. they wouldn't understand.
she couldn't give up the way he made her feel. she wanted to feel his lips against her skin, something he deprived her of when the relationship died because it was 'too intimate.' he didn't want to mix feelings into their supposed-to-be meaningless hookups. they didn't need another burn to whatever they were.
yet they kept coming back, and they would keep coming back. no one knew and they wouldn't have to. it was a toxic secret that'd never leave their lips, one that would stay in the bedroom. but how many secrets could they keep?
she sighed, a cloud of her warm breath visible in the winter air. it'd gotten much colder since she last saw him. she tried to stay away as long as she could, swearing that the last time was truly the last time she'd see him. she lasted longer than she would've thought, longer than what he'd expected too.
she half expected him to find her instead, middle of the night pounding on the door to let him in, be gone before morning. usually, he wasn't this patient.
her cold fist hovered over the dark green of his front door, her knuckles a light red. she still had time to turn back, to keep the promise she had swore she wouldn't break when she last left down the very steps she now stood on.
she had the choice, turn her back on him forever and give up on whatever they had together, or knock on the door and accept that this would keep happening for as long as she let it, and what she let happen was already too much.
she knocked three times, too light to be heard, but it gave her a chance to back down, to change her mind. she chose to knock again, much louder though it hurt her hand. she heard the latch unlock not long after, a sound she grew familiar with.
"was wonderin' how long it'd take you to come crawlin' back," he spoke to her, an amused tone laced into his words as he leaned against the doorframe with his arm stretched to hold the door open.
"you act like you're any better," she retaliated and he shrugged, a smirk growing on his face as he just watched, not letting her in. "are you goin' to let me in or what?"
lando shook his head in amusement, lifting the arm that held the door open just enough for her to duck under and into the warmth of his foyer.
"i had a feelin' you were coming," he closed the door, locking it again, "though I couldn't say I expected to see you this early." he turned towards her, a look she couldn't describe hidden in his eyes, her favorite eyes.
it was odd for the both of them, their hookups taking place after the sun had set for the night. so for her to show up hours before was different, they didn't know what to do.
they stood awkwardly in the front room, just avoiding eye contact and no words leaving their lips. he moved slowly, stopping right in front of her, "let me get your coat," he muttered, scratching the back of his neck as he waited for her to slip off the puffy jacket.
she handed it to him, "thanks." he nodded, turning and hanging it on the coat rack near the door. she looked around as he did so, and though it'd been months, nothing's changed, just like them.
figures that seemed to be stuck in time while the world kept moving around them. they were stuck in a loop they'd never escape.
they basked in the silence between them as they just stood for a while. they didn't know what to do with the time. it was so unusual to see each other before midnight and any time after 2 am.
they only had time for sex nowadays, but now they have all the time in the world. the last time they had a proper conversation was the night she left, the night they broke up.
they had known the breakup was coming, months of arguments over minuscule things that didn't matter showed them the people they had become. they changed for the worst because the one time they sat down together, it was to end them.
it was for the best, truly. many people could testify that because no one tried to stop it, it spoke volumes about how bad they were for each other.
but it felt so good because less than two weeks later, she found herself back in his bed, a start to the now never-ending cycle.
she almost stopped it, she knew she should've, but the high he gave her was something she'd never find in anyone else. even when she never thought to search for it in another person, she was too busy being his to fall for somebody new.
it's been a year since it all started and it had the looks of never stopping until she hadn't seen him for nearly three months. neither would end up quitting though, it wasn't in their nature to.
"would you like something to drink?" he broke the silence, she wasn't expecting him to. he wasn't that type of person.
she tried to speak but her voice was caught in her throat, clearly she needed it. she cleared her throat, "sure." she spoke simply now, and for a reason he wouldn't know, not now at least, it killed a part of him.
he nodded once, placing a hand on her hip to squeeze by with the space he had. the contact was quick, but it left her standing for a while. it was so small, but it meant so much. it meant more to her than the nights with him ever had.
no matter how badly they clashed, it never stopped the want of being with him. maybe it was the reason she kept crawling back to him, the reason the lack of intimate touch was so detrimental to her, the reason she was here now.
she came back to her senses when he called out to her from the other side of the hall, voice echoing off the walls right back to where she stood. "coming?" she saw the shadow of his silhouette lurking behind the corner, clearly waiting for her to follow as if she hadn't remembered the layout of his house from the time she had lived here.
"yeah," she spoke quietly, "coming." she wasn't sure if this was the right choice to make. after all the time she'd spent making sure she stayed away, it was to no avail. she could still leave, the door was barely three steps away.
yet she knew if she left right now, she wouldn't be able to face him again. she couldn't when she had been the one to turn up this time, but she got her dose, sort of. the contact of his hand on her was nearly enough and not at the same time. she couldn't leave without feeling the satisfaction of his touch on her. not when she's this close.
she sighed, pulling herself out of her trance to follow him, quickly kicking off her shoes, leaving them lazily in a pile by the shoe rack. she didn't want to track dirt across his house, especially when he was kind enough to let her in.
when she worked up the courage to finally face him, dragging her feet across the wooden floors to catch up to him waiting at the corner for her just to say, "gettin' lost already now?" his tone was lighthearted, paired with a smirk on his face that she'd seen way too many times, she wouldn't complain.
she wouldn't complain when he held his hand out to her, her heart skipping several beats. she looked up at him, unsure if that's what he truly meant when he reached out. her eyes and heart filled with hope as his hand twitched towards her.
"so you don't get lost," he said, though the pitch of his voice indicated to her an underlying meaning to his actions. at least that's what she hoped. her hand slipped into his, lacing her fingers with his. the feeling of his skin against hers, though just hands, caused a fire to ignite between her thighs, it felt right. surely she can't leave now, maybe now he'll give her what she wants, maybe. she could only hope.
and so she did, hands interlocked with her ex as he pulled her through the halls to his open kitchen, whatever light still left outside as the sun began to set leaked through the windows. it was as beautiful as the day she left, considering he kept most of her design choices throughout.
though she wishes he didn't drop her hand when they entered the room, her disappointment was somewhat swept away as he pulled out a chair for her to sit at the round table. her stomach fluttered. when she settled, he went to prepare their drinks. Maybe this wasn't a bad idea.
but she couldn't help but raise a brow at his unusual behavior, considering that, normally, he wouldn't even think about laying a finger on her, during sex or not. now he had held her hand and pulled out a chair for her while he made drinks for them.
she watched his back while he moved about the space, pulling mugs from the cabinet, including one of her favorites. he'd gotten it for her when they first started dating, and she often thought of shattering it, like he'd done to her heart on several occasions, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.
he almost did it. when he wandered aimlessly through his house, any artifact of her memory nearly sent him over the edge. their hook-ups were meaningless so why? why was it so gut-wrenching to imagine her finding someone better, but hating seeing reminders of her? he'd tried his best to keep feelings out of the bedroom.
he felt himself getting angrier as he spent more time thinking about it, placing the ceramic onto the counter harsher than intended. she was all he could think of, he'd dreamt about her nearly every night the week leading to her return. he knew in his heart she'd be back, crawling back to him because she did every time.
he let out a shaky sigh, clenching his eyes momentarily as he held both mugs by the handle. the heat radiated off them, it reminded him of her, that split second of warmth he'd feel from her post-sex body next to him under the covers before he'd rush her out. he didn't allow feelings to manifest, he wouldn't. maybe he hadn't done the best job, only time could tell.
her mug clattered onto the table before he slid it in front of her as he sipped his, taking a seat in the chair across from her. her eyes landed on the drink, eyeing the floating marshmallows. hot chocolate, her favorite winter drink. he remembered and the thought of it caused a smile to rise on her lips.
it was such a small, insignificant gesture most would've overlooked, but she noticed and it meant the world to her. a warmth spreading in her chest and her cheeks hurt from smiling so hard.
neither of them spoke for a while, sipping their beverages while they avoided each others gaze. they knew they should talk, they knew they should stop whatever's going on between them. the burn of their relationship had healed but was bound to be replaced eventually.
finding the words to say was finding the right solution to pour into the chemicals they'd already had. he'd been going back and forth over what beaker to pour, what he could say to keep a conversation alive without spilling the wrong contents.
"so, couldn't keep away in the end?" he asked before sipping his hot chocolate. a safe enough question to ask, but teetering on the edge. he hadn't questioned her patterns of showing up at his door, only letting her in without question.
she was mid sip when he first started talking, rolling her eyes at his smug question, but it was true. as much as she hated to admit, she couldn't keep away, and the longer she was away, the more of him she craved. she was an addict, and she couldn't quit.
she paused before answering, it'd given her time to think before she spoke, "this is the last time, i mean it," she spoke seriously, but he brushed it off as a joke.
"and that isn't the first time i've heard you say that, love," his head titled, though not meant condescendingly, it felt like it. he took a sip before continuing, " 'm startin' to think you don't mean it."
"yeah, well i almost left, y'know," her voice was quiet when she spoke, her fingers following the grooves of the table while he just stared at her, a look in his eyes she couldn't explain.
realization sank in his heart when she said that. maybe she didn't need him as much as he thought, but considering she chose to come back, maybe she did. he could only hope.
he had to know, he couldn't just not ask, "why'd you stay?" his voice was hushed, mug abandoned on the center of the table. his full attention was on her for the words he didn't realized he yearned to hear.
" 'm doesn't matter," she shook her head, brushing off the topic because it wasn't something she'd admit to his face. she didn't want to ruin what little bit of him she had.
"i beg to differ."
she sighed through her nose, shaking her head again with a smile tugging on the corner of her lips. he always had to hear what she had to say, that hadn't changed and she didn't want it to.
but she couldn't tell him, not now when they're on the path she's been waiting to take since that first night. she'd been reaching for the potential outcome for too long, she almost gave it up.
he knew he wouldn't get it out of her. he had to let it go, for now. he just admired her for a while. so much about her has changed since he last saw her three months ago.
her hair had streaks of highlights that complimented her now paled skin from the lack of summer sun, which caused the freckles on her face to fade.
her eyes were brighter now, and he wouldn't miss how her pupils dilated when he opened the door to let her in. He didn't know what to think of it, but his dick did. he hid it well.
"are you just going to stare at me this whole time?" she spoke humorously with a smile, hoping to spark a start to playful banter like they used to. he didn't respond, too in his head to absorb her words.
he took the empty mugs, very much in thought when he completely ignored when she spoke, not purposefully. her smile slowly fell as she watched the not-all-there lando drag his feet to the kitchen. it hurt.
it hurt and she didn't want it to because she knew she deserved better, but she didn't want better. she just wanted him. yet she couldn't have him even if he was right in front of her.
she had enough. she stood and followed him to the sink, ignoring how good he looked in the heather grey shirt, his shoulder blades visible through the material.
"why are you doing this?" her voice was hushed, cracking in her throat. he almost couldn't hear her over the running faucet.
"doing what? the washing?" he didn't pick up on the underlying seriousness in her tone she'd've hoped he would've. instead he rebuked it. nothing had been serious about them for a while, why should it now?
"making it hard for me to turn my back on you?"
she saw the moment his movements froze, she could predict his heart did too. the ceramics clattering in the sink and the silence after turning the sink off would've told her she had his full attention now. she watched the rise and fall of his shoulders, how his head turned before his body. A look on his face that told her everything she needed to know.
"hey." he called out to her softly at first.
she would've been by the door if his reflexes weren't so sharp. his still wet hand latching onto her wrist to keep her from leaving forever, "hey!" he pulled her back though she didn't make it more than a few steps.
water droplets dripped down her arm, reminding her on the touch of his skin on hers. he just looked at her confused, he hadn't even said a word. he added fuel to the fire without knowing.
"what's going on with you?" an argument brewed, though they hadn't fought in a while, they knew what was coming.
she scoffed, trying to pry herself from his grasp, "just let me leave, you've done enough."
except he didn't know what he did besides staying quiet. mixing nothing at all turned out worse than the chemicals themselves.
but he wouldn't let it end like this, not like the hundred other times. "so you're just going to leave behind what we have?"
"what we have is nothing!" she finally broke free of his hold, turning to him fully with tears in her eyes that she wished she didn't, "you won't even touch me when we fuck, or even let me say your name because its 'too intimate!'"
"i didn't want to mix feelings with us," his voice was raspy and hushed, a great contrast to her emotional, raised voice. he wanted nothing more than to wipe away the tears he knew he caused.
"you already have," she whispered, shaking her head as she wiped her tears when she wished he was the one to do so, even if he caused it. "you just don't realize it yet." a sad smile played on her lips as she stared up at him, watching his gaze jumps between both of her eyes.
she wanted to leave so bad, to end this chapter of her life that'd been written on for too long, but she knew the restlessness that lied ahead and she wasn't sure if she was ready to give him up either. she deserved better, she knew that, but she didn't want better, she wanted him.
no matter what, she'd find herself crawling back to him. she wouldn't stop until she knew. they both wanted to know, if their feelings flowed both ways through their veins, for each other.
"clearly coming here was a mistake," her tone was venomous and she was looking to bite back, to let it seep down into the skin and veins of the person she faced in the moment. the person who wouldn't give her that feeling, even when he was dying to feel it too.
"don't," he practically growled under his breath at the comment she made, it made him furious for her to even think about him being a mistake. "don't say that." his eyes were cold and stoic, but she saw right through the facade he put up, the shield he protected himself with, his feelings too.
she scoffed, pursing her lips as she stared up at him. she fought hard to hide the feeling in her heart, the feeling that he might finally give her what she's been wanting for months.
it was bittersweet, she hadn't thought it through on what it might do to what's left of their relationship because they surely couldn't get back together. not when she promised her friends she wasn't seeing him.
but she wasn't one to keep her promises lately, she knew that and felt guilty. she promised both her friends and lando she wasn't coming back. she still did.
"you know it's true though," her head tilted to the side, a saddened expression taking over her face.
his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes were desperate. damn his pretty eyes. the way his lips moved when he spoke, "let me prove it wasn't." she couldn't deny him when he sounded the way he did.
"how-"
his lips pressed against hers before she could finish what she was saying. it felt so wrong, but so right. like he was picking the lock to her heart that had long closed.
her heart wrenched for more when it only lasted a short second, he was clearly unsure of his actions and the consequences they'll have. but the look in her eyes when she stared back at him, her hand over his that rested against her cheek, gave him his answer.
she groaned lowly when his lips found hers again, hands tangled in his curls while his found the back of her neck, pulling her deeper into the kiss while his lips ate her away.
the kiss melted her brain, the dopamine levels in her body increasing ten fold. fuck, it was nearly too good, the push and pull dynamic of their lips making it hard to ever separate. they didn't care in the moment how badly this could effect their relationship, or how good.
the way he'd nip at her bottom lip, waiting for the perfect time to slip his tongue into her mouth. Though he was desperate to touch her, to feel her, he took his sweet time. He wanted to savor the taste of her on his tongue, she tasted just like chocolate, and now he did too.
It was sweet, nothing bitter anymore when the static of her thoughts honed in on the two of them together.
it became clear as their bodies pressed one another, wandering hands down their sides and the disregard of the need to breathe, that this could be a huge mistake.
the taste of him enveloped her mouth, a mix of the strong coffee taste she only liked coming from him and faint chocolate. it was a whole new drug in her system that'd never be beat by anything or anyone else, already addicted.
when they parted with heavy breaths and longing hands, they realized there was no going back. they had the choice to stop what was happening to salvage what they could, or sacrifice everything.
the choice was clear when the back of her thighs met the round table, his hands groping at her tight-covered flesh just below her denim skirt. his forehead against hers as he watched her glossy lips become a swollen pink, feeling his mouth salivate at the sight.
he wanted to taste more than just her lips, his knee nudging into the space between her thighs to rub against her clothed cunt. a whimper slipped out of her mouth while a smirk appeared on his, his hands creeping up her to her hips, forcing her to rut on his thigh.
the friction of the cloth against her clit caused her knees to buckle under her, falling into lando's chest. she felt his chuckle, but she was too busy finding pleasure on his thigh to tell him off for it.
she whined when he slowed her to a stop, but she was quickly shushed, "patience, sweetheart," he pushed her chin up, her hazed doe eyes forced to look back at him, "let's move this upstairs, m'kay?"
she shook her head, " 'm need you right now though."
the second the words left her lips, he sat her on the table by snaking his hands to the back of her thighs and picking her up. he stepped between her legs before they could close, "want me to eat you out, hm? fuck you across this table 'till your skin turns red?" his mouth was to her ear, hand across her skin while her head shot back, exposing her neck to his lips.
trailing down her neck, he left numerous marks as he nipped at her skin. he felt the whines against his lips when they left her throat, he held back a sly smile.
he was like a vampire with how much he lingered on her skin, leaving fresh, red love bites all across her flesh. he only separated temporarily to peel her shirt off her body.
"fuck," he groaned lowly against her chest as he reconnected his lips to her tits just above the material of the bra he had yet to take off, "you're so fucking gorgeous."
but he would when his hands traveled to the clasp, and, as always, waited for her 'yes' to continue. she gave it every time, this time being no different.
he had it off within less than a second of her response, slipping it through her arms and disregarding it across the kitchen to be forgotten about. his hands were on her in record time.
it'd been so long since she felt his hands on her, that she'd nearly forgot the feeling. His callused hands roamed across her body and he couldn't help but grab at her tits. her moans were music to his ears, he couldn't get enough of her.
he just had to have handfuls of her, it only felt natural. it was like he was made to please her, and he would. after all this time being scared of pushing her away because his feelings never left, it turned out hers didn't either.
he took his time exploring her body, though he had every inch of her skin memorized. trails of saliva glistened in the faded light down her neck and through the valley of her chest, before his tongue swirled slowly around her sensitive nipples.
her head threw back at the sensation, knotting his curls through her fingers at a weak attempt to push his lips further onto her skin. it only made him pull his tongue from her body, muttering lowly, "behave, i'll give you what you want, darlin'."
she whined, tugging at his hair before his lips found her once again, skipping past her stomach to the hem of her denim skirt, sneakily unbuttoning it before pulling the zipper down with his teeth.
fuck, it was a glorious sight, her man kneeling below her with the denim of her skirt between his teeth. pulling it down ever so slightly, lifting her hips as she fell to lay back on the table.
it took a torturous amount of time for him to finally get it to her knees to just slip off. the layer of tights stood as another obstacle though it proved to be a very minor one when he tore it from her body.
"hey!" she propped herself on her elbows the best she could with the space she had. her scolding didn't stop him.
"i'll buy you more," he shushed her, finally ridding her legs of the hosiery, the only thing left being her delicate lace panties. he smirked at the sight, running his thumb over the wet patch from her cunt, receiving a low groan in return.
he was more gentle removing her underwear, fearing the scold that would've followed. she hissed at the air, cold compared to her heat.
a strained moan escaped her throat when he pulled her against his clothed bulge, her sensitive clit rubbing on the material of his grey sweatpants. her back arched at the need to feel him, to have him. he ran his hands up the curve of her body before returning his hands to her hips.
he rocked her against his sweatpants, groaning at the growing darkened area on his crotch from her slick. the friction of the cloth against her cunt as he pushed himself closer caused strangled whimpers from her lips as her arms went above her head to grip the edge of the table.
it was too much. the pleasure caused by the dragging of her cunt against the once dry cloth, the burn on the back of her thighs from repeatedly rasping against him, the bucking of her hips when his thumb pressed her clit.
"makin' a mess on me, love." amusement traveled into his words as he watched her come undone as her eyes changed and her moans became closer together, that caused the lack of response.
the familiar tension building in her lower stomach as he rut her hips quicker, the veins in his arms popping with more effort from him. strings of curses followed by high-pitched moans as he sped up, untying the knot in her as she came messily on his sweatpants.
she sighed when he took a step back, smirking at the sticky residue left on him. now that he gave her partially what she wanted, he picked her up carefully. He watched her dazed eyes as he carefully carried her through the house and up the stairs to his dimly lit room.
it was clear he wasn't expecting company, especially with how late she showed. clothes were strung about the room and wrappers left on almost every surface he had, unmade bed with blankets halfway off the mattress.
"how romantic," she commented dryly, looking up at him with a sly smile before gasping when he lightly threw her on the bed.
"you say anything else, and i won't let you cum," he leaned in over her closely as she let out a breathy laugh. he pulled his shirt over his head hastily, followed by his sweatpants and boxers. his body hovered over hers, trailing his hands once again across her skin when her back arched to bump his chest.
his hands greedily touched her, once again waiting patiently for her confirmation, " 'm waitin' for the magic words, love." his head tilted to the side.
"fuck- yes, please." she replied breathily, arms above her head before looking down confused, "no condom?" she didn't mind it, she was just curious of the change.
he thought for a second, "i think i have some in the drawer," he began to pull away to turn his nightstand, but she halted his actions.
" 'ts fine, lan," she looked at him when she propped herself up with her elbows, watching him as he paused his way to the drawer.
he looked back and forth, "are you sure?" typically when their hookups were nothing more than sex, they'd use the protection, regardless if she was on the pill. for her to tell him that they didn't need it suggested that this meant more than he thought.
she nodded in confirmation as his body found itself back on top of her and his lips by her ear again, "words, darlin'."
"yes, 'm sure," she looked into his green eyes, they were always her favorite, still are.
her swollen, parted lips looked too tempting not to kiss again. he'd be teetering on the edge of insanity if he didn't get a taste of her again soon.
foreheads and bodies pressed together, stray moans hummed into each other's lips while they rocked their bodies together.
he nipped at her skin, pulling away with her bottom lip between his teeth. he dipped down to her neck, leaving stray kisses along her collarbone. he watched with his head pressed to her skin as he teased his cock between her folds.
she tugged at his knotted curls, whining at the pleasure she couldn't quite grasp, only he could give her. her hips bucked when his cock grazed her clit, goosebumps rising on her skin from the cold rings on his fingers when his hands pinned down her hips.
the simple silver chain necklace he always wore dangled onto her skin the closer he laid to her, only temporarily lifting while he watched himself disappear into her cunt. he groaned lowly, "fuck, you feel so good."
her back arched to hit his chest, letting out strangled words in response, "please," she begged, but he didn't know what for.
"please what?" it was clear he was amused by her inability to speak, rocking his hips ever so slightly with his finger on her clit that it drove her insane. when she didn't respond, he pushed away so he was no longer hovering over her though his cock was still buried inside her, moving at a continual slow pace.
but it felt like enough, the slow push of his cock with his finger practically massaging her clit was enough to make her eyes roll back and her jaw slack. she grasped at the bedding above her head because she didn't know what to do with her hands.
he could tell she was nearly at her high by the way she desperately squeezed around him and how her knuckles turned white from how tight she was gripping the sheets. he didn't break his pace, but pushed into her harder, listening to the breathy moans that she let out.
it came so slow, but so pounding. so slow, if it was anyone else, she would've been left unsatisfied, but because it was him, it was jaw-dropping. the way her whole body trembled and her jaw, that was open with anticipation, had clenched shut. her eyes half-dazed when she let go of the sheets.
but he didn't just stop there, and he didn't just gradually increase the pace of his thrusts. instead he nearly pulled out before slamming back into her cunt.
she screamed out, mixing with moans as the speed of his thrusts quickened. her arms snaked around to the back of his neck, forcing him back down to her level. their foreheads pressed together with intense eye contact as he pounded into her.
her hands travelled down to his back, her nails clawing deep down his perfect skin, it was sure to leave multiple marks for a while. the skin of his back turning bright red, like the tops of his thighs and the back of hers.
their highs came fast and hard. they didn't last with the pace lando kept, though it was starting to falter the more he felt the knot come undone. he nearly collapsed on top of her, rolling off to the side when he pulled out.
they were exhausted, sleepy eyes watching each other as he cleaned her, fed her food he fetched from the kitchen, after cleaning up the stray clothes, before falling asleep in each other's arms.
the coming morning was hard because she never made it this far. she'd gotten her hit and then some, she hadn't anticipated this as ever happening again, but it did. she didn't know what to do, she was only used to leaving like she had done countless times before.
seeing the light spill through the curtain onto the tan skin of her sleepy ex-lover, or whatever he was to her, was wrong. at least it should've felt wrong, but it felt all the more right, because now it was like they've found each other again.
her phone, that she dumped downstairs and made lando grab the previous night, was nearly dead from missed messages and calls from friends, who had known her tendencies to not answer for a period of time.
a multitude of texts and voicemails telling her to call back. she figured she should, but she knew they'd only tell her how to live her life, and to live it without him. they had their own to live, why try to influence hers?
was this really that bad of a bad idea?
she didn't have much time to think on it by the time lando's arm found its way around her waist, pulling her into his warmth, the feeling of homeliness she hadn't felt in months flooding back as she relaxed into his chest.
his lips kissing over the harsh marks he left behind the night before, the ones exposed above the neckline of his heather grey shirt he gave her. he hummed into her skin, "mornin'"
her voice was small, raspy from their time the previous day, "morning." she hadn't turned to face him, soaking in the comfort of his arms before she'd be faced with the question, what now?
"i think max's makin' food," he mumbled into her shoulder, pushing back the cloth to kiss at her skin. she sighed at the feeling, "we should get a bite."
he pulled away, slipping out of bed with just sweatpants, different from the day before, shirtless with the display of red marks all down his back.
she laid on her stomach with her arms under her head as he watched him make his way to the door, making no effort to hide her work, "i hope you don't plan to go downstairs like that," she called out after him, seeing him turn with a mischievous smile on his lips before he left around the corner.
she scoffed and threw off the covers to follow after him.
"did you get attacked by a mountain lion, mate?" max commented when he saw the state of lando's back, seeing the smile form on his face as he shook his head.
"yeah," he spoke in an amused tone when she walked into the room with his shirt, "you could say that."
max pieced the puzzle together when she appeared in his line of sight, shaking his head at him, "really?" his friend shrugged in response.
he walked with his bowl of oatmeal and beverage in hand to sit down at the cute round table they'd messed around on hours before.
"i would not eat there if i were you," lando called out over his shoulder, watching as max jumped back up right after sitting down. when he felt vibrations of her laughter into his bicep, he thought that just maybe, they'd be alright.
"ew!" he shrieked, "jesus christ, you couldn't clean it up?"
"forgot." he shrugged, going back to making his breakfast, and hers as well.
"might as well've had sex with you." he shuddered.