"Congrats, Deanna!"
"Congrats po, ate!"
"How to be you??!! Omg galing :> mimasaur ko 'yan!"
I woke up with my phone flooded with messages. I knew why they were congratulating me but paano nila nalaman?
My forehead was creasing as I stood up from my bed. Instead of going to school, I've decided to ditch my today's class na lang. I know it's not a good thing pero wala naman kaming ginagawa, walang nagtuturo... parang nag aaksaya lang ako ng oras.
Nag ayos lang ako ng breakfast but I was surprised ng makita ko ang post ni mommy, ng mga tita ko at mga kapatid ko on facebook.
Mom posted four pictures, the first one of my picture smiling on the camera when I was in Baguio. The three pictures were the screenshot of my acceptance letter from SLIU, St. Leonidas School of Business and
Arts, and University of British Columbia.
I was left with my mouth formed in O. Anong pumasok sa isip ng magulang ko para mag post? Why would they post something like this?
It's given that they're all proud of me but none of them even asked for my permission... if gusto ko bang ipublic 'yung results sa mga school na naipasa ko.
I know my mom's proud of me but... I hate publicity.
"Congrats sa pamangkin ko!" Napatingin ako sa taong niluwa ng pinto dito sa kusina. Inabot sakin ni tito ang isang sobre at tinapik ang balikat ko. "Ang galing mo talaga! Nag congrats nga din pala si Jade sa 'yo. Medyo naiinggit kasi sa Canada ka na raw mag-aaral."
I looked at my uncle as he move around the kitchen. He was talking about his daughter. My forehead was yet again creasing.
"Sinong nagsabi na sa Canada na ako?" I asked.
Hindi pa ako nagdedesisyon.
I'm open to many possibilities. I am not closing any doors for growth and opportunities.
But... I know what I want.
I know what I want to pursue.
"Bakit hindi? Madali ka namang makakapag aral sa Canada dahil inayos na namin papeles mo."
Hindi ko na tinuloy ang pakikipag-usap kay tito at mabilis akong naglakad paakyat sa kwarto ko.
"Natanggap mo na gift ko sa 'yo?" Tanong ni mommy. I nodded. "Buy yourself a new phone para hindi na 'yan biglang nag sh-shut down." I nodded once again.
"Nag congrats pala mga teacher mo sa akin. Nag message pa pati Principal mo!" I took a deep sigh.
"Ma, I don't want you to post my achievements," I said. Kumunot ang noo niya.
"Sira ka ba? Bakit hindi? Para malaman nilang lahat na matalino ka talaga. Na sinayang ka nila... 'yang treatment na nakukuha mo sa school mo just because of favoritism. Dapat makita nilang matalino ka... that you are smarter than they thought."
I took a deep sigh as I watch my phone almost dying because of the massive notifications.
Funny isn't it?
None of them told me a simple 'good luck' but all of them are now 'congratulating' me.
"Mom..." I called. Tumingin muna siya sa akin bago inayos ang bag niya. naka scrub na siya ngayon papuntang duty.
"I don't want UBC Nursing..." I whispered. I saw how my mom sighed a little but she was able to smile then nod.
"Mamaya na tayo mag-usap. May duty pa ako, nak."
There happened to be a simple celebration in the compound with the whole family. My titas, titos, lola, and my sisters. My friends from school came by in our house to eat and celebrate with me.
Iniwan ko muna silang lahat sa baba at tumambay sa maliit na balcony ng kwarto ko.
I passed SLIU. I passed their arts and business school, too.
I wonder... did he pass too?
Pumasa rin kaya siya?
He should. That university does not also care about the intelligence of the students but also their values... that guy is kind. He deserves to be there. I'm sure as heck that he's also smart.
Huminga ako nang malalim habang nakapikit ang aking mata at hindi ko mawari kung bakit ang muka ng lalaki na 'yon ang bumungad sa isip ko.
His soft feature... his lips that looks like Michelangelo sculpted it, his brown thick brows, his fair blemish free skin.
Damn! 'Yung mata niyang nakaka hypnotize... 'yung matangos niyang ilong. 'Yung mabango niyang pabango and heck! His pointed nose and sharp jawline.
That guy... he seems so perfect! He's nice, drop dead gorgeous... well, hindi ko na naman kayang itanggi na napopogian ako sa kaniya dahil totoo namang pogi siya.
I reached out for my phone and accidentally open a new message on Instagram!
Few seconds ago pa lang 'yung dm! And my eyes widened when I saw who the fuck just dmed me
@iñigomiguel:
Congrats! prudentia et valere :)
Halos ilang minuto akong nakatulala sa dm niya pero hindi ko pa rin magawang mag reply. Nakita ko naman na nasa convo pa rin siya kaya mas mabilis pa sa alas singko kong binalik ang sarili sa reyalidad.
Naka-ilang typing muna ako bago ako nakapag reply sa kaniya. Seriously... I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks I'm weird.
@deenmrnda:
thank you :) congrats din!
I replied... masyado bang simple?
Magta-type sana ako ulit pero hindi ko rin naman alam ang itatanong ko. To be honest, hindi ko naman talaga sure if nakapasa siya pero nag congrats pa rin ako.
Few minutes past pero wala akong natanggap na reply mula sa kaniya. Hihintayin ko pa sana ang reply niya pero what if hindi na mag reply? Nakakainis naman pala 'yung ganito. Ngayon ko lang naranasan ma last chat kasi usually naman ako 'yung nang se-seen.
"Ano ba?! Saan ka nagpupumunta, nakita mo ng ang daming bisita tapos nagkukulong ka pa rito!" I heard my sister's voice. I wanted to roll my eyes on her but I did my best not to.
Knowing her, kapag pinatulan ko siya for sure papalakihin niya pa. She doesn't even know how to put her anger in place. May bisita o wala, kung gusto niya magalit o ipahiya ka, gagawin niya.
And I'm so done with that.
Mabilis akong tumayon at naglakad pababa.. nilagpasan ko lang siya.
"Sa Canada ka na niyan?" Bungad na tanong sakin ni Mira.
"Aww, Canadian na siya. Kainggit!" Dagdag pa ni Choi. Ngumiti na lang ako sa kanila. Tanging ngiti lang ang nabibigay ko sa lahat ng taong bumabati sa akin ngayon. Gabi na pero ang dami pa ring bisita.
"Pinapatanong pala ni Sir Karl kung pwede raw ipost picture mo and 'yung acceptance letter sa mga school na naipasa mo," Mira whispered. Kumunot naman ang noo ko bago muling sumimsim ng Sparkling Wine.
"For what?"
"Proud daw ang school sa 'yo." I chuckled as I shook my head.
"Or they want to use my success to campaign for their school?" I asked. Hindi naman ka-agad sumagot si Mira.
I've been a good student, I always look up to my teachers because I really believe na kahit gaano pa katalino ang isang tao, they won't be molded to be a smarter and greater person if it weren't for their teachers.
I've always thought like that. Kahit gaano pa ka-terror ang teacher mo, may ambag pa rin sila sa buhay mo.
Until I studied in my current school... suddenly, I didn't even realize that I was turning to a new person. I defended their actions and how they handled the situations to myself but I knew better. They will only protect their favorites. All they care is money and good reputation.
Huminga ako nang malalim. Ayokong magalit ulit sa ginawa nila. I should be enjoying my success. I should be happy that after all the shitty things that I've been through, I manage to get here.
Nagawa ko pa rin mapunta rito at nalagpasan yung panahon na pakiramdam ko wala akong kakampi.
Na I was the only one rooting for myself... those times that I was in verge of failing but no one believed that I can get through that. The time that... I've got no hand to hold.
I excused myself dahil hindi na kaya ng social battery ko. Besides, umuwi na rin naman sina Mira. I went inside my room to clean up and change. Matutulog na sana ako diretso nang makita ko ang isang notification from Instagram.
@iñigomiguel reacted to your message
'Yun lang?
'Yun na 'yon?
I drew a deep sigh.. bakit ako disappointed? It's not as if dapat niya akong ientertain. Maybe he just wanted to congratulate me dahil wow... nakapasa 'yung babaeng tinulungan niya na muntikang hindi makapag exam.
I seriously believe na if he did not help me that time... hindi ako makakapag exam. Masyado akong irasyonal nung mga panahon na 'yon e.
Nakakahiya tuloy. Kadiri.
Pero I'm just really grateful for him. Sobra.
Pero nakakahiya pa rin kasi nakita niya akong umiyak. I shook myself in disgust! Ayoko talagang may nakakakita saking umiiyak.
Days passed by so quickly. i just graduated from my school and I could be nothing but so happy. Tapos na paghihirap ko ng dalawang taon. I failed when I chose my senior high school and I don't want to make the same mistake again.
Now, I know the importance of school to their student's mental health. Mine was ruined for two years.. I had the constant thought of kahit gaano ako kagaling, if the school won't take care of you, then walang mangyayari.
I think nasayang lang 'yung dalawang taon ko dahil tinanggalan nila ako ng pagkakataong i-enhance 'yung talent and skills ko. Most of the students I know felt like this too.
Kaya ngayon, ayoko ng magkamali sa pipiliing school.
I both love SLIU and their school of business and arts pero I've decided that I'll stay sa environment na mas focus sa FILM and that's the St. Leonidas B&A.
Ilang minuto pa lang akong naghihintay dito sa may cashier nila dahil pinagbabayad na agad ako ni mommy ng reservation fee and full tuition. I was just scrolling through my IG when I saw Miguel's post.
It was a family picture with him wearing his toga. So... he was a student from South Leonidas pala. Kaya naman pala gamay niya 'yung school na 'yon.
I swiped more kasi I want to see more pa from his graduation. Apparently, nung kahapon 'yung graduation niya. There was a group photo with his friends, apat sila doon. They were smiling so wide! 'Yung isang lalaki ay halos wala ng mata dahil sa sobrang pagka chinito niya. Well... I can say that all of them are good looking guys.
Typical Leonidasian.
I was shocked when I swiped to the last photo... it was him giving a speech.
Nag scroll ako agad sa comment section niya at hindi nga ako nagkakamali! He's the batch valedictorian! What the fuck?!
Pinanood ko 'yung stories niya and ang dami niyang post! Ang dami rin niyang re-story with different people. Agad namang napa kunot ang noo ko sa isang story na may kasama siyang babae. Naka-akbay siya doon.
Hindi naman sila mukang in a relationship. I almost roll my eyes out of nowhere pero mabuti na lang ay napigilan ko.
Congrats! You did so great :)
I replied. Agad naman akong tumayo nang tawagin ako. I paid the tuition and enrolled myself.
Ang saya lang at sobrang nakaka proud. My mom does not have to worry about me kasi kaya ko sarili ko. If I want something, I need to know how I'll get it pero sympre with the help from my mom. Pero 'yung mga ganitong bagay? Kailangan kaya ko sarili ko kasi ako lang naman mag aasikaso nito.
After paying for my tuition ay dumeretso na ako sa unang condo-dorm na chineck ko online. Ngayon ko siya gustong makita dahil gusto ko ng umalis sa Laguna as soon as possible. God knows how much I waited for this day to happen! I've always wanted to leave that town and now? Wow buti nga.
Tatlong condo-dorm ang tinignan ko at lahat naman 'yon ay studio type which was my preference. Okay na sa akin 'yon. Hindi naman ako magpapapunta ng mga ka-blockmates or what.
I decided to get the second condo kasi 'yon yung pinakamalapit sa campus. Tatawid lang ako sa overpass and nasa GATE 2 na ako. Ayoko ng hassle sa mundo.
Nag dinner muna ako sa isang pizzeria around bgc before I went back to my airbnb. Sa isang araw ang uwi ko sa Laguna. Aayusin ko lang ang mga gamit ko then by next week ay dito na ako sa Manila.
I took a bath and did my skin care before humiga sa kama. Manonood sana ako ng Filipino Movie on netflix pero tinignan ko muna 'yung phone ko. Nag reply na kaya yun?
Nag reply nga.
Para akong tanga kasi bigla akong na-excite e alam ko namang mag eend din 'yung convo namin kagaya nung nakaraan.
@iñigomiguel:
thank you! lol di naman haha
7:08PM
Late siya ng reply but I don't care dahil sigurado naman akong may iba siyang ginawa at baka kanina niya lang nakita message ko. It's already passed 10PM.
@iñigomiguel:
btw im sorry to ask this but will you pursue sliu?
just curious
7:52PM
Wow.
@deenmrnda:
nope. im already enrolled and wbu?
slr ngayon ko lang nakita message mo
@iñigomiguel:
haha no prob :)
naks. saan?
canada?
And how did he know about that? Right.. nag post nga pala nanay ko.
@deenmrnda:
no
St. Leonidas B&A
OH
MAGKALAPIT LANG CAMPUS NATIN!
i know
ay
sungit
joke
pero seriously see u!
Hindi na agad nag reply dahil tumawag nanay ko sakin. Pagkatapos non ay nag reply ulit ako kay Iñigo Miguel. Ewan ko anong itatawag ko sa kaniya. We talked and talked hanggang sa na-realize ko na lang na tapos na 'yung movie na pinili ko kanina. Wala man lang akong naintindihan.
Is this normal? I think it's normal to talk to him for hours. Siguro ay parehas lang kaming bored nito.
But not gonna lie... I actually enjoy talking to him. Sa iba hindi ko kayang magtagal ng conversation pero everytime na napuputol 'yung conversation namin ay nagtatanong ulit siya.
Mabuti naman... hindi ko naman kayang ipagpatuloy convo namin.
Hindi ko na lang namalayan na we already talked about lots of things. He asked me why wouldn't I pursue UBC. I did not tell him everything though but just enough informaation. Totoo naman kasing hindi ko talaga gusto nursing. Kaya lang naman ako nag try doon kasi may advantage ako dahil Canadian nurse si mommy.
I can't even see myself in nursing. Ang hirap mag aral ng kursong hindi mo gusto. Ang hirap din mag aral sa school na di inaalagaan estudyante. Ang problematic naman ng education life. Ayoko ng pakomplekahin pa lahat.
That's why when my relatives said a lot about my decision to take FILM here, hinayaan ko na lang. Ang mahalaga ay suportado ako ng nanay ko. Wala na silang say doon. Kapag naman nag fail ako, hindi sila ang sasalo sakin so why do I have to listen to every unsolicited advice they give?
Miguel and I also talked about his plans. He's pursuing accountancy in SLIU which I believe is a good choice because he said he's into business and at the same time he'll study the law. Though I believe na accountancy talaga pinaka mahirap na course sa lahat. Hindi ako mag susurvive doon.
Seriously? There's a lot to be talked about him... super interesting niya.
Na bo-bother lang talaga ako sa part na ang lalaki na 'to ay nakita na akong umiya. Gosh! Kapag naalala ko 'yon parang gusto ko na lang magpalamon sa lupa. Nakakadiri talaga!
We seriously talked about a lot of things but just the surface thoughts and information. He shared about himself, he asked me about myself. Just the usual communication.
Kinabukasan ay halos natulog lang ako dahil sa puyat. Miguel told me na ngayon siya mag eenroll sa SLIU which means nandito siya sa manila. Ano namang gagawin ko? Sasalubungin siya?
@iñigomiguel:
enrolled na ako
congrats
thank you
btw may friends ka from high school na sa B&A rin mag cocollege?
none
wbu?
just my two friends, the other one will study in Leonidas med in Cavite.
what course?
curious?
im just asking
sabi ko nga
dentistry ata. ewan not sure
Kung makipag-usap siya sa akin akala mo matagal na kaming magkakilala at magkaibigan. Kung ibang tao siguro 'to, minalditahan ko na pero hindi ko magawa, e.
Ramdam ko kasing mabait siya kaya siguro hindi ko siya masungitan. Not that I'm saying that everyone around me are bad kaya ayoko sa kanila. It's just that... ang bilis ko makaramdam sa mga tao.
Minsan kilala ko agad kung sinong mang tatraydor sakin.
Minsan kilala ko agad kung sino 'yung hindi totoo.
Ang hirap ng ganito kasi parang nababaliw na ako kakaisip kung sinong pagkakatiwalaan ko kaya in the end, hindi na lang ako nagtitiwala.
Iñigo Miguel calling...
Kumunot ang noo ko pero mabilis din naman 'yung tawag.
@iñigomiguel:
im so sorry, napindot ko lang. sorryyyy
Ang daldal niya. Hindi ko na nireplyan dahil kinailangan ko na mag-ayos ng gamit ko. Hindi rin naman ako chinat pa ni Miguel, for sure busy rin 'yon. Taga Sta. Rosa siya tapos sa Manila na mag-aaral so for sure naglilipat na 'yon.
I was the only one to fix my things. I don't expect anyone to help me dahil ayoko rin namang nandito sila dahil may maririnig lang akong hindi ko gugustuhing marinig.
I received messages from some of the people I once thought of as my friends telling me that they'll miss me. Sana inisip nila muna 'yung mararamdaman ko when they chose to be kind to the people who hurt my feelings.
Naiinis na naman tuloy ako ng wala sa oras. I don't understand why some people call themselves as friends pero they are still nice to the people who betrayed, ruined your name, and hurt you down to the depth of hell.
And it hurt me so much because I know I will never do that to them.
"Oh, aalis ka na? Baka magpa buntis ka lang doon, ha." Agad nagpantig ang tenga ko sa narinig ko kaya 'yung kunting inis na nararamdaman ko kanina ay mas lalong lumala.
"Hindi naman po ako kagaya niyo," mabilis na sagot ko bago tinayo 'yung isang malaking maleta ko.
Tumayo pa siya sa may pintuan ko habang nakapamewang.
"Bastos talaga," bulong niya na akala ay hindi ko narinig. Iniisip ng mga tao ba't ako galit e laging ganito araw-araw ko tuwing nasa paligid sila. Paanong di magagalit.
"Ginagamit mo pa ba 'tong mga 'to? Sayang naman binili-bili mo at pera ng nanay mo pero di mo naman laging ginagamit." Hindi ako sumagot. "Ipamigay mo na lang kung hindi mo gagamitin."
I secretly rolled my eyes. Mas pipiliin kong sunugin 'yan kesa ibigay sa inyo. Mas pipiliin ko pang ibigay 'yan sa mga pulubi kesa sa inyong kamag-anak ko.
"That's mine."
"Ang damot mo talaga. Hindi naming alam kanino ka nag mana." Definitely sa 'yo. Madamot ka kay mommy noon e.
"Yung pinsan mo napaka bait non. Matalino pa. Nako kung may pera lang kami kagaya ng nanay mo, pag-aaralin din naming siya sa Maynila. Eh, itong nanay moa yaw kaming pautangin. Walang utang na loob e hindi naman siya makakapag ibang bansa kung dahil samin.."
Hindi na niya natuloy yung sinasabi niya when I purposely pushed my standing mirror leading for it to break.
"Napaka bastos mo no! Hindi mo naman 'to pamamahay!"
"At mas lalong hindi sa 'yo! Sa lola ko 'to!" Sabi ko sa kaniya. Sino ba siya? Asawa lang naman siya ng tito ko na kung makisali sa agawan ng lupa akala mo ka-dugo.
"Anong nangyayari dyan? Ate?" Tanong ng isa ko pang tito na kakadating lang. Bigla naman siyang umiyak at nag-inarte.
"Lumabas na kayo!" I hissed bago sila pinalabas ng kwarto ko. I locked the door at mabilis na pinakalma ang sarili. Kapal ng muka!
I looked at the shredded mirror. Nakita ko rin ang kunting dugo na nasa paanan ko. Hindi ko namalayan na natamaan ako non kanina.
If this happened before, siguro ay umiiyak na ako pero wala ng talab 'to sakin ngayon. Sanay na ako e.
Nilinis ko na muna yung basag na salamin pero bago pa ako matapos ay narinig ko na 'yung sunod sunod na katok at sigaw ng kapatid ko. I took a deep sigh.
Another fight. I need to look strong again.
"Ano?" Tanong ko na halos di ko natapos when I felt her hand on my cheek. The fuck?
"Ano bang problema mo? Lahat na binibigay sa 'yo pero 'yang ugali mo hindi mo mabago?! Nagpapakahirap ang mommy sa ibang bansa tapos ikaw puro kasamaan ginagawa! Wala kang respeto! Wala kang sinasanto!"
Tinitigan ko lang siya. Umiinit na ng sobra ang dugo ko. My younger self would've slapped her too and made sure to say more hurtful words pero pagod na ako sa ganon. Paulit-ulit na lang.
"Tapos ngayon hindi ka makapag salita?! Bakit ganan ugali mo, ha?! Nakakasawa ka ng intindihin. Sinasabihan lang kami ni mommy na inintindihin ka kasi baka magpakamatay ka!" I lost myself.
"Bakit ako magpapakamatay e sating dalawa I, more, deserve to live?" I asked and made sure to make a face that she cannot stomach.
"Ganan totoo mong ugali! Humingi ka naman ng tawad sa ugali mo. Lagi ka na lang kinakampihan ng mommy."
"Talaga! Hindi ka kinakampihan kasi alam niyang hindi totoo lahat ng sinasabi mo! Lahat ng sinasabi niyo tungkol sakin! Magagalit ba ako kung hindi niyo ako ginagalit? Rerespetuhin ko naman kayo kung deserve niyo 'yon but no! You always give me reasons not to respect you!"
"Ang taas-taas ng tingin mo sa sarili mo!"
Hindi na ako nagtanong pa kung anong sinabi sa kaniya ng magaling naming tiyahin dahil alam ko naman na ako talaga mali sa paningin nilang lahat.
"Tama na 'yan! Ano ba kayong magkapatid!" Awat ni tito.
"Wala ka pa ngang napapatunayan! Puro ka lang hingi. Napaka spoiled mo!"
"Sating dalawa, ako 'yung matalino! Tapos nag-iisip ka pa rin bakit mas pinaboran ako? Well, let me tell you this! Hindi ako bobita kagaya mo! Hindi ako malandi kagaya mo!" I felt another handful from her. Tumawa na lang ako dahilan para mas lalo siyang magalit at hilahin buhok ko.
Ayoko siyang patulan sa ganitong paraan. Bahala siyang manakit. If something happens, I just know that my future attorney will be able to defend me in court dahil saming dalawa ng kapatid ko, siya 'yung may history na laging nanakit at hindi ako.
"Demonyita ka!"
"Bitchesa!" I shouted back before locking the door. Narinig ko pa paano siya nag hihisterikal sa labas. Baliw.
Mamaya kakalat na 'tong pangyayari na 'to sa buong angkan naming at ako na naman ang mali kahit alam kong hindi naman ako nagsimula.
Before, I tried my best na hindi na sila sagutin pero hindi ko kinaya. Ever since I was a kid, I had this notion that I have to level on their energy kung hindi ay kawawa ako.
Hindi ko alam saan ko nakukuha 'yung ganitong lakas. If they go lower, I'll make sure to hurt them more with my words that could go lower than the depth of hell.
Kung hindi ko idedefend sarili ko, walang mangyayari. I will always look the villain so why not give them what they were always asking for?
I cleaned the blood on my feet and fixed myself. Sinuklay ko 'yung maiksi kong buhok at mabilis naman siyang umayos. I also checked my cheeks at okay naman siya.
Nilinis ko muna kwarto ko and I made sure that everything I needed ay ayos na. Ayoko ng bumalik dito. I did not understand na bakit kailangan pa ng isang gulo bago ako tuluyan makaalis dito.
I'll just order a study table and chair sa Manila. Hindi ko kayang dalhin mabibigay na bagay na nandito sa kwarto ko. At dahil sa nangyari kanina, I also packed all of my bags and shoes na hindi ko naman dapat dadalhin.
Asa kayong ibibigay ko 'to sa inyo.
I took another sigh as I lay down my bed. I saw that my mom was calling me on my laptop but I chose to ignore it. I was real mad but my mood suddenly changed when I opened my phone.
He sent me a message few hours ago.
I wanted to read his message but I decided not to. Instead, I scrolled on my feed. I watched my mutual stories' until I ended up on Miguel's.
'Yung unang picture ay sa NAIA, the next one was a picture of his siblings on the airport lounge, the third one was a stolen shot of his mom smiling, the fourth was a selfie with his dad... they looked so alike! They were smiling.
An hour ago, he posted a photo of Shibuya crossing. So, he was in Japan.
Hindi ko alam bakit parang nahihirapan akong huminga sa nakikita ko at the same time parang kumakalma ako. Nawala 'yung galit na nasa sistema ko while I watch his stories but at the same time parang ang hirap tignan non.
Hindi ko alam.
@iñigomiguel:
hi
Pinag-isipan ko muna ng ilang Segundo bago ko binuksan 'yung panibago niyang message. I read his previous messages first. He replied to my last question, then told me that he's off to the airport with his family.
hello
how's Japan?
it's good
how r u??
im good?
done with packing?
yup
ready to go haha
take care tomo
yea. enjoy your trip
what happened to your day?
I stopped for a moment... what happened to my day? I was just peacefully packing my things but chaos came. I did not know what to tell him so I left him on read for a few minutes. I just told him that my day went cool. Ayokong nag o-open up masyado sa tao.
Even if I like talking to him, hindi ko pa rin dapat sinasabi sa kaniya 'yung mga bagay na hindi niya naman dapat malaman. It's the least thing I want to happen; people minding my business.
To divert the attention, I asked him a lot about his day. Wala naman daw masyadong nangyari aside sa byumahe sila. Bukas pa sila mag gagala. I asked him about his brothers kaya naman kinuwentuhan niya ako. May isa siyang kapatid na grade 5, 'yung dalawa naman ay kambal, tapos may baby brother pa siyang 11 month and next month daw ay isang taon na. They're preparing for his first birthday daw.
I was entertained by him at natutuwa ako doon. Tuwing nag-aaway kami ng pamilya ko, wala akong ibang ginagawa kundi manood ng movies at matulog dahil hindi ko rin naman kinuwento na sa mga kaibigan ko nangyayari sa bahay.
Before, I was opening up with my friends but then I knew that my sister was secretly accessing on my social media accounts at binabasa niya lahat. Ayon nagpa pa victim na naman siya. As if ako laging nauuna. Pinagkalat niya 'yon sa pamilya naming at sa mga kaibigan niya. Kaya galit sakin lahat. Nagalit ba ako tuwing gumagawa siya ng kwento?
I deleted all of my socmed accounts and decided to create another. Hindi ko sila friends sa account na 'to.
Miguel and I talked for almost the whole night. Ang dami niyang kuwento at hinayaan ko na lang siyang mag kuwento dahil tinatamad naman ako mag share ng kung ano. Paulit ulit niya akong tinatanong if may gusto ba akong i-share o ikwento pero I kept on telling him na wala at mag kwento na lang siya dahil makikinig naman ako.
Buti na lang hindi siya nauubusan ng idadaldal.
Ako na 'yung nagpaalam dahil mukang inaantok na rin siya. I slept for a few hours pero maaga rin akong gumising at nag asikaso dahil ayokong magtagal pa rito. The van came at nilagay doon ng tito ko lahat ng gamit ko. I locked my room and made sure na dala ko lahat ng susi.
I busied myself cleaning my studio unit and arranging my things. Kumuha rin ako ng taga linis na nakita ko online para may kasama ako sa paglilinis dahil maypaka masalan ako sa alikabok at kalat. Hindi naman madumi 'to, pero gusto ko malinis lahat.
I went to IKEA and checked some study chairs and study table. Nakita ko naman gusto ko so I bought it using my mom's money at idedeliver na lang daw nila 'yon sa condo ko. After my errands in IKEA, pumunta na akong mall to look for my school stationary. Binili ko na lahat ng kakailanganin ko.
After that ay nag grocery ako. Mas nag focus akong bumii ng mga hygienic kit kesa foods pero lahat naman ng kailangan ko ay sinigurado kong binili ko.
I checked Miguel's stories at puro picture ng mga kapatid at magulang niya ang naroon. May isa pa nga na nakasabit sa magkabilang braso niya 'yung kambal. May video rin na niraraskal niya 'yung mga bata niyang kapatid na napipikon na sa kaniya pero tumatawa pa rin.
@iñigomiguel:
BOUGHT U SOME CHOCOLATES
i don't like chocolates
???
noted
oke
i'll give this to u pa rin
how was ur day?
ako na naman magkukwento?
haha
my day was quite great. cleaned and arranged things in my condo then went to IKEA to look for study chair and study table. bought some college needs then grocery.
that's nice
what about dinner?
ate out
im not a good cook but hoping that I'll learn now that im living alone
INDEPENDENT!
SALUTE!
oa
sorry?
oh
look at this photo oh
the panda looks so alone
edi sana tinabihan mo nah aha
wow?
We talked again until he bid his good bye muna kasi he needed to buy foods daw.
Ang saya ng pamilya niya.
Iñigo Miguel is a very nice and kind man. He's easy to be with... family oriented, smart... he's got everything. He's too good to be true. And for someone like him?
He deserves someone in his level.. 'yung masiyahin at family oriented din.
I can't deny that this guy is somehow making me forget how annoyed I am with people. Pero that doesn't mean na gusto ko na siya. Ewan. Never experienced this before. Lahat kasi halos binibigyan ako ng ick.
But... he's really a good guy at kung sino mang mamahalin niya...
Ang swerte ng babae na 'yon.
Oo, naiinggit ako.