Three soft knocks in succession on her door had Yaseerah barely suppressing an eye roll, as she’s inadvertently pulled from her thoughts.
Crossing the room in sure strides, she grinned, ready to deliver a firm rebuttal to her husband, as she unlocked the door.
“I told you I’m fine, you don’t need to check up on me every two seconds–,” Her words died in her throat, her smile freezing against her face, as she came face to face with four eager faces.
“Surprise!”
Yaseerah could only blink as she stared at the people she couldn’t be sure she could even call her friends, as they peered at her expectantly.
Her gaze moved from the trio–Zarah, Layla and Amira–and fell on Amina who stood on the side, looking guilty, before it settled on her husband who stood a few feet away, his hands stuck in the pocket of his slacks, looking uncertain when their gazes met.
Her initial annoyance melted away, replaced by a sense of warmth as she continued to gaze at him, remembering their conversation earlier, and the way he had held her up.
It took significant effort to look away from him, her lips lifting into a well-practiced smile, as she took in their bright smiles, and the excitement sparkling in their eyes, feeling a bit squeamish but not letting it show.
“What are you guys doing here?” she queried, her gaze on Zarah who stood slightly behind Layla and Amira, her expression more reserved but no less welcoming.
“It’s been a long time since we had a sleepover,” Zarah spoke softly, choosing her words carefully, as if afraid Yaseerah would turn them away. “So here we are and–”
“I know we haven’t been the best examples of what friends should be but we were hoping to change that today,” Layla spoke over Zarah. Her excitement was infectious yet her words carried a hint of uncertainty as she bounced on her feet nervously, clasping her hands behind her back to contain her emotions, as she stared down at her feet. “If you would have us?”
“Of course we will understand if it’s too much too soon because of what happened during the henna party.” Amira blew out a breath, her tone uncertain just like Layla’s, as she too stared down at her feet. “We’ve wanted to make amends ever since but we had no idea how, or if we even deserve your forgiveness. Fou’ad inviting us over today gave us the chance we’ve been hoping for.”
Yaseerah felt a lump lodge in her throat, her heart swelling with a mix of emotions, as her gaze once again found Fou’ad’s.
“Thank you,” she mouthed, earning a small smile from him. It made butterflies flutter in the pit of her stomach, as she felt a sense of belonging she hadn’t felt in a long time.
She had no idea she had missed her friends until now, this impromptu visit touching her more deeply than she cared to admit.
This was a small step, but it was a start–a chance to heal old wounds and rebuild what had been broken.
Fou’ad told himself to breathe, and not focus on the tingling sensations working their way through every nerve ending in his body at the sight of her smile, and the gratitude rolling off of her in waves.
“Anything for you,” he mouthed back, as he watched her embrace her friends, before he turned to leave, giving them the privacy he knew they needed, knowing that he had left her in safe hands.
Yaseerah wanted to call him back, to tell him that what she wanted in that moment was to spend time with him alone, not with her friends. But she recognized the need to mend the frail bridge that was the friendship between their group so she focused on them instead, not commenting on the fact that Nadia was the only person absent.
Perhaps, that ship had sailed, and she wasn’t sure whether Nadia’s absence was worse than her presence.
“Come in,” she managed to choke out, her voice barely above a whisper, as she stepped aside to invite them into her haven.
“What happened to your face?” Layla asked, like it was the first time she was noticing the visible bruises on Yaseerah’s face, which were stark against her otherwise flawless complexion.
A surge of self-consciousness hit Yaseerah in that moment, as the others turned towards her, their eyes wide with shock, likely noticing the bruises too.
She tried to brush off the uneasy feeling, reminding herself that these were her friends, they would understand. But she knew it wasn’t going to be easy.
“What did he do to you?” Zarah’s voice was accusatory, her eyes flashing with both anger and concern, as she turned towards the spot Fou’ad had just been standing at. “Is he a danger to you?”
Yaseerah would have found the newfound overprotectiveness endearing, if they’d been on good terms for a long while, but before she could utter a word, Layla and Amira started bombarding her with questions and exclamations, their voices overlapping in a cacophony of noise that made her feel overwhelmed, her heart pounding in her chest as she struggled to keep her emotions in check.
“That’s enough.”
Though she hadn’t shouted, there was a strong intensity to her tone that had them all quiet down, as they turned to her with varying degrees of emotions.
Yaseerah took a deep breath, gathering her courage, feeling exposed, and vulnerable, as she met the gaze of each of them, unsure of how they would react. “It’s not what you think,” she began, her voice steady despite the tremor in her hands. “And I do not wish to speak about it, either now or ever. I hope you understand.”
Zarah’s expression softened, her anger giving way to empathy, even though she still appeared like she wanted to argue. “Of course,” she murmured, stepping forward to embrace her friend. “I’m sorry if we overstepped. We were just–”
“Fou’ad would never hurt me,” she stated firmly, cutting Zarah off. “I know that, I trust him which is more than I can say for either one of you three.”
It was a low blow, Yaseerah knew it but she couldn’t deny the truth of it either.
“Yaseerah,” Amina began, speaking for the first time Yaseerah had seen them. “They’re just–”
“You’re right,” Zarah conceded, cutting Amina off, as she tipped her head forward in submission. “And once again, I apologize for each of our behaviors. I know it’s nothing to write home about, but believe me when I say this, we truly are sorry. We can leave if you don’t–”
“Water under the bridge?” Yaseerah cut in.
“Toast,” they chimed in unison, and Yaseerah’s smile grew, as she stepped away to welcome them into her bedroom.
“Group hug?” Amina called out, making Yaseerah scrunch her nose in distaste.
“I don’t–” Yaseerah began to protest, but Amina was not having it.
“Oh, get over yourself,” Amina rolled her eyes, as she grabbed Yaseerah and pulled her into their group embrace.
“Now,” Layla pulled back, wiping a wayward tear from her eyes, as her lips split into a grin. “Let’s get this party going. We sound like a heartbreak song on repeat, and that will not do.”
Her words earned a lot of laughter from the girls, and Yaseerah watched them with a fond smile, an odd sense of nostalgia washing over her, as they began to arrange her bedroom to their preferences.
Their presence was like a balm to her weary soul as she observed them–Zarah’s reserved smile, Layla’s infectious enthusiasm, and Amira’s uncertain gaze, speaking volumes about their willingness to seek her forgiveness.
Her heart swelled with affection for them, grateful for their efforts to mend their fractured friendship.
It had been a long time since they had had a sleepover, and every single one usually started and ended with Yaseerah being the pariah because Nadia always picked on her and made subtle jabs no one could blame her for, while the others–except Amina who occasionally put Nadia in her place–watched and laughed it off.
Yaseerah hoped tonight would be different and if it weren’t, well...she had the option of kicking them out–a thought that had her lips tilting up into a smile, as once again she came to the realization that she no longer lived under her father’s roof and as such, she didn’t need to cater to her friends, or anyone else’s whims.
“How are you feeling?” Amina leaned in to whisper, her tone cautious as she assessed her cousin. “Fou’ad told me what happened. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“I’m just tired,” Yaseerah responded, echoing the statement she’d made to Fou’ad earlier. “I just want to close my eyes and sleep but my exhaustion is more than just in my body, I feel it everywhere. It’s in my heart, in my mind, in my soul, in everything that I am. Sometimes, I wonder if I’ll ever not be tired.”
“Oh, Yaseerah,” Amina’s heart twisted, as she wrapped her arms around Yaseerah, feeling torn between wanting to rejoice in the fact that she had opened up to her, and the fact that she couldn’t help her with anything to ease her exhaustion, or everything else she was going through. “I wish there was more that I could do for you.”
“Just being here is enough,” Yaseerah smiled gently, as she watched the others, feeling like a significant weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.
“You really mean it?” Amina’s words were hopeful, even though she didn’t want to make the moment about her.
“Have I ever said something I didn’t mean?” Yaseerah rolled her eyes, answering Amina’s question with a question.
Amina let out a long suffering sigh, knowing it was per for the course with her cousin to run away from conversations that dealt with emotions.
“Just say the word, and I’ll send them away,” she squeezed Yaseerah’s arm reassuringly, choosing to change the subject. “If you ask me, I don’t think socializing is the best cause for you right now. I know they say they mean well but you can’t erase years of bad blood in a day. I wanted to tell Fou’ad no but...” she trailed off, blowing out a breath, as her gaze narrowed on Layla and Amira who were now focused on the theme of Yaseerah’s bedroom whispering to each other just like they–Amina and Yaseerah–were doing. “He sounded so distraught and angry, I didn’t know what else to do.”
“I think I owe you an apology Amina.” Yaseerah’s lips tilted into another real smile, as she tilted her head to the side so she could see her cousin clearly. “You’ve been such an amazing friend and cousin to me for all these years, and all I did was–”
“The past is the past,” Amina cut her off, smiling widely. “Water under the bridge, like you said earlier. Let’s not dwell on it any longer, and just focus on the here and now, like the fact that you’ve got that man wrapped around your little finger.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Yaseerah ducked her head down, hiding a smile, earning a loud chortle from Amina.
“You do know what I’m talking about,” Amina singsonged, as she pinched Yaseerah’s arm playfully.
Yaseerah chuckled, feeling a sense of warmth and comfort in her cousin’s presence. “Alright, maybe just a little.”
Amina grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “I knew it! So spill, what’s going on between you two? Have you finally made up?”
Yaseerah hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal. “It’s... complicated. We still haven’t had a proper conversation but I’m still processing everything, trying to work things out on my end.”
Amina’s expression softened, her playful demeanor giving way to empathy. “I’m sorry, Yaseerah. I know things haven’t been easy for you lately.”
Yaseerah nodded, feeling a lump form in her throat. “Thank you, Meeeeee. It means a lot to me.”
Amina pulled her into a hug, holding her close. “You don’t have to thank me, Yaseerah. I’m your cousin, and your friend, even though it’s taken you such a long time to figure that out, because you have such a strong coconut head. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what, even in moments when you tell me you don’t need me.”
Yaseerah felt a wave of gratitude wash over her, grateful for her unwavering support, knowing that she was lucky to have her cousin by her side, in spite of everything that had happened in the past.
“Have you gone to see Mamu yet?” Amina asked softly, eyeing her cousin cautiously, as if she was afraid something bad was going to happen at the mention of Mamu’s name.
“No.”
“Yaseerah...” Amina trailed off, sighing when her cousin’s expression shuttered. “You know that you can’t keep hiding from her forever.”
“I’m not hiding from her. I just don’t want to talk about her right now, please. I just... I need time. I don’t... I can’t...” Tears burned the backs of her eyes, and she angrily wiped them away, swallowing past the lump in her throat. “I don’t want to talk about her, or my father, or Fou’ad, or anyone. Just let me have this moment please.”
“Okay,” Amina nodded reluctantly, even though every part of her wanted to argue. “You’ve got it. Let’s just–”
“Hey, you two!” Layla hollered, garnering their attention. “What are you whispering about? Get over here!”
Amina gave Yaseerah’s arm a reassuring squeeze before they both joined the group, immersing themselves in the laughter and chatter that filled the room.
Despite the lingering heaviness in her heart, Yaseerah found a strange solace in their presence. Yet, beneath her gratitude laid a yearning, a deep-seated longing for someone else, someone whose absence weighed heavily on her.
***
Here it is, as promised 🤞🏾.
See you, Monday.
But before then, I would really love to hear your thoughts before we move on to the next part of the book.
What do you think about the characters? Their relationships, their mannerisms etc.
Even if it's just a word, or an emoji really, I will truly appreciate your response.
Xoxo, Jidderh ❤️